Sterling
“You’ve got to stop looking at the papers.”
I put my phone down because Aphrodite wasn’t wrong because I was hyper-fixating on what people had to say.
I’d made the gossip pages. For the first time in my entire life, I’d been thrown out there to the media with no type of pre-released press release for protection.
I hated that I was obsessing over this how I was but I couldn’t help it.
Before it never mattered much to me but this time it did.
I was never worried about being a reflection on my family.
Well, that wasn’t accurate. I worried about it only to the extent that my desire for perfection would keep them off my back.
This time I truly cared. Wanted the people that mattered to Aldrich to think I was good for him.
I knew they wouldn’t base my worth on a tabloid but that still didn’t shake the bad habit I had of trying to make sure they weren’t ripping me to shreds. And of course they were.
“I know. I can’t help it.”
Aphrodite nodded her understanding as she leaned back in her chair. She was wearing a full face of makeup despite being in a t-shirt because she’d been doing press from home all morning.
We were having lunch at our place and cooking helped to relieve the stress the morning had brought.
Aldrich had treatment and I saw the way he got banged up at the game.
When we got home and got Ami settled to sleep I was happy to start our night in the shower.
His body had been covered in bruises and they looked so painful I wanted to cry.
Instead of letting me feel sorry for him, he put my ass up against the wall to show me that a few bruises weren’t going to stop him from pleasuring me.
That kept me from seeing any of this until he’d gone to work. I’d gotten nosy and looked for the link on Athlete Dirt that had my cousin Denise telling the family group chat my business. And I’d been hit with an avalanche of people’s opinions of me.
Aphrodite didn’t drive so I sent a car service out to her so that she didn’t have to worry about getting to me. Besides, I needed my friend and I had no issue with making her comfortable here.
“I know I’m being a hypocrite by telling you that because I look.
I look when it’s someone talking about my game.
I for damn sure look to see if they’re talking shit about Anthony because that’s the quickest way to piss me off.
” Her pretty face frowned up as she reached for a cracker on the charcuterie board I’d laid out.
I hadn’t wanted to pay to have some of my entertaining pieces shipped from my house because the cost would’ve been ridiculous.
Having to find a mover I trusted enough to go in my home with just my housekeeper and then ship things without breaking them wouldn’t have been cost effective.
Instead, I finally gave in and used Aldrich’s card to stock his kitchen the right way.
I still tried to bargain but for some items I just had my Freedman’s shopper source what I wanted and put it on my account.
That lady was going to get a huge commission check for the next few months with everything she’d been locating for me.
“Not you going all Nivea on them folks.” I laughed as I stirred the lobster bisque that was simmering on the stove. This lunch was my way of telling her congratulations on her accomplishments but keeping it small enough so that she didn’t have to be on any longer than she already had been today.
She grinned with a look on her face that she’d happily catch a charge behind her Bam. “And will. People got a lot to say but now that he’s making waves they’re starting to think he should level up to someone else.”
My mouth dropped open as I looked her up and down. Face was flawless, body was enviable, and the bank account was next level. “Girl, who’s supposed to be better than you?”
“Some surgically built social media baddie that’s the new hot girl of the week now that her BBL has settled.” Her words were so oddly specific I knew that a chick just like that had tried to slide in Anthony’s DMs after his performance yesterday.
“I heard those things stink. Nobody wants to risk that and mess up a beautiful thing with you.” I didn’t need to reassure her because that was Anthony’s job. But just like she was giving me good advice I was going to do the same with her.
“I wouldn’t know but I’ve heard plenty of people telling me I should get one to keep him.”
Okay, now I was pissed. “You've gotta be kidding.”
“Nope. Your mom fucked with your head the same way mine did with me. Both of our mamas were too worried about their ideal body types instead of understanding who we were as individuals. I enjoy being in shape. Like having muscles instead of little spaghetti arms that can only hold a twenty-five centimeter designer bag if it’s empty.
But that’s not good enough for her.” Aphrodite rolled her eyes as she had some of the spinach dip I’d prepared.
She said it was one of her favorites so I made it.
