Sterling #2
She grabbed a chip and ate it completely unbothered. “I’m right though. I’ll just have to let him keep touching that thing in the back of my throat so he knows my talents lie elsewhere.”
I almost choked on my champagne when she said that because it was so unexpected. “Aphrodite what in the world?”
She patted her chest apologetically but I knew she meant every damn word. “That’s on me. I have no filter since dealing with that man.”
“I’d imagine. But thanks for the advice. You’re right… I’ll have to develop a thicker skin and let this shit roll off my back. As long as what they say doesn’t mess up home, I’ll ignore it.”
She lifted her flute and I did the same. When they clinked together she smiled, “Now that’s something to drink to.”
“Hey, baby girl.”
I held the phone away from my face because surely the person on my phone wasn’t trying to pretend I hadn’t heard from him since my birthday.
In March. And before that, I hadn’t heard from him since the holidays.
A part of my not giving a fuck was keeping my personal phone on and not hiding behind it being shut off like a little kid.
I was now regretting my choice immensely.
“Dad.”
I was immediately irritated with the way he sounded but the last thing I wanted to do was jump to conclusions.
This week had been stressful enough and trying to parse out other people’s emotions was far too much for me especially when I was taking care of a baby who was currently going through a sleep regression.
I’d taken on the lion's share of parenting because after our first weekend away we had a home game, which only put my relationship with Aldrich further in the spotlight. The team loved the outfit I wore for the first home game: a pair of light-washed, high wasted baggy pants that I had cut up and patched with parts of Money’s jersey.
The 8’s from the shoulder area of his jersey were placed on both back pockets and the letters from his last name were going down one pants leg.
I’d kept it casual and worn royal blue and white designer sneakers and a white t-shirt that I had blinged out with a royal blue money sign.
The Desperados logo showed everyone that my presence wasn’t a fluke and the reporters immediately started to dig harder into my background.
Which had apparently opened up this current can of worms that was now on my line.
The last month had been a whirlwind of people trying to speak on our relationship and many nights I had to keep Aldrich calm from going off.
But we’d gotten to a point where we both did our best to ignore what people said.
Aldrich had continued to perform despite people talking about us.
His most amazing play so far had to be the first home game when they thought they had him on the ground but he used a defender’s body to springboard himself upright and score.
I’d gone hoarse screaming in the box and was so happy I’d put Ami’s headphones on her.
Our house was joyful but the person on the line might try to put a dent in that resolve.
“I’ve been seeing you a lot in the news lately. Didn’t even realize that you were in Texas for a job.” His tone sounded like he wanted to put the burden on me for his not knowing anything about me. That ship sailed years ago.
“I am. I’ve been here since the spring.” I moved around the kitchen getting the rest of the food in the pan as I waited on him to make whatever his reasons or calling clear.
Practice was over and I knew Aldrich wouldn’t stay for film sessions tonight since it was Wednesday.
He would want to come home since they would be traveling out of town this weekend and Ami and I weren’t going to make it to the game.
I’d already gotten permission to have a few people over to watch the game here, which he damn near cussed me out for asking, but it still felt weird to have free rein of his house but Aldrich insisted.
“Dang, has it been that long already? That’s crazy.”
Again, I felt heat move up my spine because something about how he was speaking made me feel as though he were prodding me for information.
I wondered if he and my mother had spoken again since I had iced her out.
They hadn’t said a cordial word to one another in almost seventeen years but now I had to wonder. The enemy of my enemy after all…
“We don’t really talk that often, Dad. Especially not after the holidays and my birthday.
We knock those out by March so I’m not really surprised.
” I leaned against the counter my eyes darting to the baby monitor seeing that Ami was still sleeping peacefully after all the hell she gave me this morning.
“Maybe we need to change that.”
He sounded hopeful, something he hadn’t ever been and now I was sure something dire was going on. “Why?”
“Why what?” He had the nerve to sound offended that I had questions about why we needed to change the state of our relationship.
“Why would we need to change how things are? They’ve been like this for almost two decades so I don’t get the need to change it now.
” I felt like he was going to ask me for a kidney or a lobe of my lung or to see if I was a bone marrow match.
Whatever he needed it made my insides feel gross.
Like I was living the adult version of stranger danger but with my parents.
Stick up for yourself once, and suddenly the carefully ordered avoidance of your life starts to unravel. Was I too old to be running away? Yes. But they were also too old to be bothering me so maybe this shit was hereditary.
“You’re my daughter—”
“You have another, as I remember. And a stepdaughter too.” I wasn’t even bothered by his second family because he at least left me alone. He left me alone with a madwoman but I always felt like it was one less person to manage. So where was this sudden change coming from?
“And you think somehow that means you don’t matter?”
I had to chuckle at the way he was trying to worm into my psyche but I had the multiple tens of thousands of dollars of psych bills to prove I had the ability to maneuver through this situation.
“Your actions would say that they don’t.
I’m fine how we are right now. It’s the best relationship I have with a parent and there’s no need to rock the boat of how things are.
I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now.
” I turned down the heat on the food I’d cooked so that it could simmer.
It wasn’t at all cold outside but being from up north, soup season started in September no matter what.
And I had a taste for chowder so we were going to have it.
“Too busy for your old man?” He was laughing it off but I could hear the frustration at my not dropping everything to fawn over him. I’d always wondered how he had gotten wrapped up in my mother but now I wondered if they were just the same type of person.
“You’ve been too busy for me for over fifteen years.
I didn’t complain about missed visitation, swallowed down the disappointment when you couldn’t make recitals, meets, and games.
Now that I’m a fully grown adult what is the issue with wanting to build a bridge without actually talking about anything?
Like the last fifteen-plus years haven’t happened.
” I worked my jaw and evened out my breathing because I wasn’t about to ruin years worth of dental work clenching my teeth in frustration.
“What is it that you want to talk about?” He was opening a door that I had ten locks on because it was no longer relevant to me.
“What is the reason you’re calling me?” That was the only information that I needed him to provide me because it was all I cared about.
“Why do you think—”
“Because, Dad. I’m not a child thinking that you are blindly reaching out to reconnect without wanting something.
You seem to forget that although my mother is ruthless she’s also shrewd.
That’s one of her traits I’m glad I got.
I can spot bullshit a mile away. Now, we can either speak plainly or we can get off the phone.
It’s up to you.” I folded my arms feeling the need to protect myself.
I was still dressed in the sports bra and sweatpants that I’d worn to walk on the treadmill.
“I noticed that you’re running around with that guy, I’d like to meet him. Maybe come and see how you’re living to make sure he’s treating you right. Bring your siblings down—”
I had to smother my laughter because I wasn’t about to be disrespectful anymore than I already had. It would only make him think he needed to continue the conversation and I wasn’t in the mood. “So you want to mooch. The answer is no.”
“Ster—”
I stood up from the countertop I’d been leaning on because this had truly sent me over the edge.
“Nope. This conversation is over so I’m going to go.
I have a little one to look after. The one you know about, since you’re apparently trying to keep tabs on me now.
More than when I was a kid and actually needed it.
And to think you want to have a conversation with Aldrich, face-to-face mind you, when you haven’t even seen me in two years.
And the last time it was an accident because we were at the same restaurant.
But now you’re eager to make a trip but also bring your entire family with you, is that what I’m hearing?
And I’m sure I would be the person who would front this.
Or even better you would expect Aldrich to do it because he’s got it too, right? ”
“You act as though I didn’t give up a lot when—”