9. Hazel
Chapter nine
Hazel
A s soon as I get my emotions under control, there is a knock on the door to the hospital room and then my sister enters. “Hey, Mom. How are things going?” Ashley asks as she sits down on the couch next to Mom's chair.
I shove her as she sits down, then scrunch up my face with a look of horror. “Eww…those are clean right?”
“Hazel!” My mom gasps.
Ashley shoves me back, “Of course they are loser. I just got here, my shift in the ER starts in thirty minutes." She then puts her hand up against her mouth as if she's trying to keep me from seeing, whispering to my mom, "I thought I would check on you before it started."
“Oh good. I was worried you were getting germs everywhere.” A shudder wracks through me at the thought, but I say it lightly hoping to keep this appointment from getting even more emotional than it already has.
“You girls. Let me tell you, if this cancer doesn’t put me in the ground, you two sure will. Now stop with this nonsense.” She scolds the two of us as if we're children again.
“Yes, Mother,” we both say in unison, then stick out our tongues at each other when she looks away. It’s nice to have this easy-going relationship with my sister. I didn’t realize how much I missed it since I’ve been gone. If only Dexter and I could put things behind us.
“Hey, Hazel.” Ashley brings my attention back to her. “A few of us girls from work are going to the bar tonight after our shift if you want to join.”
I start to say open my mouth to protest, but my mom interrupts. “Oh, that sounds fun. You should go, Hazel. Take your mind off things.”
“Won’t your husband want you home? We went out last night too,” I ask Ashley a little bit too harshly.
Ashley gets this weird look on her face but then it’s gone as quickly as it came and waves me off. “Oh, he won’t mind. He’s probably working late anyways.”
She quickly turns away. That was weird. Now that I think about it, Ashley hasn't really said anything about her husband, everything has always been about me. Note to self, ask her about what's going on with her when we're alone.
But since he's working late, there goes my excuse for not going out two nights in a row. My mind is running trying to come up with a different reason. But the look on my sister’s face causes me to force a smile.
I grimace with the next words that come out of my mouth, “I guess. It could be fun.”
My sister jumps up and claps her hands. “Eeek…this is going to be so much fun.”
I love her enthusiasm, but unfortunately, I don't feel the same.
“You know we don’t have to make up the time we haven’t spent together all at once. Right?”
She shrugs. “I know. I just really missed you.”
I swallow. I don’t know what to say to that, so I just look away. But I do have a nagging feeling that something could be off with her. “I can’t wait for you to meet the girls.” Ashley's declaration forces me to focus on her words.
“Yeah, Hazel, you’re going to love the girls.” My mother has a wicked glint in her eye as she teases. I knew it, she set me up.
“Mom, why do you want me out of the house so badly?”
“I want alone time with your father.” One shoulder lifts as if it's the simplest answer.
“Eww. Gross.” Ashley and I say at the same time.
No one wants to think about their parents that way. Ever.
The day goes by quickly and before I know it, I’m pulling up in front of Gary’s Place. I try to stifle it, but I can't help but let a yawn escape. The last few weeks have been exhausting and I think it's starting to get to me. I should cancel, but the idea of letting Ashley down makes me sad, and I can't do that anymore than I've already done.
I’ve never been great at making friends which is making my anxiety shoot through the roof. I’ve only had two friends in my life.
Dexter, who I met at eight and Sarah from California. I wipe my hands on my shorts. Why am I so nervous to meet Ashley’s friends? This is ridiculous, I shouldn’t be this nervous. Time to go in. I pull on my big girl panties and make my way out of the car and into the bar.
Tonight, the bar isn’t as crowded. I guess no special event. I try to look through the light haze of smoke that seems to fill the room. It's hard to tell if the smoke is from cigarettes or if there is a smoke machine somewhere in the room.
As I survey the room for my sister, a small part of me is hoping to see Dexter again. I haven't been able to get the way his hands felt on me out of my head all day. I want to feel him again. I let out a sigh, knowing that's probably not happening anytime soon. When I don't see my sister, I walk over to the bar. “Hey, Ricky.”
“Hey, Hazel. Back for another night?” He asks as he lifts his gaze from the glasses that he's drying.
I sigh and rest my chin on the heel of my hand. “Yeah. Ashley somehow convinced me to come out with her and her friends.”
He chuckles. “That girl sure does know how to get what she wants.”
“Yeah, she does. She especially knows how to guilt me."
“I heard you talked with Dexter today. How are things?” he asks hesitantly.
I look away from him and keep my eyes fixed on the jukebox across the room. "Why is it so smoky in here?"
Ricky doesn't answer me. When I look back to see if he's moved on to another customer, he's just staring at me with his lips pinched, as if he's waiting for me to answer. Not being able to handle him scrutinizing me, I squeeze my eyes closed tight. “Fuck. I keep forgetting how fast word spreads.”
