Chapter 2
We can get shit-faced back at yours
Morgan
For the millionth time in less than twenty minutes, I look around the church hall, desperately trying to avoid everyone’s gaze. I get why they’re looking this way; I’m sitting next to the birthday girl, but it rattles me in a way I don’t understand.
“Drink up,” Holly tells me, wiggling her eyebrows with a huge, encouraging grin.
A few beads of water trickle down the side of my glass before I look at her. “Remind me what this is.”
“Al-co-hol,” she says, annunciating every syllable like I’m dumb.
“I know it’s alcohol, I mean, what is it? Rum? Vodka? I can’t tell.”
Holly inspects her drink, which looks just like mine. “It’s a Mojito. Your favourite.” She tugs at the end of her bright pink skirt.
I look at my glass. “You really think we should be drinking in a church hall?” There’s got to be some sort of rule against it.
Holly looks at me deadpan. “If they didn’t want us drinking at my birthday party—which they chose to hold in the church hall—then they shouldn’t have done it here. Should they?”
She’s got a point. “Guess not.”
She nods down at my glass. “Get that in you. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”
My eyes scrunch. “Meaning?”
Holly’s eyes scan the room, and I watch my best friend’s cheeks pull high on her face. “Don’t act dumb.”
“What?”
She turns in her seat to face me. “You know what I’m talking about,” she says, like I’m in the loop with her internal thoughts.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Hols.” I widen my eyes at her.
She gives me a non-serious shake of her head.
“Two weeks in the sun and you’re acting like a new woman.
We really need to sort you getting a phone because I could have texted and pre-warned you about him coming back.
” When I give her no indication of being on the same page as her, she adds, “Paddy,” before she’s straightening her spine.
Oh.
I’m thrown back to my childhood, the familiar ache in my chest present at the mere mention of his name. “Right,” I reply, trying to keep my voice even. I remember Fi mentioning it, but I’d forgotten. I also don’t mention the phone thing because it’s simple. I don’t want one.
Holly balks. “Is that all you’ve got to say? Please don’t try to bullshit me right now. You have had a crush on He-man since primary school.” She gives me a playful nudge, grinning at her name for him.
So what if Paddy was always the hero in my stories?
Forcing a smile, I then take a sip of my drink, recoiling as soon as I swallow the bitter taste.
“Problem?” Holly asks, watching me with an unsure look in her eyes.
“These aren’t my favourite anymore.” I put my glass on the table with a shudder, noticing a few more people looking our way. Pulling down the sleeves of my jumper like it’s some sort of barrier, I look at Holly. “And anyway, everyone crushed on him. I was no different.”
“Nonsense.” Holly disregards my objections, then pulls out her lip gloss, applying a light layer. “Are you looking forward to seeing him?”
I catch my mother watching me before her gaze falls to the drink on the table and I see the mild shake of her head. “I suppose so.” I look down at my hands, twisting my fingers together. It’s been a while since we were all here.
I can’t deny that seeing Paddy again after all these years will be nice. But I heard he was completely done with this place. I imagine he’ll be gone before we know it.
Scanning the crowd, most people are deep in conversation, drinks in hand. Their voices rise and fall like waves, matching the easy vibe being created by the low lighting and gentle music.
When my neighbour walks past, I smile politely, but the gesture never reaches him.
He nods stiffly, and uncertainty presses against my chest. It feels like I’m at a party I was invited to, but no one really wants to include me.
I should be used to it by now, though.
Every year we celebrate Holly’s birthday like it’s her last. It’s totally normal for our small little village to celebrate everything like the queen is coming, but it’s exhausting. Seriously.
I don’t blame Paddy for not coming back every year.
I don’t blame anyone for not coming back here, actually.
It’s a lot, especially when you have parents like mine who like to dictate your every move.
Even though I’m a few weeks away from turning twenty-one, I’m still dancing their dance.
One thing’s for sure: they won’t have to worry about a big, fancy party to celebrate my birthday.
It will be dinner at ours, followed by a rewatch of my favourite TV show.
Then, who knows, once it’s over, I could try giving my writing another go?
“Well, it’s not just him. June was telling my mum that this year, Lottie and Anna have driven in from their around the UK travels. Please. If you’re going to go travelling, actually go somewhere worth seeing, like Australia or Europe, for God’s sake.”
