Chapter 12
HARDY
Bella
I’ve got a whole week of festivities planned for you, so I hope you’re ready!
Ismile as I read Bella’s text. She’s used at least a dozen emojis, and not all of them are Christmas or winter related. Some of them look suspect, and I get nervous as I try to decipher them.
Wait. Are the emojis the activities we’re doing?
Ding ding ding
I’m having trouble figuring out what they all mean
Guess
Do I have to?
Such a grinch. It’s more fun that way!
I shake my head, but I can’t stop grinning.
In just a month, this woman has become a huge part of my life, and I need to spend more time with her once the holidays are over.
Would she keep seeing me? Do I want that?
Would Avery be okay with it? Guilt picks at my brain, and I shove it away as I try to figure out her plans for the week.
So, ice-skating? Building a snowman?
Yup. Yup.
I skip over the ones in the middle, focusing on the obvious ones.
Shopping and wrapping gifts?
[gif of Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation saying “Bingo.”]
What is that third one? I know the next two
It’s ginger
Gingerbread house!
See, this is fun, isn’t it?
It’d be easier if you just told me
[gif of the grinch smiling.]
Are we visiting Santa?
Maybe?
That’s vague
My hope is that Santa will be coming
Is that a chestnut?
It is
Please tell me we aren’t roasting them over an OPEN FIRE? You do remember I’m a firefighter
Actually, it was code for something else…
That’s one activity
I stare at the string of emojis for several minutes trying to figure out its meaning. But I come up empty.
Okay finger pointing at sparkly nuts?
OMG
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That’s even better than what I had planned!
What did you have planned?
Let’s just say there’s a certain adult activity that I would enjoy doing with you
Are you saying you want to ride this cock until I nut in you?
Fuck, I love it when you talk dirty to me
You kinda did the work for me on that one
Not to change the subject, because I could talk about what I want to do to you all day, but you know what tomorrow is, right?
December 1?
It’s that magical day that Sprinkle McPinkle Pants returns
FML
No worries. Where did you hide it last year?
It’s in my closet, tucked in an old pair of running shoes
Gross. You might need to air him out
You’re probably right
Actually, this might work. We could do a scene that leans into the stink
As long as it doesn’t involve Isaac’s poop. I’ve seen enough of that to last a lifetime
Amen to that
I’m going to send you some ideas
Do you have a can of air freshener?
I think so
Do you have a printer and some tape? What about some treats? Usually when the elf returns, they have a note, and they bring treats
Why are there so many fucking rules?
I’m not the one who invented it! And I’m with you on the anti-elf stance. The only reason I do it in my classroom is because it’s not worth the drama to skip it
I hate this
Want to come over tomorrow and I can show you some tricks? It might be good to plan out some elf scenes, so we don’t double up
I can stop by your classroom after school tomorrow
That works, that’s safe. We won’t be tempted to strip each other down at the school. As long as we stay away from the PTO closet, we’ll be good.
Okay. I can have Isaac hang out with Avery in after-school care and we’ll make an elf plan!
Could I borrow Isaac today?
Sure!
Don’t you want to know what for?
Nah. I’m sure it’s above board. I trust you
I’m going to do the movie night for Avery
He’d love to help you get everything ready. But you need to pick up movie snacks. And supplies so you can do the elf tonight. Actually, I can send the leftover snacks from our movie night. We didn’t eat much
I seem to remember differently. I’m pretty sure you had your mouth full that night
You know, you’re right. And you did make a meal out of my cunt. We should definitely do that again
Wait, is that what the Santa emoji was before the others? You want to do that in a Santa suit?
I was waiting for you to catch on to that.
But I’ll be naked, you’ll be in the Santa suit
Jesus
An hour later there’s a knock on my door and when I open it, Isaac is peering back at me, his arms full of bags as he stands on my porch alone. “Where’s your mom?”
“She dropped me off, said she had to run an errand. Something about finding a Santa suit. I don't know.”
I usher him in the house, and he hands me a note.
Hardy,
Isaac will help you set up everything you need to make this special.
Put the projector in the living room and put all the blankets and pillows you have on the floor.
Make it feel like a giant bed. And let her eat her snacks in there too.
I know you’re a stickler for eating at the table, but let her make a mess, even if it makes your eye twitch.
(Then toss the blankets in the wash.) I promise you she will remember this for years to come.
Also, there’s a separate bag for the elf with instructions in it, and I included several ideas you can use this week in case we run out of time to plan. I’ll be back in an hour to grab Isaac.
Bella
I look up at Isaac, but he’s already emptied out the bags onto the table and pulled out several paper plates.
“You’ve done this before?” I ask, amazed at his efficiency.
“We do movie nights all the time. Though I’m still trying to get her to let me watch some rated-R movies.”
“Sounds about right.” I run a hand along my jaw. “Think we can get all this set up in an hour?”
“Easily. Do you have a laptop? Or an HDMI cord?”
“Laptop, yes. Not sure about that other thing,” I say, walking over to my work bag to pull out my computer.
“It’s cool, I brought an extra just in case,” he says, digging through his backpack. He scans the room. “Can I hook into those speakers?” he asks, pointing at my surround sound setup. I remember having to bribe Mike to come over and set it up for me right after I moved in.
“Yep. I’m not sure what all the cords go to though, so I don’t think I’ll be able to reconnect everything when we’re done.”
“I can swing by and reset it for you, or I can text you a video with instructions.”
“That would be great. Your mom has my number so whatever works, as long as you dumb it down for me. No naming HQBI cords, just say the red cord plugs into this spot.”
