Chapter 10
SAbrINA
I’d been naive. I’d been stupid. I’d been ridiculous to think that a baby belonged in a rock star’s world. I should have known I wasn’t supposed to be there based on the looks I got from the employees at the arena when I walked in behind Liam.
Their gaze landed on me first, then slid down to Samuel before popping back up to mine. Their eyebrows scrunched together, and some even shook their heads as they passed by.
I tried to take my cues from Liam. He knew this world better than anyone, and if I didn’t belong, I was convinced that he would eventually turn around and tell me so.
But he never did. Instead, he led me and Samuel through the hallways that eventually led to the stage.
He didn’t pause as he walked past the people dressed in black who were plugging cords in or speaking through their headsets.
They weren’t shy about their stares, and if Liam noticed, he didn’t show it.
Instead, he greeted the guys milling around backstage.
I could only assume that they were Liam’s other bandmates based on my cursory research on Fading Atlas last night.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do or where to stand, so I stayed as close to the wall as I could. Samuel was strapped to my chest and facing out. He was entranced by what was going on in front of him, his little head slowly turning from side to side.
I held onto his feet just for something to do as I watched Liam greet the other guys, but their reaction to him was less than cordial.
There was a tension in the air that made me curious.
But again, Liam didn’t seem bothered by that either, so I filed it away under topics I may bring up in the future.
The band didn’t wait long to start rehearsing. Liam grabbed a microphone while the others grabbed their instruments. I did a quick search on my phone and stood off to the side, committing their faces to memory as I studied each band member and then located them on the image that I’d pulled up.
Jet Hopper played the drums. He had jet black hair that he wore shoulder length, and it swished around when he headbanged along to the beat.
Guido Chance played guitar. His head was shaved, exposing a snake tattoo on the left side that coiled around his ear.
Tom Keeny played the keyboard. He looked more like a librarian than a rock star in his flannel shirt that was buttoned all the way to the top and his black-rimmed glasses.
Sawyer Hinton played the bass guitar. He had long blond dreads and a very thin nose.
And then there was Liam.
It was hard not to notice him as he stood in the middle of the stage with the microphone clasped in his hands.
His eyes were closed and his head was tipped back.
His lips were pressed to the windscreen, and the most amazing sound flowed through them.
It was impossible not to stare at him as he sang.
There was an edginess to the words, but the depth in his voice felt like I was sitting in a steaming hot tub on a cold winter’s eve.
There was a warmth that started in my stomach and spread throughout my entire body.
Besides Drifter, there wasn’t another singer that made me feel this way. It was strange seeing this side of Liam. He was a completely different person from the one that showed up to book club and flirted with half the retired community of Harmony.
This man was…sexy—as strange as it was to think that.
Samuel started babbling and kicking his feet.
He, thankfully, pulled me from my thoughts before they ran wild.
I bounced him a few times, shushing him as I forced my mind to focus on why I was here.
It wasn’t to gawk and drool over Liam. It was to better my life so I could be the kind of mother that Samuel deserved.
It was my job to make sure I kept my head on straight and my goals at the forefront of my mind.
Five songs in, Samuel started to fuss. I bounced him.
I played with his feet. I played with his hands.
I did everything I could to distract him.
At first, it seemed to help, but eventually, he was done.
I wasn’t sure if it was the volume of the music or the fact that he was hungry and tired, but all of my efforts were in vain.
Samuel was over it. And he was letting me know.
My entire body pricked with heat as I hurried to pull him out of the baby carrier. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, so I cast them apologetic smiles in a pathetic attempt to make up for the fact that my baby was now screaming so loud his entire face was beet red.
“I’m so sorry,” I mouthed. I pinned Samuel to my hip and crouched down. With my free hand, I started to rifle around in my diaper bag, searching for the water bottle and formula dispenser that I’d made sure to pack.
Samuel was still screaming. I wasn’t sure if he was just done or if I was scrunching him in an uncomfortable way as I held him against me so that I could use both of my hands to locate the bottle.
Sweat was running down my back as panic set in.
