Chapter 15 - Nikolai
The room is quiet except for the sound of water as steam curls thickly around the glass walls of the shower, softening the edges of everything until the world outside feels irrelevant.
My hands slide carefully along Danielle’s waist as I guide her beneath the spray, her back resting lightly against my chest while warm water runs over both of us.
Neither of us has said much since we stumbled in here, and I’m not entirely sure either of us knows what to say.
Because somehow, somewhere between stolen glances in the kitchen and her teasing me over cookies of all things, I lost what little restraint I still had left. And she lost hers too.
The memory lances through my mind immediately, of her hands gripping my shoulders, the sound she made when I kissed down her throat, and the way she looked at me afterward, flushed, breathless, and wanting more despite every reason not to.
Christ.
My grip tightens slightly against her hips before I force myself to loosen it again.
All of this is crossing the line I was never meant to even approach, and I’ve already stomped all over it. This is exactly what Roman warned me about.
Dani tilts her head back slightly beneath the spray, eyes closed as water slips through her hair. She looks exhausted now, yet soft and vulnerable in a way she hasn’t allowed herself to be around me before.
I expected her to immediately retreat and throw those walls back up again, but surprisingly, she’s letting herself bask in it. She’s comfortable enough to do that, and the realization stitches its way into my chest.
Reaching for the soap instead, I force my attention somewhere safer as I work it between my palms before sliding it carefully along her skin, making sure to be gentle.
She shivers lightly, but not from cold, and my body reacts instantly.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I already had her not that long ago, and somehow it still doesn’t feel like enough.
The urge to turn her around and kiss her again comes hard and immediate, nearly overwhelming in how badly I want it. I can already imagine exactly how she’d sound if I pinned her against the tile and took what I wanted…
But no.
I exhale slowly through my nose and force myself to get a grip.
She’s tired. Hell, I’m tired, and if I keep touching her like this, I’m not stopping. It’s better to cut it off here before I get ahead of myself, regardless of how tempting she feels under my touch.
“You’re thinking too loud,” she murmurs sleepily.
I blink slightly, finding my voice again. “That so?”
“Mhm.”
A faint smile touches my mouth despite myself, and my fingers slide along her stomach slowly. “You planning on elaborating?”
“No,” she says softly. “But whatever it is…you should probably stop before you give yourself a headache.”
I huff out a quiet laugh at that. If only she knew.
Carefully, I rinse the soap from her skin before I let the water rain down on me next, dragging a hand down my face as I try to cool down the thoughts that are getting increasingly difficult to control.
This entire situation has spiraled beyond anything I anticipated.
Danielle was supposed to be temporary. Not that she was something to discard, but because she was a woman I protected when she got caught in the middle of something ugly, and that was supposed to be it.
We were never supposed to get this close, and now she’s in my shower, wearing marks I put on her skin, and I’m standing here wondering how the hell I’m supposed to let her go when the time comes.
Liability or not, I want her more than I should, and not just physically.
That part is obvious enough, but this pull toward her feels deeper than that, and that’s the part throwing me off balance.
I’ve had women before, but none of them ever stayed in my head like this. None of them made me feel calmer yet more out of control at the same time, and none of them looked at me like they could somehow see past all the ugly parts and find something worth staying for.
That’s what Danielle does without even realizing it, and it’s more dangerous than she could possibly know.
Eventually, I shut the water off before I completely lose my mind again, and I wrap a towel around her carefully.
Dani groans quietly in protest, like she doesn’t want to move.
“Tired?”
She gives me a look like I’m stupid for even having to ask.
I snort softly. “Message received.”
By the time we make it back to the bedroom, she’s already half-asleep and leaning more weight against me than she probably realizes, but I don’t mind. I guide her carefully onto the bed before pulling the blankets over both of us once our towels are discarded.
The room is dim except for the low bedside lamp casting warmth across the sheets, and Danielle curls instinctively toward me the second she settles, her hand resting lightly against my chest, more like she belongs there.
The thought hits suddenly enough to unsettle me, and I can’t even begin to unpack it.
Brushing damp hair back from her face quietly, I study her while her eyes drift heavier and heavier.
“You’re staring,” she murmurs.
“Can you blame me?”
A sleepy smile tugs at her mouth. “I definitely can.”
“Then blame me all you want. I can take it.”
Her cheeks flush faintly before she hides part of her face against the pillow under the guise of getting more comfortable.
She looks…cute.
Christ. That word alone should concern me, and to some degree, it does.
