Chapter 20 After six, this place is a dogging hotspot #2
A strand of his hair lands over his eye, and unlike every other time it’s done that, and I’ve simply watched, this time, I reach out and brush it backwards.
Paddy’s eyes close, and the thickness of the air makes it impossible to breathe.
“Paddy?” I say on barely a whisper.
He leans into my touch. “I froze when I needed to help Jake and Danny.” Eyes locking, he shakes his head. “Back in London. There was an accident, and I froze. I should have helped, but I couldn’t move.”
Placing my hand on his, we both stare down. “It sounds like trauma, Paddy.”
“I know,” he agrees, curling his fingers with mine, sending sparks to travel up my arm. “I’ve not been dealing with it,” he looks up at me again, “until last night.” His shoulders relax.
“What changed?” I ask softly, my lips rolling in on each other.
“You did.”
One. Two. Three. Four.
I mentally count the seconds, trying to register what he’s desperately trying to tell me.
Five.
He opens his mouth again. “You messaged me in trouble, and I didn’t even think about coming to get you. It was instinct. Basic fucking instinct, Morgan.” Paddy’s thumb begins stroking the back of my hand, sending goosebumps exploding over my skin.
“That’s why you drive so carefully?”
He nods. “I was violently sick when I got home. Mum heard me. Then she caught me drinking whisky at one in the morning.”
“That can’t be good.”
“When is it ever?”
I raise a small smile. “You sound angry with yourself,” I say, sensing his sullen tone.
His gaze flicks to the front window, but his fingers tighten underneath mine. “I was—am,” he corrects himself. “But if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if I would have been able to see myself moving past this. You’ve given me hope that maybe one day I can.”
God, this man. I’ve given him hope? Me? “You mean if it wasn’t for Holly not showing up?”
Paddy pointlessly adjusts his hoodie.
“If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have told you something was wrong,” I add.
“Well…” He pauses, looking a little wary now. “I guess I have her to thank then.”
“She’s going to love that.”
He blinks slowly.
“And then when I tell her that you brought me to Lovers Lake… she’ll be planning our wedding day and taking all the credit for it.”
Silence.
That’s all I can hear.
Paddy’s hand slips from mine.
Shit.
Why did I have to go and say that out loud.
Say something.
Say something.
Anything.
Paddy’s lips part in horror.
“I didn’t mean that. I didn’t… I meant that you brought me here to do something—”
“Jesus, curly fries,” he interrupts me. “What is it you think I brought you here to do?”
My mouth falls open. “I don’t know.” My hands slap my face, sweltering heat engulfing every inch of me. “I saw the sign for Lovers Lake. Figured you wanted to… Oh crap, I don’t know.”
Oh my God.
I want to die.
I peek a look at Paddy from behind my hands.
Opening his door, he gets out of the car and walks around to my side. The door opens, and he gestures for me to get out with a raised thumb, avoiding eye contact.
I’ve blown it. Well and truly overstepped the friendship line. I don’t know what he’s thinking, bringing me out here, but I certainly didn’t think anything untoward was going to happen.
Swinging my legs out, I open my mouth to talk, but Paddy presses a finger to my lips.
The second he’s touching me, I hold my breath, staring at the beautiful man before me.
“No more talking.” He slowly removes his finger. After a moment of staring at me with a horrified expression, he says, “This is about driving, curly fries. Nothing more.” He holds up his hands. “To be clear, there will be no touching you up, proposals or anything along those lines.”
Jesus Christ, I’m so hot with embarrassment I can feel my legs shaking.
“I get the feeling your dad would cut my bollocks off and make me eat them if I tried anything like that, so, I won’t.”
I draw in a ragged breath, eyes wide in shock.
But he would try something if he didn’t think my dad would try to kill him afterwards?
Reading my mind, Paddy slams his eyes shut.
“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck…
Driving, that’s what we’re going to do.” With his hands now on his hips, he gives me a stern nod, almost like he’s trying to convince himself.
He’s rambling. And I didn’t notice until this very second, but I can’t help but smile. Confusion and awe all rolling into one.
