Chapter 17
Jolene had decided that she would wear her elf jumper again today for the meeting with the General Manager of the London Eye – the one with the hat stitched to it and with a real bell. She thought it would be fitting.
Diane, however, gave her a frosty glare when they met outside the enormous wheel on the edge of the River Thames. The wind was howling down the South Bank and Diane was wearing a smart long black overcoat and did not look too chuffed to be going to a meeting with someone dressed for a Christmas party.
‘Shall we go?’ said Diane. She looked Jolene up and down and then sighed. ‘Let’s get this over with, shall we? Have you brought your PowerPoint presentation?’
Jolene jumped round, revealing a bright yellow rucksack on her back. ‘In the bag,’ she said. ‘In the bag.’
‘Right, let’s go,’ said Diane. ‘I’ll do the introductions and then you hit her with it, OK, Jolene?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Jolene, grinning. What a cool meeting this was going to be, she thought. A meeting with the General Manager of the London Eye alongside super boss Diane. She was actually starting to enjoy her job.
She wasn’t loving it so much about twenty minutes later, when Barbara Vasey looked totally uninterested whilst Jolene took her through her presentation. She looked to Diane for help, but she was just staring out of the window. Jolene could feel the event slipping through her fingers. She completed her run-through of the magical journey that the children of Chilwell Primary School would go on, courtesy of the London Eye, but she could sense by the look on Barbara’s face that perhaps she didn’t see it as quite so magical.
‘It sounds totally wonderful,’ said Barbara, leaning forward, ‘and really there’s nothing we would like to do better than—’
‘It really is a great opportunity,’ said Diane, turning her gaze onto Barbara.
‘I know it is, but—’ said Barbara.
‘I mean, we probably should be charging you for this really, but I guess if you cover your costs then that’s OK?’
‘Charging us?’
‘Such a brilliant new product idea, isn’t it, that Jolene here has brought to you?’
‘I’m not sure—’
‘I mean, if my daughter was younger then it would be something I would have had to do for her. I would imagine every child would want to go on an elf-escorted journey to see Santa Claus, using the one and only London Eye as their magical transport. It would be the best way to see Santa in the whole of the city. Think about how much you could charge for that? I wonder that you haven’t thought of it before, and here we are, bringing it to you complete with publicity thrown in. What a way to launch a new product. By giving exclusive preview trips to the children of Bermondsey.’
Jolene watched as Barbara stared at Diane.
‘I mean, I think the publicity could be great for you,’ continued Diane, ‘and it really is good that we keep relations between the council and yourselves on a positive note, seeing as your planning permission will be up for renewal in a few years’ time.’
Barbara remained silent. Jolene sensed that she should also remain silent. She wasn’t sure entirely what was happening but she felt a shift in the atmosphere of the room. Barbara was now fully engaged. Not distracted by her phone or her computer on her desk. She looked at Jolene, which she took as her cue.
‘It’s for the children,’ said Jolene, ‘and what could be better than putting a smile on children’s faces at Christmas?’
Barbara leaned back. ‘You can have two capsules at 5.30 p.m. the Thursday before Christmas. That’s it. You need to be off the premises by 7 p.m. My press officer will be in touch and she’ll be given free rein to invite whatever press she deems fit for photos of all participants. Consent forms to be issued for us to be able to use photographs of the event on our website and in our brochure. Understood?’
Jolene was about to reply with a massive yes before Diane cut in. ‘Totally understood.’ She rested her hand gently on Jolene’s arm, warning her not to speak. ‘Right, we’ve used up enough of your time,’ said Diane, getting up. She held out her hand to Barbara. ‘A pleasure doing business with you.’
‘Likewise,’ nodded Barbara.
‘Just make sure you stick to the times I’ve stated,’ said Barbara. ‘I don’t want to be paying a chunk of overtime.’
‘Of course,’ replied Jolene. ‘Oh my goodness, you are both the most amazing people I have ever met,’ she said, jumping up and down and attempting to hug them both at the same time. ‘A-Ma-Zing – that’s what you are.’
‘Time to go,’ said Diane. ‘Come on, Jolene, we’ve taken up too much of Brenda’s time already.’
‘It’s Barbara,’ said Barbara.
‘Yes, yes, of course,’ said Diane, ushering Jolene out of the office. ‘Come on, let’s go. Bye, Barbara.’
‘Bye, amazing lady,’ Jolene shouted behind her. ‘I love you!’
They were back out on the street by the time Diane and Jolene next spoke, the gigantic frame of the London Eye, behind them, effortlessly sending countless people into the sky.
‘I knew we could do it,’ said Jolene. ‘Just knew it. You were brilliant in there. I have no idea what you were talking about but you were amazing.’
