Chapter 9
Eleven years ago
"This is the corniest thing we've ever done," I say.
I water the flowers we planted to mark the spot where our capsule waits.
Leon sits on the swing behind me, not moving.
He hasn't said as much, but I suspect he's a little nervous the tree branch can't hold his full weight.
He's always been tall and husky, but he's gotten bigger these past few months.
Ever since earning an instant spot on the school's football team as an offensive lineman, he's grown several inches and put on several pounds of muscle.
He's constantly having to re-learn the rules of living in this world as a big person.
I sigh. Things keep on changing, but the capsule should survive well.
We wrapped it in several layers of plastic bags and tape.
They should protect the few objects we put inside— a mixed tape we saved on a USB thumb drive, one letter from each of her parents and us, a few small toys we used to play with when we had just met, and some high school paraphernalia.
Leon leaves the swing and comes to stand next to me.
"It was your idea," he says.
I gaze up at him. Bear is the only teenager I know who could actually grow a beard, but he shaved today. It makes his thick eyebrows stand out, drawing one's attention to his eyes. Dark blue, clear, and intense.
No wonder he's one of the most popular guys in school these days. He's a looker, the kind everyone knows is only going to get better in college.
I shake my head, not to think too hard of where things might have been, had that kiss gone differently.
It was a very nice kiss, if I'm honest. I know that now, after kissing two other guys and feeling nothing at all.
With Bear I felt… nice. Just weird. And I was nervous, building it up too much in my head to fully enjoy it.
And I was snotty, and with that post-crying headache building up between my temples…
I shrug. "I figured it was the kind of thing to remind you of me while you're off at college."
If the kiss we had right here in this backyard had led to more, we might be together romantically now.
Or not, considering how bad I continue to be at all things romance.
He gets enough attention that he could have easily noticed someone else could give him more.
Maybe it would have broken us up, and I would have lost him forever.
He puts his big hands on my shoulders and makes me face him. I let go of the hose handle, and water stops flowing. He kisses my forehead. I shiver.
"I could never forget about you," he says. "After everything we went through this year? With my parents going back to Norway and me fucking living with you for the past few months?"
"With the way high school is over and yet you're still invited to all the summer parties, and all the questions you get about your football scholarship, and all the girlfriends you've had."
He scoffs. "I know there's a part of your brain somewhere that thinks we are friends because we were two lonely kids who happened to live next door. You're wrong. I'm not going to forget."
"You're frigging mister 'most likely to be a millionaire' and 'most likely to date supermodels' now. You'll be busy."
"No one compares to you," he says.
I drop the hose and, cool hands and all, wrap my fingers around his thick forearms. His words cushion me with the softness of a cloud, with a million little droplets that cling to my skin and remind me everything is going to be okay.
I squeeze his arms. "As long as you feel the same way when you're at your fancy Seattle college, playing football with a real chance at the big leagues. When you're dazzled by the world, and make a hundred new friends, and this city is a thing of the past."
"Not going to happen. We have technology. We'll text. We'll chat. We'll video call…"
"I'll try to transfer there and if I can't, I'll go there for work or for grad school…"
I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'm aiming for something like psychology or social work or maybe even nursing. We'll see. Regardless, I'll need several years to get there.
If that goes well, it will give me a long window of time when I'll be surrounded by like-minded people.
Maybe that will make a difference, and I'll find better prospects for my own dating pool than I did in high school.
It's a big if, but I haven't lost hope yet.
Maybe I'll find someone who basically wants friendship with fun sex once in a while, no heart-shaped chocolate boxes and candles necessary.
As long as I don't lose Bear…
"I will not forget about you, Pen."
I sigh.
"You're loyal like that." I walk into his arms. "And you want to know what I wrote in my letter to you. See? The capsule is how I'm keeping you."
Not that I wrote a great letter. I mostly made fun of my worries that I would never see him again. It truly is my biggest fear. I can't imagine a life without him. But the point is the mystery and the nostalgia. Someone like Leon would love that.
He wraps me in his arms and holds me close. "You can keep me. In fact, you have no choice."