Chapter 20 After six, this place is a dogging hotspot
After six, this place is a dogging hotspot
Morgan
When I step out of work, I’m surprised to see the familiar white BMW parked up outside the building. I know we said we’d see each other tomorrow, but this is not what I had in mind.
I slowly pace towards it, having seen Paddy lift a hand off the wheel to get my attention. The windows aren’t tinted, so I can see he’s wearing one of his hoodies and shades, appearing much older than twenty-four.
Approaching the car, I cautiously duck towards the passenger window.
Paddy lowers it for me, leaning his elbow on his side of the car. “Curly fries,” he says, grinning.
“What are you doing?”
His smile momentarily drops before he fixes it. “What does it look like?”
I try to read his expression. “I’m not sure,” I answer honestly.
The sound of the car unlocking, clicks.
My gaze drops to the door before I look back up at Paddy.
“Get in.”
Eyes narrowing, I ask, “You want me to get in your car?”
That grin of his looks less forced this time.
“What for?”
He laughs sweetly. “Because I’m taking you home, Morgan.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to,” he says, blowing out a breath. “Now get in before you catch a cold.”
I open the door and climb in, less on instinct like last night, but more because I want to know what my dad spoke to him about.
I lost sleep overthinking what it could have been.
“Is it warm enough?” Paddy fiddles with a dial, blasting warm air into the car.
“Yeah,” I tell him, blinking rapidly. “It’s fine, Paddy.”
He twists the heat down a little. “You sure?”
I laugh disbelievingly. “Paddy, it’s like sixteen degrees outside. That’s warm for us, remember?”
He looks down at my hands, which I now realise are hidden in my sleeves. To anyone else, I can see how it could look like something other than my comfort.
To prove I’m fine, I show him my palms. “See? Fine.”
He nods, obviously satisfied. “Good. And Holly? Did you get hold of her?” Pressing a button, Paddy starts the engine.
“Yeah, she fell asleep on me. Wait, what in the gadget wizardry is that?” I blow out, releasing a breath laced with surprise. I missed it the last time I was in his car.
“I’m glad she’s alright. And that, is the starter button,” Paddy explains, checking his mirrors before putting the car into drive. He checks his mirrors again, puts on his indicator and re-checks his mirrors one final time before slowly pulling away.
“You’re a very careful driver.”
The sound he makes isn’t one of amusement. “I try to be.”
Looking at him without moving my head too obviously, I watch him drive.
His hands sit at the perfect ten and two, gliding on the wheel when he turns onto a busier road.
His head is constantly rotating, watching for other drivers.
He’s cautious, following every driving rule that I know and have learned from reading my theory driving test booklet.
“Something wrong?” he muses.
My head snaps forward like a rubber band breaking. “No,” I say in a rush. “Nothing’s wrong, just…” I sink my teeth into my bottom lip.
Why did I just say just? Now I have to say something else.
After a beat, Paddy looks my way. Our eyes lock, then he breaks the contact, looking back at the road. “What is it, curly fries?”
I release my teeth. My lips part. Close. And part again. Realising I’m just sitting here making noises like a fish desperate for air, I give up and just come out with it. “You were scared driving. Yesterday, I mean.”
He smiles wearily, glancing my way. “I have precious cargo. Doesn’t hurt to be careful.”
My cheeks blush.
In all the years I’ve known Paddy, I’ve never associated him with being careful. Responsible, yes. But never careful. “Right.” I look down at my hands, tucking them back into my sleeves.
“If you’re not cold, then why do you do that?” Paddy asks, noticing.
“For safety.” I shrug feeling stupid suddenly, glancing his way. He’s watching me. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he answers gently in that soft voice of his.
I look out of my window before I slowly turn to look at him again. “I think I do it when I’m feeling unsure about things.”
He blinks, long and delayed. “Are you unsure about me?”
My answer isn’t forced. “No.” I shake my head. “But I do wonder what’s going on with you.”
“What’s going on with me?” he bites out, changing his tone. I can tell by his jaw tightening that there’s something.
“Yeah.”
He indicates to turn. “There’s nothing going on with me,” he breathes out his lie.
“Okay.” I turn to look back at the road. “Please could you stop the car?” I look down at my watch. “I can still catch the bus.” I just stare forwards, holding my nerve, wondering why the hell I feel so determined to push him. I never push anybody like this.
After an eternity, Paddy lets loose a breath. “I got suspended from my job,” he says coarsely.
Oh shit. I know how much that job meant to him. “Why?” I ask, desperate to know more.
