Chapter 43
Pen
The lake is cold enough to shock my entire system, but I keep walking into it anyway.
"It's so— cold! Ah!"
"Pen! What are you doing?"
I turn to smile at him while still going deeper into the water. "I thought— you were— ah! Smart. So cold!"
"Penélope Duarte! Come back here."
He stands naked at the edge of the water. His arms are crossed, and something about the way he holds himself makes him look solid. A big wall, staring me down with a deep frown.
"There's the bossy man I know! Come join me."
"I don't want to catch a cold."
"It's summer! And skinny dipping is worth it. New bucket list item!"
"You're going to catch a cold."
"Then come keep me warm! Protect me with your big manly furnace of a body."
I stop when the water covers my breasts. Leon stares at me disapprovingly from a few yards away. I laugh.
"Unbelievable." He shakes his head, but enters the water.
He doesn't complain about the cold. He just keeps his eyes trained on me, and advances like the weight of water isn't but a small nuisance.
"Bear? What are you trying to do?"
I scream again when he reaches me and, with firm arms around me, plunges us both under water.
Sound changes. His skin turns slick, but it's a warm magnet in the cold lake. He's pulling me closer, handling me underwater, so we never lose track of the right way up. Like he always does.
We break the surface and he laughs. He keeps me close with one arm. With his free hand, he pulls my hair back again.
"Why do you keep pulling my hair back?" I ask.
"I want to see your lovely face." He drops a kiss on my lips. "I want to see into your eyes and find all your truths there."
I smile. "But you'll also dunk me in the water."
"Of course. What are friends for otherwise?"
I put my arms around his neck. The fairy lights turn on among the trees, and on the deck outside the cabin. Faint daylight remains in the sky, but it's finally getting dark over the lake.
"I suppose you're right," I admit. "You can't really have a friends with benefits situation without the friends part. Or the benefits."
"I think we're past friends with benefits, since we're married. But we should keep it to the bucket list."
"Okay, then I'll make it official. My latest rating is ten out of ten."
"Please tell me you're scoring the skinny dipping part. Technically, that's the latest item we took care of."
I laugh. "What if I meant ten out of ten sex?"
"Please. I know we kept it simple, but the pipe organ got more than that."
"Aww. Did you want your organ to get a million out of ten?"
"I wouldn't say no to a million out of ten score for my dick." He keeps caressing my face, making long trails over my cheek, my temple, my hair, my nape. Over and over again. His eyes keep on watching me, adoringly, patiently. Full of humor, too.
I grin. "You do have a very pretty, very impressive dick. You use it very well."
"Do we have the green light for the next bucket list items, then?"
"Which ones are we talking about, and do they all include your dick?"
"Only if you really want to." He grins impishly. "We can get creative. I'll surprise you."
"What if I need to prepare mentally for these plans of yours?"
"Too bad. For now, see what kind of bucket list items you can come up with here, in the privacy of this campground."
"I know one thing I want to add to it."
I run wet fingers through his hair. He smirks. That's all I need. I know it's his way of asking for an explanation.
He holds me closer. I surround his hips with my legs. His wide, muscled shoulders stay over the line of the water.
"Tell me if I'm right." I ran a finger over the visible ink. "You've been holding back."
He freezes. The water is icy, but it's not what makes him immobile. It's the reason I shiver, though, I'm pretty sure.
"I think I saw some of it," I say. "In the shower that first day. After the club. When you told me to kiss you… then you stopped me and told me to try harder."
His eyes search mine. Movement returns to him, but he hesitates.
I dip my chin. I bite my lip.
"I'd like to see you wild, Bear. Losing control. What would you do to me, if this weren't only about my bucket list?"
He licks his bottom lip. "If it isn't about your bucket list, then this would be about us, Pen. It would be you and me, married to our best friend, having sex for fun. Because it feels good. But we said we'd do it this way, to protect our friendship."
"Yes. We said that." I sigh.
At the end of the day, it's good we have these rules. Even so, I may be interested in learning just how much fits within those lines.
He frowns. "I'm not sure when we'll be done with your list, and I'm in no hurry. All I know is I'll want you by my side by the end of it, no matter what."
I start shivering. My heart skips a beat.
When he says it like that, it sounds like he could see me like his wif— like his friend forever, and that would be enough.
Like he'd give up on roses and love letters, and the love of someone who wants dogs and a big yard and a house big enough for their ten kids.
I made it my mission to protect his dream. He is so loyal that he'd sacrifice what he wants to make me happy. I won't let him give that up, and I won't let myself forget.
Despite the kisses, despite the sex, despite the fantasies we're indulging in. Nevermind the fact we're holding on to each other, naked under the moonlight.
"You're right," I say, "We'll keep it to the lists. What you're forgetting is that I said I wanted to feel thoroughly wanted, too. Enjoyed. Taken. I think… if you let go, I'd feel like that."
"You're offering me a lot, Pen."
"I think it's fair."
"Don't do it for me."
"Why not? I want you to love what we're doing, too."
"I am. I do."
"I'm using you. You should use me, too."
"Pen." He releases a gust of air, something akin to a scoff. "We need this to be about your bucket list and nothing else."
"I know." I kiss him. "It is. I'll prove it. Just remind me— what are the official items we still have left?"
This time, his scoff comes out clear. "Puppies."
"I love puppies."
I'm still shivering. Bear holds me close, letting me borrow his warmth.
"And the one about the dark corner in a public place," he adds. "Those are the only two official items left, as far as I remember. Am I missing anything?"
"Oh, we both know I'll think of something else on the spot."
"It's basically like I gave you a blank cheque. Good thing I trust you, I guess."
I laugh. "Well, now you're forced to use me, too. New bucket list item! Success."
He makes a face that's half-humor, half-defeat. "You're going to wreck me, aren't you?"
"I'll be good and only wreck you while we're doing this together."
He chuckles. "All right, then."
With me close in his arms, he starts the journey back out of the lake. I grin as I pepper kisses over his face. The smile grows wider, when I feel him getting hard again despite the chilly water. He slows down as we approach the sandy edge.
"Drop me," I say.
"No." He holds me closer and keeps going, until the water is no higher than his ankles.
My skin cools fast in the night breeze. Drops run down my skin. The only source of heat are the points where we touch.
"Alright, cocky man. This isn't a competition. I know you can carry me but no need to show off."
"I'll show off as much as I like."
"Just because you can bench press who knows how much—"
He laughs, but doesn't give me a number. "Hold on, Penélope."
"Everytime you say that I— ahhhh…"
With feet firmly planted on the ground, he holds me with one hand on my ass. I hang from his shoulders. I'm not sure how, but he handles his cock and, next thing I know, he enters me.
I moan. "Holy shit."
I start shivering.
"Next stop, the shower," he says. "Someone needs to warm up."
The motion of him walking rocks me on him. We're both breathing hard as he goes up the cabin stairs to the deck, then across the door, toward the back.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Leon Karlsen." I whimper. "I didn't know I could want this."
"If you're going to wreck me—" he pushes me against the shower tiles— "then at least I should try to return the favor."
He turns on the water. I gasp. He fucks me with hot water falling on us, warming up our skin as our bodies burn from within.
After, we wash each other tenderly. He helps me into bed and kisses me goodnight. I'm limp at this point, and he envelopes me with his arms and blankets until all I can do is smile and lose myself to sleep.
I don't get to tell him, but sleeping like this with him is another item off my bucket list. And another ten billion out of ten.