Chapter 14 - Dani
This is a terrible, horrible idea.
The same thoughts linger in my head, repeating again and again, but the heat of him pressed against me, gripping and kissing me like he’s afraid I’ll vanish, along with the way his hips tilt towards mine…it dulls that voice.
It gets snuffed out the moment Nikolai places me on the counter and slots himself between my legs while he devours my mouth, kissing me with the kind of pent-up intensity that can only come from being stuck with someone for too long without doing anything about it.
Now, he’s acting on it, and I don’t want him to stop, regardless of what he’s done.
I want to believe I’m full of enough conviction to not be swayed by something like this, but from the moment I saw him, I knew he was painfully gorgeous. The grief, the trauma, and the lies were stopping me from letting those thoughts get out of hand before, but now, I can’t hold them in.
His hands roam my sides while he kisses me deeply, and when he pulls back a bit like he wants to hesitate or leave room for me to withdraw, I guide him back in and meld my lips with his.
Instinctively, Nikolai leans into it and hums, letting himself feel the swell of my curves.
With a low sound in his throat, he breaks the kiss and moves to my neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses against my skin.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he mutters, continuing his ministrations anyway and not even trying to loosen his hold on me. “I really shouldn’t.”
“I don’t care,” I say quietly, breathless as my eyes slip shut and a shiver moves through me.
He gently bites at my skin with a groan in response before kissing back up. He mumbles against my jaw, “You should care.”
Maybe he has a point, but in this moment, I can’t even pretend like my whole body isn’t awake for him right now, needing his hands on me as if my life depends on it.
When he hovers his lips above mine, I grab the front of his shirt and tug him as close as possible, kissing him hard before I lose my nerve.
I don’t feel like myself right now, being bold and taking what I want, yet I don’t mind it. In all honesty, I don’t want this part of me to go away. It feels like having the audacity of someone far braver, and it’s more liberating than I ever would’ve thought.
Reaching for his hand, I guide it to my chest, and every nerve ending in my body seems to light up at the contact, quietly demanding more.
Nikolai grunts quietly in the kiss, letting himself surrender to it more as he takes over, cupping my breast through my top and bra. He groans again, sliding his fingers beneath the fabric now to feel me directly.
“Dani…” he murmurs, sounding more like a warning wrapped in desire.
A soft moan escapes me the second his thumb brushes against my nipple, and there’s no doubting just how badly I need this now. “I don’t care if this is a bad idea…don’t stop.”
As the words sink in, he lets go of an almost disbelieving breath before he’s kissing me deeply all over again, tasting me without hesitation.
His hands move quickly now, pushing the hem of my top up before discarding it completely. He wastes no time melding our lips together again before he’s guiding me back.
“Then lie back.”
A thrill scurries down my spine at the prospect, and without needing to be told twice, I do exactly that. The countertop is cool against my back, but the feverish way he reaches for my bottoms and guides them down makes me hardly register it.
He’s a flurry of movement, undressing me and pressing his lips to whatever area of skin he can reach. His palms settle on my thighs as he pushes them up while his mouth moves down my stomach.
I squirm in anticipation, breathing slightly heavier now. Warming all over, I feel even more heat in my cheeks from the close attention he gives me, like there’s no place he’d rather be than between my thighs.
“If you don’t want me to stop…” he murmurs, kissing the hem of my panties before continuing even further, breath fanning against the front of me. “Then I’m not going to.”
Without warning, he mouths at me through the thin material, tongue pressing against the heat of me.
I suck in a sharp breath, instinctively tensing at the rush of sensations. Then more pleasant ripples course through me, making me melt even more for him.
Nikolai groans against me, barely holding out long enough before he’s pulling the material to the side and continuing directly. He moves like he’s drunk on me and desperate for even more.
“Jesus Christ,” he utters, devouring me like I’m the best thing he has ever tasted.
The combination of the friction and the dutiful way he works me over is enough to have me reaching for his hair and moaning for him. “Nikolai...”
He growls out another low sound before doubling his efforts and giving me everything he has.
I try so hard to savor every part of it, but I’m getting lost in the overwhelming way he keeps me here, giving me unlimited pleasure all at once. Between his hair and the countertop beneath me, I ground myself as well as I can, all the while he pulls every sound out of me.
Tension coils tighter in my lower stomach as my thighs tremble with the force of it, but he doesn’t let up.
Instead, Nikolai uses his tongue and lips to push me closer to the edge, pinning me effectively so I can’t move out of his grasp even for a moment. He hums as he works, determined to give me everything I need.
Before I know it, I’m arching from the countertop and pulling in sharper breaths as my moans become desperate whimpers. I tug a bit harder on his hair.
“Nikolai—”
His name barely leaves me before I’m reaching the crest, clenching through the first orgasm as it crashes over me. My breath hitches before I shudder, feeling every drop of immediate bliss and the pleasant haze it brings me.
