Chapter 8
Bear
The hug between Tío Sergio and Pen lasts a long time. I clear my throat. It's like I can feel Pen choking up as she holds her dad close. Pen's mom, Tía Antonia, gives me a hug that while not as long, holds nearly as much affection.
It used to hurt my heart that I could get this from Pen's parents and not really my own.
More than a decade has passed since the last time I felt that way.
With my parents back in Norway, the physical distance mirrored the lack of closeness with them and, somehow, made it easier.
They'll probably want to be at the wedding, but I don't expect anything else to change.
"Come on in," Tía Antonia says. "Food's going to get cold."
I put a hand on Pen's back and we go into the home. The house is almost identical to the place I grew up in, but this one was renovated recently. Now the whole downstairs is open concept, with stairs to one side, and a living room opposite.
Pen sleeps in her childhood bedroom on the second floor, while I sleep on the sofa bed in the living room. Even so, I keep my things in a small dresser next to hers. It's always been like that. I carry our bags in one hand and drop them at the bottom of the stairs to take up later.
We go through the living room to the dining space behind it, between the sitting area and the kitchen at the back.
All of it is decorated in an eclectic mix of old and new pieces of furniture, modern decor, and bits and pieces they brought from Chile.
From copper decorative plates to handcrafted clay and crinoline traditional pieces, little bits of their story hang around the place.
At first, it was hard to be here when my old home was just next door, owned by strangers. Now it doesn't matter. This house feels like going back home. It's a cozy feeling I adore.
We get to the table and I instinctively aim to help Pen take a chair, but I freeze midway.
I go as far as to pull it back and wait for her to get comfortable, but I know better.
From the funny little smirk tilting Pen's mouth, she knows better, too.
Despite the hundred ways in which we're affectionate with each other, this kind of gallantry has never been part of what we do.
But we're engaged, and it may have flicked a couple of extra switches in my brain.
I've always known that the key to protecting our friendship is to never let myself look at those feelings I had— could have had— may have had for her the moment I kissed her. When something like that takes over, friendships suffer. They become fragile.
That's especially the case with Pen. She would feel betrayed if I went from the best friend she feels safe with, to a fool suddenly seeking something different.
To change my tune after all this time would hurt us beyond repair.
Now I'll be treating Pen like my fiancée, and it will push me right to the edge of those lines I don't let myself look at.
Moments like these have always excited me with a romantic partner, but I can't let them drag me to something couple-like with my best friend.
Good luck to my compartmentalization powers.
Pen acts like everything is normal, so I do too. We take our spots side by side, in front of her parents.
Tío Sergio pours coffee in our mugs. "You guys didn't have to come all the way."
"Yes, we did," I say. "We can go back to the camping grounds we found a hundred times. From the sounds of it, we need to prioritize getting you to Seattle for some specialist assessments."
He smirks the same way Pen does. "At least let me put something in my stomach before you argue with me on that. Help yourself, please."
The spread before us is impressive. Scrambled eggs with mushrooms, sliced tomatoes, three types of cheese, golden hashbrowns, sausages, Chilean churrascas bread I suspect Tía Antonia made herself, two types of jam, and a jar of dulce de leche they will insist I call manjar, like the rest of the country does.
"This is a lot of food, Mamá." Pen grins through the comment, while shoveling eggs onto her plate.
Knowing what comes next, I put one churrasca on Pen's plate and one on mine.
"I always want you guys to feel welcome here and a full stomach is part of that," Tía Antonia says. "Besides, I have a good memory. I remember how much a young man eats. Don't forget I fed Leon plenty through his teenage years."
Pen snorts.
I shake my head. "I'm nearly thirty years old, Tía."
"And a pro athlete." Tía raises both eyebrows like this is all very logical. "Isn't carb loading a thing?"
Pen takes a few pieces of cheese and adds them to her plate. "Do you want a couple slices, Bear?"
I nod and let her take care of it. Tía Antonia's eyes are on us, but I pretend I don't notice.
"Thank you," I tell Pen, before kissing her temple.
Yeah, I can't let this confuse my poor heart.
"Anyway." I sip from my coffee and gaze at Pen's dad. "I won't let you avoid the subject this time, Tío Sergio."
Tío Sergio fills his mouth with food to delay his response, but I wait him out. I maintain my insistent stare.
He relents. "I know you think of me as family, but I can't let you do that. I'm a proud man, Leon. I know you have the money to pay out of pocket but can they really tell me something my doctors can't? I have a good medical team."
"I don't just think of you as family," I say. "You are family. And didn't you just tell me yesterday I'm like a son to you? I know you feel the same way. Let me pay."
Tía Antonia shakes her head. "There are rules to these things. How do we make it make sense to insurance? They might decide we don't qualify ever again, just because someone paid out of pocket for us once. You may be like family to us, but we're not legally related. They could take advantage."
"I hate that so much," Pen says. "But if that's the case, then we have something to tell you."
She gazes at me. We're all eating our food slowly, making room for the conversation. Everything is rich in flavor, familiar in its own way, yet I lose track of it.
This is the moment we tell her parents we decided to get married. My stomach slows down and I have to put my fork down.
I put an arm around Pen's back and kiss her temple again. My heart skips a beat.
Think about this later, Leon.
Pen takes a deep breath. "Mom, Dad… Bear and I changed our minds."
Despite how often we swore there was nothing like that between us.
Despite the evidence we have that we're not meant for romance.
Despite how loyal we've been to our friendship above everything else.
We're going to tell the world we found something new despite nothing else changing in nearing twenty years.
