The Sidekick

Chapter Fifty

Tera

“First off, let’s see what he put on you.” I pull the plain chair up to the desk and crack open the lid, powering her on.

“Your diary is on this thing?” Max pulls the second chair up next to me, staring at the screen like it’s the answer to all his prayers.

“Not for long. Depending on what kind of viruses he put on her, he could be monitoring my actions as we speak. I’ll do a clean sweep before I get into anything serious and delete any files he put his dirty fingers on. Then all I have to worry about are copies.”

Satan has just pulled his chair around to watch when the password screen pops up.

“Turn your heads,” I demand, fingers poised over the keys. Once they both chuckle and face away, I type it in as fast as I can.

“Whatever it is, it’s long,” Max comments. “Can I look now?”

“No. Stay oblivious, frowny face.”

He turns to me with a glare.

I start the process of finding anything he could have put on the laptop and sit back with a sigh. “This is going to take a while.”

Satan shrugs and pulls out his phone. “I’ll order some pizza. What would you like?”

My fingers freeze on the keys as a chill washes over me. “Nothing, I brought my own lunch.”

When he looks at me with a frown, I can see Max’s head shaking from the corner of my eye. The subject gets dropped and silence reigns.

I text Asher to keep him up to date, settling back in the chair.

Max twists, draping his legs over my thighs with a loud groan. I pull his calves up a little more to stay comfortable and resettle.

“Max,” Satan mutters darkly as he scans food options.

“What? I’m not bothering her,” he protests but he has a smug grin on his face.

“He really isn’t,” I confirm absently. “It feels nice.”

“Really?” Max asks in surprise, smile wiped away.

“Yeah,” I frown. My laptop is sluggish responding to me. There’s definitely something on here. Along with a million updates I don’t need, I’m sure.

“Is there anything I’ve done that actually bothers you?” I’m not paying attention to his face, but he sounds super mad.

I think about it with half of my brain, using the other side to focus on my laptop. “I can’t think of anything. Maybe not talking to me? But I’m not really mad about that, it’s just fun to tease you. I like grumpy Max as much as gossipy Max.”

They stare at either side of my face. I can feel the attention tingles on my cheeks but I ignore them.

By the time the pizza arrives I’m done with my scans and pouting. I start removing all of the viruses he put on her.

“I should back-hack him for this. What a nosy jerk.”

“You know how to do that?” Satan’s eyes narrow on me. My shoulders tense at the speculation there.

“How did you learn all this?” Max asks with a wide grin, either oblivious to Satan’s mistrust or trying to make light of it.

“You can learn anything if you apply yourself,” I shrug, trying to be casual. “Computers are fun.”

“What did he do to the computer?” Max asks and takes a giant bite. I’m surprised he doesn’t choke.

“He’s got a link from my laptop to some software so he can spy and open my stuff whenever he wants. As soon as it powered on, he got an alert that I’m active on here.”

“Are you going to get him back?” Satan scowls as he watches.

“No,” I sigh in defeat. “I’ve called a truce on our mini-war due to heartbreak. I can’t kick him while he’s down. But I can boot him out of here and gloat about it.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough,” Max pouts. Satan murmurs in agreement.

“I’ll deal with the dictator, don’t worry,” I pat his leg comfortingly.

When I finally have an all-clear that everything is gone, I pop my knuckles, ready to get started.

“What’s first?” Max avidly watches as I log into the cameras around their townhouse.

“I need to verify a few things, so I’ve got to watch some footage.”

“Is this their place?” Satan asks with interest. Nothing like a little peeping to get people’s interest.

“Yeah. It was Andi’s a year ago. She moved to a bigger place when her trio started living with her. I set up hidden cameras everywhere so I would get alerts if somebody broke in.”

“Was this when she was being stalked?” He leans back to watch my face. I’m too invested in pulling up all of the cameras to look back at him.

“Yeah. I had her permission to do it, but not theirs. They don’t know it’s all still there.”

“Have you been watching them?” Max glares. I do a double take at the open jealousy on his face.

“No! Gross! Don’t make me throw up today, please? I’m begging you.” I shudder in disgust. Now I’m really nervous about what I might see on here. I sit back, horrified. “Now I don’t know if I can watch this. Move your legs in case I have to run to the bathroom.”

They laugh like I’m joking, but I’m really not. The thought of witnessing them betraying Shade actually makes me nauseous.

“Shade doesn’t know about the cameras, and I didn’t tell him I’m doing this. Swear to me that whatever we see here doesn’t leave this room.” I’m dead serious. If they think this is a joke, I’m taking my baby and doing this at home, agreement or not.

