Chapter 20
Constantine
My chest heaves with excitement, and the anxiety of what I’d just done washes away.
Killing someone like that was… terrifying.
It brought me back to the night I killed Steve and Mom.
I’d been so scared and angry. The two emotions sent me into this wild tailspin.
But when it was over, I felt a strange, peaceful feeling take over. Killing Mario wasn’t like that at all.
Enzo peels down my jeans and underwear over my calves.
Whenever he’s close or touches me, I feel…
almost normal. Or clear. Like I’ve been living in this fog, and Enzo just clears it up for me with his presence.
I feel like I can handle anything life throws at me because of him.
That’s when I remember that what I’ve just done was for him.
He deserves to be happy, too. He shoves my sweater and shirt over my stomach, and his eyes land on my cock as if he’s about to devour his last meal.
He licks his lips, fists my length, and engulfs my entire cock into his mouth all the way to the root.
I throw my head back and arch my spine, crying out as the wet heat sets my body on fire.
He’s stroked me before, but this is the first time he’s gone down on me.
Hell, he’s the first to go down on me, period.
I know right then I’ll never be satisfied with just my hand again.
My body shudders, and I arch my back even more when he curls his tongue around the sensitive head, forcing him to take me deeper.
It’s not enough. Death, blood, torture, and revenge have fully vanished from my world.
I even forgot that we’re doing this next to a dead body.
I’m hyper-focused on Enzo’s amazing mouth.
My entire body flushes for him. Electricity courses up my spine and back down again, and to my fingertips.
It vibrates all around me. My balls are tight and heavy.
I don’t want it to be over already, and I’m tired of coming too fast, but I can’t stop the flood if I try.
But before I can come, Enzo pops off, and I growl in frustration because I was so close.
He chuckles at me as he spits into his hand.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ve got you.”
Then he sucks me down again with his nose pressed into my pubes.
I can feel my cock hitting the back of his throat, and my eyes roll into my head.
But when he swipes my hole with his spit-covered finger, my toes curl and I feel the pressure building again.
I’m clawing at the rug, not knowing what to do with my bloodied hands as I get lost in chasing my climax.
But as soon as he shoves his finger into my hole, I’m done for.
I explode like a bomb. I’m loud like one, too.
My cock pulses as it pumps out spurt after spurt into Enzo’s mouth.
He swallows all of it, thrusting his finger in and out, brushing over my prostate, keeping my orgasm going for as long as it can.
When my body sinks into the floor, he finally lets go of my cock and pulls out his finger, wiping it on the rug.
“God… that was the strongest orgasm I’ve ever had,” I managed to mutter. “I think I’ve lost my bones somewhere.”
Enzo’s laugh fills me with warmth. He lies on top of me, his weight like a heavy, comforting blanket. There are no kisses. He just holds me as my body comes back to life.
“Let me do you now,” I say, running my fingertips along his back.
“No, that was all for you.” He sits up, straddles me, and presses his hand to my throat, not to hurt me, but to control me, to keep me solely focused on him. His eyes turn serious, and his brows are set low. “You belong to me. You’re mine.”
If that’s as close as he’ll ever get to telling me he loves me, I’ll take it. He owns all of me. He owns my heart, body, and soul.
“Yes,” I breathe because I can barely speak, not because he has a hold of my throat, or that he just gave me the most intense orgasm ever, but because I’m overwhelmed with emotion. “Always.”
Enzo climbs off me, stands, and holds out his hand. I take it, and he lifts me to my feet. He bends down and pulls up my pants and underwear. “Let’s get cleaned up. We can’t exactly drive around covered in blood.”
“I brought spare clothes, but I don’t have anything for you.”
“I’ll wear something of Mario’s.”
I grab my backpack, and he takes my hand again to lead me up the stairs and into the main suite. Mario’s house is a lot more modern on the inside compared to the age of the home. It feels awkward and cold.
The bathroom is so much bigger than Enzo’s, made from stone, glass, and chrome. The shower has four showerheads. Who needs that many?
