Chapter 25
Hold On – Wilson Phillips
Tally
The thud of the trailer ramp crashing to the ground, brought me out of my reverie.
Not so much as a reverie, but more an unease about what I thought was coming.
That thing called women’s intuition told me it was something bad.
After seeing Wilder stalk away like his heels were on fire, I couldn’t help but wonder when he would be back to drop the bomb.
“Tally, can you grab his reins from Mikey?”
Giving my head a shake, I gave Gunner my attention, moving forward to show I’d heard.
As Mikey led the stallion down the ramp I held my breath, he really was magnificent.
Coal black, rippling muscle, glossy mane and a tail that flicked with disdain as he haughtily looked down on us.
He was the king, and we were most definitely his lowly subjects.
He walked majestically, head held high taking in his surroundings, surveying and assessing.
“Wow.”
“I know.” Gunner shook his head slowly, just as amazed by the horse he’d purchased as everyone else, and he’d seen him before.
“What’s his full name?” I asked.
“Obsidian King,” Gunner said with a proud sigh. “Of Belmont Stakes winner Midnight Dominion, and Kentucky Derby winner Velvet Empress. And here’s the best bit, the grandsire of Sovereign Crest.”
My eyes bugged. “Sovereign Crest, who won the Triple Crown?”
“The very same.”
“You didn’t tell me that.” I ran a hand down the horse’s strong neck, marveling in the corded muscle beneath his sleek coat.
“I didn’t want to jinx it if Jack Parnell changed his mind about selling him to me.” Gunner took a step back and watched him reverently as Mikey handed me the reins.
“Here you go, Tally.” He grinned. “He’s amazing, right?”
“Incredible. He’s going to make some beautiful babies, that's for sure.” I started to lead him toward the stables where we’d set up what was almost like a penthouse suite for him. We were using one of the double stalls for him, hopefully so Songbird could eventually join him there.
As I walked him across the yard, everyone was buzzing, excited to see the incredible beast that would hopefully put The Last Creek Horse Breeding program on the map.
Gunner had involved me all the way, but today I felt detached.
Like my heart wasn’t wholly into it because it was elsewhere.
With someone else who didn’t even want it.
Almost at the stable, Glenn appeared with a huge grin on his face.
“He’s huge,” he said, reaching out a hand to stroke Obsidian’s nose. He reared his head back making Glenn stumble. “Shit, he’s pretty grouchy isn’t he?”
I laughed loudly. “I think he’s fine. Maybe it’s more your problem than his.”
He frowned, his eyes quizzical like he had no clue how it could possibly be his fault.
My thoughts went back to Wilder; he always owned his mistakes.
Was always upfront about what he wanted.
He’d told me it was just sex and I’d been the one to make a damn mess of things and fall for him.
He’d warned me not to, but I’d done it anyway.
I leaned forward and put a hand on Glenn’s forearm, looking him directly in the eye. “I think maybe you should stick to the ranch horses from now on. This boy is clearly too much for you.”
He gave a nervous chuckle, and it was obvious he wasn’t sure I was being serious. I totally was. Obsidian King was way too much horse for the smooth skinned city boy who fancied himself as a rancher.
Turning to lead Obsidian past Glenn, that was when I saw him.
Wilder.
He was standing by the horse trailer watching me. Watching Glenn. When he started to walk my way, his face a mask of disdain, I knew I wasn’t ready to hear it. Didn’t want to hear how it was over and that we were no longer just sex. We weren’t anything any longer.
“Mikey,” I called to him, beckoning him over. “Think you could take Obi, I feel ill all of a sudden.”
He frowned. “You do look kinda pale.” He took the reins and peered at me. “You should drink some ginger ale, that’ll ease the nausea.”
Nodding, I gave him a tight smile hoping that ginger ale could fix hearts too, even though I already knew it couldn’t. Then I rushed away. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. Just in case he was watching—letting me go.
Back in my cabin, I sat on the edge of my bed, still in my work clothes, staring at nothing. The silence felt different now. Not peaceful like it used to be when I was waiting for his knock. Just... empty.
I kept waiting for my phone to buzz. For boots on my porch. For some sign that what we'd had mattered to him too.
It didn't come.
I was fine. Perfectly fine. The pain would go away. In fact, it wasn’t pain, it was just a dull ache at the idea of not having great sex any longer. Scrub that, incredible sex.
Dragging my knees up to my chest, I rested my cheek on them, my eyes fixed on the door that wasn’t going to open, no matter how hard I wished for something different.
It was supposed to be temporary. Convenient.
Maybe we both forgot that for a while. Whatever it was, I wasn't going to beg him for anything different, anything more. I certainly wasn’t going to beg him to stay.
He pulled away first. He shut me out, so that said everything about what we’d once been.
Contemplating curling up in bed and shutting everyone out for the rest of the day, I stretched out my legs and groaned.
“Fuck my life.”
Glancing through the window, I shivered at the sight of the driving rain, wondering whether I should go back to work. I’d done everything I’d needed to do for the day, having cleared my schedule for the arrival of the stallion, Obi, as I’d decided I was going to call him.
I picked up my phone to check the text that Gunner had sent to me.