He sighs. “Because I made a mistake, Morgan.”
“What mistake?” I fire at him, immediately sitting back, sensing I’m being too much.
“The kind you can’t make right.”
His hands tighten around the wheel, knuckles whitening. I’m perceptive enough to know that being behind the wheel has something to do with it. Precious cargo or not, I saw the way he drove yesterday. I see the way his muscles are being held tight now.
“Did you have a car accident or something?”
Paddy presses the brakes, coming to a stop at a junction. “Fucking hell. Why’s everyone from our village so fucking perceptive?”
I turn my face away from him. “Probably because you just upped and left for three years and drive like the car’s about to explode,” I mutter, instead of keeping that thought to myself.
“Is that right?” Paddy snaps, turning right and pressing his foot on the accelerator.
My cheeks flame once again. “Shit, I’m sorry, Paddy.” I try to relax my racing mind as I watch the trees pass by my window. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
He remains silent for four minutes. I know because, when I’m brave enough to stop looking out of my window, I watch them pass us by, keeping my eyes trained on the clock in the car.
“It’s not your fault,” he eventually says, loosening his grip slightly. “It’s mine.”
I face him. “What happened?”
His words come out strangled. “I drove my girlfriend-at-the-time’s brother home after finding him on the side of the road. We argued. Things got heated. I was driving fast and hit the brakes, but he… He grabbed the wheel.”
“Paddy, I’m so sorry,” I choke out, sad for him.
“Don’t be, curly fries. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have even stopped to pick him up.”
My eyes narrow on him. “What makes you say that?”
Paddy runs a hand through his draping hair. “Because the guy was an arsehole. Treated everyone like shit.” He turns to look at me quickly. “But you know me, right?” He groans, looking forward again. “Always have to try to help. Only, this time, I got someone killed.”
I swallow and try to steady my shaky breathing. “It’s not a bad thing, trying to help.”
The corner of his lip twitches. “It’s not always a good thing.” Another look my way; this time he holds it for longer before dropping his hold.
His gaze burns right through me.
“I guess I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t know, I just… I should have been the bigger man and not let him get to me.”
I don’t want to know what the other man said. It’s obvious that whatever it was, Paddy feels responsible for the accident. “Do your parents know what happened?”
With his shoulders slumping, he says, “Mum does. Although, she’ll have probably told Pops by now.”
“She must be worried about you.”
He dips his chin. “She is.” Then he changes the conversation. “I wanted to talk to you. I met my boss before coming back here. I asked for reduced hours when I go back to work.”
My heart sinks. “So you’ll be leaving again?” I blurt without thinking.
He shakes his head slowly, expression twisting. “No, Morgan. I’ll be staying here. If that’s okay with you?”
It’s more than okay. “Yeah. Sure,” I say shakily, failing to play it cool. I’m embarrassed for being so obvious with my emotions.
Paddy’s face lights up. “Okay then. I’ll be staying.”
I purse my lips, nodding my head slowly. “Okay.”
A comfortable silence falls between us.
“So, how’s work?” Paddy asks sincerely.
I notice we slow down and pull onto a gravel track. Unsure of my surroundings, I reply, “Yeah. Good.”
“Made any friends?”
My eyes narrow as I read a small, green sign. Lovers Lake.
Oh, God.
Why on earth is he pulling into here?
“Friends?” I reply, swivelling my head to look at him.
He hums, fingers moving on the wheel.
“There’s this one girl. Sarah. She seems nice.”
“That’s good.”
The car bounces along the track. I thought Paddy drove cautiously on tarmac. Watching him manoeuvre the lumps and bumps of the path is something else.
“Are you worried about your car?” I ask with a nervous smile on my face. Still wondering why we’re driving down here.
“A little,” he tells me, straightening his back and looking out of his window.
The car jolts as the front wheel sinks into a hole. “Well, maybe, if you’re staying, you should consider getting something more suitable for where we live?” My hair whips across my face as Paddy turns, hitting a mound.
The car bounces and crunches the stones underneath us.
“That might not be a bad idea,” he grumbles, finally coming to a stop.
I adjust my hair, eyes bulging. “What are we doing here?”
Pressing the same button he did to start the car, he cuts the engine. Twisting in his seat, he faces me.
The intensity of his gaze is electrifying. “What?”
Paddy’s dark, twilight eyes rake over my entire face. They dazzle like they always do. “Up until last night, no one has been in a car with me since the accident, curly fries.”
Waiting for him to go on, I lock my eyes with his.
“No one has been in my car because I’ve been too scared.” Paddy swipes a hand over his face.