8. Hazel
Chapter eight
Hazel
O nce I get home from the gym, I run upstairs to get ready for my mom’s doctor appointment. While I’m washing my hair my mind drifts toward Dexter and the look he had on his face when Mateo was talking to me. The way Dexter's whole body kept getting stiffer the longer I talked to Mateo, as if he was trying to hold himself back. A small part of me was thrilled to have his undivided attention on me. If the way his body reacted being close to me is any indication, I know he still feels something for me. He's not ready to open up to me yet. I need to come up with a plan to show him that despite everything I still love him. Easier said than done.
I'm getting dressed as my phone goes off. Though I’m certain it’s Ashley reminding me about the appointment, I check it anyway.
But when I look at it, it’s not her. I freeze. The door behind me opens and I move into overdrive quickly shoving the phone in my pocket. The noise behind me has me turning to see my mother picking up the pile of clothes next to the door.
“Mom, what are you doing?” Internally, I cringe as my voice comes out a little more shrill than usual.
"Oh good, you’re done. I saw you looking at your phone and didn’t want to interrupt.”
I roll my eyes at her words. She was probably hoping that if she was quiet, she would get some gossip. Just like everyone else in this town, my mother lives for gossip.
“Are you ready? We need to leave soon,” my mom asks changing the subject.
“I just need to do my hair,” I answer as I run my hand over my hair.
“Okay, Sweetie. Meet me downstairs. I’ll put your laundry in the washer.” She turns and disappears down the hallway.
“Mom, you know I can do my own washing?” I yell after her.
“I know. But it reminds me of when you girls were young and we were all living under one roof. Let me do this for you.” She pauses then turns back toward me. Her eyes have a look of sadness deep in them, and I can’t help but feel the melancholy she is projecting. I turn away from her as my own eyes well up with tears, “Okay, Mom. I’ll be down in a few minutes."
She doesn't answer, allowing both of us to get ourselves together. I return to my room as I hear her footsteps continue down the stairs.
I grab my brush off the dresser and run it through my hair, tossing it up in a ponytail before heading down to see her. “Ready, Mom. Let’s go.”
It’s just a quick drive over to the hospital. We walk through the oncology door and my hands start to sweat. I’m not sure what to expect. My sister was always better at the emotional stuff, but it’s my turn. I promised Ashley I could do this.
I sit down in the waiting room while my mom checks in at the front desk. When she sits down next to me, she must feel my anxiety rising, because she places her hand on mine, comforting me even though I should be the one comforting her. Neither of us say anything for the few minutes we sit in the waiting room. When the door opens, a curvy brunette in scrubs that looks to be about my age walks out the door, holding a file in her hands.
“Judy,” she calls as she looks around the room.
My mom stands up quickly, raising her hand as she calls, “I’m here.”
I stand up with her and follow her to the door with the other woman. When my mom gets closer, the nurse asks, “How are you feeling, Judy?”
“I’m doing much better now that my oldest daughter Hazel has moved back,” she says as she motions back toward me.
The nurse looks over at me and we both smile at each other. She pats my mom’s shoulder, “I’m glad. Right this way. You have the heart room this week.”
“The heart room?" I pale a little. Is there something wrong with her heart?
My mom looks at me over her shoulder with a grin. “Oh, you’ll see why they call it that.”
I calm a tiny bit when I see her smile.
A few seconds later all three of us are walking into a room that looks as if someone threw up hearts everywhere. I guess this is what Mom meant. I’m not sure if this is to entertain the patients or make them go insane.
My mother must see my thoughts on my face as she giggles. “I told you. I think whoever designed these rooms thought it would be a good distraction to the patient, and I guess they are right…in a way.” There's a look of disgust on her face and I know she doesn't like the decor any more than I do.
I giggle as I sit down in the chair next to hers when the nurse grabs our attention and brings us back to the present.
“Okay, Ms. Judy, you know the drill,” she reminds my mom as she puts on her gloves.
I watch astutely as my mom takes a seat in a lounge chair that's in the room and slowly pulls her sleeves up.
“How was your week, Ms. Judy? Did you make any new baked goods?” She pauses and before my mom can answer, she turns to me. "Did you know that your mom is famous for her baked goods? She makes them for everyone around here."
I smile back at her and nod, when my mom answers for me. “I made chocolate chip cookies for my Hazel here.” She winces as the nurse inserts a needle into her arm.
The nurse keeps going about her business ignoring Mom's reaction, a feeling of sadness bubbles inside of me, knowing that she's probably used to it. “Mmm…those sound yummy. When is the next time you’re going to bring some in to share with us?”
My mom giggles, but then a solemness takes over. “If I have some energy this week, I'll make some for all of you.”
“No worries, Ms. Judy. Only if you’re feeling good.” The nurse stands as she finishes up the IV, taking a look at the tube to make sure everything is working.
My mom hums and when the nurse is finished, she cleans up the trash and goes to leave. “Excuse me, what’s your name?” I ask.
She looks back at me. “My name is Sloane.”
“Are you normally my mom’s nurse?”
She lets go of the door and turns toward me. “Yes. I am.”
“I just want to say thank you.”
I don’t say anything else. She knows. She nods then leaves without another word. This is not a fun place to be. She was kind and gentle with my mother and if Ashley and I aren’t able to be here, I’m glad that she has someone like Sloane.
Once she’s gone, I look back over at my mom, who is lying with her eyes closed. “She’s nice. I’m glad you have someone like her as your nurse.”
My mom opens her eyes and looks over at me with a tight smile. “Yes, she is. But Hazel I don’t want to talk about this disease. Why don’t you tell me something to distract me?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe like how are things with you and Dexter? Your sister told me that you saw him at the bar the other night and then at the gym.” Her eyes soften as she looks at me.
I can't help it, rolling my eyes as my walls go up instantly. I'm a little annoyed that my sister told my mom about seeing Dexter, but I should've known.
“Of course, Ashley told you that. Well, nothing’s going on between us, he’s still mad with how I left things and rightfully so.”
My mom hums and nods, “Well, why did you leave like that?”
“Mom. I don’t want to talk about that. You know I couldn’t deal with the fighting and needed to get out of Rose Valley.”
I drop my head as guilt hits me, knowing that I'm not telling my mom the whole truth.
Placing her hand on my knee she gives it a little squeeze for comfort. “Hazel, you can tell me anything, I won’t judge you.”
It's as if the mask I've carefully made over the last five years breaks and my mom can see right through me. A tear drops from my eye and I wipe it away quickly. How can I tell my mom or anyone the real reason why I left? That someone is out there threatening me and has been sending me scary texts over the years. No matter what I did.
She sees my tears and rubs my arm. “Don’t cry, honey. You don’t have to tell me right now. I’ll be here when you're ready.”