Before I can get naked, Enzo fingers the ends of my sweater and pulls it over my head. Then he removes my T-shirt. I wear all black to hide the blood, but it’s on my face, hands, and dried in my fingernails.
I watch him undress me. He takes such good care of me. I worship the ground he walks on, and if something happens to him or between us, I think I’ll die. He’s the only good thing in my life, and I can’t bear the thought of losing something so precious.
There must be something on my face because his brows furrow and he frowns. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I admit. I can tell Enzo these things because I trust him with everything: my words, my emotions, and my thoughts.
“Why would you think you’d lose me?”
I shrug. It’s hard to explain the sudden fear, but I manage to say, “There’s just been so much bad in my life, and now that I’m happy, it feels so fleeting. Temporary. I feel like something will take you away from me. I can’t stand it.”
“Then we make the most of it. I can’t make promises that something won’t happen to either of us. But you’re stuck with me until whatever time life deems fit to end us.”
I’ll just have to accept that. I wish he could give me promises, but no one lives forever.
“Are you okay?” he asks, checking on me again.
“Yeah, I’m better.”
He smiles down at me, filling me with such happiness, and I can’t help but smile back.
“Good. Let’s wash up.”
As much as I want to taste him too, there’s no more fooling around. He’s the one who bathes me, scrubbing all the blood off me. He even washes my ass, which gets me hard again.
After we’re clean, he gets dressed in a T-shirt and joggers that belonged to Mario and puts his bloody clothes in a trash bag. I put on a fresh T-shirt, hoodie, and jeans from my bag, but I have to re-wear my underwear.
Once we’re dressed, we wipe down the entire bathroom and everywhere we’ve touched, and make sure there are no loose hairs. Downstairs, we do the same, making sure there’s no trace of us. I pull out my mini portable vacuum to get up anything we may have left behind that’s unseen to the naked eye.
Mario is still there, dead, but no longer bleeding. Enzo stares at him for a while before sighing. “I’m grateful that you brought Enrique’s killer to me. Thank you. But I still have to deal with Alfonzo.”
I tense at that. “Why? I understand he gave the order, but he’s more powerful than Mario. If you confront him, he’ll kill you.”
“He needs to know that I know what happened.” Enzo gently pinches my chin. “I’m leaving town after I do, and you’re coming with me. Let’s get out of here. Let’s start fresh lives and really get to know each other when we’re not surrounded by chaos and violence.”
My stomach dips as a thrill courses through me. Not only does Enzo want me, but he wants me to leave town with him. “And we’ll live… together, or…?”
“Yes, Little Bird. We’ll live together. Everything has happened so fast, and this holiday has been fucking chaos, but there are some great things in the middle of it all. I didn’t expect to like you as much as I do.”
“What about your fights?”
“I love the sport, but I can teach it. I want my art to be my career, but even if it’s not… We’ll figure it out.”
I jump on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. “Really?”
He chuckles as he holds me tight, resting his head on mine that’s nestled on his shoulder. “Really.”
We hold each other for a moment longer before we need to get moving.
After double-checking that we’ve cleaned everything up, we leave and head back to Enzo’s house.
He tosses his hoodie and dirty pants into the laundry, then he falls onto his bed and rubs his face.
“I’m still fucking processing that Mario and Alfonzo betrayed Enrique and me.
It’s a knife in my chest, man. I’ve worked with them for years, and this is how they repay my loyalty. ”
I strip out of my clothes except for my underwear, crawl over to him, and sit on my knees. “They were wrong. I don’t care if they’re criminals. They shouldn’t have done that. There had to be another way.”
Enzo forks fingers through my hair. “Yeah, they could’ve, but greed and power always win out. It’s the American way.”
“Every time my stepdad hurt me or gave me those grotesque gifts, it was my mother I was angry with the most. It felt like years of betrayal, like why couldn’t she, just once, protect me? Why did her drugs and drinking matter more than me?”
His eyes soften, and he brushes the backs of his fingers against my cheek. “I don’t know, Little Bird, but I’m so sorry they hurt you. If I’d been around, I would’ve protected you.”
I smile at that because I know he would have. “I believe you.”