Gunner
Mikey said you felt unwell. Hope you’re okay. Take the rest of the day and tomorrow if you need it. We’ll manage. If you need anything give me…or maybe Wilder a call.
Like that would be happening. I scrolled to Wilder’s number and thought about deleting it but realized that was childish.
We’d agreed right from the beginning that there would be no consequences when we ended.
After all, we still had to work on the same ranch.
About to throw my phone across the room, I almost dropped it when it started to ring and a picture of my brother, Liam, popped up.
It was my favorite one of him because he was laughing. He rarely even smiled these days.
“Hey, Liam.”
“Talls. You okay? You haven’t called me in almost a week.” His voice was the usual level of tense and tight.
“You could call me, you know that, right?”
“It was your turn to call me, and I know how busy you are.”
Sighing, I lifted my legs onto the bed, putting my head on my pillow, I made myself comfy. Liam might be a grumpy ass but talking to either of my brothers always made me feel better. Protected. Safe.
“And yet you’re calling me now. In the middle of the afternoon.”
“And yet you answered, so you can’t be too busy can you?”
Smiling despite my black mood, I grabbed the wool throw blanket and covered myself. I’d let the fire die out and the dark storm outside brought a dull icy cold to the room. The kind that gripped you with its fingers and squeezed tight.
“I’m taking an afternoon. How are you? Have you heard from Mom and Dad?”
“I’m fine. Busy with work, just got a big contract for a new hotel just outside of Telluride.”
“That’s great, Liam. How big?”
“Sixty rooms and a spa. It’ll keep me afloat for the next year at least.”
Typical of my brother, always playing down his achievements. He was an incredible contractor, he and my other brother, Cole, always created amazing buildings. Cole designed them and Liam built them. Always introducing elements that were forward thinking and great for the environment.
“You know Nate would help you,” I suggested, the lie of omission sitting heavy on my tongue.
“I know, but like I keep telling him, that’s not what our friendship is about.” Liam sighed heavily. “Talking of Nate.”
“Liam, don’t. We’ve talked about this.” Guilt instantly ran through my veins like a cold poison.
“He says you’ve been ignoring his calls and when he came to the ranch last month you practically ran the other way.”
“It’s complicated.”
Complicated was my brother being best friends with Nate Jenkins who was responsible for the development next to The Last Creek Ranch.
Complicated was me not mentioning to the Miller’s that I knew him and had known him since I started to walk.
We’d grown up as neighbors of the Jenkins’, and were practically family.
“There’s nothing complicated about it, Talls. You just tell them that you know him and have for years. He’s not the enemy.” His voice was warm, checking in on me just like always. “I think they know that by now. Look at all the compromises he made over his development for them.”
“I know all of that,” I admitted. “I know that they trust him. It’s what it would look like if anyone found out. They’d think I came here to spy for him. Even if it had turned out okay in the end.”
“You came here for Dreamy. For yourself. Not for Nate, and secrets don’t stay buried forever, Talls.
You know that.” I heard papers rustling, aware that he was probably working as we spoke.
Both my brothers worked hard, never stopping working.
It was something that we’d all picked up from Mom and Dad—work hard and your dreams will be fulfilled.
Funny how none of us had ever been that good at relationships yet had parents still together after almost thirty-five years.
“I do, but I can’t risk it right now.” Moving onto my side I felt the ache in my chest as I thought about Wilder.
If he found out I knew Nate there definitely wouldn’t be any going back.
That was one thing he’d stipulated right from the start, honesty.
Then the Declan thing happened. He’d let that go, but omitting the truth about Nate, I wasn’t so sure he would forgive me for that.
The rain drummed against the window, a rapid beat that kept pace with my heart as I thought about Wilder.
About my life on the ranch and how much I loved it there.
How it was the first place that had felt like home since I’d left after college to pursue my career.
It would kill me if I had to leave, or if any of them thought badly of me.
Shivering, I pulled the throw blanket further around me.
“Talls, sweetheart,” Liam said softly, drawing me back in, “I know you love it there. It’s your dream job, you’ve got the dream boss, even your horse is called fucking Dreamy, but you had a life before all of that.
Nate is like a brother to you. He loves you like a sister, and he hates that you’re having to keep secrets.
He’ll talk to them, you know he will if you want him to. ”
“No,” I snapped, my fingers clenching the soft wool of the blanket. My heart thumped so hard, it hurt, the idea of Nate speaking for me twisting something low in my stomach. “When I think it’s the right time, I’ll tell them.”
Liam’s sigh was pure frustration, but he knew not to push any further. “Did you see the pictures Mom sent of her and Dad roller blading?”
We both burst out laughing and the remainder of our time was spent discussing our crazy parents and their life in Florida.
Once we’d ended the call I walked to the back porch and sat and watched the rain.
Listened to the wind and searched the darkening skies for some answers.
By the time it became the sapphire ocean I loved, I’d made at least one decision.
It was time to move on. Not from the ranch, but from Wilder.
It was clear we were done. I’d never asked him to stay, I probably should have done, but it was too late now, and it was something I’d have to live with.
Even if it meant living with a Wilder shaped hole in my heart.