“I’d never do that, no matter how tempting. I swear,” Max agrees easily, looking more concerned.

I turn to Satan, waiting.

“I swear,” he says grimly.

My eyes flicker over his face as I decide whether or not I believe him.

“What are you expecting to see?” He adds on with a darker frown.

“Shade said,” I trail off with a wince as I remember his devastated expression. “They had a misunderstanding and he was going over to explain. I’m so proud of him for taking the initiative and they ruined it! He said Blaze was on the stairs with a naked chick who was supposed to be a colleague. Blaze said some mean stuff to him. But he also said Felix said it wasn’t what it looked like. I just want to make sure before I do anything. If I can tell Shade that it really wasn’t what it looked like, he might get some hope back, you know? Having a broken heart sucks. He’s a jerk, but he’s my jerk, and he deserves better.”

Determination renewed, I open them all.

“That’s a lot of cameras,” Max seems creeped out as he eyes me.

“One for every entry point and different angles of the rooms where someone can hide. I know where I would hide if I was breaking in. I set it up to watch those areas too.”

They both nod in understanding while I explain.

“He broke in here,” I point at the window over the kitchen sink. “Don’t ask me how that guy fit, but he did it. He walked right up the staircase like he owned it. I set off all of her house alarms to scare him away, but he was determined. It took the police too long to get to her. By the time they showed up, he was gone, and Andi was at the bottom of the stairs, all crumpled up. I hate those stairs. They’re cursed.”

“Why did you never tell us this was going on?” Satan demands, jolting me back to the present.

“And put everyone here at risk? No way!” I snap back in shock. “How many women come in here for a drink or a good time? How many of them fit that worm’s profile? It was too risky. I did the smart thing. As soon as I noticed the worm’s victim profile, I emailed her dad. The second I saw it! I got the police involved, I got her dad to look into it, and he sent the bodyguards. I got her focused on three guys so she could have backup, not that they’re spectacular or anything, but they’re perfect for her. I did my flipping best!”

The frustration of having every move I made back then questioned one more time brings me to a boiling point. I ignore them as I call up the footage saved on the cloud and set it to play from the end of their Muay Thai class on. Then I sit back to watch with a huff.

“It isn’t your fault some crazy asshole picked Andi as a target,” Satan says softly.

“I know that,” I glare at the monitor and wipe a tear from my cheek angrily.

“What you did for her was beyond friendship, babygirl. You took care of your own as best you could. You did a great job.”

My lower lip trembles as I fight not to cry, refusing to acknowledge his words. I bite back the demand that he stop calling me that because I doubt he’ll listen. I also don’t want to admit that hearing him say it makes me want to lean into him and absorb some of his evil strength.

I skip through the blank spots and focus on when they arrive home. I didn’t realize that Ira and Brody were there too. Was Shade living here before he moved in with me? There aren’t enough bedrooms for that. Was he sleeping on the floor?

The four guys trudge in. They each go their separate ways without acknowledging each other.

“You better feel bad, you jerks,” I mutter and note who goes where. “I hope you feel bad forever.”

Ira goes into a bedroom. Brody follows him after he grabs a beer from the fridge. Felix steps outside and paces restlessly. Blaze sits at the kitchen table and glares a lot.

I pull up the bedroom camera as a main focus, leaving the rest to shrink down. Ira is pacing as Brody tries to calmly explain something. I pause it and go into the settings. The option for sound is turned off. I huff in frustration. This is what I get for not keeping up with the cameras.

“Anybody good at lip reading?” I ask hopefully. They both look at me like I’m crazy.

“Dang it.” South would be able to. I should send this to her and see what she thinks.

I unpause and watch as the conversation becomes a heated argument. At one point, they’re loud enough that Blaze comes to the stairs and yells something that makes them stop. They leave the bedroom, pass Blaze, and get into a vehicle, driving away.

The twins stay separated for hours. I start skipping ahead as it becomes apparent they aren’t moving anytime soon. Another car pulls up and a woman gets out, dressed for a night on the town or a fancy dinner. I’m assuming this is the mysterious Melissa.

Some women can pull off the short skirt and heels thing so beautifully. Sadly, I am not one of them. The envy lives on.

“She looks amazing in that dress,” I sigh wistfully. “For a jerk.”

“Her ass is flat,” Max shrugs. Satan makes a dismissive sound.

Blaze gets up, opens the door, and she walks in. It seems to surprise him as he watches. They talk casually for a minute before Felix comes in, looking confused. It’s weird to see his face so expressive.