Paddy grins at me, letting out an exhausted breath before he clears his throat, and I press my lips together to avoid laughing in his face.
“We have to be quick though, if we want to get an hour in. After six, this place is a dogging hotspot.”
My face falls quicker than I can catch it.
Dogging?
What?
His gaze meets mine, just for a second, before giving me a lopsided grin. “I brought you here for a driving lesson,” he explains more calmly.
I close my eyes before prising them open and gaping at him, all humour quickly evaporating when I register what’s really going on.
I passed my theory, but I’ve never actually driven a car, not even with my dad.
What if I crash his fancy car?
What if I drive it straight into the lake?
“Time’s ticking, curly fries.” Our eyes meet. “Unless you really do want to be here for the dogging?” He winks, trying to lighten the mood.
Ground. Open. Swallow. Me. Whole.
“No. I’m just…”
Paddy gets into the car where I was just sitting and reaches for the door handle. “Come on.”
I step back as he begins closing the door, heart in my mouth and palms sweating. I can’t drive. I only know the theory side. Practically, I have no experience.
Taking my time, I lift one foot after the other around to the other side of his car. I get in and close my door, hands braced down by my sides.
“If you don’t like people in your car, then why are you giving me a driving lesson?” There’s a burning sensation in my chest.
Putting on his seatbelt, he says in a serious tone, “I think this could be good for both of us,” but I hear the wavering of his voice just like mine.
I turn to look at him. “I…”
“Relax.” He places one hand on my leg, rendering me speechless and unable to think. When I look down, Paddy doesn’t remove it. “This isn’t me touching you up,” he says quickly. “I know you’re nervous, that’s all. I was only joking about the dogging thing. I don’t think people really do that here.”
Tension bubbles. Heat swells in my core. Yeah, I feel nervous, but not just because he wants me to drive a car. But because his thumb is doing that stroking motion again.
Does he know he’s doing that?
“What if I crash?”
His hand flexes on my leg. “You won’t.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
His eyes crinkle in the corners, as his lips curve up. I melt on the inside, the heat of my body overriding the trembling in my hands. “It’s time for me to put my trust in you for a change.”
Oh, Jesus. “Paddy, I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Removing his hand off me, I finally breathe, watching as he moves his hands and points at various buttons in the car, telling me what they all do.
None of what he’s explaining goes in, but I nod every couple of seconds, waiting for my muscles to loosen.
We’re not even moving, yet it feels like I’m speeding at a hundred miles per hour.
“Got it?”
My stomach knots.
Crap.
“Morgan?”
“Yeah?” I turn my head to look at him.
“Your seatbelt?” His eyes flick down.
Right. The belt whirs as I zip it across my body, then my hands grip the wheel tightly.
“You’re safe with me,” Paddy says, hand resting firmly in place on my leg. All sorts of fireworks explode inside me. A blast of heat rushing to places I’ve only ever dreamed about him touching.
Trying to focus, I smile weakly, but feel reassured, nonetheless.
“Want some music on in the background? It might make you relax.”
I don’t know if anything can take my mind off the man sitting beside me. “Mm-hmm.”
Taking his hand off me, Paddy turns on the radio. “Background noise, background noise,” he says to himself, flicking through his phone for something and turning a button. “Here.”
Gentle music slips into the car.
Paddy grins to himself.
“Really?”
“What?” he says, but I know exactly what he’s doing.
Paddy turns up the volume a little. The vibrations from the speakers make me relax as Shania Twain’s Don’t Be Stupid, You Know I Love You plays through the speakers.
I instantly relax into my seat, loosening the death-grip I have on the wheel. “I’m not doing it.” I look out the corner of my eye at him, vivid memories of me serenading everybody to it at one of our sleepovers, racing through my mind.
A soft laugh tugs at his lips as he looks down at me. “No one’s here to see.”
“You’re here,” I groan.
He shrugs, smiling. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
Lord help me. I close my eyes. “No.”
“Please.”