Diane faced Jolene with the same grim look on her face as she’d had on before the meeting.
‘Sometimes, Jolene,’ she said, ‘when you want something from someone, you just have to work out what’s in it for them.’
Jolene thought about Diane’s words.
‘Understood,’ she said. ‘I’ll make a note of that. Brilliant. Just the elves and Father Christmas to sort out now.’
Diane looked at Jolene and then at her watch. Why not, she thought. Might as well see if they can do something about those elves right now, whilst they were out and about. She took her phone out of her pocket and called Leon. He didn’t pick up. She looked at her watch again. The matinée was due to start in a couple of hours. He should be at the theatre. They could probably catch him there, and if she took Jolene with her then that would hopefully avoid any awkward conversation.
‘Let’s go see about those elves right now, shall we?’ she said, striding along the South Bank back towards the tube.
Diane’s heart was pounding at a terrific pace as she approached the theatre. It was lunchtime but she knew there was only one place to find Leon, and if they were going to secure the elves they may as well do it now whilst she wasn’t taking no for an answer. Maybe there were a few questions she should be asking Leon whilst she was here as well. They had avoided each other ever since the standoff in the lounge. Since then, he’d been lying in each morning before she went out and coming home ever later. Her mind felt like a lead weight on her shoulders, his words haunting her, spinning round and round in her head until she felt physically sick.
She couldn’t get out of her mind how it had felt the moment he’d told her that he had turned down an affair. The most surreal, bizarre moment she had ever felt in her entire life. She was trying desperately to come to terms with the fact that the moment – the very split second – he told her he had rejected the opportunity to go with someone else, her heart had sunk. Yes, sunk, until her brain had kicked in and told her stupid heart not to be so ridiculous and react in a sane, rational way like a normal wife. She should be beside herself with relief that he had put a stop to it, shouldn’t she? Happy that he’d probably had sex offered to him on a plate and he had turned it down despite the fact she could not remember the last time they had had sex. This was a golden opportunity to reassess their marriage, make a new start, put the spark back in, as it were. This was their second chance to make each other happy.
And yet she could not shake off that split second of disappointment that he hadn’t said yes to whoever the woman was who had offered herself to him. That he hadn’t taken that route, giving her the perfect exit from her marriage. Guilt free, decision-making free. Oh, yes, my husband had an affair and so I had to leave him – of course I did.
Her husband having an affair would put an end to the long-standing narrative in her head in which she constantly wrangled with herself as to whether she was happy or not. Her husband having an affair would answer that question. She would no longer have to lie in bed in the middle of the night, wondering what had happened to her life, wondering why she woke up miserable. It would knock out the massive unanswered question, which was whether she was happy in her marriage.
She wasn’t unhappy, she thought, but neither did it give her happiness. Her heart didn’t sing when Leon walked in the room, but then she put that down to nearly twenty years of marriage. Domesticity and the need to pay bills and raise a daughter and decide who cleaned the toilets and who did the washing up and who organised his sister’s kids’ birthday presents. All the logistical stuff was sure to knock the stuffing out of any marriage, and yet everyone had that, right? Everyone had stuff to manage between them, and yet they stuck with it, got some kind of joy out of it, to make it all worthwhile.
But try as she might, she couldn’t find that joy. They never saw each other, for a start. Leon’s work hours totally contradicted hers and he showed no desire to make any changes to rectify that. As such, their brief exchanges were crammed with logistics planning and the passing on of messages. No time for pleasantries or just chat. Not at midnight when he finally rolled in after a performance.
As for intimacy – well, it was a relief to her that as menopause set in and her libido took a holiday, so had his. He’d not reached out to her as he fumbled into bed in the middle of the night in a very long time. It suited her down to the ground, but it did nothing to help their flagging relationship, just deepened the divide between them until they became literally just like ships that passed in the night.
Until Monday night. When they had had the most direct conversation in years. When more honesty had passed between them than in an entire decade. When he’d admitted to being tempted by an affair but he had turned it down. Much, as it turned out, to her disappointment.
She headed through the doors of the theatre with Jolene, in her elf jumper, trailing behind her. She’d promised Jolene some elves and she would have to deliver now, by hook or by crook. Focus on that. Sort her failing marriage out later.
‘This is, like, the best day of my life,’ said Jolene, looking round in wonder at the ornate entrance hall to the theatre. ‘But can I ask what we’re doing here?’
‘We’re here to get your elves,’ said Diane.
Jolene looked at her in wide-eyed astonishment. ‘Are you kidding me?’
‘Hopefully not,’ said Diane, pushing through the doors to the back of the stalls. She hoped she would catch Leon unawares as they prepped for the matinée performance.