They continue their conversation, her being flirty and Blaze reciprocating while Felix watches. She turns to the stairs with a come-hither look and I roll my eyes. “The subtle art of seducing a scumbag.”

Max chokes on a laugh.

She goes up the steps and into the bedroom Ira and Brody argued in.

“What the heck! Who sleeps where here? I’m so confused,” I flap my hands around in frustration. These guys are a giant puzzle.

She goes through drawers, glancing at the cracked doorway occasionally.

“Is she hoping to score money or what?” Max leans forward to see. I don’t expand it because I’m mainly focused on the argument going on between Felix and Blaze at the bottom of the stairs.

“You know what? Let her, they deserve it.”

“Tera,” Satan gives my name the same warning tone he gives Max. I straighten in my seat with my chin lifted stubbornly. I’m not changing my mind.

When she’s done investigating everything, she quickly undresses. Completely. She was wearing a bra but no panties. She puts the heels back on and struts over to the bed.

“Wow,” my eyes widen in surprise. She’s seriously brave.

“What is it with chicks stripping down and waiting for people in their beds?” Max glances at Satan in bewilderment. “Is it some kind of female instinct?”

“I have never had the urge to strip down in some guy’s place and roll around on his sheets. But I’m weird, so maybe it’s a thing? Does she wear her shoes in bed? That seems like a recipe for sand in the sheets.” I shudder at the thought.

“You don’t even have little crumbs in your bed, do you?” Max teases.

I glare at him. “No. I’m not a heathen.”

“You’re out, Max,” Satan laughs.

“I like a bedtime snack!” He protests loudly.

“You get whatever it is everywhere, babe.”

“Whatever,” he pouts.

The woman flings the sheets around and rolls around in them like she’s marking her territory. I’ve never seen anything like this. She fluffs pillows and tosses them everywhere. Then her clothes get placed in strategic spots that make no sense to me. The dress goes halfway across the room with a toss, and she drops the bra in the doorway.

“What is she doing? Nesting?” I tilt my head as if the different angle could help me figure it out.

Max laughs as Satan shakes his head. “She’s setting someone up. But who?”

“Oh shit,” Max snaps his fingers and agrees. “Just like Monica. She tried to make it look like she was sleeping with Trevor so I would get pissed and leave him. She didn’t realize we actually spoke to each other like adults. Sometimes at least.”

“You guys let this keep on happening? I would have started laying traps everywhere,” I shake my head. I’m sure there are a lot of stories they could tell me.

“Bear traps?” Max scoffs.

“Aluminum can pyramid traps? They’re so loud when they fall. Tripwires. That kind of thing.”

They both stare at me in surprise.

“You guys have no imagination,” I shake my head with a heavy sigh. “If I broke in some place and set off a whole tower of empty soda cans, do you know how embarrassing that would be? Now imagine I’m trying to be all sexy and end up falling on a tripwire. How bold would you have to be to get up and keep going after that? Oh! She’s on the move!”

She’s all sweaty and out of breath now as she saunters towards the stairs. I lost track of the twins, but they’re both talking at the base of the stairs. I expand the stair camera, the base of the stairs camera, and an aerial view from the gaudy chandelier, sending the rest of the cams to thumbnail size.

“You’re scary good at this,” Max comments as if he’s impressed.

“I watched Andi’s back for seven months. It’s mostly muscle memory now. I also know how to click out of this super quick and cry myself to sleep because what has been seen cannot be unseen,” I shudder with revulsion.

“Can I say gross this time?” Satan’s lip curls with disgust. I nod, patting his shoulder in sympathy before I realize what I’m doing and snatch my hand back.

The woman slowly steps down, drawing their attention. Felix does a double take and Blaze gapes at her. She does some kind of breast-rubbing move that makes me cringe for her.

“Sweetie, no. Too much.”

“Are you rating her performance?” Max starts laughing at my horrified expression.

“She’s going to fall in those heels if she’s not careful.” I’m holding my breath as I watch her wobble a little.

Satan starts laughing, and Max gets louder.

“I would have to be asked to do this with three months of prep time just to practice walking in heels,” I shake my head. “On stairs? I admire the bravery this would take. Could you imagine trying this on someone?”

“No, Trev would fall in those heels,” Max starts guffawing while Satan grins.

Blaze starts up the staircase with some kind of slow, sleazy walk, talking the whole way. When he gets two steps away from her, he leans in and licks across her chest.

“You- I can’t even think of what to call you,” I shout at the computer.

He eases her onto the steps, and my stomach tries to revolt.

