Chapter Forty-Three
Asher
I’m driving aimlessly as my brain works overtime. Now that I know what it’s like to actually touch her, the obsession has gotten worse. I don’t want to stop any more or hold myself back.
This is going to take some work. She wasn’t wrong about that. I’m more than ready to start. I don’t want to make the mistakes that Max and Trevor have made with her. I feel like I only have one shot, and I need to figure out what I’m doing.
I need to meet up with Max and tell him I’ve met her and I’m in. I’m not going to let either of them do any more damage to her, and if they try, I will put a stop to that shit immediately. I don’t want to embarrass her or speak for her when I see them, but I’m not going to sugarcoat how I feel.
I can see her with Max. The two of them would get into enough trouble that I’d need bail money saved for emergencies. She wouldn’t let him go to jail by himself. When I grin at that thought, I know I’m in trouble.
Max will be ecstatic over this, Trevor not so much. Too fucking bad.
I pull over in the first parking lot I see and pull out my phone. I’m not putting this off. We need to be at least on speaking terms before I confess that I met her. I need to tell her that I know Max. That’s the more difficult confession. I don’t care what Max and Trevor think. I only care what Tera thinks.
In hindsight, my sister prepared me for a poly scenario, trying to urge me to broaden my horizons and stop focusing on one person. Even when I told her there wasn’t one person, much less multiple, just like I told Max. Her response had always been, “Exactly.”
I bite the bullet and start texting. I’m too giddy to call him.
It wounded my ego when she refused the one-on-one sessions before. I didn’t know she was trying to keep me from knowing that she wants me, too. She said I’m lickable.
Me: This is Asher. We need to meet up.
Max: Tonight? Trevor mandatory. No getting out of it.
Me:Good.
Max: Awesome. Around 10? Bar outside of town called Bittersweet Outpost.
It’s just past three now, so it gives me plenty of time to work out what I need to get out of them and what I need to say.
Me: I’ll be there.
I sit in the car, going back and forth with scenarios and how they could play out. I typed out that I couldn’t go three times, deleting it over and over.
Am I doing the right thing?
What if I’m wrong and this doesn’t work? What happens then? Does she look at me like the maniac I am and walk away?
I can’t sit in this confined car any longer. I need to move while I lose my mind, and pacing helps for some unknown reason. I get out of the car and glance up at the sign above the building. I don’t really care what it is. I can wander up and down aisles until ten just to get this stress out.
Sweet Secrets.
It sounds like a damn lingerie shop. Of course, I end up here just to fuck me over a little more. I’m already wound up from holding her. I don’t need help. This is a horrible idea.
With a shake of my head, I walk inside anyway. I stop in surprise with a cringe. It’s obviously an adult store, but it”s more upscale than anything I’ve been into. Fate has a twisted sense of humor right now. I might as well explore to amuse myself.
I wander around until I come to an aisle filled with different types of shibari rope. I’ve been to places with small selections. This place has so many it takes up an entire aisle on its own.
I had no idea this place was even here. It’s even close to the gym. How did I miss it? I usually have to order my ropes online to get good quality, and this place has practically been next door the whole time.
I’m crouched down, holding a bamboo rope, testing the textures when I hear her.
The affect her voice has on me is instant. I swear my dick is determined to rise at anything having to do with her.
My first thought is, what is she doing here, and the second is, why does she sound so excited? Is she here with someone? Is fucking Max off his text ban?
“You look amazing in that. He definitely will get the hint with this one. Bye-bye, work distractions,” Tera giggles as she compliments someone.
“Are you sure?” Another voice asks loudly. I wince at the volume compared to Tera’s innocent reassurance.
“I’m not going to lie to anyone about seducing someone. What kind of person does that?” She protests back, sounding horrified.
There’s a long pause before they both say, “Shade.”
The following laughter is loud and carefree. My lips twitch up in response. I’ve never heard her laugh before. I’m already in love with the sound.
I stay crouched down, hiding where I am in the hopes that she won”t see me. If she does, that means she wants to come down this out-of-the-way aisle. Maybe I do want her to find me next to a shelf full of my brand of kink. Fuck, that could either be amazing or terrifying. Would this make her run?
“You don’t think my butt looks huge in this?”
“Andi, you look edible. He’s going to love it. Honestly, out of everything I’ve lost in the last few months, my butt was the hardest hit to take.”
I recognize that name from Max’s stories and frown before her words sink in.
Her ass is perfect!
“I do miss the lush butt. However, the bite-size version is hot, too. Perfect handful. You need to start wearing clothes that actually fit you. I know it will help.”
What kind of friendship is this? Max has made no mention of her current status with her ex-best friend.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” Tera answers back quietly.
“Sweetie, are you doing better with the forbidden subject?” The concerned tone quickly turns to a panicked shout, “Please don’t throw something at me!”
“I’m so sorry about that, Andi,” Tera’s voice drops with shame, making me frown. “I just can’t stand people talking about it. It’s like an automatic throw any object in reach response now, and I can’t stop it.”
“Hey, you deal however you can, and I’ll learn to dodge, ok? No hard feelings at all. But… would you mind giving me an answer? I’ve been thinking up some ideas to help.”
There’s the sound of hangars moving around before Tera sighs, “I’m getting better.”
“Better, as in eating more smoothies? Or better as in the body affirmations are working and solid foods are getting easier?”
“Hey, those smoothies are amazing. Don’t knock them. They’re like an undiscovered religion, and I’m worshiping at the altar.” There’s the sound of gagging in response, and Tera giggles.
“You’re deflecting, Tera,” Andi says gently.