A snicker leaves me. “I wouldn’t mind seeing more of the UK.” I sip my drink, forgetting I hate it.
Holly tuts. “Yeah, but that’s because you haven’t made it out of here properly.”
“I’ve literally just been on holiday for two weeks.” My eyes narrow on her.
“One holiday doesn’t count. And you haven’t told me a single thing about it,” she exclaims, as the big doors at the back of the hall open and more people filter in.
I look down at my hands, which are once again on my lap.
“Okay. So I spent most of my time reading and sleeping. I rested. That’s what people do on holiday.
” I leave out the part where, even though I lay under the sun, I never felt fully relaxed.
I didn’t come home with a glowing tan that people were jealous of.
It cost my parents a lot of money, but it doesn’t feel like it was worth it.
Holly’s hand hits the table with force, making me jump. “No. Old people go on holiday and read and sleep. Young people go and shag hot Spanish guys and their brothers with absolutely no care in the world.”
I can’t stop the snort that leaves me. “Says who?”
She nods rather proudly. “Says me.”
“And when was the last time you shagged a hot Spanish guy? Or anybody for that matter?”
Holly turns in her seat again so she’s facing me. “I don’t share details.”
I scoff, mirroring her position. “Since when? Because I certainly didn’t hear you holding back on details when you decided to tell me all about your kinky night with Callum West.”
Her cheeks blush, but she waggles her finger in front of me, all angsty. “Callum West was the best night of my life.”
“Speak of the devil.”
Holly looks like she’s seen a ghost. “Where?” She ducks to try and hide herself at the same time that a burst of laughter roars out from me.
“Gotcha.”
She whips her head up, and a few people turn to look at us. “You cow. Don’t do that! That’s like me saying Rory Lane walked in.” She gives me a nudge, still laughing.
But she’s wrong. Unlike Holly, who lost her virginity to someone she actually liked, I almost recklessly gave mine to a guy I despise.
I never told anyone why.
Covering my mouth, I’m caught somewhere between laughing and suddenly feeling pain.
Mrs Tucker looks at me, presumably wondering what’s so funny.
Seriously, people need to lighten up. It’s supposed to be a party. Still, I say, “I think we need to leave.”
Holly straightens out her hair as the door swings open once again.
My breath catches in my throat when we both watch the O’Keefe family casually stride into the hall. All of them possess that quality that makes people stop and stare. Which is what everyone appears to be doing right now.
“No, no. I think my party’s about to get interesting.”
Paddy O’Keefe shakes the hand of Holly’s mother, followed by her father.
He’s wearing Levi jeans and white trainers, a navy-blue shirt casually rolled up at the wrists.
I catch a glimpse of his gold watch and greedily proceed to drag my eyes up the length of his arms until I’m witnessing him force smiles on his beautifully sculptured face.
I take a breath. Time stands still. And my heart remembers exactly where it belongs.
Okay, so maybe he could pass as He-man now, even with his darker hair.
Of course, I can’t tell if he’s actually housing a body full of muscles, but he sure looks more defined and mature since the last time I saw him.
Saying that, he doesn’t want to be here. I can tell by the way his lips purse and the telling pull on the back of his neck.
When I see Fiona, I give her a wave, also spotting my parents making their way over to say hello to her family.
She waves back, and my heart skips a little beat when she hits Paddy on the arm and starts heading my way.
He looks up as Holly’s father continues talking to him, but the intermittent nods of his head slow when our eyes lock.
I haven’t seen him in three years. He still has that glowing look in his eyes, though. It never falters, even when they narrow quickly, making me swallow the thick lump in my throat.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room. I’m desperate. Say hi to Fi for me.”
“Okay,” I reply hoarsely to Holly, as she stands and walks away. I notice Paddy still looking my way, but his attention is pulled back to Holly’s father.
Fi makes it to our table. “Hi.” Her voice is solemn, which is unlike her.
“Everything alright?” I ask my friend, noting the sad look on her face.
She gives me the once over. “Fine. How are you?”
I lift my drink in a toast. “Getting drunk in a church hall against my will, so you know, same old.” Her face remains blank. “You’re sure everything’s alright?”
Fi pulls out the chair opposite me, sitting herself down as she removes her red cardigan and hangs it on the back. She runs her fingers through her long, brown waves, looking around at a few people before looking at me. “Things are great, really. Tell me how the new job’s going,” she asks.