I can’t watch this. I refuse to watch them treat Shade as if he doesn’t exist one more dang time!

I’m reaching to close it out when Shade comes in, keys in hand.

“Oh, Shade,” I whisper.

When he looks up, Felix is staring at him in complete horror. Something draws Shade’s attention to the steps. He stands perfectly still as Blaze says something and leans back from the woman, revealing her nude body.

I watch Shade shut down, glancing back and forth between the two. Felix says something but remains paralyzed in place, hands up as if he can stop what’s happening. Shade says something. Blaze pushes himself up off of the woman to say something back with a smarmy grin.

Shade nods once, turns, and leaves.

As he pulls away from the house, the twins talk for a second. Then Felix joins them on the stairs to help Melissa up and escort her to a different bedroom than the one she messed up.

I can’t watch anymore after they start kissing.

I pause it and sit there, trying to think over the building anger inside.

“They told him it was exclusive. No other people. They lied to him. Oh gosh. I have to tell him. Why? Why lie to him? I don’t get it. Just be honest!”

The door opens behind us. It startles me into silence as I close the window I have open. We all turn to see Sal standing with her mouth dropped open as she takes me in.

“You’re really back,” she takes a step forward and looks at me like I’m a bug under a microscope.

“What did you need, Sal?” Satan asks in his fake friendly voice.

“I was just going to let you both know we’re opening up for the night.” She shifts, glancing between us with narrowed eyes.

“Thanks,” he says and turns back to the computer.

“You want to get ready, Max?” Sal turns to him with a sweet smile. His lip curls in disgust.

“He has the night off, Sal. Remember?” Satan says lightly. She can’t see his face, but I can. He is not happy about her being here.

“Oh, yeah,” she lets out a fake laugh and then stands there.

“Hey, boss man,” Pat interrupts the awkwardness with her perpetual frown. “Tera, what’s up? There’s a guy out front asking for you. Blond hottie covered in tattoos?”

“Really?” I blink in surprise. He actually came here for me? I’m so thankful. I need some support.

She gives me an eye roll, “Yeah, really. Can I send him back, boss man?”

“Go ahead,” Satan grumbles without turning. He looks even more irritated.

Pat disappears, but Sal continues to linger. It’s weird. I turn and fiddle with my laptop. We weren’t friends before. I don’t see that changing.

“Boyfriend, Tera?” She asks as if it’s any of her business.

She brings up a good point. Is Asher my boyfriend? We are way too new to have a boxed-up perfect relationship, but it feels like more than dating. It also feels more than a boyfriend and girlfriend thing. I don’t know how to answer.

There’s also the fact that both Max and Satan have turned to look at me with matching frowns as they wait for my answer.

“I am,” Asher’s calm voice washes over me. I feel my shoulders relax at the sound. Satan’s frown stays, but Max relaxes back with a grin. “I was asked to tell you to get your lazy ass to work.”

Max chokes in surprise and turns away from them to cover his laughter. Asher said it in such a mellow tone it takes a second for me to realize what he said. My first instinct is to tell him not to say that to her. I squish it. She’s always been mean to me, and he can say whatever he wants. I’m not in the mood to defend anyone right now.

She makes a disgruntled huffing sound, and a pair of warm hands settle over my shoulders, trying to massage away my tension.

“It’s bad, angel.”

“I know,” I look down at the hands twisting uselessly in my lap.

“He needs to be away from them,” Satan says gently.

“He is,” Asher says grimly. “Andi took him out to keep him distracted.”

“Good. Wait, where?” I turn my head to try to see him, but he doesn’t let go of my shoulders.

“Some rave place that just opened. She said she’s VIP.”

Yeah. She probably owns it. I swear she owns everything now.

“Crap,” I pull up my phone in a panic and start texting.

Me:No bourbon!!!!!!!!!

Bubbles pop up and go away several times.

Shade:No

Shade:Tequila

“Oh gosh. Poor Andi,” I sigh and send him a thumbs up.

“What’s wrong with bourbon?” Max the nosy text reader asks.

“When someone calls an alcohol fight juice, you take it seriously, Max,” I give him a flat look. “And stop reading my texts.”

He gives me an innocent smile and leans back to prop his legs in my lap again. I look down at the phone and chew my lip.

“He doesn’t need details, angel. He already knows.”

“He does?” I sink in my chair as my shoulders get heavy. Good thing he’s rubbing them.

“Yeah, he vented to me.”

“Of course he did,” I roll my eyes. “Is there anyone that doesn’t spill their secrets to you as soon as you say hello?”

