9. Sophie
9
Sophie
All Sophie wanted was to get her thoughts together about the move – it was, after all, the most pressing matter at hand. Todd had given her plenty of thinking time. But it seemed easier to distract herself with other matters. If she ignored things long enough the move might never eventuate.
The box was a perfect example of that. It sat beside her on the passenger seat of the car, beautifully gift-wrapped with a big pink bow around it. Every time it caught her eye it made her smile. Meena was going to get such a kick out of this gift, in more ways than one.
But when she arrived at Meena’s front door she found her dressed and ready to head out.
‘I come bearing a gift,’ Sophie said with a big smile.
‘Uh, thanks. I’d ask you in but I’ve got an appointment.’
‘Anything important?’
‘It’s nothing,’ Meena said. She looked distracted and uneasy.
‘Happy to chat if it’s something.’
‘Not sure I have time to chat just now.’ She pulled out her phone and checked the time. ‘Thank you for this, though.’ Meena took the box and put it on the small table beside the front door.
‘I wouldn’t leave it sitting out. Maybe put it in your bedroom,’ Sophie said.
‘Why?’ Meena raised an eyebrow at her.
‘It’s just – well, let’s just say if Sasha opens it, she might have some uncomfortable questions for you.’
‘Sasha won’t just open a present lying around.’
‘Kids can get curious.’
Meena sighed. ‘Just tell me what it is.’
That rubbed Sophie the wrong way. ‘I can take it back, if it’s a bad time for you.’
‘Sorry, I – uh, it’s just, I have this appointment. I’m already running late for it and, uh, to be honest, I’m kind of nervous about it.’
‘Oh. Is it a medical issue?’ Sophie suddenly felt worried for Meena.
‘No, nothing serious. Look, if I tell you, you’re going to have a go at me, so let’s just say for the sake of our friendship it’s nothing. I’ll chat to you about it maybe one day when I’ve worked out for myself what I’m going to do.’
‘Okay, well now you’ve piqued my interest.’
‘Sophie, just leave it.’
Meena picked up the box from the table and walked inside, leaving the front door open. Sophie came in and followed behind.
‘As your BFF, I demand to know.’
‘Are we still doing the BFF thing?’ Meena asked as she went into her bedroom.
‘I’ll be calling you my BFF even when I’m eighty.’
‘Don’t talk to me about eighty, I’m barely getting through forty here.’ She put the box on her side of the built-in cupboards. ‘And thank you for this, I appreciate you getting me a gift even though there was no reason to ... Oh wait, it’s not like our friendship anniversary or something, is it?’
‘I don’t think so. What day would we actually celebrate an anniversary? The day we first met or the day we went to that boutique and bought matching white tees?’
‘I’ve no idea. Anyway, I look forward to opening the gift later today and telling you what I think about what’s inside, but now I’ve got to dash.’
She started towards the front door, Sophie behind her again. ‘I kinda feel like your pet, just following you around the place.’
Meena didn’t respond. She was busy checking her phone.
Sophie took in Meena’s outfit. She was wearing a short red dress that barely came down to her knees. On her feet were stilettos; something she’d never seen Meena wear, as she seemed to favour practical footwear.
‘Wait, where are you headed? You’re looking very fancy. Are you meeting someone? Another BFF to take my place?’
Meena turned around and gave Sophie a withering look. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘You and Owen having a fancy date? Who’s babysitting Sasha?’
‘No, it’s not that either. Though I think Owen is planning to take Sasha out for pizza later. Anyway, I’m just going to call an Uber so—’
‘Oh, forget your Uber. I’ll drive you.’
‘What? No, don’t be silly. You don’t want to drive into the city.’
‘No, I insist. It’ll give us time to chat.’ Sophie said, with a big smile.
As Meena fumbled with the seatbelt, Sophie gave her the once-over before starting the car.
‘You look pretty sexy for someone going to a secret appointment on a Thursday afternoon.’
‘Just drop it, please.’
‘I don’t want to be a prude or anything, but that dress is so low-cut I can almost see the tops of your nips.’
‘Please, tell me you can’t!’ Meena started tugging at the top of her dress, pulling it up.
