Chapter 28
Pen
I wouldn't be running late, if my mom hadn't insisted I surprise Bear with a new party dress.
The gown I picked wouldn't have been my first choice, if not for my mom, either.
Not because it isn't an absolute beauty, or because I didn't feel good in it— I did.
I felt hot and powerful and sexy. The problem was, those were dangerous feelings to carry around in my belly when things with Bear are as they are.
I cover my body in moisturizer and focus on my hair next. The hair dryer is quiet but intense, helping my long locks along while making my lungs jealous. It's like the appliance is whisper-screaming, now this is how you handle air!
The poor organs in my chest have been struggling of late. All of them. Especially at times when Bear does casual things like prancing around in all his size and glory covered by a towel around his hips and nothing else.
It's like our wedding kiss shook my body awake. Like it was an emergency. Like I needed to remember that I may have sworn off romance, but my libido didn't die. It just got handled by myself and my dildo.
I turn off the hair dryer and frown. With slow movements, I pull my hair up into a messy french twist. With each pin I use on my hair, I count backwards.
Fuck. I haven't had a release since before the wedding.
First because we were traveling together, now because he's always around.
But I'm a few-times-a-week kinda gal. I went from bodily satisfaction to none at all.
Worse, my libido keeps getting stoked, sharing a bedroom and a shower with a sexy, sexy man.
Huh. Well, that explains things. Thank God.
No need to put the friendship at risk for that.
I just need to wait until my parents are gone and I can go back to sleeping in the other room.
Then I'll safely get to business over there, far enough from Bear's bedroom that I can moan as loud as I need to.
I put on makeup with a relieved smile on my face. I keep it simple, except for bold, dark red lips. With a final check to make sure my towel is still securely fixed in place, I step out of the bathroom.
"Almost ready!" I say loudly to the room, and run into the large walk-in closet.
I dab my lips together to help the long-stay lipstick dry and focus on my undergarments first.
When my parents came to stay with us and I moved into Bear's bedroom, setting up my things in here was what gave me the strongest sense of deja vu.
Once upon a time, when I thought I needed to find someone to be A Couple with, I wouldn't think about rings and a proposal and a wedding.
I would think about living together. The little things that come with it, like being annoyed that he never put his socks in the hamper.
Who's going grocery shopping this week? And why can't he just get up the first time his alarm goes off?
I wake up every time he snoozes it for another five minutes, ugh.
Now I live with a guy I can't get enough of, whose little idiosyncrasies never bother me, and whose enormous, half-empty closet fits all of my things quite comfortably.
I sigh and take my new dress out of its bag.
It falls like silk on my body and fits perfectly, thanks to a cut made for lush bodies.
The black fabric is soft. Swathes of gold thread, made to look like expensive strokes of a brush, add to the luxury feel.
Generous amounts of black material cover my chest and hips.
Alongside a deep V-neck, a dangerously high center slit, and a tightly cinched band at my waist, the effect is decadent.
Earrings and shoes in hand, I exit the closet and make for the standing mirror in a corner. Bear stands in front of it adjusting his tie.
He turns to me as I approach. His hands fall to the side. "Woah."
It's a strange sound coming out of him. Surprise isn't his usual MO. Calm and composure are. The way his eyes darken isn't common either.
I step into my shoes and put on my long, gold dangling earrings. "Do you like it?"
His gaze travels down my body. He doesn't reply. He goes down on his haunches and deals with the undone straps of my shoes instead.
My lungs hiccup. His fingers, thick as they are, graze my skin softly. Gently. Like touching me deserves the utmost care. Even after both straps are buckled in place, his hand doesn't leave me. His dark blue eyes travel up my body instead, taking me in as if for the first time.
And still he doesn't say anything. Not as his hand goes up my leg, slowly, in a sweet torment of a caress.
My heart hammers against my breastbone. I thought my body had awakened from slumber before. How silly. That was nothing, compared to flames dancing up my limbs.
"Leon," I breathe.
His hand stalls right behind my knee, turning the skin there hypersensitive. His dark blue eyes shoot up to mine. Time freezes. We're held suspended by whatever silent message travels between us.
He removes his hands with deliberate, gradual moves. He licks his lips, like he's considering his next move.
"What…" I try. "I don't…"
I have no idea what to do next.
He stares at the ground for a second, before he stands up. Straight and tall as can be, he stares down at me.
"I apologize." His voice is deep.
"For… what?"
"For making you uncomfortable." He purses his lips. "For touching you like that."
"I wasn't uncomfortable," I breathe.
Something flickers in his eyes. My lips part. Blood rushes in my ears.
I'm not uncomfortable, no. I'm aroused.
We've always been touchy-feely. When he caresses my face or kisses my temple, it feels good.
It brings up warmth, and a deep sense of safety I love.
The way his hand went up my leg just now was nothing like that.
This time, his touch brought up a deep, powerful combustion to my insides.
Even now, my body echoes the heat like embers, ready to turn ablaze at the merest breeze passing by.
I'm hypersensitized, because my best friend touched me in ways he never had before, and my body is alert and in need of more, and it seems like it should be a grand idea to mix friendship and pleasure for once.
"Good to know," he says.
His eyes drop to my mouth. For all the breathing exercises I've been doing of late, my lungs choose this moment to forget how to work.
I would have stayed frozen in the moment, if not for the way Bear clears his throat.
"You look beautiful, Pen." He frowns. "That's what I meant to say."
I gulp. I blink a few times. Belatedly, I'm the one with wandering eyes.
His black hair up and done into a casual, perfectly styled, side-swept top, with a wonderful fade at the temples. His well-manicured beard. His scar. His lips.
I take a deep breath.
There's also the tailored, bright blue suit, covering an expensive-looking blue t-shirt, in a shade only slightly darker than his coat. I'm halfway to touching his chest, just to make sure it's as soft as it seems, when I detour. I run a finger along his pocket square instead.
"Light and dark blue… houndstooth pattern?"
He nods. "I wanted something to break the solid blue."
"Not in case you go feral?"
"Feral?" The single word comes out of his mouth in such a way, I have to assume it's a question.
Otherwise, I would have to hear it like a challenge.
"The hound… and a hunter…" I try. "The baring of teeth."
Except— fuck it. I make a pass of my fingers over the lapels, and detour until I can place my hand on his chest. I glance at him, noting the intense way his dark eyes track me, before I follow the journey of my hand down his torso.
Yes. The shirt is as soft as I imagined. His body is large and comforting and strong, and I've always known that. But right now, it feels different. Charged.
I gaze up at him, studying him from under the ridge of my eyebrows.
"Are you uncomfortable, Leon?"
His nostrils flair. He doesn't answer, but shakes his head.
"Good," I say.
His eyes never leave me. "Do you like what you see?"
The question comes deep. Slow, like he's testing the words on his mouth. Purposeful.
My lips slant on a small smile. "You look incredibly handsome."
He nods. "We'll show off tonight. Afterwards, we'll come home with a new ring."
"Another one for the collection?"
He smirks, takes my hand, and leads me out of the room.
Not before I make a mental note to find that damn dildo, packed somewhere and boxed in Bear's basement most likely. I need to find a way to calm my body down, stat.
I'm slipping.