“You,” he says with a chuckle.

“What’s the plan?” Satan asks with a scowl. He’s staring at the computer like he wants to set it on fire with his eyes.

“I know what I want to do,” I mutter darkly. “But I can’t make a decision while I’m this mad.”

“Says who?” Max laughs.

“My friend. She says every time she’s seen someone make a decision while angry, it fails. You just decide on a course and follow through. No emotion necessary.”

“That doesn’t sound right,” Max says warily. “How do you not have emotion?”

I shrug, “I have no idea. But it’s good advice. I need to calm down, or I’ll go overboard.”

“I kinda want to see that,” Max has a sly grin as he says it. Satan doesn’t look amused.

“You had a plan this morning,” Asher reminds me. “Tell me what it was, and we’ll go from there.”

I pull up the notes on my phone with the random plans I came up with for punishments. “I’m planning some of the standard pranks. The chicken bouillon cube in the shower heads, maybe some hair dye. I’ll replace all of their toilet paper with single-ply. I’ve already got the shrimp in the freezer. I can put that in hidden spots, so when it dethaws, it will stink. I also want to clone their phones so I can download apps, change their contact names, and shuffle numbers. I’m going to change Shade’s number so it will go to the rejection hotline instead of him. I’m not sure if it’s feasible yet, but Shade may have already cloned them. He can patch me in. Oh, and shutting their utilities off. That will make the shrimp thaw faster in the heat.”

All three of them stare at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“It doesn’t seem like enough. It’s childish stuff,” I sigh and toss the phone on the desk.

“It’s perfect for you,” Asher says in his set-in-stone voice. “Would you regret doing any of it?”

“No,” I whisper. “I’ve done stuff like this before.”

“If you did anything more, would you regret it?”

I nod sadly. I’m just not that type. South would go in with a wrecking ball or just attack them outright. I’m pathetic.

“Then it’s enough. Get Shade’s revenge for him and leave him in the clear.” Satan nods firmly with a grim expression.

I glance at Satan with trembling lips. “It won’t take his pain away.”

“That’s for him to do,” Asher says firmly. “No son of ours is going to fail at that.”

I giggle with a sniffle and nod.

“Excuse me?” Max says indignantly. “Your son?”

“Besides, you’ll help him through,” Asher continues like he isn’t talking.

I firm my lips and pop my knuckles to get started.

“It’s all so simple and terrifying at the same time. You can do all of that?” Max focuses back on what I’m doing as I pull up site after site.

“Yup. Is it ok if I use your printer? I’ll replace the ink and paper I use,” I reassure Satan as I ask.

“Of course you can, and you’re not buying replacements,” he frowns and tries to give me his demanding ‘do what I say’ look. With Asher behind me it’s a lot easier for me to brush it off. I smirk with pleasure. Satan does not like it.

“Do I need to start counting for you too?” His grin is wide and evil as he taunts me.

Maybe it’s more effective than I thought. My eyes drop, and I swallow hard, face sobering as unease slithers through me. My anxiety did not need the help.

“You can count, but I’m the one who has the final say on punishments,” Asher stares at Satan with an intense look that makes him scowl.

“What are you thinking here?” Max interrupts the tension as he looks at the stills of all the bodyguards in various yelling poses.

“I’m going to print out a whole bunch of these and frame them to hang all over their place. So they can see that they’re jerks every day.”

“You never punished us like this,” he comments quietly.

“I was a little busy,” I look down at my hands with a tense frown. He’s about to ask me hard questions, and I’m not sure if I should answer. The walls that Asher seems to slip through so easily begin to harden in preparation. The Shade mask slides into place as Asher’s hands tighten on my shoulders.

“Where did you go when you left?” Max’s voice is hushed enough that I don’t know if anyone else heard him. Ever since I came back he’s kept his questions locked up. Now that he’s near his boyfriend I guess he feels comfortable enough to ask. That makes one of us.

“I went about three states over to a little town.” I try to keep it short and sweet as my shoulders get more tense.

“What did you do there?” Satan stands to pick up the poorly made photos as they come out.

I shrug, “Work, sleep, work. The same as here. And therapy.”

“Therapy?” He turns to me sharply in surprise. “Why the fuck would you need therapy?”

I lean back at his reaction, part defensive and part bewildered. I thought Max would have told him about this part. I also didn’t think I had done a good job of hiding my melting brain problems. Why is everyone so surprised? Have I been wasting my time learning Shade’s emotionless mask thing? Apparently, I had a good camouflage going on my own. Or he didn’t notice because he didn’t care.