‘Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it,’ Sophie said, winking at Meena before turning her attention back onto the road.
She drove for a few minutes in silence as Meena squirmed around in her seat.
‘You know, you’d feel a lot better if you just told me,’ Sophie said. ‘I mean, look at you. You’re clearly a bundle of nerves.’
‘Oh god, can you please stop? I’m already on the verge of canning the whole thing.’
‘What thing?!’
‘The date! Geez! Happy now?’ Meena shouted.
‘Date? You just told me you and Owen weren’t going out—’ Sophie stopped. ‘Or was that all part of the set up? You’re going to pretend to be strangers and then pick each other up at some fancy hotel bar before heading upstairs to get your sexy on in the room?’
‘No, god, Sophie, please, you’re making this worse with everything you say.’
‘Fine, I’ll shut up then.’
But she couldn’t stay quiet for long.
‘Okay, so if it’s not that, then what is it?’
‘Fuck! Fine! I went on a dating app and started chatting to some men.’
Sophie almost hit the brakes. ‘You what?’
‘See, I knew this would be your reaction. If you can’t pretend to be understanding, I’d rather you remain quiet.’
Sophie took a deep breath. She wanted to be a supportive friend. As she figured out what to say to Meena, the silence in the car gained its own tension.
‘The longer you’re silent, the more I feel like you’re judging me.’
‘Well, you told me to be quiet.’
‘Tell your thoughts to be quiet as well.’
‘You may be able to control many things, but you can’t control my thoughts as well, Meena Jones!’
They both let out a huff and Sophie jabbed at the radio to mask their stifled fuming. Neither of them spoke for a while after that, with Meena focusing her attention on the view outside her window and Sophie on the road.
‘It was Asma’s fault,’ Meena finally said.
‘You going on a dating app was your sister’s fault? Okay, I’m happy to listen to you slag her off, but I don’t think she’s responsible for this.’
‘You should’ve seen her. The way she and Osman looked at each other. That’s when I knew. I can’t remember the last time Owen and I looked at each other like that.’
Sophie softened. ‘They probably have their tough times too.’
‘I’m sure they do, but there was so much love there ... Can you believe he was her first boyfriend? It makes no sense.’
Meena was pensive as she stared out the window. A car behind them honked.
‘I don’t know where the fuck he wants me to go,’ Sophie snarled, as she looked at the rear-view mirror and gave the driver the middle finger. Being behind the wheel of a car transformed Sophie from a relatively mild-mannered suburban mum into a vengeful beast.
‘I told you I’d get an Uber. You insisted on driving me,’ Meena muttered.
‘I know. Anyway, where are we heading?’
‘The Rooftop Bar.’
‘Fancy.’
‘Well, where else does one go on a first date?’
‘First date? Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I went on one.’ She turned around to look at Meena and noticed how nervous she looked. ‘You don’t have to go through with it, you know.’
‘No, I want to.’
‘You’d rather do this than go to counselling?’
‘No ... Yes ... I don’t know, Soph! What do you want me to say? I’ve been trying for years with Owen and he’s not changed a bit. Then the other night we finally had sex and it was so awful. It made me realise that he probably hates everything about me. But he’s stuck. We’re both stuck.’ She let out a long breath. ‘Isn’t the point of counselling to save a marriage that is worth saving? I’m not sure ours is.’
Sophie looked at her friend with compassion even though internally she was screaming, So leave him then! She felt that Meena was about to make a poor choice by going ahead with a random date instead of confronting the actual problem of her marriage. But it wasn’t for Sophie to say so – not at that moment, anyway.
A few minutes later they pulled up outside the bar.
‘Call me at any point. I’m at the end of the phone if you need rescuing,’ Sophie said as Meena got out.
‘Thanks for listening,’ she said. She looked at Sophie as she closed the door behind her. ‘I’ll be okay.’
Sophie wanted to believe her, but she couldn’t let go of the niggling feeling that her friend needed watching over, so she drove to a carpark around the corner and parked there.
