6. Matteo
Chapter 6
Matteo
I sat in my office as the hours ticked by. I did my best to concentrate but I found myself thinking about Amelia as usual. I couldn’t believe she was in my house right now.
I told myself that I sent Eddie to pick her up because I was busy with work, but the real reason was that I was avoiding seeing Amelia until it was absolutely necessary. After how we left things last week, I wasn’t sure how it would be when we saw each other again. She probably hated me for how I left her there. I knew she had no right to feel that way. She was the one who ended our relationship. She picked pleasing her parents over me.
I doubt she ever even loved me. She gave up on us way too easily. She never once thought to fight for me. For us. All her parents had to do was ask and she dropped me like I meant nothing. I tried to remind myself of that whenever I felt guilty. Despite everything she’d done to me, I still felt strangely bad about leaving her in the park in her wedding dress.
I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. This was becoming too much for me to handle. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. I should be working, but all I could think about was Amelia. She occupied my thoughts in a way no one ever had. So much time had passed but she still had power over my thoughts and actions.
I’d done everything I could to fix that, and I knew that by agreeing to let her stay in my house, I was setting myself back several years. I was regressing to a time in my life when she consumed me. I told myself I would get closure from this but there was a good chance it would end up destroying the progress I’d made over the years.
I was already starting to regret agreeing to Joseph’s deal. It was a terrible idea. I couldn’t possibly live with Amelia for four months, not with all the history between us. History that if Joseph knew about, he’d rush to get his daughter away from me.
I imagined what his reaction would be when he discovered the truth. He would be livid.
Agreeing to his deal would only complicate my life. I knew that but it was too late to go back. Amelia was already in my house. I knew because Eddie called to let me know he’d picked her up. It was a quick conversation because I fought against the part of me that wanted to ask about her. I knew I shouldn’t care but there was a part of me that worried.
This was the first time Amelia had gone against her parents’ request. It was a huge step; one I couldn’t help wishing she’d taken years ago. Maybe then things would be different. Maybe she and I would have—
My door swung open and my thoughts were cut off abruptly. I looked up at Kayla who stood in the doorway with an apologetic expression.
“I’m sorry sir. I knocked for a while but you didn’t answer.”
I must have been so lost in thought that I didn’t hear her knocking. “Sorry about that. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving.” She must have noticed the confusion on my face because she said, “It’s seven.”
My eyes widened and I glanced at the clock in the corner. I had no idea it was so late. Despite the time, I still wasn’t ready to go home. I wasn’t ready to face Amelia.
“Please tell Eddie that he can leave now. I’ll drive myself home.”
“All right, sir.”
After she left, my mind went right back to Amelia. I couldn’t believe her presence was making me stay at the office this late. I typically worked late but this was a stretch, even for me. When I finally left the office, it was dark outside, almost ten.
I took the elevator down to the last floor and walked to the parking lot. The night air greeted me as I walked over to my car. I grabbed my keys from the nighttime security staff, thanked him, and took off down the road.
I spent the elevator ride up to my penthouse thinking about what I would say when I finally saw Amelia again. When the doors slid open, I walked into the living room. Somehow, the space already felt different now that she’d been in here. And I could smell her scent in the room.
I was walking towards my room when I heard Amelia laughing. The sound made me stop dead in my tracks. I hadn’t heard it in five years. It traveled across the rooms in the house, and I followed it to the kitchen. There I found Amelia chatting with Agnes.
The two women sat at the counter with glasses of juice in their hands. I stopped at the kitchen doorway and Amelia turned to face me. I watched as her laughter faded and her wide smile turned into a straight-lipped grin.
“Hi,” she said, her voice barely audible.
“Hi.”
Agnes must have noticed the tension between us because she coughed awkwardly and stood up. “Excuse me.”
The room fell silent in her absence. I held Amelia’s gaze but after a while, she looked away. She gulped down her juice and faced me again.
“How was work?” she asked.
“Fine.”
“That’s good to hear.”
Silence.
“How was your flight?” I asked.
“Comfortable.”
“Hm, that’s nice.”
More silence.
She poured herself another glass of juice and drank it all like she’d just returned from a journey into the desert. “You want some?” she asked.
“No.”
More silence.
I decided to put an end to both our miseries. “Good night,” I said as I turned to leave.
“Why am I here?” Amelia asked. Her question made me pause and turn around to look at her. She stood up from where she was sitting, placed the empty glass on the table, and walked closer to me. “Why am I here, Matteo? Why did you grant my dad’s wish when you could have just said no? I don’t understand.”
I considered telling her about the deal Joseph made me. It wasn’t the real reason I’d agreed to let her live here, but it was the one I was capable of sharing. I’d rather have her believe I was an ambitious businessman who would do anything for money than for her to know that I wanted her here because I still cared about her.
I’d done my best to deny it but that was the truth. I still cared about Amelia Pierson. Even after everything she did. Even after everything she put me through. Even after all that I still cared about her. This had to be some kind of mental illness. How was it possible that I still had any affection for a woman who tossed me aside without a second thought?
I should hate her, but I didn’t.
Amelia spoke up again when I remained silent. “Why am I here, Matteo?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the only answer I could give her, and it was the honest truth. I still had no idea exactly why she was here. What had I hoped to achieve when I accepted this deal? What was the point of bringing her to my home? What would be the outcome of this ludicrous arrangement?
I didn’t know the answers to those questions. I’d spent days thinking, but I had no answers to give. I wished I knew why I was doing this. I wished I understood the part of myself that thought this was a good idea.
Unfortunately, I didn’t.
I turned to leave again and this time, Amelia didn’t speak. I walked to my room. I paused by the door and stared at the room I’d assigned to her. It was close enough that only a few steps would take me to her. I tried to understand why I hadn’t given her one on the other side of the penthouse. That way we could truly keep our distance. I didn’t understand a lot of the decisions I made recently.
With a deep sigh, I pushed my door open and walked inside. I tossed my suit jacket onto the chair by the window. The rest of my clothes followed and then I walked into the bathroom. I needed a hot shower to help me relax.
A few minutes later, I lay in bed. The hot shower had helped me relax but it did nothing for my chaotic thoughts. I tried to sleep but I kept thinking of Amelia in the room close by.
I thought about her so much that she remained on my mind in my sleep. I dreamed of Amelia. My dreams were full of the memories we shared. Memories that I’d been trying hard to forget. Back then I thought I’d met my soulmate. Little did I know she would break my heart two years later.
When I woke up, Amelia was still in my thoughts. I wondered if I would change things if given the opportunity. Would never meeting her be better than having my heart broken?
I wanted to say yes but I knew the real answer to that question. Even though I knew things wouldn’t end well between us I would have still chosen to meet her.