“I had a mental breakdown,” I say slowly because I’m not sure how he’s going to react. “I was… not right for a while. I got help.”

He stares at me like I’ve just crept up and stabbed him in the back. I can’t look him in the eyes to see what his expression is, so I focus on the laptop.

“You didn’t tell me it was that bad,” Max protests shakily.

“I don”t like talking about it. All that matters is I’m working on it and getting better, and I’m going to keep working on it. I don’t ever want to be like that again.” I shudder just thinking about how low I sank before I got help.

“Why didn’t you come back?” The words are muffled behind his hand, but I hear Satan clearly.

The walls harden even more. How dare he ask me that.

“To what? Lies? People who despise me or want to use me? End up in the same emotional place I barely managed to crawl out of?” I swallow hard and try to close the well of bitterness that’s overflowing. These are my thoughts. I don’t have to share. I don’t need to stab people with them. I also don’t want to be like that.

“I wasn’t ready.” I tack on weakly as guilt takes the place of anger. That sounded like more of a save in my head because Satan looks devastated.

It surprises me to see him so choked up. I suddenly feel really bad for being the reason he’s upset. Max is very still beside me. I break Asher’s hold on me to see him while I panic. He’s watching Satan closely with narrowed eyes.

I thought I would love watching Satan get upset. I used to lie awake at night and imagine yelling at him for all of my heartbreak. Trying to picture how he would react. I thought he would be mad or dismissive. I barely let myself think he might cry. He doesn’t seem the type.

Watching his face pale and his hands begin to shake is terrifying. It makes him seem more like a real person instead of the God I built him up to before he became a demon. I really didn’t think he would care about any of it.

“I’m sorry,” I try to backtrack quickly as his eyes close tightly. My panic starts to rise, and my hand slides to my throat to clamp down. “I didn’t mean to upset anyone.”

“Eyes to me, angel,” Asher says calmly. My head jerks around to face him.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong,” dark blue eyes meet mine with determination. “I’m proud of you for getting help when you needed it. We’ll all help you through this if you let us. You don’t have to do it all alone anymore.”

“I feel guilty,” my voice chokes up. My body begins to shake as the anxiety builds unbearably.

“Come here,” Asher reaches out for me.

I practically leap into Asher’s open arms. One closes around me, and the hand of the other softly clasps my throat, replacing mine. It’s more comforting when he does it. The tight feeling in my chest slowly begins to unravel as I pant.

“You did what was best for you, and I’m fucking proud,” he murmurs in my ear. My shoulders slowly sink from the defensive hunch. I relax into his chest, listening to him breathe slowly in and out. “I’m also glad you came back, but that’s entirely for selfish reasons. Now, I’m definitely going with you on all of the pranks involving their house. The rest is in your obviously capable hands.”

I nod in agreement. I know he’s changing the subject to get my mind off of my panic, but the more the anxiety eases the harder the guilt hits over Satan’s reaction. I didn’t even look at Max. I can’t.

I rest my head on his shoulders and whisper, “I don’t think I can call him Satan anymore. If I hugged them, would it be wrong? I just don’t want them to think the worst, you know?”

“Angel,” he lets out a soft laugh and kisses the top of my head affectionately. “You’re too sweet for us all. Hug them if you want. You’re still coming home with me.”

I lean back with a weak smile and give him a quick kiss on the cheek that makes him grin.

I turn to find Max and Trevor by the printer with their foreheads pressed together, talking quietly. Asher pats my hip and jerks his chin towards them. My feet unstick from the floor to gingerly walk over. They don’t notice until I’m right next to them. Max leans back, eyes wet with unshed tears, and holds an arm out to draw me into a hug.

“I don’t want to get,” I helplessly gesture between them and wince. They’re doing a great job of making each other feel better. I’m not needed here. The more I think about it, the more I realize this is a dumb idea. The last time I tried to do any kind of comforting to Trevor it ended badly.

Before I can follow through on the thought of going back to Asher, Trevor’s arm snaps around my waist and jerks me to his chest. Max’s arm closes around us both, and he presses into my back, leaving me squished between them. They’re both too tall. I end up with my face buried in Trevor’s chest. If I tap out, will they let me go so I can breathe?

“I’m sorry.” Those two words surprise me coming from Trevor’s lips. That’s my line. They’re heartfelt, with no room for lies and they ache. My guilty conscience stabs me at the tone. My anxiety recognizes it.

“Well, don’t feel too bad, ok? Dr. Robinson said that my stress started long before Joe died. I just stopped being able to process for a little bit.”