“Fuck off.” My heart races in double time.
“That’s right, you need patio furniture to be able to do it properly.”
I slap the side of his leg, spotting his wide grin.
He looks so pleased with himself as he runs his thumb over his bottom lip. “Oh come on, you owned that table like you were the headline act. I really thought Shania was singing in my garden.”
“Okay, now you’re being mean, creeper,” I deadpan.
“Creeper?”
“Yeah. You were a creep. Watching a young girl singing like you did.”
Paddy flusters in his seat. “Well, when you say it like that, yeah, you make me sound bad. But I wasn’t just staring, I was…
shit, I don’t know.” Paddy’s shoulders hunch.
“You seemed happy. Content. You didn’t care what others thought of you.
You just did what made you happy, I guess. It was nice to see.”
My head drops when I remember what felt like a much simpler time. Clearly, I’m quiet for too long, because as the music begins to build, Paddy starts singing under his breath, looking out of his window.
He begins giving me his best rendition, shoulders jigging, a wide smile breaking on his face.
“Paddy.”
His voice gets louder, then he spins his head and looks at me.
My eyes widen, enjoying this more than I care to admit.
He points a finger my way, eyebrows wiggling like stupid caterpillars on his face.
“Oh my God you’ve lost it.” I burst into laughter, throwing my head back as Paddy goes into full voice, singing his heart out and holding his fisted hand out for me to sing into.
Rolling my eyes, my pulse beats in my veins.
Fine.
“Don’t be stupid!” I half sing, half shout, making him laugh, as the song’s words strike a chord in my chest. For the most part, we’re just two friends singing a song my parents used to listen to, and one I loved singing with my friends.
But I know on a much deeper level, the connection we have is greater than friendship.
At least for me it is.
Once it’s finished, I look at Paddy. “Thank you for this,” I then say, running my gaze around the car, taking a few steadying breaths. Placing my hands on the wheel, I relax my shoulders with confidence. “I think I’m ready to have my first lesson.”
Paddy’s face lifts as he presses the starter button. “Well then, let’s go, curly fries.”
Okay, so driving an automatic car is much easier than the manual stuff I’ve read about.
Paddy’s let me drive around the carpark that circles Lovers Lake, over and over again. Steering without jerking the wheel is now easy, and I even managed to go backwards. Wait, I mean reverse. Yeah, I reversed as well.
It feels good to be doing something new. Not only that, but I feel good. I’m happy. And the more I think about it, I’ve only recently felt like this when I’m around Paddy.
“Ready to pack it in for today?”
Honestly? I could keep going round and round until this thing runs out of fuel.
“Yeah.” I come to a reluctant stop and press the little button with a P on it.
“You did good, curly fries.”
Paddy’s hand is now relaxed on his leg as opposed to gripping the wheel like he had to do to help me avoid a giant hole.
“You did too,” I confess, my tone gentle. “That can’t have been easy for you.”
He gives me a quick wink before opening his door. “Was better than I’d thought it’d be.” He gets out, and once we’re sitting in our original seats and heading away from the lake, Paddy asks, “Are you working tomorrow?”
I inhale, watching him drive. I’ve got the bug. “No. I only work Monday to Wednesday.”
“Well, seeing as I have some free time, shall we go out again? Get some more hours in.”
A car pulls onto the gravel path.
I beam at him. “Can we? You don’t mind?”
He flicks the indicator. “I wouldn’t offer if I minded.”
My head turns, heart swooping.
“But it really does look like people go dogging here,” he laughs, just as another car pulls onto the track, followed by another. “It’d be wise to find another place.”
I giggle. “I’d love to. Go driving, I mean. Not dogging.”
Christ.
“Got it,” he chuckles, cheeks reddening a little. “No dogging,” he clarifies.
“No dogging,” I say under my breath.
When his phone rings, we both look at the call connecting to his Bluetooth.
“Who’s that?” I ask without giving it a thought.
The name Tom flashes across the screen.
Paddy’s thumb lingers over the green shaped telephone button on the wheel. “My boss.”