Chapter 31
Pen
I wake up with Bear spooning me. Keeping my movements small, I check the ancient clock on my bedside table.
It's the same one I've been using since I was a teen, now living oh so casually with me in my husband's bedroom.
The familiar, impossible-to-miss sound will go off in a few minutes.
To make the most of the little time I have left in bed, I snuggle back into the temporary haven of my best friend's arms, and close my eyes.
We have another busy day ahead. Bear has amped up his pre-season training since the gala ten days ago, but that isn't what will change the home's current schedule.
Minicamp is here. For the next few days, Bear and the team will join the rookies in acclimatation, drills, and team-building events.
It's an important step in preparing for the new season and, since my parents are still here, Evie arranged for a small private viewing.
Later in the day, I will drop my parents off at home, get ready, and then I'll meet everyone else at the club for a casual get together. Because that's how we roll these days. We do the same things we used to do before getting married, even if these days it feels like more, somehow.
I burrow back into the protection of Leon's arms. Damn. Everything we're doing fits with how Normal Couples go about their lives.
Bear makes a soft, deep noise behind me.
It sends shivers down my spine. If we hadn't taken that photobooth picture for fun, I wouldn't be feeling this way.
But he dipped me back. He threw me off balance while holding me in place at the same time.
He gazed at me like he might kiss me again, echoing our wedding kiss but, this time, like he was about to send everything to hell.
Now the smallest moments tickle my nerve endings, and shoot signals up my brain I shouldn't entertain.
All because of that picture and how he held my thigh and me and…
That's a lie. This feeling has been building up since the wedding and that kiss. Not to say anything of how glorious it is to wake up in his arms, having him call me his wife like he means it, then that clinch moment I can't seem to get over. Of course it's confusing.
Good thing I'm still half-asleep and extremely comfortable in bed with him. It makes up for any awkward feeling I don't know what to do with. Being in Bear's embrace has always been a top tier experience but, since sharing a bed, mornings like these have become my favorite.
It's the coziness. The warmth radiating from him, through me.
In those hazy minutes when I could fall asleep again, my brain conjures up fantasies I can't afford in the light of day.
Images of what it might be like to wake up together like this, but taking it further.
To move slowly against each other, until all coziness is left behind and we make each other breathless with touches and…
I'm pretty sure Bear is asleep, except the hand on my tummy is gently caressing my skin.
Two of his fingers make lazy circles, and it feels amazing.
Like those half-awake dreams, where touching each other starts as simply as this, but we end up sweaty and forced to share the shower if we don't want to be late.
Gah, he makes another rumbly noise. The two-finger caress becomes a whole-hand journey over my skin, until it settles on the round of my hip.
It's nothing racy, but it wakes me up fully.
Days upon weeks of moments like this with my best friend, and if we've ever been affectionate with each other, an ocean of want has built drop by drop since he kissed me last.
Something primal has been triggered in me. The kind of drive encoded deep into our DNA, that makes a large portion of this world go round. Now the smallest things push buttons I didn't know I had.
My alarm clock goes off. I whine. One of his arms is trapped under my neck, but the other is free. He reaches above me and taps on the old device until the sound stops.
Bear's hand comes back to me, right to the soft hill of my hip. He sighs, like morning came too soon for him, too. But my body doesn't care. I hear the sound and it registers as if he's taking in the scent of my hair between us.
What kind of sounds would he make if we ever did the kind of things taking over my mind?
"I want to stay right here," I whisper.
The words echo in my mind, but they have changed somewhat.
I want to see what happens next.
And that's the truth.
"When's the last time we slept in, do you think?" he asks.
His voice is raspy from sleep, and his breath plays with the small hairs of my neck. I shiver in his arms.
"Mmh," he utters.
Fuck, I bite back. Or whisper. I'm not sure.
"I— well." Leon moves back.
I pursue him. "Don't go away. This… this is good."
His large hand clings to my hip.
He grabs the soft flesh with hard fingers. "Pen."
"Just a little longer." I snuggle closer to him. "Two minutes, tops."
It's all I'll give myself, to feed my fantasies for when I'm alone and I can do something about it. Or the next time I'm half-awake and thinking of sex.
Rather, thinking of sex with Bear.
Such a dangerous thing to admit.
I hesitate. With minimal movements, I test the room between us. Maybe I should think twice— I definitely should think twice— and create space.
But I find him fully pressed to me. A large wall of tense muscles and inviting padding, and a belly that fits perfectly in the small of my back. I move back further, checking if it's really full body contact.
It is.
"Penélope. Do not move."
The growl in his voice wakes me up better than my half-baked thoughts did. I don't move, except to open my eyes to the darkness around us. It's early, and the blackout curtains do a great job of keeping the rising sun at bay.
We're in a secret place, away from scrutiny, and he's getting hard against my ass. The change is swift and distracting.