Good thing we have each other to rely on. And isn't that what the promise of an engagement is supposed to be truly about? That you want to go through everything together with this one person.
"I asked Pen to marry me," I say.
Her parents stop moving. Tía Antonia's fork hovers midway between her plate and her mouth. Tío Sergio's cup is stuck to his mouth. Both sets of eyes open wide.
For a moment I worry that this is it, this is when they decide they don't need to invite the kid neighbor into their family after all.
I package that old doubt into a hidden corner, cover it with layers of the darkest black paint, and look away.
They care about me, but that doesn't stop them from questioning everything.
"What?!"
"Since when?"
"Recently—" Pen starts.
"I knew this was going to happen! But I thought—" Tía starts.
"So sudden!" Tío exclaims.
"Don't you need to date first?!" Tía continues.
Pen glances at me. We only made loose plans about our backstory, but we're going to pull it off. The thing that bothers us is misleading them.
I take her hand on the table and act like a hero in one of my fanfics. I take charge. She squeezes my hand back, hard. I keep my eyes on her as I speak.
"A while ago," I say, "we decided to try. We didn't say anything because we didn't want to give you hope in case it didn't work."
"We know you've always wanted this to happen," Pen adds. "But for the longest while we didn't think romance was for us. Now we're ready to take this step."
"I never understood why you thought dating couldn't work for you." Tía makes a bewildered gesture. "How did you know? And what changed?"
We shift and gaze at her parents instead, fingers intertwined.
"We kissed when we were teens," Pen explains. "It didn't work then— at all."
My stomach drops. It never felt good to think of that moment. Too awkward, I think. Too delicate, for sure.
I guess food can wait a while longer.
"But we're adults now." I put my fork down. "We realized it was time to test it again. The most important thing was to protect our friendship… and our relationship with you both."
Shock hasn't fully disappeared from their face, but at least they're moving again. Paying close attention. If I look carefully, I'm pretty sure there's a hint of hope and excitement in their eyes.
"I've always been afraid to ruin the friendship," I hear myself saying. "We wanted to make sure this works. I've never wanted to lose Pen and you both."
"You couldn't!" Tía says.
Pen gazes at me for a few extra seconds. My words surprise me, but it fits with our plan, so I don't take them back.
"How long has this been going on?" Tío asks. "How long have you been together? Because to never hear about that and all of a sudden be thinking of weddings…?"
I tell myself it is natural that they're suspicious. That in their culture asking all these questions is important. That it makes sense. They haven't changed their mind about having me as a son-in-law.
Though maybe I shouldn't be thinking about that since I won't be their son-in-law forever.
Pen sighs. "We started talking about getting married as soon as we realized it was working for us. We've known each other for so long, right?"
"But being as honest as we possibly can be," I say, "I asked her to marry me last night. I want you to walk Pen down the aisle, Tío."
His eyes fill with tears again.
"That's why she doesn't have a ring." Tía's voice comes soft.
I nod. "That's also why we're going to get a wedding planner and make it happen in six weeks, before the start of the new football season."
At this, their mouths hang open.
Pen and I stare at each other. It's a check in, and I raise an eyebrow as a question. She smiles and nods to let me know she's doing well. I kiss the back of her hand. Still smiling, she rolls her eyes, like she thinks I'm overdoing it.
It makes sense. A kiss on her hand crosses a line to something more romantic, more couple-y, and she doesn't care for that.
But she'll have to take it, if we're to convince everyone.
And I'll have to keep my fantasies under wraps, so they don't cast new colors on the walls, the kind I'm not meant to see.
All these gestures are going to be for show.
Pen gazes back at her parents. "We really, really don't want to wait."
"Don't rush because of me," Tío says.
"Why wait?" Pen asks. "Time together is precious."
"I have adored your daughter for most of my life," I say. "She's my favorite person. I can't wait to be married."
Tía Antonia makes a gesture like she's toasting us with her mug. "I may not understand why you kept this private for however long you did, but you have to know I'm thrilled."
Pen smiles. I smirk.
Tío grins. "Remember that time capsule you buried in the backyard?"
Pen and I nod.
"Ask Antonia what she put in there."
Pen and I exchange a look. When we put things in there, we asked them to write letters to future us.
We were meant to wait to read them until we dug the small container.
The metal box we used houses the letter I wrote to her, where I opened my heart and promised things I still hold myself to.
We're not meant to go back to those words until we're thirty.
"I put many things in that letter," Tía says.
"Including something about them, right?" Tío teases her.
Tía shrugs in a way that's familiar to me. "Was I wrong?"
"What did you put in there?" Pen asks.
Tía straightens an invisible wrinkle on the table cloth. "That I thought you'd be married by the time you dug it out."
It's our turn to show our surprise. Tío laughs.
"You know I'm a little bruja," Tía explains. "I had a dream back then that you were married."
Tío gazes at his wife. "That scores the fourth time I know for a fact her dreams became a reality."
Pen frowns. "I know of the time Mom knew mi prima Camila was pregnant back in Chile."
"I also dreamt of your dad in a big medical machine." Laughter dissolves on Tía's face, just like in all of ours. "It's partly why he got the extra exams."
"I hope now you will let me get you checked out by specialists in Seattle," I say, serious again. "If you need to explain to people, saying your son-in-law insisted on adding you to his extended family plan has a special ring to it."
"Yes," Tío replies. "It has a special ring to it."
"Congratulations, you two." Tía holds her mug near the center of the table, making it into a more official toast this time. "You were destined to end up together. You'll be so happy."
"We're so happy for you both," Tío adds.
All four of us clink our mugs together, but I say nothing. My heart threatens to clog my throat if I try.