Chapter 21 #2
"Yeah," she says. "Fair enough." Then she ducks her head over her bowl and starts eating, and I find myself staring at her like an idiot.
I can't help it.
She's so pretty, especially when she smiles, and there's a sweetness to her that makes her feel almost precious. I want to wrap her up in fluffy blankets, feed her grapes and brush her hair, which is insane, because twenty-four hours ago I didn't know she existed.
Is this how other pack-betas feel about omegas?
This protective instinct mixed with an overwhelming desire to make them happy?
"Can I ask something?" Elowen glances at Cliff, then her eyes briefly meet mine.
Everyone turns to her, except Adam. He’s busy pretending to eat.
I need to make sure he takes some pain meds tonight.
“Of course, Elowen,” Cliff says. “You can ask us anything.”
"How does this work?" she asks quietly, like she’s worried she’s going to offend someone.
"The four of you. I mean, I know what a pack is, technically.
But I've never seen one from the inside.
I grew up with beta parents, so. I don't know how everyone—" She stops, then tries again. "I don't know the rules."
"There aren't any rules," I say simply.
"There are absolutely rules," Adam says without looking up.
I roll my eyes upward, trying to find a better word. "They’re more like guidelines."
"They’re rules, Perrin." Adam looks up, fixing me with a glare that could curdle milk.
I roll my eyes then turn back to Elowen. "It’s a strongly suggested framework."
Cliff sets his fork down. "We’re pack-mono," he says like that explains everything.
Elowen tilts her head slightly. "What does that mean?"
“We don’t have committed relationships outside the pack," Adam says, and something flickers across his face as his gaze snaps to Cliff. It’s there for less than a second, before he catches himself and looks back down at his pasta.
"We are fully committed to each other and only each other," Cliff says as he looks right at Elowen. "This pack has been settled for years. Nobody here is looking for something we don't already have. You don't have to worry about being bound to something unstable."
Elowen is quiet for a moment, like she’s not sure what to say to that. “That’s good to know, but…” she frowns before clearing her throat. "What I meant is...are all four of you—" She stops, and licks her lips. "I mean, are you all—" She makes a small, frustrated gesture with her hand.
"Yes," Raff says, saving her from having to finish her sentence. “We all fuck.”
Elowen nods and her eyes drop straight to her bowl. She picks up her fork and puts it down again like she's forgotten what it's for.
"What Raff means," I say, desperate to make things less awkward for the omega, "is that it's not as complicated as it sounds.
It's more like—" I pause. "It's fluid. Between the four of us.
Depending on the night and who needs what and if the alphas are in rut—" I can feel the sentence getting away from me, but I press on anyway.
"But obviously me and Adam don't—" I gesture vaguely between us.
"You know. Since we're brothers. But we're often all in the same—" I stop.
Reconsider exactly where that sentence is going. "Room."
Adam puts his face in his hands.
"That was worse," Raff says.
"I know," I say.
Elowen is smiling. Just barely, the corner of her mouth tucked in, clearly trying to keep it contained, her eyes warm and a little bright.
"Thank you," she says. "For explaining it."
"Anytime," I say, with as much dignity as I can scrape together, which isn't much.
She ducks her head back over her bowl, still smiling, and something in my chest does a slow, embarrassing somersault.
“I think you’ll find that we’re a very loving pack,” Cliff says, angling his head down to catch Elowen’s eye. “We know how to take care of each other.”
She nods, then says, "But now there's me.” Her voice is almost sad, like she's not sure how she fits in here. “I don’t want to complicate anything.”
"You're not a complication," Raff says. Easy. Like there’s zero room for discussion “You belong here as much as anyone else.”
She looks up at the alpha, and the carefully guarded look she's been wearing all evening lifts. Underneath it she looks exhausted and young and like someone who can't quite believe she's being included in something.
I know that feeling.
I remember showing up to this pack as Adam's awkward twin brother, the one who never really fit in anywhere, but for some reason, Cliff and Raff wanted me anyway. I still don’t know what they see in me.
"You know. It's not too late," Elowen says quietly as she sets down her fork. "I can still go—"
"You're not leaving." Cliff's voice is firm, leaving absolutely no room for discussion.
"You're staying," Raff agrees.
She blinks at them both, then she sets her jaw. "Fine," she says. "But I need to say something, and I need everyone to let me finish."
The table goes completely quiet without Cliff even needing to command it
She turns to Adam, then lets out a slow breath, like she's been working up to this since she sat down.
"I'm not taking your place," she says quietly. "And I really mean that.” She looks hard into Adam’s eyes. “Cliff and Raff are your alphas. That's not changing because of me. I'm not here to come between you and what you have with them, and I would never try to."
The tension in Adam's shoulders shifts. He looks at her for a long moment, and I watch him wrestle with something behind his eyes before he gets it under control.
"It's okay," he says. “I know that.”
But it's not. I know my brother.
I've known the brat for twenty-six years and I can hear the slight fracture running through his voice as clearly as if he was screaming out loud.
And just like that, I realize he's not quiet because of a flare.
He's quiet because he's scared of what adding Elle to our pack means.
And it makes me feel like shit.
I should have realized it sooner, but I've been too busy thinking about Elowen’s sweet lips to notice that my brother was barely holding it together.
I'm a terrible beta and a mediocre brother, and I definitely need to talk to him later.
"Elowen." Cliff's voice is quiet, but it lands like a hand on the table. “No one thinks you’re going to take their place.” He glances at Adam, then back to Elowen. “Adding another person to a pack doesn't take anything from anyone. That's not how this works."
"I don’t want anything about your pack dynamic to change," she says.
"And I mean that. This pack stays exactly the way it is.
" She looks at Adam again, firm and direct.
"You keep sleeping in Cliff's room, and I'll stay in the guest room.
That's how it's going to be." She nods once like it’s settled.
I catch the way Cliff's brows draw in, clearly not happy. “No,” he says firmly. “That’s not—”
"It’s not up for discussion,” Elowen snips, glaring right at Cliff with those dark eyes.
The omega looks fierce, maybe even angry, while the look on Cliff's face is just as intense.
Everything goes quiet, and I freeze, not sure what to do.
But then I remember…their bond.
They must be having some kind of secret, mental conversation. Is that how bonds work?
I look at Raff, and he gives me the smallest shrug, clearly not sure what’s happening either.
"Fine." Cliff holds her gaze "You can sleep in the guest room tonight." He picks up his glass of water. "We'll talk about the rest tomorrow."
Elowen nods once, clearly happy it’s settled, then she takes a big bite of her pasta.
I blink, genuinely shocked.
Clifford Durrant. The most immovable man I have ever known in my entire life. Just conceded. To a woman he's known for less than twenty-four hours. Without argument or conditions.
Raff smiles down at his bowl, and Adam sits a little straighter, clearly very happy.
"Does anyone need a refill?" my brother asks, already grabbing the pitcher. “You definitely need to stay hydrated, El.” He reaches across the table and refills Elowen's water without a word.
"Thank you,” she says, her voice bright and sweet.
He looks back at her. Really looks, for maybe the first time since she walked into this house. And whatever he finds there must be enough, because something in his face quietly rearranges itself.
"You're welcome," he says.
It's small. It's so small. But I've known Adam his whole life, and I know what it cost him, and I know what it means.
I reach for more bread and say nothing.
Because I honestly think we might actually be okay.