I bite my lip and push back against his erection. It's the most daring thing I've ever done.
"Fuck. Pen."
"Bear. I…"
I move again. His erection ends up nested against me, and it does something to him, because he bucks. I gasp.
"Pen."
"What if— just this time—"
"Tell me exactly what's on your mind."
His voice is demanding. Growly. My insides melt like ice cream on a sunny day.
I curve my back and push my ass against him. Once, twice, he rubs himself on me. He groans and stops. His fingers dig into my flesh.
"It's been too long," I say. "My body… it… I need this."
"We need to talk."
The tips of his fingers dig hard enough on my flesh I might get bruises. I don't stop him. Instead, I roll my hips and seek more friction.
A sound makes it out of my throat.
"Fuck," he lets out. "That moan."
"Can we— Leon. Just bodies."
"It's us."
"Our bodies."
His quick, labored breathing breezes over the sensitive skin on my neck. In the trance of the moment, I reach for the hand laying on my pillow. I don't think twice of interlocking my fingers with his. It's a way to keep him close. Now he can't take his arm away from me.
With my free hand, I fist the covers and cling to them for dear life.
"What do you want?" he groans. "Tell me. Now."
We're moving against each other. He rubs, I seek more of him.
"Talk tonight," I manage. "Now— this. Please. Please."
"Fuck."
"Just this. Please. Bear. Please."
"Pen."
The command in his voice stops me for just a second. If he doesn't want this…
But he keeps rubbing himself on me.
"Pen," he adds in the same bossy tone. "With me you don't beg."
I gasp, and he pushes his erection into my flesh in a long roll of his hips.
"We'll do exactly what you want to do," he says.
"Just…" I gulp. "Just do this with me. Exactly this."
"Will you touch yourself?"
He nuzzles my hair, my neck. Our interlocked fingers rest on my pillow, and I grip his hand tight. With my free one, I take a journey down my belly. I move past the last pillowy curve and into my clothes, down my underwear, and I find my clit.
The first touch alone results in spikes of pleasure through my body.
"I won't last long," I admit.
"Fuck."
"Will you come like this?"
He keeps on moving against me, using my ass for friction. The hand on my hip continues to dig into me, this time purely to keep me in place.
He lets out a self-deprecating scoff. "Won't last long, either."
With two fingers, I make circles on my clit.
I'm wet and I rub hard, and soon I'm slick all over.
My orgasm could build as fast as I want, I'm feeling so turned on, but I delay it.
I pull my fingers back just a smidge, but enough that the movements soften on the head of my swollen clit.
I gasp again. A moan escapes me. I push my ass against him.
"Pen." He groans. "God. Pen."
"Leon. Soon. I could… come." I moan again. "But you… how are you…"
I'm drenched, to the point my fingers can't just stay on a single point between my labia. I switch to big passes around my clit, dipping two fingers into myself, then out and around again.
Bear closes his mouth on my neck. It's a bite, but the angle keeps it like a soft scratch of teeth on skin.
I buckle.
"Keep moving like that and I'll come before you."
"Bite me again."
With no question, he does, and I tremble in his arms.
"Fuck. Pen. Fuck!"
The words are quiet, but harsh. I rub hard, pulling more pleasure out of my body. As much as I can get. My orgasm is long, and I ride it like I've been missing doing this kind of thing with someone else.
But no. If I've been missing this, it's Bear I've wanted to do it with.
Wait. What?
I breathe fast. I blink a few times. My muscles still clench, but some clarity returns to me.
Until Bear pulls from the hand nestled under my clothes.
"Pen."
Without any other words, he brings my hand all the way to his mouth and he… and he…
Still rubbing himself on me, Leon sucks my fingers clean. His tongue makes passes around my fingers. Between them. Like he wants every last drop of my wetness for himself.
He grunts once. Twice. His rhythm becomes erratic.
"Damn," I whisper.
My taste made him come.
Just a few seconds later, he breathes as fast as I do, but he brings my hand down to my shoulder, where he holds it tight.
We lay still. Nothing but the sound of blood rushing in my ears reaches me. I've recovered from my climax, but not from what we just did.
Oh my God. What did we just do?
I twitch and find a way to stare at him. In this position it's difficult to do, but it's the darkness that hides most of what he feels.
I don't know how I'm feeling, either.
"Tonight." The word comes out gravelly out of him. "After the club. We'll talk."
"Yeah… of course. Yes. We're running late now."
"Tonight," he repeats in the same tone.
He lets go of both my hands, but I don't move. It's a shock to realize I still want more of this closeness with him.
"Take the shower," he adds. "I'll… I will change and get ready at TD."
He pushes back and, this time, I let him go.
"Tonight, then," I say.
I feel more than I see his nod. He gets off the bed and makes for his closet. He closes the door before turning on the light, like he would rather I not see him.
Fuck. What did we just do?