As Sophie walked up to the entrance of the bar, she felt decidedly underdressed. It was cocktail hour. People were arriving at the bar in their suits and corporate dresses, while couples on dates were dressed to impress. Sophie was in her old trainers, a pair of jeans and a top that she hadn’t ironed. Still, the bar manager greeted her politely and asked how many were in her party.
‘One,’ she replied.
‘We only have a seat at the bar, if that’s okay?’ the manager said. Sophie nodded and he led her up to a sleek glass-top bar that extended almost the whole length of the place. It was big enough for her not to be immediately noticed. Sophie realised she didn’t actually have a plan or know what to do if Meena saw her. Would she apologise? Or would she say she had no choice, she was worried for her friend? She figured she would deal with that later.
All around her glamorous men and women sat around tinkling their glasses as if in celebration and laughing, having shaken off the tension of the corporate drama from the day. Sophie wanted to hide her make-up-less face and run away from them. They reminded her of how mumsy she had let herself become.
She awkwardly hoisted herself on to a high stool as the manager placed a bar menu in front of her.
‘Michael will look after you,’ he said, gesturing towards a handsome young man with an armful of tattoos, jiggling a cocktail shaker.
‘Be with you in a sec,’ Michael said, flashing her an incredible smile that made Sophie want to slink away. I don’t usually look this ordinary , she wanted to say.
She fished inside her bag, hoping to find a lippie. Much to her delight, among the debris at the bottom of her bag that included a stray piece of Lego, a bread stick, a packet of gum and some tissues, was a bright red lipstick. She was adept at putting it on with one hand while handling a child with the other, so she didn’t need a mirror to apply it. She tousled her hair and took a deep breath as she perused the extensive cocktail menu, finding herself overwhelmed by all the choices.
‘Have you decided?’ Michael was suddenly in front of her. He was even more attractive on closer inspection.
‘I don’t know where to begin,’ Sophie said.
‘It’s a big menu,’ he said, smiling. ‘How about you tell me what you like and I can make some suggestions.’
‘What I like? I, uh, I don’t—’ Sophie was flustered. She didn’t expect to be put on the spot like that.
‘Are you more of a sweet gal? Do you like it bitter, or maybe spicy?’
‘I, uh ...’ Sophie didn’t understand why she was blushing. ‘Just a martini, please.’
‘Gin or vodka? Dry, perfect or wet?’ His smile widened at that.
‘Whatever you choose,’ Sophie said, closing the cocktail menu.
‘Sure thing,’ Michael said. ‘I’ll leave the menu there in case you see anything else that catches your eye.’
Sophie nodded in return. When did she become this blubbering fool? She, who at one point was frequenting some of the best bars in the world, cutting down to size flirty bartenders with one brisk remark. When did she become this stuttering, hesitant woman? It was motherhood that had done it, she decided. It had come and taken, in one fell swoop, her confidence.
Michael placed a coaster in front of her, on top of which he set down a martini.
‘I decided a classy gal like you would probably go for a classic martini. But I did make it a little dirty.’ He winked at her. Sophie felt herself going red.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
‘Tell me what you think.’
Sophie picked up her drink as commanded and took a sip. ‘It’s perfect.’
‘Great! Did you want to order any bar snacks?’
‘I, uh, I don’t—’
‘I’d recommend the arancini. The oysters are pretty good too.’
‘Let’s get both, then,’ Sophie said.
‘So half a dozen oysters and two arancini balls?’
‘Yes, sounds good,’ she said. He could have said anything and she would have gone with it.
He smiled and walked off. Sophie took a big sip of her martini and then another. Before she knew it, the drink was finished. Her phone buzzed in her bag. She fished it out to find a message from Todd. You picking the kids from after school care?
Shit. She’d forgotten. She checked the time and saw it was almost 6 p.m. After six they started charging you $5 for every minute you were late.
Sorry, am in the city. Meena’s having a crisis. Can you pls get them? she typed back.
You could’ve given me notice!
My bad. This was last minute.
Heading there now.
She sighed with relief and put her phone away. Good old Todd. He could always be relied on to pick up the pieces if she was falling apart. Knowing he was there filled her with satisfaction and texting him about Meena had reminded her why she was out in the first place. She began to scan the room to see if she could catch sight of her friend, but the lights had been dimmed. Couples huddled in dark corners of the bar. Meena and her date could be any of them.