But a few minutes later, her breathing evens out completely, and soon enough, she’s asleep.
Instead of joining her, I stay awake, watching her and how the tension finally leaves her body for the first time since I met her.
She looks peaceful like this, safe and completely unguarded.
Before I can stop it, an ugly instinct twists in my chest at the realization that I’m the reason she lost that peace to begin with.
Maybe not directly, but still, if I hadn’t gotten involved…
But no, I know that’s not true. If I hadn’t gotten involved, she’d be dead, and the thought hardens instantly inside me.
Whatever mistakes I’ve made since then, I’d still make the same choice again. Every damn time, as long as it means knowing she’s alive, and she still has the chance to live her life regardless of what has been taken away.
Shifting slightly onto my back, I stare up at the ceiling while Dani sleeps against my side, all warmth and gentle presence.
I need to figure this out.
From the operation, Malenkov and Volodin, to my family and her future. All of it.
She deserves better than being trapped in limbo inside my house while enemies circle around us, and she deserves something normal.
Regardless of what it costs me, somewhere along the line, I started wanting to give it to her.
***
My phone vibrating against the nightstand drags me out of a light sleep hours later, and before I’m fully awake, I reach for it, preventing the second ring from waking Danielle.
Through bleary vision, I catch Ruslan’s name, and I slide carefully out of bed, then step into the hallway before answering.
“What?”
Ruslan doesn’t waste time, thankfully. “We caught movement.”
Every trace of exhaustion disappears from my body immediately, and I dial in to the implication. “Where?”
“One of Malenkov’s men was spotted on the strip an hour ago,” he says. “Another was seen southbound along the outskirts.”
My jaw tightens. “They’re regrouping already?”
“It looks like it. I don’t imagine hiding out is good for business.”
Leaning against the hallway wall, I take a breath and force down the urge to lose my head over this.
Fumbling the plan by taking Dani was one thing, and having their operations on hold for the time being was a more positive outcome, but now, they’re wasting no time. They’re back at it far sooner than I anticipated.
“And Volodin?”
“He was seen entering one of their old clinics yesterday morning,” he murmurs, well aware of what that means.
So they’re rebuilding already. That’s bold, even for someone as advantageous as they are.
“Some of their people have been spotted near your family’s turf,” Ruslan adds. “Closer than usual.”
Ice slides down my spine instantly, as that is too close to home for my liking.
It isn’t random, then. This has to be intentional.
I stare into the darkness of the hallway as anger builds quickly beneath my ribs.
They know…or at least they know enough. Somehow, my identity got back to them, and they’re hoping to use it against me.
Maybe it was through surveillance, or an associate that might’ve recognized me somehow, but either way, it doesn’t matter now.
If Malenkov knows who I am, then Danielle becomes a target all over again, and that’s the last thing I’m willing to accept.
My hand tightens around the phone hard enough for my knuckles to protest. “Have they made direct contact?”
“No.”
“Any moves toward the house?”
“Not yet.”
Yet.
I don’t even like leaving that possibility open.
Glancing back toward the bedroom door instinctively, I picture Dani still asleep inside, probably unaware that the danger surrounding her has just renewed all over again.
“Keep monitoring,” I say coldly. “I want eyes on every known associate, every building, and every shipment. If Malenkov’s rebuilding operations in our territory, I want to know before he assumes he’s safe.”
“You thinking retaliation?”
“I’m thinking if he’s stupid enough to test boundaries, then he’ll win himself stupid prizes.”
Ruslan exhales slowly. “This must be about the girl, then.”
“Most likely.”
Maybe that isn’t the entire reason, but it’ll be enough.
Malenkov lost product, money, and surely leverage. If he does know who interfered, then he’ll want to send a message, just like they always do.
Over my dead body.
“You want extra security at the house?” Ruslan asks.
“Yes,” I answer without question. “Arrange it quietly. I don’t want unnecessary movement.”
“Done and done.”
Rubbing a hand over my jaw, my mind already moving ahead, fluttering between plans, contingencies, and inevitable damage control.
Everything just became more complicated all over again.
“Get some sleep while you can,” Ruslan says finally, earning himself a humorless huff from me.
“Unlikely.”
After ending the call, I stay in the hallway for another minute and stare into nothing while tension coils tighter beneath my skin.
Then I look back toward the bedroom again, toward Dani, and I know that regardless of whatever this is between us, or whatever she’s becoming to me, no part of me is prepared to let her fall into their hands.