He moans against me while encouraging me through it, softening his touch as I ride it out. Then, he presses gentler kisses to my inner thighs before he moves up my body again.
“Oh my god,” I murmur breathlessly, slowly catching my breath and running a hand over my face.
Nikolai chuckles and slides me even closer, lips hovering above mine again. “Good?”
“Better than good,” I return, catching his lips with mine and feeling his body pressed close again. “But you’re incredibly overdressed.”
The corners of his lips pull faintly at that, and he breaks the kiss long enough to start pulling off his own layers.
When his shirt disappears, and the soft fabric is tossed aside, the true expanse of his chest and shoulders is revealed to me, covered in various tattoos that come down his biceps and mostly end there.
My eyes trace every inch of him, and the sight of his muscled physique, looking more like a warrior than anything else, makes me want him all over again.
Nikolai huffs a faintly amused breath as he undoes his belt, hazel eyes flicking up to meet mine. “Got something to say?”
More warmth spreads through my cheeks, and I scoff to myself. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Nothing at all.”
He grins, kicking his pants off as he draws closer and kisses me again, bracing a hand on the counter while the other edges his boxers down. He murmurs against my mouth, “Good.”
All embarrassment dissolves the moment he has me pressed against him, able to feel every hard plane of his body, and the heat burning through him. I shiver faintly at the brush of his length.
He barely stifles a groan into the kiss, rolling his hips forward to tease us both, and it doesn’t take long for a renewed urgency to settle in.
“You’re sure about this?” Nikolai asks, even while he grinds against me, keeping me right on the edge of losing my mind.
“Yes,” I murmur in return, not hesitating for a moment. I kiss him back while my hands roam him, mapping out every inch of his obvious strength. “Completely sure.”
At my consent, he hums, bringing me as close as he can before parting my thighs a bit more. “Then hold on.”
Pulse thundering now, I grip his bicep and shoulder, feeling as he guides himself, then finds purchase.
My breath catches at the initial push, feeling as I open up for him more. Bracing myself, I let out a soft sound when he goes deeper.
Nikolai grunts with his own tension as he takes me little by little, holding me tight. His forehead drops to mine, and his breath deepens.
“Fuck…” he mumbles, forcing himself to go slowly despite the obvious need to keep moving. Still, he’s careful, using as much restraint as he can.
The moment he’s nestled inside me, one hand gripping my hip while the other braces against the counter, a strange kind of relief flickers through me, then I feel myself almost softening around him.
He takes a deep breath to steady himself, then he captures my lips again and gently rocks his hips.
The new, more intense friction makes me clench around him tighter, forcing a groan from him while his fingers tighten against me, but he keeps going anyway, gradually building a pace.
Our breathing changes at the same time, panting in between messy kisses until he focuses more on his movements. The kitchen feels so much hotter now, and even the cool countertop does nothing to quell the heat.
For as stoic and composed as he usually is, Nikolai’s mask slips more the longer he’s inside me as the sounds leave him unbidden, and he chases after the pleasure just as much as I do.
Cursing under his breath, he puts a hand in the middle of my back and pulls me against him so that nearly every inch of skin is touching, and he ruts deeper like he just can’t help himself.
More brutal pulses of static move through me, and I tighten my hold on him as my hips move to meet his thrusts. I moan against his neck, eyes closed, while it all pulls me under.
Everything about the way he takes me is fast and eager, yet his touch remains careful, like he’s afraid of hurting me.
“You’re killing me,” Nikolai says, just barely above a whisper, sounding more wrecked by the minute.
Every moan and whimper leaves me without warning, and just like before, the tension in my stomach forms even tighter. The familiar pressure builds and builds, and it puts me in such a daze that I can’t even think.
Nikolai’s hand slides between us and finds my dampness, circling against my clit while he kisses my shoulder and neck with a low growl. “Come for me, Dani.”
My name said in that guttural tone is enough to make me tighten around him in response, and I grapple at his neck and shoulders. Everything tangled together pushes me closer to the edge until I’m teetering and focusing on the impending bliss.
Then that resistance snaps, and it hits me.
Thighs trembling, I fall into another orgasm with my back arched, losing all control of my lungs and the rest of my body. Suspended only by him, I feel wave after wave consuming me and easing every last bit of tension from my limbs.
I barely catch as Nikolai curses to himself again, guiding me through it before pulling out and releasing against me with a shaky groan. His head drops to my shoulder while he keeps me there, not letting an inch of space settle between us.
Our panted breaths punctuate the silent kitchen while we slowly come back down, and I focus on his solid presence.
Even if it was a bad idea, deep satisfaction settles into my system, and the ache inside me is more pleasant than it’s ever been, cookies long forgotten.