20. Calder
Calder
Ethan clung to me the entire ride home, his hands trembling around my waist. I felt bad that I enjoyed the physical contact when he was so clearly upset. But the guilt didn’t stop my wolf from doing little flips in my chest every time he adjusted his grip.
When we finally arrived at my place, I felt a sudden sense of anxiety.
I never brought anyone back to my house.
It was just mine and just for me. What if Ethan didn’t like it?
What if he thought I was a slob? I had a cleaning service once a month to help me out, but that didn’t stop me from worrying.
Once I let him in, he’d see me, and how I liked to live.
And for some reason, even though I knew it wasn’t appropriate given the situation, I desperately needed his approval.
I unlocked the front door and stepped aside to let Ethan enter first. He moved slowly, taking in the hardwood floors, the leather furniture, the stone fireplace that dominated one wall.
His gaze lingered on the pack meeting photos scattered across my coffee table. Shit, I'd forgotten to put those away.
"Nice place," he said, his voice still shaky from the night's events. "Very... masculine."
I moved quickly to gather the photos, but not before I caught him studying one that showed my entire pack in wolf form.
Thankfully, it was taken from a distance during a full moon run, so the details weren't clear enough to be incriminating.
"Just some hiking buddies," I said, shoving the pictures into a drawer. "We do group camping trips."
Ethan nodded absently, his attention already shifting to scan the windows, checking the locks. The fear was still rolling off him in waves, making my wolf pace restlessly. I wanted to comfort him, to pull him close and promise that nothing would hurt him while he was under my protection.
"You want something to drink?" I asked instead, needing to keep my hands busy. "Coffee? Something stronger?"
"Something stronger," he replied without hesitation. "Definitely something stronger."
I moved to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. When I returned to the living room, I found Ethan standing by the window, peering through the curtains at the street beyond.
"No one followed us," I said, handing him his glass. "And this neighborhood is secure."
He took a large gulp of whiskey, wincing slightly as it burned down his throat. "How can you be so sure?"
Because my pack patrols these streets every night. Because I can smell any intruder from a mile away. Because this is Alpha territory and any supernatural creature would know better than to trespass.
"Good security system," I said instead. "Motion sensors, cameras. The works."
Ethan nodded, but I could see he wasn't entirely convinced.
He took another sip of whiskey, then moved to my couch, sinking down heavily.
The stress of the night was catching up with him, exhaustion replacing the sharp edge of fear.
"I should probably call the police," he said, though his voice lacked conviction.
"And tell them what? That you saw a monster in your parking lot?" I sat down beside him, careful to maintain some distance. "They'll think you're having a breakdown."
His laugh was bitter. "Wouldn't be the first time."
The admission hung between us, heavy with implication. I wanted to ask what he meant, but something in his expression warned me off. Instead, I reached out and gently touched his shoulder. "You're safe here," I said simply. "That's what matters right now."
He looked at me then, those green eyes searching my face. "Why are you doing this, Calder? Helping me, I mean. After yesterday..."
“I was a fool yesterday,” I said, surprising even myself. However, the moment the word left my lips, I knew it was true. I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’ll admit, I’m struggling with this. I’ve never been interested in… you know…”
“Guys?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, leaving out the part about him being human as well and the strange irresistible mate bond forming between us. “It’s uh… kinda scary.”
Ethan's expression softened, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "I get it. Coming to terms with attraction you didn't expect... it's not easy."
"Is it that obvious?" I asked, taking a sip of my own whiskey.
"Well, straight guys don't usually kiss other men against brick walls in the pouring rain," he said with a small smile. "That was kind of a giveaway."
Heat flooded my cheeks at the memory. "Yeah, about that..."
"Look," Ethan interrupted, shifting on the couch to face me more directly. "I'm not asking you to figure everything out right now. Tonight has been... a lot. For both of us."
I nodded, grateful for his understanding. The whiskey was helping to calm my nerves, but having him here in my space, his scent filling my home, was making my wolf restless in an entirely different way.
"You can take the guest room," I said, gesturing toward the hallway. "It's got its own bathroom, fresh sheets."
"Thanks." He drained the rest of his whiskey, then set the glass down on my coffee table. "I should probably try to get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be..."
"Complicated," I finished for him.
"That's one word for it." He stood up, swaying slightly. Whether from exhaustion or alcohol, I wasn't sure. "Calder?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For coming when I called. For believing me about what I saw." His voice was quiet, vulnerable. "Most people would have thought I was crazy."
My chest tightened. If only he knew how close to the truth he really was. "Get some rest, Ethan. We'll figure this out in the morning."
He nodded and headed down the hallway, his footsteps heavy with fatigue. I listened as he moved around the guest room, heard the bathroom door close, the shower turn on. The domestic sounds of him settling into my space sent a warm satisfaction through my wolf that I tried to ignore.