I can’t keep the words inside, even if I don’t really feel them. I wanted him to feel bad. It’s proof that, at some point, he did care. That I wasn’t completely stupid for believing his act. But that isn’t nice, and I’m not comfortable with it. I want to forget all of it happened and pretend we’re all normal again.

“No. You aren’t sweeping this under the rug, babygirl. I fucked up, majorly. More than I even thought. I don’t deserve your comfort, but I’ll fucking take it. Any time you want to give it.” Trevor’s voice is hoarse with strain as he speaks.

The thought of being able to comfort him at any point makes me very uneasy. I’m not sure if it’s his emotions talking. I don’t think I could handle it when he changes his mind again. Instead of saying anything, I hesitantly bring my arms around his waist and stroke his lower back. This is how it was supposed to be between us, all three of us, and it makes me sad that I don’t trust it.

Everything is quiet until I hear the sound of keys tapping behind me. It snaps me out of my awkward barely-there comfort more effectively than anything else could.

“Asher Florent Broussard, if you are watching porn on my laptop, we will have words. Not nice words, either.”

He cracks up laughing, and Max follows with a surprised bark, then Trevor as his arms tighten around me enough to ache. For some reason, the discomfort undoes me until I’ve melted into him while my brain gives a faint protest.

“We should leave Trevor lonely and go monitor what he’s doing over there,” Max says sweetly.

“Two.” Trevor’s head snaps up with a glare. Max starts chuckling evilly. I feel both of them start to harden with me between them and my eyes widen in surprise. He wasn’t kidding about wanting to be punished, and apparently, Trevor has no problem dishing it out.

“Hey, Asher? Do you think mi rey deserves a free ride here? Back me up.” He starts trying to pull me away from Trevor like I’m a toy he doesn’t want to share. The thought makes me frown.

“I think he deserves to crawl across a mile of hot coals filled with rusty nails, personally,” Asher returns calmly.

I gasp in dismay, pulling away from them both as I turn to Asher in shock. My mouth works uselessly until only his name comes out in a disbelieving tone.

He gives me a sympathetic look. “I’m fucked up when it comes to you. I don’t see that changing any time soon.”

It’s like he’s warning me, but my heart does a weird dive in my chest that starts butterflies in my belly. “I’m messed up for you too, but can we keep the physical damage to a minimum? Please?”

“I don’t know if I should celebrate or buy red flags to throw at you two,” Max’s head swivels as he takes us both in.

“Having regrets, babe?” Trevor smirks, earning himself a dark glare that brings an evil smile to his lips.

Asher’s expression falls into a serene mask as he turns back to the computer. He’s shutting down. I can’t stand it.

I’m suddenly standing behind him, leaning down with my arms around his shoulders before I have the thought to move. I kiss him gently behind his ear, getting a soothing hit of mint shampoo.

A shudder works across his shoulders as he leans his head back, resting on me. “You need a keeper, angel. You’re definitely too sweet for us all.”

“I thought that was your job,” I whisper in his ear so no one else can hear.

“It is,” he says grimly, but his lips turn up in a satisfied grin.

“What are you doing?” I tighten my arms around him and press my face into his neck. There are roses on this side.

“Buying all of the things we’ll need to pull this off,” he returns his attention to the computer and clicks something.

I draw away from him in surprise, “Oh, you don’t have to -”

“I’ve got you,” he interrupts me calmly. “It will be ready in a couple of hours.”

My mouth works uselessly as I stare at the screen. Well, that argument ended before it began.

He stands and offers me the chair with a smug smirk I choose to find adorable, against my better judgment.

I spend hours immersed in the computer world while the guys chat with each other. Max and Asher seem to get along just fine. Trevor is another story. He glares at Asher, barely answering anything either of them say. It makes my stomach sink at how obvious he is in his dislike.

When it’s time to go, Max pouts. “I’m never going to get time with you now.”

“I think that’s going to change. Is that ok?”

“Fuck yeah,” he grins and rushes me to give me a hug that lifts my feet off the floor. I giggle as he sways me side to side like a goofball. “I’ll miss you. Come back tomorrow, ok?”

“After work,” I agree easily and kiss his cheek.

“Say bye to Trevor. I’m carrying you out the door. No hugs for him.”

“Oh, bye, Trevor?” I wave in confusion as Max walks out with me dangling from his arms.

Trevor waves back with an easy grin, “When you’re done, you can get back in here for your punishment.”

“He means you, right?” I ask in dismay. Max laughs.

