Chapter 10 #2
“I’m so sorry,” I finally managed out. “I should have…I should have…” All of the shame and embarrassment rose back up in my throat, choking the words I was trying to speak.
I wasn’t going to be able to get anything out without having a true breakdown, so I just pinched my lips shut and shook my head.
Liam didn’t say anything as he continued to gently wipe my tears away.
Once my cheeks were dry, he pulled back and met my gaze.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said.
His voice was low but forceful. Like he wanted me to know that he was serious, but he was also aware that Samuel was nearly asleep.
“Yes, I do.” I took in a few deep breaths in an effort to calm myself down.
I’d already cried twice in front of this man.
No need to do it again. “This was so unprofessional. I should have had it handled. You stopped your rehearsal because of me. I…” Tears formed once more, and I knew if I kept talking, they would fall again.
Liam’s expression didn’t shift. His eyebrows remained drawn together, his eyes slightly narrow, as I spoke.
I was certain that eventually I would see agreement in his gaze even if he was ultimately sympathetic.
But that never came. Instead, he continued to stare at me as if I had two heads. “Screw rehearsals.”
I parted my lips.
“Screw the band.”
My eyebrows were now drawn together, like what he was saying was truly insane—because it was.
“Screw anyone who puts their desires before a baby.” He shook his head. “Little man needed to eat. That’s part of the human condition. If people can’t see that, screw them.”
“But—”
Liam raised his hand. “I don’t want to hear your apologies.
If the band is ticked off. If Bonnie is ticked off, I’ll handle it.
” His goofy, cocky, flirty grin was back, and for the first time, it created a warm storm inside of my stomach.
These weren’t just words. He meant what he was saying. “You’re mine.”
He paused like he wanted me to feel his words…
and I did. Oh, if that man only knew what those words did to me.
I’m sure he didn’t mean them in the way my stomach, heart, and head wanted him to.
It had been so long since a man had claimed me as his.
Since a man had declared that he was going to protect me.
I liked it. I needed it. And I was scared that, from this moment on, I was going to crave it.
“You’re my assistant, and I’m the leader of this band.
If I say we take a break so my assistant can feed her kid, then everyone else can jump in a lake.
” Suddenly, his hand was on mine, and he squeezed my fingers.
My gaze lifted to meet his. “So, don’t worry.
If they say anything, you send them to me. ”
My stomach felt like it was doing gymnastics. I was on the rollercoaster that was Liam Carmichael. He was everything I wanted in a man, yet he was the one guy I couldn’t have. I was a nobody from Harmony Island, North Carolina. I had baggage and trauma a mile long. I had a baby.
I wasn’t meant for his world, and I was certain he would be miserable in mine.
So even though I allowed myself to imagine for a moment what it would feel like for him to claim me as something more than his assistant, I slammed that Pandora’s box closed and locked it.
Those kinds of thoughts only did one thing: got me into trouble.
And I’d promised Samuel I would stay out of trouble when we boarded Liam’s plane.
Falling for my boss seemed like the fastest way to break that promise.
I forced a smile and nodded. “Thanks. But this was a one-time thing. It won’t happen again.”
Liam held my gaze before he narrowed his eyes. “It’s not a big deal if it does happen again.”
I jutted out my chin, needing him to believe me. I was going to get this right. “But it won’t.”
“But if it does—”
“It won’t.” I steeled my gaze, daring him to speak again.
He paused, silence falling around us like we were in a good old-fashioned stare down. Then, slowly, his lips tipped up into his familiar half smile. “Okay,” he drawled.
I pursed my lips and gave him a little nod as if to tell him, “that’s right.” He chuckled and moved to stand. It was strange what his absence did to me. Even though he was still in the room, he was no longer right next to me. His hand was no longer holding mine.
For some asinine reason, I missed him. I wanted him close.
I cleared my throat and shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind. Entertaining that desire would lead to mistakes. And mistakes were why I was in this situation. I was done with making mistakes. I needed to create a stable world for Samuel.
Liam’s gaze drifted over to my son before he glanced back at me. “Why don’t you hang out here with little man. He’s passed out, which is probably a good thing. I’ll head back out there and finish up.”
I shifted my weight to stand. “Okay, I’ll—”
“Sabrina.” Liam’s voice was low and commanding. “Stay here.” I parted my lips to protest, but he hurried to add, “That’s an order.”
I pursed my lips and glared at him. I was his assistant. He was paying me to be there for him. Samuel was asleep, and he was a sound sleeper. I could stand far enough away from the stage so he’d stay asleep but close enough to be of assistance if Liam needed me.
Liam had his hand out and his eyebrows raised as if waiting for confirmation. So I sighed and collapsed back against the couch.
“Fine,” I grumbled, making sure that he understood from my tone and the look on my face that I was not happy with what he was asking me to do.
Liam’s expression was smug. “Good.” He glanced around. “I’ll come back for you when we’re done.” He started making his way to the door.
I parted my lips to protest once again.
“It’s an order!” he called over his shoulder while pointing his finger toward the ceiling.
I glared at him, but that didn’t stop him or cause him to change his mind. Instead, he closed the door behind him and left me alone in his dressing room.
For the next five minutes, I stared hard at the door in front of me.
I wanted to get up and march out there. I wanted to prove to him that I could be both a mom and his assistant.
I wanted to go out there and prove to everyone in that auditorium that I could do it all. That Sabrina Orion didn’t need help.
But I was also obedient, and I knew Liam wanted me here. Plus, Samuel was completely passed out. The last thing I ever wanted to do was wake a sleeping baby.
My body began to relax into the plush couch, and my eyes slowly drifted closed. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been out when I was startled awake by knocking on the door. I glanced around, trying to get my bearings before I called out a weak, “Come in.”
I waited as the handle turned and the door slowly opened. A girl I’d never seen before with jet black hair and rainbow-rimmed glasses appeared. She was carrying a set of headphones. “Sabrina?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yep,” I said as I cleared my throat and scooted myself up so I was sitting. Samuel squeaked and wiggled but didn’t wake. “That’s me,” I said, turning my attention back to her.
She looked relieved. “Great.” She pushed further into the room with her hand extended, holding out the headphones. “Liam wanted”—her gaze dropped to Samuel, and her voice instantly dropped in volume as her cheeks turned pink—“me to give these to you.” She was whispering now. “I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head as I reached out and took the headphones from her. “It’s okay,” I said before I frowned. “These are for?”
She nodded toward Samuel. “The baby, I’m guessing. They’re noise canceling.”
“Ah.” I felt stupid for having to ask. I glanced at Samuel and then to the headphones. “He had you get these?” I was trying not to feel offended. Picking things up for Liam—even if it was inevitably for me—was my job. It was a hit to my pride that he was asking someone else to run his errands.
“I’m in the sound booth. We have lots.”
Well, that was better. It made me feel a little less useless. I set them down on the cushion next to me. “Thanks.”
She gave me a soft smile and a quick nod before she slipped out of the room.
I was fully awake now, and my mind was reeling.
I knew I shouldn’t let it bother me. I knew that Liam was just trying to help.
But it made me feel not only useless, but like I was a hinderance for him.
I interrupted his rehearsals. I caused him to ask other people for help.
I was supposed to make his life easier, not harder.
I grabbed my phone and swiped it on. I was going to spend the rest of Samuel’s nap researching Liam. I was going to be the best darn assistant there was.
I no longer just wanted to…I had to.