Chapter 10 Jasper #4
"That's a decision you own?" I asked as his hand traveled up my belly, settled on the underside of my breasts. "All yours?"
"Yeah. It is."
It wasn't only my thoughts gone blurry now but all of me, every eyelash, every centimeter of skin, every muscle that couldn't decide whether to clench or melt.
"For as much as I want you"—he ran his knuckles over my pebbled nipple, tearing a gusty sigh from me in the process—"tonight's not the night, Peach."
With all the severity I could muster, I asked, "And what has led you to that determination?"
He passed his knuckles over me again, catching that nipple between the joints of his middle and index fingers when he reversed course. He clamped down—and didn't release. "Because you need your rest. It's been a long day and you've been through a lot."
"Excuse me but—"
"I'm not hearing it. The fire was enough, but everything else? Not happening. You need to get the shadows out of your eyes."
"And my divorce official?" There I was, fixer extraordinaire, negotiating with the man pinching my nipple so hard I could feel my pulse throbbing in my core.
His beard rasped the back of my neck when he nodded. "It would help."
"Preston went ahead and got engaged. He didn't wait," I wailed.
"One of the many reasons I hope I never come face-to-face with him," Linden replied, growly as ever.
He brought the heel of his palm to the center of my back, kneading his way up my spine until he reached the base of my neck. He pressed, gently forcing my chin to my chest while he rubbed the gathered tension.
"This seems unnecessarily paternalistic." It was possible I moaned this but I stood by my point. I didn't need his strict daddy routine.
"Maybe so." He continued working my neck and shoulders while holding my nipple hostage. "Doesn't change anything. You need sleep, Jas, and rest too."
"Those things are the same."
He dug his thumb into a knot between my shoulder blades. "They are not."
"Don't decide you know better. I'll agree, it's a moment of upheaval for me. But that doesn't mean I can't say yes or no. It doesn't mean I don't want to hear your kidnapping fantasies while you back me up against a tree."
He leaned in, his beard brushing my ear. My nipple was throbbing throbbing throbbing and he went right on pinching as if he could do this all day, all night. "You liked that, did you?"
"Just because I liked hearing it doesn't mean I want you to do it. If you think I want you stealing me out of my bed in the middle of the night, you have a crowbar coming your way."
I felt the laugh move through him. "There goes that plan."
"Yeah, workshop that one a bit. Shine it up and come back to me with a fresh version."
"Here's what's going to happen, Jasper," he said, his voice drained of all teasing.
"I'm going to offer you the fold-out bed in my den or that sofa over there in the living room because there was a motherfucking fire in your house today and I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay there.
I've slept on both and can say, without a doubt, the sofa is much more comfortable.
I'd offer you my bed but I know you'll pitch a fit over that and then set the kitchen on fire again with whatever you bake to live up to your honor code. "
"I couldn't possibly—"
"Hush. I'm not finished. Since I know you're not going to accept these offers, even if you should, I'll just invite you to come over and use the shower and anything else, anytime you want.
I have a packed day tomorrow and I'll probably be out early but you don't have to wait for me to leave or get out of here before I come back. "
He eased up on my nipple but that was worse.
Very much worse. I was still pulsing like I was one great heartbeat and not a stitch else, and the slightly reduced pressure only made it pound harder.
And that didn't even account for the ceaseless ache between my legs and the cock grinding against my ass. Just a heartbeat.
"Right. Well. I—um." I waved a hand in the general direction of my place.
Included in that gesture was the cozy sectional where I could vividly imagine myself settling in for the night as well as Linden's bedroom.
The one he slept in. Ohhhhh, he probably slept naked. I bet he did. "I should be on my way."
"You sure about that?" Linden asked this in that imperious way of his, as if he knew the answer, knew what I needed better than I did, knew everyfuckingthing yet he asked because he wanted me to think I had a choice in the matter.
I had the option to leave and I could very well do that but then we'd both know it wasn't what I wanted. Not even a little bit.
"I am completely certain."
He peeled away from me, his heat and the pressure pinning me to the sink gone in one breath.