“It’s worse when I’m stressed,” she mutters dismally. My frown becomes a scowl. “With all this stuff going on with Max, any time I think about it, I want to throw up.”
She has an eating disorder.
The knowledge knocks me sideways with surprise. A few puzzle pieces click into place. Max got her drinking smoothies because she was having trouble. Does he realize how much trouble?
That explains the poor-fitting outfits she usually wears to class. The only time I’ve ever seen skin was when Shade dragged her to class. I almost swallowed my tongue when I saw her.
She’s hiding her body so others won’t judge.
I will deck the first fucker that dares to say a word wrong to her.
“Any ideas how I can help? Is there something I can do?” Andi asks in a muffled tone. Probably changing back into her normal clothes.
“Nothing really,” Tera mumbles. “Unless you can magically get my brain to stop thinking food is evil.”
“Tera’s brain, listen up! Food is her real best friend, and I’m tired of your shit!”
The light giggle that comes out of her makes my heart hurt. She’s facing something serious that concerns the shit out of me, but she’s doing what she can. She’s fighting. I’m fucking proud of her for that. How many demons does my angel face every day and keep getting up?
“You know what you need?” Andi continues, and there are a few thumps like she’s hitting the walls of the changing room.
“I’m afraid to ask,” Tera sounds teasing and unsure.
“Someone to feed you.”
“What?” She sounds thoughtful as we both wait for Andi to explain.
“You said the affirmations don’t work sometimes because you feel like you’re lying to yourself. So, what if a guy gave you the affirmations and fed you? I’m sure there are people out there like that.”
“That would be wonderful,” she sighs wistfully as if it’s a dream that could never happen in real life. “I’ve never imagined anything like that.”
Fuck, I volunteer. My dick agrees enough to make me light-headed at the thought of feeding her bite after bite.
She can never know I was here. If she found out I just heard all of this, she would definitely run. How do I get out of here without her seeing?
“Are there really guys that would do that? How weird would that conversation be? Hey, can you tell me I’m amazing and feed me a sandwich?” She says in a mocking, low tone.
She’s already looking for pitfalls when all she would have to do is walk around an aisle and witness the raging hard-on I’m trying to quietly adjust so it isn’t as noticeable.
“Let’s look it up on the dating app after you get off work. There has to be a category list for the dom side of things, right?”
Hold up. She’s on a fucking dating app? That does not sound like her at all.
“Umm,” Tera’s lackluster response makes me narrow my eyes.
Go on, answer her. Just how much trouble are you in, angel?
“You haven’t even opened it, have you?” Andi demands.
She better not have.
“Did you even download it?”
“Umm.”
“Tera! I signed you up for it and everything. The hard part is done! All you have to do is log in and say, ‘Meh, I could do him.’”
No, she really fucking couldn’t, Andi.
“You’re downloading the app tonight. I’m not taking no for an answer. Don’t make me call Shade.”
Fuck that.
I pull out my phone with a snap, set it to silent, and shoot off a text to the man in question. He gave it to me for emergencies only on Tuesday. Right after he told me he was going to investigate my life so thoroughly I would be calling him for proctologist exams. I would say this is an emergency.
Me: If you try to make Tera download some dom dating app on her phone I will kill you slowly and I don’t give a fuck about witnesses.
Shade: Where is she
He isn’t going to ask who this is? I’ve never texted him before. He doesn’t know my number. He must think this is someone else. Though, I doubt Max would text Shade and threaten his life. He’s terrified of Tera’s dictator.
Me: This is Asher. I’m at Sweet Secrets.
Shade: You are at her work leave her alone
Me: I didn’t know she worked here asshole. I’m hiding behind an aisle so I don’t embarrass her. She’ll run.
Shade:Distraction incoming
What the fuck? Is this mission impossible?
A second later, a phone starts ringing, and I cringe. He isn’t calling her, is he? If he’s trying to make her run from me, I will hunt him down and kill him now. Fuck waiting.
“Number two! I was just talking about you!” Andi’s voice is taunting, and Tera groans.
“Don’t team up, please? The two of you together is like a death sentence. Shade, just say no.”
“Now, Shade, would I do that?”
Did he call her friend? What is he thinking?
“Oh. Really? You’re not fucking with me, right? Ok. Ok! I’m doing it!” She sounds excited based on the ear-piercing volume of her voice.
“What’s going on?” Tera asks suspiciously. Her voice is getting farther away. I tense, but she doesn’t pass the aisle on her way to the front of the store. “Did he kill someone, and he’s celebrating?”
“You’re going to check me out for this sweet lingerie right this second. I think I do want those boots. You have a size twelve, right?”
“Andi, you’re a size six,” she protests.
“They aren’t for me, they’re for Brian. Size twelve?”
“I’ll have to look in the back,” she sounds bewildered.
After a moment, Andi says, “Mission accomplished.”
It falls quiet, and a text comes through.
Shade:Exit now
I don’t bother responding as I stand. As soon as I’m up, blue eyes narrow on me in speculation from the strawberry blonde at the counter. She has both elbows propped on the counter behind her as she takes me in. She raises an eyebrow and grins evilly at me. My eyes narrow in response.
“Should I invite him to family dinner tonight?” She speaks, and it’s the same voice that Shade just called, a phone pressed to her ear.
I hold up my phone, pointing to an app and shaking my head with a dark scowl.
“Don’t argue. I’m inviting him, it’s done. Send him details.” She hangs up the phone and winks at me before turning back to the counter. “Better hurry. She’s going to realize that size won’t fit him any second now.”
I don’t argue and hurry out the door while she laughs hysterically.
Once I’ve pulled out of the parking lot, my phone chimes again.
Shade: 6 tonight le chique
This guy can’t text to save his life.