I finished my whiskey and was about to head to my own bedroom when my phone buzzed. A text from Ageratum.
Scene cleaned. Council meeting tomorrow at 9am. Your request regarding the human is under review.
I stared at the message, my stomach churning. The Council would want details about Ethan, about why I thought he was worth protecting. They'd dig into his background, his research, his obsession with supernatural attacks. If they discovered how close he was to the truth...
Another buzz. This time from Trevor. Pack meeting called tomorrow night. Heard there was an incident. Everyone okay?
I typed back quickly. All handled. Will update tomorrow.
The shower had stopped running. I could hear Ethan moving around the guest room, probably getting ready for bed.
My wolf wanted to go to him, to check that he was settling in okay, but I forced myself to stay put.
The mate bond was getting stronger with every minute he spent in my house.
I could feel it pulling at me, making every breath I took fill my lungs with his scent.
It was intoxicating and terrifying all at once.
I headed to my own bedroom, but sleep felt impossible.
Every sound from the guest room made my wolf perk up with interest. The creak of the bed as he settled in, the soft sigh that escaped him as he tried to get comfortable.
I lay there staring at the ceiling, hyper aware of his presence just down the hall.
A half hour later, I heard his door open. His footsteps were in the hallway, hesitant and quiet. I sat up in bed, instantly alert.
"Calder?" His voice was barely a whisper.
"Yeah?" I called back softly.
"I... I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see that thing. Those eyes."
My wolf whined at the distress in his voice. Before I could second-guess myself, I was out of bed and padding to my bedroom door. I opened it to find Ethan standing in the hallway, wearing just a t-shirt and boxers, his hair mussed from tossing and turning. "Nightmares?" I asked.
He nodded, looking younger somehow in the dim light. "I keep thinking about what you said. About the heart. About Marcus." His voice cracked slightly. "What if I'm next?"
Every protective instinct I had flared to life. "You're not. I won't let anything happen to you."
"You can't promise that," he said, but he stepped closer anyway.
"I can and I do." The conviction in my voice surprised even me. "Nothing will hurt you while you're under my protection."
He was close enough now that I could see the fear still lingering in his green eyes, and could smell the anxiety clinging to his skin. Without thinking, I reached out and cupped his face in my hands.
"Trust me," I whispered.
His eyes fluttered closed at my touch, and he leaned into my palm. "I don't know why, but I do."
The simple admission broke something loose in my chest. This beautiful, brave man was putting his faith in me despite barely knowing me. Despite the danger swirling around us both.
"Come here," I said, pulling him gently toward my bedroom.
He followed without question, and I guided him to my bed. The sheets were warm from where I'd been lying, and I pulled them back for him to climb in. He hesitated for just a moment before sliding under the covers.
"Just to sleep," I said, though my voice was rougher than intended. "You'll feel safer."
I climbed in beside him, maintaining a careful distance even as my wolf howled at me to pull him close. But Ethan had other ideas. He shifted across the space between us, pressing his back against my chest.
"Is this okay?"
I let out a low whine without meaning to. “Y-Yeah.”
My arm came up instinctively, wrapping around his waist to pull him closer.
The contact sent electricity through every nerve ending, my wolf practically purring with satisfaction at finally having our mate in our arms. Ethan's scent surrounded me completely now, that earthy sweetness that had been driving me crazy since the moment I'd first caught it.
"Better?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded against my chest, some of the tension finally leaving his body. "Much better."
I tried to focus on anything other than the warmth of his skin through the thin cotton of his t-shirt, the way his hair tickled my chin, the steady rhythm of his breathing as he began to relax.
But it was impossible. Every sense was hyper aware of him, cataloging every detail like my life depended on it.
"Calder?" His voice was drowsy now, sleep finally claiming him.
"Mmm?"
"Whatever happens tomorrow... Thank you for tonight."
My arm tightened around him involuntarily. "Don't thank me yet."
But he was already drifting off, his breathing evening out as exhaustion finally won. I lay there in the darkness, listening to his heartbeat slow to the steady rhythm of sleep, trying to ignore the way my body was responding to his closeness.
This was dangerous. Not just because of the Council or the rogue wolf, but because every minute I spent with Ethan made the mate bond stronger. Made it harder to imagine a future without him in it. And that was a luxury I couldn't afford.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. Another text from Ageratum.
Council wants to meet with you first thing. Come alone. The human stays put.
I stared at the message, my jaw clenching. They were going to want answers I couldn't give. Explanations that would expose everything I was trying to protect. But I had no choice. If I wanted to keep Ethan safe, I had to play their game.
At least until I figured out how to change the rules.