I was trying to not care what was going on around me, but I couldn’t help but notice that the band had stopped playing and the stage was eerily quiet.
“Let me,” Liam’s deep voice sounded from above me.
“I’ve got it.” I snapped back.
It wasn’t intentional. I just really needed him to walk away. I could already feel everyone’s judgement. The last thing I wanted was to become the focal point of gossip. I could only imagine what they were going to say about me.
“Sabrina.” Liam crouched down in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I could see his hand as he reached out and rested it on my arm. There was a calm to his voice that I wanted to lean on.
I glanced up to see that he was about six inches away. His expression was earnest as he held my gaze. His eyes were wide, and his head was tipped forward slightly like he wanted permission. He wasn’t disappointed or angry that my baby had interrupted the rehearsal—he genuinely wanted to help.
Samuel was so upset now that he was barely making a sound. I could feel the stress in his tiny little body as it coiled up against me. Suddenly, I realized that in my effort to do everything by myself, I was failing at the one thing I wanted to do—be a good mother.
Tears began to flow down my cheeks as exhaustion and overwhelm took over. All I could do was nod and hand Samuel off to Liam, who wrapped his hands around my son’s stomach and pulled him close. Samuel’s head looked tiny in Liam’s large hand as he held Samuel to his chest.
“Take five, guys,” he said over his shoulder as he cradled Samuel in one arm and dipped down to grab the diaper bag strap with his free hand.
I stood with an unfolded onesie in one hand and a rattle in another. My brain was going a mile a minute, and yet my body was completely frozen.
The band murmured a collective, “Okay,” and I wanted to catch each of their gazes to individually apologize, but they never looked my way.
“Come on, Sabrina.” Liam’s voice was smooth and gentle. I turned to see that he was watching me. “Follow me,” he said, nodding in the direction he wanted me to go.
I didn’t fight him. I had no more strength. So much adrenaline had been coursing through me from embarrassment. And now that Samuel was quiet and Liam had stepped in, I was left feeling weak. My legs felt like gelatin, and I was doing my best to stop the tears that were free flowing down my cheeks.
I kept my gaze forward as I followed behind Liam. He led me from the stage to the hallways and then through the door with his name slid into the plastic sheath affixed to the side of the doorframe. I stood in the middle of what I could only assume was his dressing room while he shut the door.
“Sit,” he commanded as he nodded toward the tan leather couch along the far wall. I complied, grateful that, in this moment, I didn’t have to think. Liam had it covered.
After I was seated, Liam came over and set my diaper bag down on the cushion next to me. “Bottle,” he commanded again.
Without the pressure of Samuel’s screams and everyone’s stares, I was able to locate Samuel’s bottle, the water, and the formula in record time. As soon as the formula was shaken up, Liam set Samuel down in my lap, and my son greedily took the bottle.
Silence pricked the air around us. The only sound came from Samuel’s little slurps and sighs as he guzzled the milk down. In a matter of seconds, his eyelids were slits, and a ring of milk began to form where his lips and cheeks met the nipple.
I kept my focus on Samuel, ashamed of how terribly I handled that entire situation.
I didn’t want to look up and see how disappointed Liam was in me.
Sure, he didn’t mind Samuel, and he’d specifically asked me to be his assistant.
But I doubted he’d realized what he had gotten himself into.
He was just waiting for me to compose myself before he would tell me that he’d made a mistake and send me back to Harmony.
Something moved in front of me. Liam was slowly kneeling down in front of the couch. I could see that he was studying me, and I wanted to meet his gaze, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“Sabrina?” he whispered. His voice sent shivers across my skin.
Suddenly, his fingertips were on my skin as he gently lifted my chin so I had to look at him. I kept my gaze averted until it was no longer feasible. As soon as I saw the concern in his gaze, my tears began to flow again.
“Why are you crying?” He reached up, and with the tips of his fingers, he began to gently wipe my cheeks.
I wanted to speak. I wanted to tell him why I was upset, but I also didn’t want to give him any ideas, just in case he wasn’t thinking about firing me.