“He better,” Asher says calmly as he picks up a duffel bag from the doorway.

Max doesn’t pause as he hauls me out into the bar, making a spectacle of us both. There aren’t enough customers to make it embarrassing, but when Diana calls out, “Get it, girl!” I can’t stop the blush that takes over my face.

“Oh my gosh,” I bury my face in Max’s shoulder to hide.

Max laughs as he continues without a care. He sets me down by my car and glances back at Asher as he follows.

“Where’s your car?”

“I left it for Shade at Andi’s place,” Asher pauses at my side with a smile.

“That was sweet of you,” I grin at him, but Max has a totally different reaction.

“And the duffel bag?” His arm tenses around my shoulders.

“I’m staying with Tera.”

“You are?” I ask in surprise. I don’t remember inviting him over, not that I mind.

“I am,” he says calmly. His eyes are on Max now, and the smile has gotten smaller.

“How long have you two known each other again?” Max asks with a scowl.

“Does it matter?” Asher replies blandly.

“Yeah, I think it fucking does. Especially if you’re inviting yourself over to her place,” Max leans forward, making his height more apparent.

I’m confused. I thought they were all together on this. Asher was fine with me spending time with Max. Why can’t he have the same respect? I knew this was too good to last, even with my problems with Trevor. This is too unstable to work.

Asher looks up at him and shrugs. “One, what we do together isn’t your business unless Tera says it is. Two, Felix, Blaze, and who knows who else have keys to her apartment. They’ve also been around, unannounced, looking for Shade. I’m not letting her stay there by herself and hiding her at my place defeats the purpose of hiding Shade there.”

“Is that true?” Max turns to me with his dark frown. I nod sheepishly.

“They come over all the time. The noise was nauseating, to say the least.”

“Because he’s the older brother you never wished for,” Max grunts in frustration. “What a fucking mess.”

“Let’s just say my gas bill will go down now,” I pat his chest comfortingly with a wince.

“Fine,” he grudgingly agrees and then points a finger in Asher’s face. “If I find out you’ve done anything you shouldn’t, I will find a way to beat your ass.”

Asher doesn’t even blink as he says, “Good luck with that.”

“We’re leaving now,” I sing song as Max puffs up at Asher’s lack of fear.

“Bye, Max,” Asher gives him a cool smile and goes to the passenger door.

“Promise me you’re coming back tomorrow,” he whispers earnestly.

“I promise.” I smile warmly at him. His shoulders come down a fraction at the expression, his eyes softening as he watches me.

“I’m pissed that he gets to stay with you tonight,” he tells me as if that isn’t blatantly apparent.

“I noticed,” I cup his cheek. “Trevor needs you. You balance him perfectly. Maybe Asher needs me the same way? I’m not really sure, but it feels that way.”

He tilts his head and gives me a serious look. “I think you hit the nail on the head with that one.”

I nod and lean forward to whisper, “Now give me a kiss so I can get home and sleep.”

“I’ll give you a kiss, all right,” he glares at Asher as he bends down and kisses me with no shame.

I’m so grateful that Asher told me this was ok because his tongue strokes mine roughly, and I make a soft sound, kissing him back languidly. Giving as he takes and bracing a hand on his shoulder. His rush slows as he sinks into me, turning the kiss into something that’s indefinably more. It steals my breath and brings a blush to my face. I feel like our souls are merging into one. Two sides of a coin melded together.

“Stay with us instead. Asher can take the spare room. You can take the spare room. I don’t care. Just stay with us,” he mutters, his lips rubbing along mine as he speaks.

“I’m not ready,” I whisper back and meet his eyes with sorrow.

“I know. Shit. I’m rushing. I guess I’m not the only one,” his eyes slide back to my car. I give him a quick peck.

“It’s going to be ok, Max.” I smile and kiss him quickly again, just because I can.

“Yeah, I know,” he agrees with a grumpy look. “Doesn’t mean I like how it looks right now, though.”

I smile smugly and take a few steps back. “Bye, Max.”

“What’s that look on your face mean?” He glowers and crosses his arms.

“Have fun getting punished,” I taunt sweetly.

“I will,” he says mockingly.

“Try not to think about me as it’s happening,” I add and then run to the car to slide into the driver’s seat, my bravery wearing out quickly. I can feel my face burning as I try to hide my smug smile.

“That’s just mean, Tera!” He yells in shock.

I can barely hear him as I start the car. I can’t help the fit of laughter that takes me over as I wave and pull away. I didn’t know I had it in me, but it felt great. His happy grin in the rearview mirror isn’t bad, either.