‘The martini was that good, huh?’ Michael said, picking up her empty glass. ‘Another?’
‘I shouldn’t,’ Sophie replied.
‘Up to you, but I can recommend the lychee martini if you’re looking for a sweeter alternative to the classic.’
What was it about this man that made Sophie want to giggle like a girl? He could have sold her anything and she would have bought it without hesitation.
‘Go on then,’ she said. As he turned to leave, she spoke up. ‘By the way, have you seen a woman in a tight red dress?’
Michael gave her a curious smile.
‘She’s a friend. She was meant to be here,’ Sophie said flustered.
‘Lots of women in tight red dresses, I’m afraid.’
‘Yeah, I should’ve elaborated. She’s South Asian. Has shoulder-length dark hair. I think she’s on a date.’
‘Sorry, I haven’t. But I’ll let you know if I do.’
‘Okay, thanks,’ Sophie said.
After he left reality came crashing down on her. What was she doing there? Spying on a friend who clearly wanted to be left alone? She needed to respect boundaries more. She herself had set very clear boundaries with both friends and family. As soon as anyone started to act too needy, she was the one to step away. Her own husband’s recent neediness to be near his parents was almost a turn off. And yet here she was, overstepping the mark with Meena.
Just then Michael turned up with her arancini and oysters.
‘So these here are truffle arancini,’ Michael said, placing the plates before her. ‘And many say they are even better than the ones served at The Ivy in London. And the oysters are fresh Sydney Rock Oysters dressed in a light Asian vinaigrette.’
‘These look amazing,’ Sophie said. ‘I kind of feel like a fool eating them all on my own.’
‘No, not at all. I’d say you look like an absolute queen for doing so.’
‘I’m certainly not dressed like a queen!’
‘No, you look great!’
‘Ha! Honestly, you don’t have to say that.’
‘Trust me, I don’t say anything I don’t want to. You look good.’ He said this with such certainty, his eyes locking with hers for a moment too long, that Sophie felt herself briefly swooning. In another life she would have asked for his number or left hers on the back of the bill. But in this one all she could do was relish the thrill that came with holding the attention of a young, good-looking man.
She ate the arancini. Even though she hadn’t tasted the ones from The Ivy, she couldn’t imagine anything beating these. She sipped her lychee martini and slurped the oysters and forgot why she had come to that bar in the first place. Michael would come past from time to time and they would have brief conversations, but mostly, Sophie remembered how good she felt taking time out to splurge on herself. As she paid the bill, Michael asked if she’d had a good night, and she could genuinely say that she did.
‘I think I need to take myself out on a date more often,’ she told him.
‘And maybe, if you like, you could go out on a date with someone like me,’ he said. She noticed a slight stutter as he said it and she couldn’t believe that despite how much she had doubted herself, she still had it.
‘I’m not sure what my husband would say about that,’ she said, smiling as she waved goodbye to him.
She walked out of the bar floating on cloud nine. Only when she was almost at the exit did she notice, tucked away in a corner, Meena with her arms folded, drinking a glass of wine, with a man who could best be described as looking like an accountant, what with his beige pants, white shirt and silver-rimmed glasses. He seemed to be droning on at her. She needn’t have worried about Meena cheating on Owen after all.
That evening she returned home to find her children all tucked up in bed and her husband putting the dirty dishes away in the dishwasher. She didn’t even give him a chance to say hello. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and drew him into a kiss, pressing his body against the kitchen counter.
‘Okay, how much have you had to drink?’ Todd said when she released him from the kiss.
‘Only two. And yes, I took a taxi home, which means we’ll have to go pick up the car from a carpark in the city. Now tell me, do you know how sexy you are?’
Todd smiled and shook his head. ‘I don’t know. How sexy am I?’
‘So sexy I want to do you, right now, right here in the kitchen.’ She barely got the words out when Todd pounced on her. Kissing her in all the right places. They found themselves tumbling onto the floor, urgent in their desire for each other.