He drops the pinched look and a goofy grin replaces it. “The pleasures of living in a small town.”
I huff out a breath and start to spill my guts. “I don’t know how things are with Dexter. One minute he's storming away from me and then the next morning, he's kissing me."
“Can you blame him?”
“No. I can’t.”
Ricky pats my arm awkwardly. “Don’t worry, Hazel. Everyone in this town knows you guys are meant to be. You’ll find your way back to each other.”
I envy his positivity right now. “I hope so,” I say solemnly.
“Well, that got depressing really fast. How about I get you something to drink? And to answer your earlier question, the smoke is left over from karaoke night. It takes a good two days for it to clear out afterward."
I grin back at his remark and I'm thankful he's willing to change the subject.
“Can I get a margarita? On the rocks?”
He nods. “You want salt with that?”
“Yes, please.”
A second later, hands go around my eyes and my whole body stiffens. But then I hear a sweet feminine voice in my ear. “Guess who?”
I pull her hands off glaring at her. Heat creeps up my neck with embarrassment and anger. “Not cool, Ash.”
She laughs as I’m still trying to recover, but her eyes soften a tiny bit.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you that bad.”
Ricky places my drink down in front of me. Before I can mutter a thank you, my sister softly greets him while twirling the ends of her hair in her fingers. “Hey, Ricky.”
“Hey, Ashley.” His voice sounds rougher than normal, drawing my attention as some type of communication passes between them. Before I can decipher what they could be silently saying, she grabs my wrist and pulls me toward a different corner of the room.
“Come on. Let’s meet my friends.”
I hold on to my drink as I stumble along behind my sister who drags me through the bar. When we finally stop, there are four different faces staring at the two of us, intrigued. Ashley pulls me right up to the table. “Hey, guys. This is my big sister, Hazel.”
The one on the left clears her throat and with a straight face she says, “So you do have a sister?”
Is she serious or is she joking? It's hard to tell until the rest of the women burst out laughing, but my sister just rolls her eyes. “Shut up, Kimberly. You knew I really had a sister.”
“I know. I know. I’m just kidding.” Kimberly then turns to me with a grin. “I’m sorry if I offended you. It’s just Ashley loves to talk about you and since we hadn’t met, I thought maybe she had an imaginary sister. Plus I love to give her shit."
Ashley swats at her arm but smiles. I can tell that these women are good for my little sister and that makes me so happy.
This time it's my turn to take a stab at my sis, “So are you going to introduce me? Or am I just going to stay imaginary?"
Ashley smacks her head. “Duh. Hazel, that’s Kimberly. That’s Colleen and Mya, and you know Sloane." She points to each woman as she says their name. "Our friend Allison is usually here but couldn't make it tonight. We all work together at the hospital."
I turn to look at the end of the table, I hadn’t even noticed her at first with all the joking. She’s the nurse that was helping my mom earlier today.
“Everyone, this is Hazel.”
“Hello, Hazel,” the women say all at once. Oh man, are they this synced all the time?
I wave as a bit of shyness creeps in. Trying to tamp down my anxiety, I take a drink from my margarita while the others start to break off in conversations.
Sloane leans over in my direction, “How’s your mom doing?”
I swallow my sip. “She’s doing okay. My dad and I were able to get her to eat a little bit. She’s going to spend the rest of the night cuddled up with him. They said it was their ritual after a doctor's appointment.”
“Aww, that’s sweet. I hope to find that one day.”
“Me too,” I say wistfully. The problem is that I did have that, but I threw it all away.
With a few more margaritas in me, I start to sway along with the music. I’m actually having a great time. These women are all really nice. I learned from talking to them that Ashley is the only one who is married. They get together a few times a week since Simon is always working.
My phone rings while I’m setting up plans with the ladies. I check to see if I can ignore it, but Dexter’s name comes up on my screen. I've kept his number in my phone over the years, not having the strength to get rid of it, but how did he get my number? I've changed it a few times over the years. And even though I know I should be asking him these questions, I don't. Answering immediately, before I can even say hello, I hear him. His voice is filled with agony. “Hazel, I need you.”
“I'm assuming you don't still live with your Dad, send me your address. I’ll be there.” I don't even have to think about it.
The line clicks and I look at my sister who is staring at me. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Dexter says he needs me,” I say frantically as my hands tremble. What could be so wrong that he called me? The person that he told just earlier today that he didn't want anything to do with me. My heart drops into my stomach with the idea that it might be really bad.
She doesn’t ask me any other questions, she just grabs her purse, “Let’s go. I’ll take you. I haven’t had anything to drink.”
I think back over the last few hours and realize that she's right. I haven't seen her drink anything other than the water pitcher she insisted we get at the beginning of the night. Why isn't she drinking? Could she be pregnant and not tell me.
My phone pings with his address as we get to the car. Ash puts it in her GPS and we are off. I just hope this isn’t like the last time he needed me.