Chapter 9
AVA
Standing there looking at the garage door after Justin walked out, making sure to slam it on his way, had me really feeling some type of way.
All I wanted to do was spend a little time with my husband, and he was making me feel like I was asking him to go mountain climbing in a winter snowstorm.
Then for him to tell me that he was feeling smothered and I was crowding his space really struck a nerve with me.
Like what did he even mean by that? For the past week, if he wasn’t at work, he was hanging out at Tate’s house.
Was it really too much to ask him to chill with me today? And this time, he couldn’t say he was going to hang with Tate because Tate was about to go out with my sister. So now, I was really feeling concerned wondering where and who he was going to be with that was more important than I was.
I needed to vent so I decided to call Shane. I knew that my sister was more than likely busy getting ready for her date, so I didn’t want to bother her. Going back into the family room, I grabbed my cellphone and called Shane up.
“Hey bestie, you missin’ me already?” Shane’s crazy ass asked when he answered my call.
Breathing in heavily then sighing loudly, I couldn’t even laugh at Shane’s humor because I was feeling some type of way. “I just need someone to talk to.”
“Oh my God! What’s wrong, bestie?”
“Justin is what’s wrong. For the past week, he’s been acting real distant towards me.”
“How so, boo?”
“If he isn’t at work he hanging out with Tate. Then his ass gon’ tell me that I was making him feel smothered… what kind of shit is that though?” I cried.
“Awww…boo, don’t cry. Y’all just got married and now that both of y’all are back to work, you just missin’ him being with you all day, every day is all.
I get it, but you know how men can be, especially your man.
He loves his space, boo, so try not to take that personal.
You knew what you were getting into when y’all got married, honey. ”
“Yeah, I know, and I get that, but he promised me that he was going to make us a priority. Now he acts like he doesn’t want to be bothered with me.”
“Girl, you might need to take a pregnancy test ‘cause your ass is being super emotional over nothing in my opinion. It’s only been a week friend, and y’all were attached to each other so tight I can see him wanting just a lil’ bit of space, at least enough to miss you.
Y’all need to get back to y’all’s normal activities, or routine, I should say for a lack of better word.
You still stuck in the honeymoon phase chile. ”
“Why are you picking his side? It must be a man thing ‘cause you not gettin’ how I’m feelin’.”
“Aht, not true. I’m not picking a side, boo.”
“It sure sounds like you are to me ‘cause I honestly don’t think I’m being emotional. I mean, I’m emotional because I want to hang out with my husband? That’s just crazy.”
“Oh, trust and believe, I get where you comin’ from. I just think you expected things to change with you and Justin once y’all got married, but he is who he is. Some people just need their space, and there is nothing wrong with that.”
“True, but he said I was crowding and smothering him, Shane, like really though!”
“Girl, that’s just code that he needs his space is all. He probably shouldn’t have put it like that, but knowing you, you probably been on his so…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just what I said, boo. You know how you both can be.”
“And how is that, Shane? Enlighten me please.”
“I just feel like you’re just not over him not showing you the time and affection that he lacked before y’all decided to run off and get married.
My thing is, you knew Justin liked to kick it when y’all was just dating, and you didn’t particularly care for it then.
How did you think you would feel about it now?
And please don’t give me no shit about you thought he had changed ‘cause that’s just who he is. ”
“So, him needing his space is hanging out with Tate on his off days?”
“Well, not exactly, but I kinda get how he feels, booski. Look, I’m not trying to pick his side, but in a way, I get it.
I’m the same way; I hate to date men that are clingy as fuck.
I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I don’t like it.
It’s a major turn off to me, honestly honey and Justin strikes me as the same way. ”
“So, you’re saying I’m too clingy?”
“Yai, yai, yai mamacita, you not getting it. Look at it this way. You’re the leading lady in his life.
He goes to bed next to you every night and wakes up to you every morning.
Every single thing that he does is centered around you.
Is he wrong for wanting to hang with his friends for a little bit?
Like, women are so much more emotional than men are.
I’m sure you would be a-oh-kay with being with Justin every waking minute of the day, no breaks just Justin, Justin, Justin.
But men aren’t like that, sweetie, and right now you’re taking it personal as hell.