She looked down the auditorium and could see the back of Leon’s head alongside two others in an otherwise empty auditorium. She strutted down the aisle as Snow White and her ‘elves’ did a number on stage: the one Shelley had been struggling with when Diane last came to the theatre.
‘Diane,’ said Leon, standing up. Diane didn’t stop as she continued to the front of the stage and sat herself down on the front row next to Leon and a man she didn’t know. Jolene sat down beside her.
‘Still the most exciting day of my life,’ she whispered to Diane.
‘What are you doing?’ Leon leaned over and asked.
‘No worries,’ said Diane. ‘We won’t get in the way. I just need to ask you to have a word with your elves.’
‘About what?’ asked Leon.
‘A party,’ said Jolene helpfully.
‘Who’s that,’ mouthed Leon to Diane.
‘Jolene.’
‘Jolene?’
‘Jolene.’
‘Joleeeeeene,’ grinned Jolene.
‘What party?’ asked Leon.
‘Well,’ said Diane, ‘it’s not really about a party. I’m actually here to do you a big favour as well as you helping me out, for a change.’
Leon looked sheepish. ‘Go on,’ he said.
‘So you said you were struggling to sell tickets for the show after Christmas.’
‘They’re a bit sluggish,’ said Leon.
‘Then I might have a PR opportunity for you.’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘We’re organising a party for the mayor, who wants a photo op with the local kids. Anyway, we’re going to take them on a ride on the London Eye to see Santa Claus, and Jolene here had this idea that it would be great to have elves as their escorts. Brilliant photo op for your show. The press officer for the Eye is already on it. They’ve seen the potential for a new experience, but we could use it to promote your show too.’
Jolene leaned round and waved at Leon. Diane slapped her hand down.
‘Why are you doing this?’ asked Leon.
‘It’s a long story. Jolene promised the mayor elves, and so I thought you could help. You owe me, after all.’
‘When do you need them?’
‘Next Thursday at 5.30 p.m. for an hour tops. You should have plenty of time to get back to the theatre.’
Leon stared at her. The number that Snow White and the seven elves had been doing on the stage came to an end and everyone looked expectantly at Leon.
Leon stood up.
‘OK,’ he said, addressing his cast. ‘First things first. This is my wife, Diane. She does a really important job for the council.’ He glanced back at her. She pulled a face. ‘Anyway, she’s organising a party on the London Eye. Who wants to go? You need to be in costume and happy to have your photo taken by the press.’
‘Oh, yeah,’ said one of the cast. ‘I’ll do anything for the press.’ He struck a model pose, making everyone laugh.
‘Is it free?’ asked one of the elves near the front of the stage.
‘Yes,’ replied Leon. ‘You’ll need to chat to some kids but I’m sure you’ll see eye-to-eye on that one.’
‘Aaah, very funny, boss,’ said the elf, chuckling. ‘Count me in. We can all do that, can’t we?’ he asked his fellow actors.
They all seemed to agree.
‘Right – good,’ he said, turning back to Diane. ‘I think you have your elves.’
‘Thank you,’ nodded Diane, getting up to leave. ‘Her breathing still isn’t right,’ she said, nodding at Snow White, waiting patiently in the middle of the stage. ‘It’s better, but the last few bars still need work.’
Leon looked at her and nodded. She brushed past him and he caught her arm.
‘Show her,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘Get on that stage and show her how it’s done.’ He looked up at the stage. ‘My wife is here again, Shelley,’ he called. ‘Don’t you think it would be useful to hear her sing it? She agrees it’s better, but the last few bars need work.’
‘Oh, would she? That would be amazing,’ said Snow White. ‘Honestly.’
‘No,’ said Diane, shaking her head. ‘No, I have to get on. We need to go back to the office.’
‘Please, Diane,’ asked Leon.
Diane looked back at him and couldn’t help herself. It just came out. ‘Why should I do anything for you?’
The air was so loaded between them it was unreal. She wondered what it was going to take to clear it. It wouldn’t happen here, of course, not in front of the cast of Snow White and the Seven Elves . Heaven knew, the person Leon rejected could be in the room. She looked round for Amy, the assistant director.
‘Don’t do it for me,’ he said. ‘Do it for you. And do it for a young woman starting out in the business who is asking for your help.’
‘You can sing?’ gasped Jolene, unable to contain herself. ‘I never knew that.’
‘She used to be a West End performer,’ Leon told her. ‘One of the best. Come on, Diane. Please sing,’ he said, taking her hand and leading her towards the steps at the side of the stage.
