Chapter 11
It had taken Yang two buses to get to Stacey’s flat. He’d given himself an hour, worrying he was going to be late, cursing himself the whole way there. How had he got himself into this situation? He’d only offered to babysit for Stacey because he hoped to get on her good side, but then she’d used his offer to accept a date with a single dad from outside school! Oh, the irony! He could only hope the date went really badly. Then it might have been all worth it.
He eventually got off the bus with his guitar slung over his shoulder and a bag full of Chinese food clutched in his hand. His mother had insisted on him bringing it the minute she learned that he was heading over to Stacey’s.
‘I don’t need to take food,’ said Yang to his mother. ‘It’s not a date. She’s going on a date and I’m staying at home and looking after her daughter.’
‘No harm in it, though, is there? The date might go badly and Stacey will come back hungry and there you will be, ready to console her with Kung Pao Chicken.’
Yang realised what a horrible mistake he’d made the minute Stacey opened the door to her flat.
She looked utterly amazing. Like, next level. Her dark hair was in an updo and she was wearing a dark green fitted knee-length dress with high heels. Yang’s jaw literally dropped. However, attached to her right leg was a small child, wailing. Stacey looked frazzled and close to tears.
‘Hi, Yang,’ she said. ‘Come in.’ She shuffled to let him past with Grace still attached to her leg. He walked down the narrow hall and into a small lounge. Stacey trudged behind him, pulling Grace with her.
Stacey had a look of sheer desperation on her face.
‘Erm, I’m not sure I’ll be needing you after all,’ she began, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. ‘Grace has been like this for the last hour. She doesn’t want me to go out. I was just about to call Will to cancel.’
Good idea, thought Yang. Let’s just stay in, the three of us, and eat Chinese food.
He looked at Stacey as another tear slipped down her face. She looked absolutely devastated. He gave a big sigh.
He turned to Grace. ‘So, I’ll take this Chinese food back with me then, shall I?’ he asked her. ‘It’s a shame because I was looking forward to sharing some prawn crackers with you.’
‘What are prawn crackers?’ she asked. ‘Crackers you put prawns on?’
‘Have you never had prawn crackers?’ asked Yang.
‘No. I have cheese crackers and we take crackers to Nana’s at Christmas, but me and Mum pull them all because Nana’s usually asleep. Are prawn crackers like Christmas crackers? Do you get a present with them. Is the prawn a present? Do you get free prawns with the crackers?’
Yang sat down on the sofa and put the white plastic bag on the coffee table in front of him. He opened the bag and looked inside, then looked back up at Grace.
‘Why don’t you come and try one with me?’ He pulled out the paper bag of prawn crackers, took one out and put it in his mouth. ‘The thing I really like about prawn crackers is that they crackle on your tongue, sort of like very quiet popping candy.’
‘I love popping candy,’ said Grace, letting go of her mother’s leg and stepping forward to take a prawn cracker. ‘But Mum won’t let me eat it. She says it makes me crazy. Which is stupid.’ She put the cracker in her mouth and smiled. ‘You’re right, it is like quiet popping candy,’ she said. She looked up at her mum. ‘Look, I’m not going crazy,’ she said to her.
Stacey smiled a watery smile. ‘No, you look remarkably not crazy,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you go and get some plates for you and Yang, and if you ask him nicely he might let you try some other Chinese food.’
‘Will I like Chinese food?’ Grace asked him.
‘Er, yes,’ said Yang. ‘Chinese food makes people happy so you’re bound to like it.’
Grace skipped off through a door into what must be the kitchen.
Yang looked up at Stacey. There were tears in her eyes again. ‘Thank you,’ she said, putting her hands together in gratitude. ‘That was … erm, amazing. You are so good with kids.’
Yang shrugged. ‘As I said, years of practice with nephews and nieces. It’s fine. You go. Enjoy, OK?’
‘Thank you. I won’t be late.’
Yang shrugged again.
Stacey nodded. ‘Great. I really do appreciate this.’
Grace came back in, balancing two plates and a bottle of ketchup. ‘Haven’t you gone yet?’ she said to her mum.
‘I’m just going,’ laughed Stacey.
‘Don’t let Isaac’s dad touch you,’ added Grace. ‘Promise.’
Yang raised his eyebrows at Stacey.
‘Understood,’ replied Stacey, giving her daughter a small salute. She turned and fled. Yang heard the door bang behind her.
‘Isaac’s dad is an utter bastard,’ said Grace as she laid out the two plates on the coffee table.
Yang decided it wasn’t his place to correct her language.
‘How do you know that?’ he asked, getting cartons out of the bag.
‘Isaacs’s mum said so,’ she replied. ‘She says it most days when she picks up Isaac.’
‘Right, well, maybe she just thinks that. Maybe he’s actually all right.’