When I say that you knew what you were getting yourself into, I mean just that.
If you knew he was like that, why move forward and marry him?
Why not find a man that wants to be around you and only you, is all I’m saying? ”
“I personally feel like you putting a ten on a two with it, Shane. Ion feel like I’m asking for too much. I don’t expect him to be with me every waking minute of the day, but I do expect for him to put me before his friends is all I’m saying. Especially with us being married.”
“Well, I’m just saying you might want to loosen the tight grip you have on him before you turn him off completely, then you’ll really have major problems. I don’t think he meant it how you’re taking it to be honest.”
“I’m just not trying to be made the fool of. I just have this gut feeling that he is up to no good when he is gone all of the time.”
“You gotta stop thinking like that. I highly doubt another woman is something you need to concern yourself with. You the only woman for Justin, that is something I wholeheartedly believe, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Shane, I appreciate that.”
“No thanks needed, booski. I hate to cut this convo short, chile but I gotta call you back a lil’ later. I have a little friend stopping by, and I need to get myself together, honey. My hair is all over my head, and that ain’t cute at all.” Shane chuckled, causing us both to laugh.
“You and your friends, I swear you always hookin’ up with someone, but I get it. I wish I could be coupled up right now, but it’s cool.”
“Awww…bestie, don’t feel like that. You’s married now, and married life ain’t easy, chile. Just give Justin some time. Y’all gon’ be straight, and everything will work itself out.”
“I sure hope so friend ‘cause Ion want things to go back to me feeling alone in a relationship again. That’s definitely not what I signed up for, and this time I won’t tolerate it. I can be unhappy and lonely by my damn self. I shouldn’t have to feel this way with a whole husband.”
“I get it, boo. Well, I’ma call you back later if that’s cool. Ciao!”
“Yeah, that’s cool. Have enough fun for both of us. I’ll chat with you later. Ciao, bestie.”
Hanging up with Shane, I kinda felt worse than I was feeling before I called him.
For him to say that I need to loosen the grip and insinuate that I was being clingy was not cool.
I knew he didn’t mean any harm by what he said, but he was basically siding with Justin in my opinion.
It had to be a guy thing because even though I understood where he was coming from, I didn’t think he was hearing me completely.
I really didn’t want to bother my sister, but I needed some kind of reassurance that I wasn’t tripping, so I called Dawn in hopes that I would catch her before she left for her date.
“Hey, sissy, I didn’t expect to be hearing from you. Is everything okay?”
“Hey, sis,” I sighed then continued, “No, everything isn’t okay. I wasn’t going to call you, but I need to talk.”
“What’s wrong? It sounds like you been crying. What happened? You were fine earlier. Who ass I gotta kick?”
“Girl.” I chuckled ‘cause my sister stayed ready to go, especially when it came to me. “Me and Justin just had it out. He said some things that really hurt my feelings, sis.”
“About what and what did he say? Was he upset about you having company when he got home?”
“No… why you asked that?”
“‘Cause when he walked in, he looked like he really didn’t feel like being bothered. The look he gave Shane, girl… why you think I hauled ass up out of there like I did?”
“How did he look at him? I didn’t notice it.”
“Chile…” Dawn sang into the phone, and I couldn’t help but to giggle. “Like he can’t stand the sight of his twinkle toes ass.”
“He could care less about me having company. Hell, if anything he probably wishes that y’all would’ve stayed being that he wasn’t trying to be bothered with me.”
“Why you say that? Girl, what happened?”
“Long story short, he basically said I smother him.”
“How so?”
“Because I wanted us to chill together, and he didn’t feel like being bothered with me.
Then I called Shane and told him what happened and his ass gon’ say I should loosen my grip and alluded to me being too clingy with Justin.
He basically said I was at risk for turning J off from me and that I was being too emotional.
Do you think that I’m being too emotional? ”
“I’m just confused. I’m still stuck on the whole smothering thing. Why does Justin feel smothered? And PLEASE don’t get me started on Shane’s dramatic ass. He has a lot of nerve calling someone emotional with his over-the-top emotional ass! I’m just saying.”
“Don’t start. I didn’t call for this to turn into a Shane bashing convo.”
“That’s why I say, that’s your friend ‘cause whew, chile!”