Chapter 13
BELLA
On Monday morning before class starts, Avery comes running up to me full of excitement.
“Miss Carlisle, guess what we did yesterday!”
“I don’t know, what did you do?” I totally played that off, I think to myself.
“My daddy made a movie theater in my house, and we had candy and popcorn, and he let me have the fizzy soda.”
“That’s amazing, Avery. What movie did you watch?”
“We watched The Santa Clause.”
“That’s a good one.” My heart somersaults in my chest at her words. Not only did he listen to my lesson, but he immediately took action for her. Fuck, do I love a man with follow-through. I mean, like. I like him. I really fucking like him. But not love. It’s way too soon for that. Right?
There’s commotion from across the room, and we turn in that direction.
“They’re back! Look, they’re back!” Cade squeals.
It’s the first of December, which means my shelf is now the home of two little elves, one boy and one girl.
And after a lively debate, the class settled on Jingles McTwinkles and Bubbly Sparklepants.
Don’t ask me whose name belongs to who. Several students start arguing over who gets to take the elves home, and I clap my hands to get their attention.
“I was thinking that since we only have three weeks before winter break and there are more of you than there are weeknights, we could divide and conquer.”
“We can’t split them up!” Micah shouts, and I let out a resigned sigh, knowing this is going to derail my lesson plan for the day.
“Can we come up with our own elf names?” Penny asks.
“We already named our elves,” I say.
She shakes her head. “No, I mean for us. Like we have our name and our elf name.”
“I want an elf name!” Micah shouts.
“Me too!” Cade adds.
Pretty soon, the whole class is whining for an elf name, and I decide, fuck it, this is how we’re spending the rest of our day.
I quickly print out some holiday coloring sheets and disperse them as kids come up one by one, and I look up possible elf names that are unique to each of their personalities.
When it’s Avery’s turn, she walks over with a nervous look on her face.
“Ready to pick out your elf name?” I ask.
She nods, and I turn back to my computer.
“First, I’m going to look up the meaning of your name so we can find one that suits you best.” I stifle a laugh when I find out the meaning of Avery.
Ruler of the elves. This is perfect. And then it hits me.
No wonder she was so upset when her elf didn’t show up last year.
“Do you know what your name means?”
“I’m the ruler of the elves.” Something pinches in my chest at the pained look on her face. “Mommy used to call me ‘Elf Princess.’ It was her secret nickname for me. Daddy doesn’t know.” Her hands clench at her sides like she’s trying to squeeze back the tears with her fists.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“I need a hug, but you always say that’s not allowed. But you hugged me at my house, and my body feels like it needs a hug.” Her voice is small as she fidgets with her hands.
“We’re not supposed to, but I think one hug will be okay,” I say, pulling her against me. I try to make it a quick one, but she refuses to let go.
“I miss my mommy.”
Something cracks in my chest at her words. This is the first time I’ve seen the broken little girl grieving her mom, and I’m reminded more than ever how important my Santa lessons are.
——————
School is almost out for the day, and I head down the hallway to pick up my class from their elective when I spot a tall, dark, and handsome firefighter.
“Hey, you’re early. I thought we were meeting after school?” I say as I try my best not to check him out. You’re at work. His daughter’s school. Behave.
“I’m working some earlier shifts this week, so I thought I’d come up here and knock out some of the construction.
Think Isaac would want to help?” he asks.
There’s something off about his tone and demeanor, but I chalk it up to us being at the school.
It’s not like we could just start groping each other here.
That would be inappropriate, even if it’s taking everything in me not to do just that.
“Power tools aren’t really his thing. But he could design you anything on a computer.”
“I’ll keep that in mind for future projects,” he says with a mischievous smile. I wonder what that’s about?
“I wanted to tell you about something that happened in class today. We were coming up with elf names, and Avery got upset about a nickname her mom used to call her and mentioned missing her mom.”
He drags a hand through his stubble. “Shit, is she okay?”
“I think so, but I wanted to let you know.”
“What was the nickname?”
“I found out her name means ‘ruler of the elves’ and she told me her mom used to call her Elf Princess. It might explain why she got so upset about her elf not showing up.”
He mouths “Fuck” as he tugs on his neck and drops his eyes, a war of emotions on his face. “I messed up more than I realized.”
“It’s okay, we can fix this. You have me.”
His eyes flick up to mine, and he raises his eyebrows. “I’m really glad I went to that PTO meeting,” he says.
“Well, I’m glad Lefty decided to introduce herself to you, but I could’ve done without the bladder infection.”
He chuckles, his gaze roaming down to my chest.
“I also learned that your name means ‘bold’ or ‘brave,’ by the way, and I thought it was very fitting for you, considering what you do,” I say.
“You looked up my name?” he asks, as the corner of his mouth lifts.
“I looked up a lot of names,” I say, suddenly full of nervous energy. Why do I want to impress him so much?
The office door opens behind him and a student walks out, breaking the moment.
Hardy hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m going to get started before school lets out. Are we still meeting in your room after?”
“Actually, I thought I might take Avery shopping to cheer her up and pick up something for your next Santa lesson. Can Isaac hang out with you for a little bit?”