‘No, Evie’s mum said so, too.’
‘How does she know?’
‘I think she went out with him and it didn’t go well.’
‘OK …’ said Yang. ‘Do you like sweet and sour?’
‘Well, I like sour sweets so I think yes.’
‘Not really the same, but I tell you what, I’ll put a little on the side and you can try it and tell me what you think.’
Grace nodded. She looked at Yang. ‘I like you,’ she said.
‘Thank you,’ replied Yang. ‘I like you too.’
‘Will you kiss my mummy?’
Yang spat his sweet and sour chicken out so it landed on the carpet.
‘Mummy won’t like that,’ said Grace, jumping up and running into the kitchen. She came back out with a kitchen roll. ‘You’d better clean it up or else she won’t want to kiss you.’
He tore off a piece of kitchen roll and reached down to gather up the stray chicken.
‘I don’t think me and your mum will be kissing,’ said Yang.
‘Why not?’
‘Well, because we’re not in a relationship.’
‘You could be. I’d like you to be my new daddy. As long as you keep bringing me prawn crackers.’
‘Grace, me and your mum are work colleagues. That’s it. In any case, she’s out on a date, you know. Clearly she likes Isaac’s dad, so he’s more likely to become your new dad than me.’
‘I don’t want a bastard to be my new dad,’ said Grace. ‘I’d like you to be my new dad.’
Yang looked at Grace. Boy, was she a piece of work. No wonder Stacey was always frazzled.
‘Can I show you my donkey costume in a bit?’ she asked.
‘Sure,’ said Yang, relieved to get onto safer ground. ‘I’d like that.’
‘Would you?’
‘Of course. Your mum has been talking about your donkey costume loads at work. So, you know, it would be good to actually see it.’
‘Why have you brought a guitar?’ she said, pointing at the guitar leaning against the sofa.
‘Because I play and I thought I might be able to have a practice whilst I’m here.’
‘Will you play for me?’
‘Sure,’ said Yang. ‘Will you be critical?’
‘I’ll tell you if I like it or hate it. I’ll tell you if it sucks.’
‘Perfect,’ said Yang.
Yang had taken Grace through his entire repertoire by the time Stacey came home. Her critique had been in depth for each song.
‘Too slushy.’
‘Yuck.’
‘Average.’
‘What does “clandestine” mean? Is it a made-up word?’
‘The first bit was good, but then it went downhill.’
‘Scrap it. It will never catch on.’
‘Well, thank you very much, Simon Cowell,’ said Yang after a while. ‘Really useful feedback.’
‘Is that it?’
‘Thought you weren’t enjoying my songs.’
‘I’m not, but I think this is helpful for you.’
‘Yes, it’s really deflating my ego. Thanks so much for that.’
‘You are welcome. Do you have a song about a donkey?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t have deep feelings for donkeys. Not deep enough to write a song about them.’
‘I would if I could. I love them. Donkey love is the best kind of love.’
Yang smiled and struck a chord. Then he started to croon.
Donkey Love … is the best kind of love.
Donkey Love … is everlasting love.
Donkey Love … beats any kind of love.
Donkey Love … is all you need.
‘I love it!’ shrieked Grace. ‘Why didn’t you sing that one before, instead of all the rubbish ones?’
‘I’ve just made it up. That’s why.’
‘What now?’
‘Yes.’
‘Sing it again, sing it again! It’s my favourite song in the whole entire universe.’
Donkey Love … is the best kind of love.
Donkey Love … is everlasting love.
Donkey Love … beats any kind of love.
Donkey love … is all you need.
‘It’s sooo good,’ Grace shrieked again, jumping up and down. ‘You could be the next Taylor Swift with that song. I’ve got a ukulele. Will you teach me how to play it on that?’
By the time Stacey walked through the door with Isaac’s dad, Grace had helped Yang add another verse, which seemed to be just a repeat of the key lyric ‘Donkeys made Jesus so let’s all adopt a donkey.’
‘Are you still up?’ said Stacey as she walked in.
‘Mum, Mum, Mum, we wrote a song about donkeys!’ shouted Grace as she hurled herself at her mother.
‘Lovely,’ said Stacey. ‘But you really should be in bed.’
‘We need to sing it for you NOW,’ demanded Grace. ‘Please, Mummy, please.’
‘OK, OK,’ said Stacey. ‘Have you said hello to Isaac’s dad?’ She indicated the tall slim man standing behind her in designer jeans and purple cashmere sweater under a smart black three-quarter-length coat. He looked and smelled expensive. Yang hadn’t liked the sound of Will and he definitely didn’t like the look of him. Too good looking and too well dressed. Everything that Yang thought he wasn’t.
‘Hello, Isaac’s dad,’ said Grace, not even looking at him, but rushing over to stand beside Yang.