The next morning, back in their bed, she woke up from the buzzing of the alarm on her phone. It was 6.30 a.m. and she could hear the shower running in the ensuite. Todd must’ve got up before her. She quickly glanced at her phone. There were a couple of text messages from Rani and a LinkedIn notification telling her that Todd had put up another post. She had started the alerts for Todd in case he was posting about his family – which he had been doing less often now.
She checked Todd’s LinkedIn first. He’d posted just half an hour ago.
Since time immemorial, men have been trying to figure out what women want. There have been countless books, talks, podcasts, blogs, speaking tours, you name it. We all have our take on the topic and, admittedly, it’s taken me a while to work this out. But I’ve noticed that what women want is for men to not only be decent human beings but, on a practical level, to help out. They want you to be an equal partner with raising children and contributing equally to the domestic load. Yes, this might seem obvious to many, but as my own relationship grows with my incredible and talented wife, I’ve seen that every time I have stepped up, her level of appreciation of not only me but us and our relationship does too. So, men, take it from another bloke, it’s time to grow up and step up. She needs you to be there, not just for her emotional needs but for the day-to-day ones too. Trust me, you’ll not regret it.
Sophie couldn’t help but smile. One night of sex in the kitchen and he was waxing lyrical about their relationship – well, as lyrical as one could get on LinkedIn.
Under the post one of Todd’s friends, Ryan, had commented: ‘Did Soph make you write this?’
Rani’s text, Sophie noticed, was sent at 3 a.m.
Thank you again for getting the Uber for me I’ve been thinking about you and Meena and I would love to see you both again. It hasn’t been easy for me to make friends
Ten minutes later she’d sent another text.
Please ignore my prev msg. I’m so embarrassed. You’ve both been so kind, pls don’t think I’m trying to take advantage.
Bless her, Sophie thought as she quickly fired off a text in response. Would love to catch up with you again. When works? And pls don’t be embarrassed!
The shower stopped and soon Todd was in the room, a towel draped around his hips and another in his hands, with which he dried his hair. Sophie watched him as he moved around the room, unaware that she was awake and checking him out. She appreciated that he was taking care of himself. Even though he was now in his forties, Todd was fit, the six-pack he worked on religiously with his personal trainer bearing testament to that. He was also lucky he had retained most of his hair. Though it was now slightly greying, it blended in well with his naturally blonde locks. He was tall and handsome and kind. Somehow she had lucked out with a random guy she’d met in a hostel all those years ago.
‘Stop staring,’ Todd said.
‘How’d you know I was staring?’ she asked.
‘I can see you in the mirror. You’ve been checking me out. Good to see I’ve still got it,’ he said as he turned to face her while comically flexing his muscles.
‘That LinkedIn post worked a treat,’ she said. ‘Lock the door.’
‘But the kids—’ he started.
‘I’ve just given them extra screentime,’ she said, putting down the phone after increasing the time limit on the kids iPad through an app. Todd smiled as he locked the door and flicked off the towel around his hips.
Their unexpected detour from the usual morning routine meant they were rushing to get the kids out the door in time.
‘You’re not going to the office?’ he asked, as he was walking out the door with the kids and noticed Sophie still in her robe.
‘I’ll work from home,’ she said.
‘But it’s good to go in from time to time. Show your face. It’s helpful from a career perspective.’
‘Save it for the LinkedIn posts.’
‘No, I mean it. There’s a lot to be said for front of face, front of mind, especially if you’re looking to progress.’
Sophie was taken aback. ‘Are you kidding? Don’t you want us to move?’
Todd immediately looked like he regretted bringing up going into the office. ‘I just meant there are always possibilities you could explore careerwise, even if we do move.’
‘I have no interest in exploring career options at a role you basically got for me,’ Sophie said flatly. Todd sighed.
‘Dad!’ Tilly called out. ‘We’re gonna be late!’
‘I’m coming,’ Todd replied. ‘Look, let’s talk about this some more. How about I come home for lunch?’
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘There’s a lot we should probably talk about.’ She waved to the kids and drifted towards the kitchen to make herself another cup of coffee.