15. Fiona
Chapter fifteen
Fiona
T oday is the official day. We have official hit thirty-nine weeks, which means I’m at full term. The doctor told us last week that she could come any time. Since I’m as big as a house, I can’t say I’m not ready for her to grace us with her presence. I’m miserable. My stomach feels as if it weighs a million pounds. I’ve never felt so hot, like all the time. I haven’t decided if I’m the one cooking her or if she’s cooking me. Even right now, I’m sweating my tits off as I stand in front of the fridge, hoping it might chill me out. Literally and figuratively.
Ugh. Speaking of tits, they are so freaking sensitive. Every movement causes them to rub against anything I’m wearing, sending my libido into a frenzy. When I can’t stand it anymore, I end up jumping Alex. In the car, the bathroom at either of his brothers places. When I say anywhere, I mean it.
Things have progressed even quicker now that Alex has told me he loves me. Unfortunately, the feelings I have for him scare the crap out of me and I still haven’t had the guts to tell him. Thankfully, he seems to understand. Over the last few weeks, we’ve stayed up late at night talking about our childhoods and our fears about the future. So, I know he’s being patient, and he understands, but I really hope I’ll be able to say it soon.
The front door opens and then I hear footsteps moving toward where I’m standing in the kitchen. I close the door quickly. Alex has given me many lectures about wasting the electricity and coolness in the fridge, but the heat within me doesn’t seem to care.
“There you are?” He continues to walk toward me, wrapping his hand around my neck to tip my head back for a kiss. Once his lips hit mine, I melt into him. Pulling back, he gives me a sweet smile. “I love you.”
A grunt comes from me when a sharp pain hits my stomach, and my hand clenches his arm as I double over. Thankfully, it only lasts for about a minute. “What was that?” Alex demands in a sharp tone.
“Not sure. I’ve been cramping all day, but that one was definitely worse.”
Alex’s brows draw together. “Have you called the doctor?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not a big deal. I probably just overdid it. Why don’t you help me sit down?”
Holding my waist, he steadies me as I waddle over to the couch. Plopping down, I let out a huge breath. As much as I love having her inside me, I’m ready to hold her in my arms, too.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call the doctor?”
“Alex, I’m fi…” Before I can finish my sentence, another sharp pain hits me. This time it brings tears to my eyes and seems to be stronger than the last. Once it releases me, I hear Alex retreating from the room, but before he leaves, he glances over his shoulder and yells, “I’m grabbing your bag! You’re going to the hospital!”
I open my mouth, but he stops me before I can when he says, “Don’t fuck with me, love.” His eyes soften a little as he pleads with me, “She’s too important. You’re too important to not check this out.” As his face hardens in front of me, he ends with, “You’re going end of discussion.”
A lump forms in my throat. How do I argue with that?
“Okay,” I whisper as he runs into our room and grabs the hospital bag to take with us. Everything moves fast after that. First, I’m sitting in the car breathing through the pain, which seems to hit every two minutes, then suddenly, we’re in front of the hospital. Alex grips my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Fiona, listen to me. I’m not leaving you. I’m going to go inside and get a nurse to help us.”
With tears in my eyes, I mutter when another cramp which I guess at this point are really contraction hits me. “Got it. Ugh…Hurry Alex.”
He leaves me, running inside, and I try to focus on the door. Waiting for him, counting the seconds, not focusing on the fact that it feels like my body is being split in half. I grip the handle above the door of the car as another one hits me, and this one seem seven stronger than the last, if that’s possible.
Tears track down my cheeks as the car door is pulled open hastily. Alex is standing there with a nurse and a wheelchair. “Come on, love, let’s get you inside.”
Both he and the nurse grab my arms and help me stand up, and they support all my weight. Thankfully, they can get me into the wheelchair easily. Gripping the arms of the chair, I look up at Alex through my wet lashes. “Don’t forget the bag.”
He grins at me before giving me a kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it. You focus on having that baby girl.”
We pass a blur of people as we hurry through the hospital while I lean over, grunting with every pain that seems to radiate through my whole body. I’m barely hanging on by a thread here. I’m exhausted. How am I supposed to handle taking care of a baby if I can’t even handle this?
The doctor comes in quickly as I’m being transferred to a bed with the help of Alex. Once I’m all settled and the doctor all gloved up, he sits on his stool. “Alright, I hear we might be having us a baby. Let’s check you out.”
With that, he inserts his fingers into my vagina. Taking a deep breath, I try so hard not to lurch off the table, but man, it hurts. “Breathe, Fiona,” the doctor reminds me. Breathing through my nose, I suck in and can’t help but hold my breath a bit. “Looks like this little one is ready to meet her mom and dad. I bet she’ll be here in the next hour.”
I suck in a breath. My brain seems to be unable to process what he’s saying. “In an hour,” I choke out.
Grinning at me, he shakes his head. “Yep.” He pats my leg. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you,” he reassures me as he gestures toward Alex.
Alex grips my shoulders, pulling me in close. “That’s right, love. I’m here for you and our little angel.” Melting into his body, I try to relax, but I get only a little reprieve before another contraction hits me. “Ugh.” Grunting out, I close my eyes, trying to breathe.
“That’s it, baby. You’ve got this,” Alex coos next to me.
When I look up, the doctor seemed to have disappeared. “Where did the doctor go?”
“He went to the bathroom. Buthe’ll be right back. He was worried that he wouldn’t have time, because this little one is coming fast,” the nurse explains from the crib area in the room.
“Shit,” I groan as I seek out Alex’s hand. More tears are streaming down my face. Right as the last contraction starts to relax I feel another one coming on. Thankfully the doctor walks back in at that moment. “I’m feeling pressure down there.”
“Okay. Let me see.” Then he drops into his seat and pulls my gown up to get a look. “Well, that might be because she’s crowning. Wow, she surely doesn’t want to wait. Okay, Fiona, it’s time. I need you to push with your next contraction.”
Suddenly, fear grips me even harder than before. I’m not ready to be a mom. Alex and I don’t even know what we are. He said he loved me but I haven’t been able to say it back. Is something wrong with me? What if I’m not enough for him? How did this happen so fast? It feels like just yesterday I was just trying to figure out how to advertise my business.
I look up at Alex, leaning into him as all my fears run through my mind. The flow of my tears has seemed to pick up, and I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m not strong enough.”
He grips my chin with one hand as the other remains on my shoulder. “Listen here, Fiona. You are the strongest person I know. You can do this.”
“I can do this,” I whisper out loud, but to myself mostly. His confidence somehow transfers to me at least for now. Giving me the strength to grit my teeth and push.
What feels like an eternity but is really only a few minutes passes, and I hear the best sound I’ve ever heard.
Lighting up, I squeeze the hand that is in Alex’s. “Is that her?”
“It’s her,” the doctor confirms as he pulls her up to see me, laying her on my chest as the nurse cleans her up.
Tears stream down my face again, but this time for a different reason. “Hey, baby girl. I’m your mommy. And I love you.” I introduce myself to our newest edition as I rub my fingertips softly against her fresh skin.
Alex and I stare at her while everyone around us continues to do their job, finishing up the delivery. My gaze leaves her for a little and now I know what I’m feeling. With the delivery and everything we’ve been through; I know that I’m in love with Alex. He has been the most surprising gift in this entire ordeal. Not wanting to hold back anymore, I grab his hand and pull it to my chest. “I love you, Alex. I have for a while now. I was just too scared to tell you.”
He pulls our intertwined hands toward his lips and kisses my fingers. “I love you too. You and our angel Callie Rose Hernandez.”