‘Will, this is Yang,’ said Stacey.
Will nodded at Yang and offered his hand to shake. ‘Thanks for babysitting,’ he said. ‘If you fancy earning some more money, I’m always looking for someone to look after my boy when he stays with me.’
‘Oh, no, this is just a favour,’ said Yang. ‘A one-off. I work with Stacey.’
‘Oh, I see,’ said Will. ‘Well, never mind. The offer’s there if you ever fancy it.’ He held up a bottle of wine. ‘Where are your glasses?’ he asked Stacey.
‘I’ll get them,’ she replied. ‘You take a seat. I won’t be a moment.’
Grace was virtually sitting on Yang’s knee by now, openly staring at Will, who had sat himself down and was checking out the room.
‘Did you have a good evening?’ asked Yang.
‘Shhhh,’ whispered Grace through gritted teeth. ‘Don’t make him feel welcome. He’s an utter bastard, remember.’
That got Will’s attention.
‘She’s erm … seven,’ said Yang, trying not to laugh.
‘Isaac said you were a lively girl,’ Will said, trying to smile.
Stacey sailed in with three wine glasses and put them down on the table.
‘None for me, thanks,’ said Yang. ‘I really should go.’
‘Please can we sing our donkey song first?’ said Grace. ‘You must hear it. It’s by far Yang’s best song.’
Stacey looked at Yang. ‘I didn’t know you were a singer.’
‘Well, you know,’ said Yang. ‘Just a little.’
‘He’s amazing,’ said Grace, ‘the best singer in the whole world.’
‘You didn’t say that earlier,’ Yang said to Grace.
‘I did so. Tell him to sing, Mummy. You have to hear him sing.’
‘Only if he wants to,’ she replied. ‘I’m sure he wants to get out of here.’
‘You’ll play our song, won’t you?’ said Grace. She nudged him. Yang picked up his guitar.
‘You need to sing too,’ he told Grace. ‘Don’t leave me hanging. After three. One, two, three.’
Donkey Love … is the best kind of love.
Donkey Love … is everlasting love.
Donkey Love … beats any kind of love.
Donkey Love … is all you need.
Grace and Yang sat and sang their song while Stacey smiled broadly and Will stroked the back of her leg. He barely looked at them as they sang their hearts out about donkeys. Yang decided that Grace was absolutely right. Will probably was an utter bastard.
As soon as he had struck the last chord, Yang got up ready to leave and started to pack his guitar away.
‘It’s the best song, isn’t it?’ Grace asked her mother.
‘It’s great, really is,’ smiled Stacey. ‘Sounds like you have had a good time.’
‘I’d better go,’ said Yang. ‘Places to go, people to see and all that.
‘It’s been a very interesting night,’ he said to Grace. He offered his hand to shake and she took it.
‘It’s been the best fun. I liked everything about it,’ she stated. ‘Don’t bother with the black bean stuff, though, next time. Not great unless you smother it in ketchup.’
‘I’ll pass that on to my father,’ he said. ‘He’s only been cooking that dish for forty years.’
‘You’ll come and babysit again, won’t you?’ Grace said.
Yang looked over at Stacey. She mouthed a sorry.
‘We’ll see,’ he replied. ‘Keep singing our donkey song.’
‘I’m going to sing it at school on Monday,’ she announced.
‘Magic,’ said Yang, edging past her to the door.
‘Now go and brush your teeth,’ said Stacey, ‘whilst I say bye to Yang.
‘You OK?’ she asked Will, who had already knocked back a glass of wine.
He nodded and reached forward to pour another glass.
At the door, Stacey hugged Yang, to his surprise.
‘Thank you so much,’ she said. ‘Can’t tell you how grateful I am. Just … well … to go out and have adult company. It’s just brilliant. I’ve had such a good night, I can’t tell you. Will is great, isn’t he?’
Yang glanced through the door to Will, who had kicked his shoes off and was pointing the remote control at the TV.
Yang nodded. ‘It’s been fun. With Grace, I mean. She’s fun to be with. She made me laugh.’
‘You don’t have to say that,’ she told him. ‘She can be difficult.’
‘I mean it. I see where she gets her bluntness from.’
Stacey smiled. ‘I think I get it from her.’
‘Sorry about the donkey song. I think you might be hearing it a lot.’
‘I’m sure I will, but it’s put a smile on her face so I will enjoy it. The first twenty times.’
‘Well, enjoy the rest of your evening,’ said Yang, nodding awkwardly.
‘Thanks again,’ smiled. Stacey. ‘Really actually very good of you.’ She looked confused. They smiled awkwardly at each other.
‘Good. Well, I’ll see you Monday,’ said Yang.
‘Will do. Bye then.’
‘Say good night to Grace.’
‘I will. Bye, Yang.’