Before she knew it, Snow White was handing her her scarlet cloak, which Diane took and wrapped around her shoulders. Leon handed her the sheet music and she took a deep breath, looking out at the empty auditorium. She glanced back at the real Snow White and said, ‘Come, hold my hand. I’ll squeeze your hand when I take a breath. Might help?’
Shelley stepped forward gratefully and they both took centre stage.
The music struck up from the orchestra and Diane glanced down at the notes on the page, although she knew she didn’t really need them. Jolene was beaming up at her, already enraptured. She’d better not disappoint, she decided. Maybe she should try to enjoy it. Make the most of it. Because it sure as hell was never going to happen again.
The first couple of notes were a bit shaky. She stumbled and asked the orchestra to stop and start again.
If in doubt, belt it out, she told herself. She drew another deep breath and indeed belted it out this time, singing from deep in her chest, all her training coming back to her. She soon found herself getting lost in the moment, the notes flying to her lips and coming out into the air in a most pleasing fashion. She dropped Shelley’s hand and started to deploy her arms and her whole body, reinforcing the depth of feeling in the notes. She felt the adrenalin flow through her body and she went to another place, her happy place, which she had not been to in a very long time. Lost in the music, lost in the feeling of the sound flowing through her body. Lost in her sole focus of trying to convey the emotion of the words through song.
The key change went exceptionally well. It could have been tricky and tripped her up, but she dealt with it and felt herself building to the inevitable crescendo of the song that musical theatre was so adept at. She took a step forward to the front of the stage, trying to connect further with her minuscule audience. Make them believe in her, Snow White, who had found her love and family in the party of elves and yet still felt alone. She sang of her longing to find true love for herself, something that was hers. Entirely hers. Diane knew she was singing a song that was about longing for a prince to come and rescue her. Except Diane wasn’t singing about being rescued by a man in her own mind. With all her heart she was singing about something – anything – that might rescue her from her dissatisfaction with her life. She didn’t know what it was but she knew she needed to be rescued.
The last line of the song was ‘Bring me my love.’
She took a deep breath and belted out the line with all the emotion of a middle-aged woman who needed love in her life and she had no idea where she was going to find it.
She raised her hands in the air on the last note and closed her eyes putting all her power into it. The note ran out, the orchestra stopped and there was silence.
Then there was a standing ovation.
She opened her eyes to see her tiny audience grinning from ear to ear and clapping their hearts out.
Next minute, Jolene was up on stage beside her, hugging her and jumping up and down.
‘Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing!’ she shouted at the top of her voice.
‘Thank you,’ blushed Diane.
She looked over and Leon was clapping his hands with the rest of them. Looking proud, she thought. That felt kind of nice.
‘Tremendous,’ said Leon. ‘You’ve not lost it at all.’
‘Thank you,’ said Diane, feeling quite emotional. She was still really stuck in the song, still in the moment.
‘I’d forgotten how good you were,’ continued Leon.
He’d forgotten a lot of things about the way she used to be, she thought. They locked eyes.
‘It’s a long time ago,’ she replied.
He nodded. ‘It reminded me of when you were in Cabaret . You weren’t the star but you should have been. You stopped the show, literally. She stopped the show,’ he told the mini audience. ‘You should have got a lead at some point,’ Leon told her. ‘You really should.’
‘Maybe I would have done if I hadn’t given up,’ she replied.
Their eyes locked again.
Leon blinked first.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t.
Leon turned to Jolene. ‘Did I see you filming it?’ he asked her.
Jolene nodded vigorously, sending her hat bell chiming away.
‘Sure did,’ said Jolene. ‘Can’t wait to show everyone at the office.’
‘No,’ said Diane, ‘I think that really I—’
‘Could I have a copy?’ asked Leon. ‘I, er … it will be useful for us to watch for Shelley’s breathing. Is that OK?’ He looked at Diane.
‘Sure,’ she shrugged. ‘Do what you like.’
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘And I’ll make sure I get all the elves to you.’
‘Thanks,’ she shrugged. She took off the Snow White robe and handed it back to Shelley with a big sigh. She walked off the stage and headed straight down the side aisle, Jolene running to catch up with her.
‘I cannot believe how good you were,’ said Jolene. ‘Honestly, amazing. Why did you give up? Did you stop enjoying it?’
Diane stopped in her tracks and stared at Jolene.
‘Stop enjoying it?’ she gasped. ‘Never. It was the love of my life.’ She remembered she’d said that before, quite recently, but she couldn’t remember who to. Must be something to do with middle-age, all this yearning for times gone by. She took one last look at the stage then turned back to Jolene. ‘Now, let’s go back to my real job, shall we? I need to decide whether to cancel next Christmas for the whole of Bermondsey.’