I watch as he sits on the couch, boots everything up, and has an image projected on my empty wall in minutes. “You’re really good at all that computer stuff, huh?”
He shrugs as he continues tapping the keys. “I got into it because of my dad.”
“Is he in the tech field?”
“No? Kinda. He runs his own company. When he and my mom were together, he was always at work, and I’d hear him complain about the guys running his app and how they ‘didn’t know what they’re doing.’ I figured if I could learn about it and fix it for him, he’d be home more.”
This poor kid just wanted his father’s attention, and it reminds me of my own failures with Avery.
I’ve got to do better. I don’t want her starting fires in hopes that I’ll show up and be around more.
I doubt she’d go that far, but given our past and her grief, anything is possible when I’m all she has left.
Isaac huffs, his breath blowing the strands of his floppy, dirty-blond hair out of his face.
“Don’t tell my mom, but my dad’s kind of a dick.
All he cares about is work, and he’s never around on his weekends.
I mean, he buys me stuff and that’s cool, but it’s so boring at his place.
And he’s dating this new chick, so when he is around, he’s spending time with her. ”
“He leaves you alone at his house?”
“No, there’s usually staff there, or he just shoves an iPad at me, and they go hang out in another wing of the house. I might as well be home alone.”
And here I am taking up all his mom’s time and attention. “I’m sorry, man,” I start, but trail off, not sure what I’m apologizing for. His shitty situation with his dad, or the fact that I’m stealing his mom’s focus from him.
“It’s not your fault.” He shrugs again as he plugs in the last cord, and the opening song to The Grinch filters through the speakers.
“Did your mom tell you to pick that one?” I try to hide the smile on my face.
“Yeah, she said it was important that you ‘watch the movie of your people?’ I dunno. She’s weird.”
“That sounds like her,” I say.
“Are you guys dating?” he asks, abruptly changing the subject.
I open and shut my mouth several times, unsure how to answer his question.
Bella and I haven’t discussed what we are.
I would love to date her, but I don’t know if the school would allow it.
But we’ve already violated any rules that may exist after the other night.
And I haven’t talked to Avery about it yet either.
“It’s okay if you are. You don’t have to hide it,” he says.
“It’s not that we’re hiding anything, we just haven’t discussed it yet.”
“But it’s more than just a school project?”
“It is. I think? I want it to be, but it’s complicated.”
“I think you make her happier. And I like it when she’s happy,” he admits.
“Because you’re hoping she’ll let you watch rated-R movies?”
He laughs. “Think I could get you to plead my case?”
“Already trying to pit us against each other.” I shake my head in mock frustration.
“Gotta keep all my options open.” He smiles as the music stops and points to the screen. “All you have to do is pull up your streaming service here, and it will project the whole screen onto the wall. Just click this to make it full screen and that’s it.”
“Seems easy enough.”
“We could watch something now, before she gets back.” His voice is teasing, but there’s a hint of hope there.
“Nice try.” I move the mouse around, following the steps he gave as I get another movie to play.
“See, you got it. I guess old people can learn new tricks.”
“That’s not how the saying goes.”
“Close enough.”
We sit there in awkward silence as the opening sequence to The Polar Express plays.
“You would be okay if I did date your mom?” I ask cautiously, his earlier words floating in my head about his dad’s new girlfriend stealing his focus away. The last thing I want to do is make this kid feel like he’s got no one in his corner.
“Yeah. I think she likes you. I hear her talk about you a lot to her friends.”
That warms my heart more than it should.
“I want you to know that you come first to your mom. No matter what, you are her priority.”
“I know I am, but I don’t need her hovering all the time. So, if you want to take her out on dates, I’m cool with that.”
“I know we’ve been hanging out a lot the last month with all this Santa stuff, but I don’t want you to feel like she doesn’t have time for you, though. I know you just said you feel that way at your dad’s. I won’t tell her about that, but I also don’t want to put you in that same position.”
“Totally not the same.”
I wait for him to say more, but when he doesn’t, I lift a brow at him.
“My dad has always been like that. I’ve always had to fight for his attention. Not Mom. In fact, I could use a little less of hers sometimes. I have a life too, and I want to hang out with my friends. But I know she loves me.”
“He may have a shitty way of showing it, but I’m sure your dad loves you too.”
He shrugs again. “He loves the idea of having a kid and having someone to hand his business to one day. It’s not the same.”
My stomach twists at his words, and I try to school the expression on my face. Concern for him, but also worry over Avery looking at our relationship like that one day.
“I wish I had a dad like you.”
My head whips in his direction.
“Look at everything you’re doing for Avery. My dad would never go through all of this for me. But my mom would. And if you’d do all this for Avery, you’d do all this for my mom, and she deserves someone like that.”
——————
Later that night, Avery is tucked against me as we lay on the blankets and pillows on the living room floor. There’s popcorn and crumbs everywhere. She spilled two sodas before I put it in an old sippy cup I found buried in the cabinets. And I spend more time watching her than I do the movie.
Once the credits roll, we gather up the blankets and take them outside to shake off the crumbs on the porch before I throw them in the washer. Avery’s just finished brushing her teeth when she walks into her room and climbs into her bed where I’m waiting for her.
“Did you have fun, baby girl?”
“Yup!” she says through a yawn. I sit there, stroking her hair, deliberating how to talk to her about Bella.
“What do you think about Daddy having a girlfriend?” I ask, and when I see her brows furrow, I tack on, “One day.”
“Does that mean I have to share you with someone else like the fire people?”
Something cracks in my chest at her words, and I know what I have to do, even if the thought of it hurts more than anything has in quite a while.