I knew her parents had been in New York and I wondered if they’d had something to say to her after her win. She hadn’t mentioned them during any of the acceptance speeches I’d seen her give on Saturday and I was sure they’d taken it some kinda way.
“My mother would be thrilled to have you as a kid instead of the one she got.” Aphrodite looked the part of the type of woman she wanted to claim as her kid.
I started grilling the buttered buns on the flat-top griddle so that I could finish plating our meal.
I’d made lobster rolls with two kinds of homemade chips, the lobster bisque from the lobster shells and a spinach and kale salad.
I knew she thought I was doing too much but I enjoyed entertaining now that I had people I actually wanted to be around. Funny how that worked.
Aphrodite sat back in the heavy-duty leather chairs that we’d picked for the island in the kitchen.
“No, she wouldn’t. Your mother picks at you because she finds fault within herself.
Not to be in your business but with the way Money looks like he’s trying to put a baby in you I doubt that man has an issue at all with your looks.
And if he did he’d be blind and dumb because you’re stunning. ”
“The craziest part about it is that my mother made me feel like eating like a bird was the way to go. But watching Aldrich eat and talking to him had me ignoring her voice in my head and actually using the knowledge I have to be healthy. We work out together and I like feeling better. I know I look better but I don’t desire to be skinny.
Having a regular schedule where I wasn’t basically starving myself and actually moving my body and lifting weights has helped.
I didn’t do it to please anyone, it was just a change he suggested and I actually agreed with it. But it’s still messing with me.”
“That you’ve changed and yet people still have shit to say that’s negative?
” She was smiling but it was one of commiseration and I knew that despite the feats she’d reached in her career, there would still be folks trying to say she’d gotten lucky.
I’m sure her hatting ass daddy would be at the top of those voices trying to knock her down.
“Yeah. Like I didn’t do that for them but dang I made improvements and folks still talking shit.”
Aphrodite sipped champagne from the baroque-style flute as a devilish look crossed her face. “Even more reason to stop giving a fuck.”
“More than my vanity issues I don’t want people talking about me and my place in Ami’s life.
The worst thing is what they’re saying about me.
Nobody knew who I was besides me just being the nanny.
And then they started saying all the stuff about me using her to get to him and that’s hurtful because—”
She glanced at the video monitor that was over Ami’s crib. She’d gone down peacefully about fifteen minutes ago so I knew I’d be able to finish lunch before she got up. “That’s your damn baby; fuck them people.”
“I know. But I guess without him saying anything to anyone it’s got me feeling insecure in my position.”
“Don’t tell him that.”
I looked up from the finishing touches I was putting on her plate and my surprise had to be clear. I hadn’t expected her to tell me to hide how I was feeling from Aldrich at all. “Why not you think it’ll make him mad?”
“I think it’ll have him getting Bobby to issue statements that will make you feel better but will let the vultures know they got to you. And then they won’t stop.”
I extended her plate to her and she took it with a grin as she danced in her seat.
I moved both baskets of chips, one barbecue flavored and the other salt and vinegar, to the spot in between our seats.
I sat my plate in front of my seat before handing over the cups with the bisque inside.
“You’re right. I’d thought of that but I don’t know… I don’t know what to do to be real.”
I walked around the countertop and sat down in the seat next to her. She squeezed my hand trying to comfort me as much as she could.
“Be happy. That’s the one thing I knew I had to do.
If this thing with Anthony was going to be a season or a lifetime either way I was going to be happy.
He makes me happy. Sees me. Roots for me.
To be seen by someone is to be loved to the very depths of your soul and I’d heard that but I had never experienced it.
I have now and I won’t ever settle for less than that. Not even from Bam.”
“That makes a lot of sense so I can’t even argue with your logic.”
“Good. Then we can get to this food because it looks amazing.” She picked up one of the chips and bit into it with a nod. “See, I can’t bring Bam’s ass here.”
“Why not? It’s not good?”
“No, it’s good as fuck and my ass doesn’t cook. Won’t even pretend I’m going to do anything more than the basics. Homemade lobster rolls and chips won’t ever be my forte.”
“You’re wild.”