“He can. Let me give you some money so you can get what you need.” He reaches for his wallet and hands me a wad of cash.
Fanning out the bills, I decide to have a little fun with him. I can tell something is up. It feels like he’s pulling back from our connection, and I’m determined to loosen him up. “Hmm, the pet food might cost a little more.”
He quirks a brow. “I don’t like the sound of that. I want it on record that I’m opting out of pets on our Santa tier.”
I shake my head in laughter. “Noted.” And then I walk off as he shouts behind me.
“Bella? Seriously, no pets. Not even a goldfish!”
I wave a hand in the air as I head down the hall. Once the bell rings, and the last student leaves my room, I get Avery’s booster seat out of Hardy’s truck and load her up in my car.
We’re off to get gingerbread supplies at the Chestnut Mountain Market. We walk through the aisles as Avery excitedly weighs her options between glitter sprinkles and Christmas tree-shaped ones.
“I think we should go with the glitter since it will make the house pop.”
“Can we make trees for the house too?” Avery asks, with the biggest, roundest eyes I’ve ever seen. How does Hardy say no to this?
“What would we use?”
She rubs at her jaw the same way I’ve seen Hardy do a few times, and it sets off butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him.
“We could use an ice cream cone. The pointy kind and glue the tree sprinkles to it.”
“I think that’s an excellent idea!”
We spend way too much time in the candy and baking aisles, and it’s nearly dark when we leave the store.
Headed back to your house now. You and Isaac on your way?
He’s helping me clean up now, then we’re out the door
You’ve got a good one
My mama heart warms at the praise. Isaac and I may have an unconventional relationship, full of oversharing and shenanigans, but I love that kid and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
We pull into Hardy’s driveway within minutes of each other, and the boys help us carry all our bags inside.
“Jeez, Mom. Did you buy the whole store?”
Hardy offers me a grateful smile. I’m determined to make this a memorable experience for him and Avery, and I hope he can see that in my face and in the multiple shopping bags on his kitchen table.
It’s a team effort as we dump all the contents onto the table and begin organizing ingredients.
“Gingerbread houses?” Hardy asks.
“Yeah, you got a problem with them?”
“No, I’m just surprised you use the kits. You strike me as the kind of person that would bake all that from scratch.”
“Gingerbread is trash. These are for decoration, not eating. There is no point in spending all that time baking to not eat it after. It’s also why we’re making them so early. The Christmas cookie session will come closer to Christmas,” I whisper the last part, so Avery doesn’t hear.
“I like gingerbread,” Avery says.
“Then you can eat yours if your dad says it’s okay. But go wash your hands before we get started. You too, Isaac.”
Isaac grumbles as he follows Avery into the bathroom.
“She’s gonna fill up on all the candy we use to decorate and won’t have room for the house or the trees. That’s why I always stock up on extra beyond what the kits come with, because eating the decorations is half the fun.”
“I’m learning so much,” he says with a small smirk.
An hour later, we’re all a sticky, sugar-glitter covered mess, but Avery has done nothing but laugh and smile the whole time. Even my sullen teenager has gone out of his way to make sure Avery has everything she needs.
“I saw you give Avery that Kit Kat,” I say out of the corner of my mouth when she’s distracted.
He shrugs. “She needed more for her roof.”
“It was the last one, and it’s your favorite candy. It was nice, thank you.”
“Shhh, you’ll ruin my street cred.”
“I think that went out the window when you were counting pubes.”
He turns away, ignoring my jab, but I see the corner of his mouth quirk briefly into a smile.
Hardy proudly holds up his house, and as soon as he does, it collapses in on itself and he drops it onto the counter with a thud. “Son of a b—”
“Daddy!”
“Sorry, Avery.”
“Need some help over there?” I tease.
“I can build a whole freaking workshop from scratch with my bare hands, but I can’t figure out the right icing ratio to glue cookies together,” he huffs.
It’s obvious he’s getting worked up, so I walk over to him and place a hand on his upper back, rubbing small circles as I lower my voice so only he can hear. “You’re doing an amazing job, Hardy. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Avery hasn’t stopped smiling this whole time.”
“Really? Now I feel like an ass because I was too focused on my house to notice. There are too many distractions. My focus should be on her,” he huffs, and a knot of emotion forms in my throat, trying not to read deeper into his words.
“She doesn’t expect perfection from you, just your presence. The important thing is you’re doing it together. That’s what matters.”
“I’m not good at this,” he admits.
“No parent is. We just figure it out along the way and hope we don’t fuck up our kid too bad in the process.”
He chuckles and then leans against the sink, dropping his head as he blows out a breath.
Once he collects himself, we start cleaning up the mess as the kids wash up and plop onto the couch to watch TV.
I watch as Avery slowly climbs along the couch until she’s snuggled into Isaac’s side.
I elbow Hardy and tilt my head toward them.
I swear there’s a twinkle in his eye when he watches them, but he shakes it off and continues cleaning up the kitchen.
Something’s changed in the last few days, and I can feel him pulling away. I try not to let it bother me, but it’s the last thought in my brain as I drift off to sleep that night.