He released my nipple in another. I nearly pitched over, my legs shaky and my midsection desperate for something to squeeze.
And my nipple, well, I could barely feel that specific area of my body.
I imagined it looked like a cartoon character's thumb after a good smash with a hammer—five times its normal size with a chorus line of exclamation points popping above my areola.
Oh, yes, I was completely certain that it was time for me to go.
"Of course you are," he replied, something smug in his tone.
I turned around. He was already on his way to the door. "Yes, I have an appointment in the morning."
Linden dipped his chin, acknowledging my decision but not buying a word of it. "Do you have good directions this time?"
I smoothed my hands down my sides and strapped on a resolute grin. "My directions are fine, thank you for asking."
He paused at the door while I stepped into my shoes. He intended to walk me home and I could argue if I wished but I wouldn't change his mind.
As he held the door open for me, he asked, "Where are you headed?"
Cold evening air bit at my cheeks and nose. "North, I believe."
He chuckled as he fell into step with me. "That covers a lot of territory."
I didn't know why it made me nervous to discuss my appointment with the divorce attorney but an anxious shiver stirred in my belly. "I'll be just fine."
A noise rumbled out of Linden though he didn't form any words until we climbed the front steps. "Do you want me to give you a ride?"
My throat tightened. "You said you had a busy morning lined up."
He shrugged. "Nothing I can't reschedule."
I swallowed around a thick, throbbing stone of emotion, one sure to be a product of this strange nervousness. His questions were polite and reasonable yet everything inside me prickled and worried like I was warding off some kind of attack. "No need. I'll be all right on my own."
I turned my attention to the very important work of digging the keychain from my pocket. Linden eyed me as I did this. Always eyeing me, always sizing me up. Always thinking about sinking those teeth right into my neck.
"I'm sure you will be," he said. "I can still give you a ride. So you'll be on time."
I shifted away from him, now busy with the work of unlocking the old door. "I'll be all right," I repeated. "You have a busy schedule."
"Where is this office? Do you have an address?"
I rattled off the street name, adding, "I've already checked out the directions online. Seems straightforward."
"There's nothing straightforward about the roads into Boston. In fact, we go to great pains to make sure they're as curved and convoluted as possible."
"I've noticed this."
"There will be rotaries," he continued. "You might want to plan an extra hour or two into your commute."
"Traffic circles," I murmured. "Thank you for the advice." I pushed the door open and stepped over the threshold. Turning back to face him, I grinned, saying, "Thanks for walking me back. And everything else today. Unnecessary but very kind."
He folded his arms over his broad chest and tipped his head toward the door. "Lock up, all right? I'll wait."
"Have a good night." I closed the door and leaned back against it, my cheek flat on the panel.
I didn't need to glance through the peephole to know Linden was still there.
True to his word, that one. I was willing to bet he'd stay until he heard the deadbolt slide into place and it wouldn't matter whether it took me two minutes or two hours.
He'd wait and I didn't know why that sent another bolt of unease through my chest, into my belly.
The strangest thing was this wasn't any form of worry I'd known before. Something was happening inside me, something that danced along the edges of worry, but that wasn't it. All I knew about this sensation was I couldn't decide whether to move toward it or away from it.
I ran the pad of my finger over the cool metal as I drew out this ritual a few seconds longer.
What would he do if I didn't engage the bolt?
Would he turn the knob and step inside, press himself up against me while he announced he'd lock the door for me?
Would I allow that? Would I let him barge in and issue orders?
Would I acquiesce to those orders? Would I let myself enjoy it?
Seeing as I didn't have firm answers to any of those questions but most notably the final one, I closed two fingertips around the bolt and flipped it into place.
Through the panel, I heard, "Night, Jasper."
I sank my teeth into my lower lip. I couldn't help it.
No one had ever invested so much energy into looking after me before.
No one had ever walked me home, waited until I was safe inside.
No one had ever offered me a hanky while I cried or required I change into yoga pants for some nature therapy.
No one stood by while I fully and completely fell apart and then fed me stew for supper.
I worried my lip some more and gave myself a moment to be the object of his concern without trying to convince myself I wasn't enjoying it.