I lift his T-shirt and tuck my head under it to kiss his stomach and work my way up to his chest. Then I pop my head out through the V-neck, rest it in the crook between his neck and shoulder, and snuggle in for the night. It’s a tight fit, but his shirts are pretty big.
He snorts a laugh. “Are you going to sleep all night like this?”
“Yep. You’re so warm… Safe.”
I smile again when he presses a kiss to my head.
God, I love being loved. There are times when I question myself.
Question my sanity. My brain. My reality.
But Enzo makes me feel like a regular human.
And in all that time, my anxiety has dramatically declined.
I haven’t noticed the twinkling lights still up or the Christmas music that refuses to die.
It’s like I can suddenly breathe again and focus. This is what love feels like for me.
“Can we have sex now?” I ask.
“Right now?”
“Well, I mean… soon?”
His fingers drag gently along my back, soothing me, making me sleepy. It has been a long day.
“Soon,” he agrees.
I’m twisted in knots from the nerves. I’m a little nauseous, but I’m also freaking horny while I clean myself out in Enzo’s bathroom.
Douching shouldn’t turn me on, but it does. My cock is fully erect as my ass finally runs clean. I’ve done everything I’ve been instructed to do online. And Enzo helped me some, too. I want this day to be perfect.
Once I’m fully clean in the shower, I dry off and walk back to Enzo’s bedroom, cupping myself.
It took all my willpower not to rub one out in the shower, but I worry I’ll just come as soon as he’s inside me.
That would suck, but it would be on par with how my body works.
It would be nice if it could give me at least a minute longer before I come all over the place.
Enzo is lying on his bed, also naked. He’s a god. I swear. His body is pure perfection. He’s absolute perfection.
He sits up, and his smile makes me melt for him, then his ebony eyes turn heated. “Why are you holding your cock, Little Bird?”
“I’m so hard,” I whine.
He sucks in his lips to keep from laughing. “You’re supposed to be hard.”
“I know, but I feel like I shouldn’t be after douching.”
He stands and pulls my hands away, then he looks down at my cock, which is flushed red at the tip because I’ve been turned on for a while now. “No shame in what turns you on.”
My body instantly relaxes. I love that he’s so accepting and doesn’t think I’m weird.
“And I get to be the first to tell you what a pretty cock you have.”
The flush on my face travels to my ears, but I smile proudly. Enzo has an amazing way of making me feel good about myself after I spent most of my life steeped in insecurity.
Enzo fists my length and tugs me against him. “Come here. Ready to get fucked for the first time?”
“Yes. So much.”
“Have you been wearing your cute little plug?”
I wrap my arms around his neck, look up at him, and nod. “I’ve been wearing it everywhere.”
With his free hand, he runs his fingers through my hair and grips a handful of it. “That’s so fucking hot.”
I vibrate with excitement that I’ve turned Enzo on, too.
“What are you going to do? Where do you want me? Do anything to me,” I say. “You can even spank me. I told you—I want it all.”
“Absolutely not. No spanking. That’s hitting. We don’t hit.”
“But—”
“No buts. I won’t cross that line ever again. Got it?”
“Okay. Yeah.”
Part of me is relieved. I want to try everything, and spanking looks fun while watching porn, but Enzo’s right that I’m also really nervous about it.
“Can I suck your thumb again?”
Enzo growls, and his eyes narrow. The sound goes straight to my balls, and I shiver. His thumb grazes over my bottom lip before he eases it into my mouth. “When I first did this, I was just playing with you. But now? Fuck, I like it so much. It’s become our thing.”
I don’t answer him because I’m too busy sucking his finger. My eyes don’t leave his. It’s hard to believe his eyes can get any darker, but they do.
After a minute, he tugs his thumb out of my mouth. “Fuck, the things I want to do to you…”
“Do them.”
Enzo moves away from me and lies down on his bed. “Sit on my face and let me work you open with my tongue.”
I gasp at his request, and my knees buckle at the vision that suddenly hits me. I’m so ready for this. I’m ready to have Enzo in all ways, and for him to have me in all ways.