Chapter 20 #3
“Nathaniel, stay for supper. I’m sure Chloe will be back soon—”
“No she won’t,” he interrupted, his voice hoarse, but whether it was anger or disappointment or something else he couldn’t say.
“What?” Dalia asked, eyebrows raised. “She said she’d be back by suppertime.”
“No she won’t. She’s gone.” He didn’t want to show her the note folded in his pocket, and he didn’t want to show her the wanted poster either.
Dalia frowned. “Gone? Gone where?”
“Away,” was all he could say past the knot growing in his throat. He tried to push that knot deep down inside but it refused to budge.
“What do you mean away?” Dalia gasped, eyes wide with alarm. “Gone? I don’t understand.” She put the carrot and paring knife down and wiped her hands on her apron. “But why would she leave like this?” She shook her head in dismay. “Without saying goodbye?”
God help him, he lied. “I’m going to find her, bring her back,” he promised. “Both of them.”
Before his mother could say anything else, Nathaniel quickly left the boarding house and headed through town, his thoughts racing. He would need his rifle and a few supplies. By the time he returned to his office, feeling betrayed, he’d also managed to tamp down feelings of pity for her.
She had lied. She’d been lying to him and his family the entire time.
Still, and uppermost in his mind, was that the woman he and his family had sheltered, the one he’d grown so fond of, even close to admitting to himself that he’d fallen in love with, was not just a married woman, but one married to the man who had killed his own father.
His head hurt. He didn’t know what to do with so many conflicting emotions.
He stepped into his office and closed the door, lowering his chin to his chest and trying to tamp down emotions he didn’t want to feel.
He strode to his chair behind the desk and sank down onto it, feelings of uncertainty battering him from all directions.
They had offered her safety; a roof over her head, food, security, comfort …
and friendship, and even more than that.
“Go then,” he muttered, knowing that behind his anger another emotion lurked. Shame rushed through him. “She’s lost her way, Lord. So have I.” He sat a moment and then heaved a sigh. He needed to go after her.
By the time he returned to his office, his thoughts confused, he knew he had to find Chloe in spite of the fact she’d apparently left of her own volition. Though questions whirled in his mind, it wasn’t like his family had held her prisoner.
She could leave anytime she wanted. Yet the secret she’d held so close … why? Why had she been so afraid to tell him or his family the truth about her past? The actions of her husband weren’t her fault and she carried no blame for them.
He’d told her of his father’s murder by the Blackwell gang and she hadn’t said a word at the time.
After reading the truth in her letter, he now understood why.
He sank onto his chair a moment, trying to think, trying to anticipate where she could be.
He wouldn’t go riding off half-cocked, his emotions guiding decisions.
Lillian was right. He had to think clearly.
Were Chloe and Eliza miles away from the orphanage already? Which direction would they go? Or was she already on a stage bound somewhere, to a place she thought she’d never be found? What if—
His mind barely registered the sound of footsteps approaching before the door to his office swung open. He glanced up as Lillian and Thomas stepped inside.
“What’s happened?” Lillian demanded, her words tumbling out one after the other. “Mother’s worried that Chloe hasn’t come home yet. She told me that she’s been gone since this morning. What’s going on, Natty? Mama told me you’d come by earlier.”
He nodded. “I did.”
“Did you leave this in her cabin?” She pulled the folded wanted poster from her skirt pocket and placed it on his desk. “This wanted poster for Silas Crowe, one of the outlaws that killed …” She looked away, her lips tightly pressed together before she continued. “You need to go look for her.”
“I am,” he snapped. He frowned and glanced at Thomas, who seemed intent on looking everywhere but at him.
He finally noticed that he and Lillian held hands now, hers gripping Thomas’s tightly.
He turned once again to his sister and then Thomas as he straightened in his chair.
“And yes, I left the wanted poster there,” he said quietly, trying to hide his hurt.
“I came back to town to gather supplies and some men before I went to look for her.”
Lillian frowned again. “Mama said she went to the orphanage for the day.”
He briefly closed his eyes and heaved a sigh, slowly shaking his head. “No, I don’t think she did. At least not for the day.”
Lillian’s eyes grew wide. “What? What’s going on, Nathaniel?” She glanced down at the wanted poster on the desk. “And what does this have to do with Chloe?”
Several moments passed before he finally answered, his voice was rough with anger and disappointment. “Everything.”