Chapter 13 Sabrina
SAbrINA
I was never going to get used to this. I would never get used to a lot of things when it came to Liam. It was hard enough to keep my head straight when we were alone in a hotel room together, but out in public—I was out of my depth.
The stares and whispers that erupted everywhere Liam went baffled me. I knew in theory that a lot of celebrities went through this. After all, tabloids made a killing off stalking them in their most intimate moments. But knowing and experiencing were two very different things.
I kept glancing over at Liam to see if he noticed the attention he was getting while we waited for the ma?tre d’ to seat us, but he didn’t seem phased at all. Instead, his gaze remained forward with his arm hooked around Samuel’s car seat handle—he insisted on carrying Samuel into the restaurant.
I could only guess the assumptions that were being made right now. Liam with a strange woman and a strange baby. Their thoughts were as plain as the noses on their faces as they shifted their gaze from Liam, to Samuel, to me, and then back to Liam before they turned to whisper to each other.
Maybe this had been a mistake.
We were seated at a table in the back in record time.
The owner apologized profusely to Liam about the wait time.
Liam just brushed him off, telling him not to worry, he understood.
The owner seemed grateful for Liam’s grace, but internally he was raging.
I feared for the ma?tre d’ who was going to get an earful later.
We propped Samuel’s car seat up on one of the chairs, and then Liam hurried over and pulled out my chair before I could stop him. I gave him a look, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He just smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.
“I’m your—”
“Assistant, I know,” he said as he waved his hand toward the seat. “But you’re on your lunch break right now, so technically, you’re just Sabrina, and I am just Liam.”
I met his gaze and then instantly regretted it.
I’d thought that he was just flirting like always, but what I saw in his eyes was anything but flirty.
He looked…genuine. Like he was enjoying that, in this moment, we weren’t boss and assistant.
That we were just a guy and a girl. No strings attached.
I turned away from him and sat, not wanting to dive deeper into his meaning or what those words were doing to my insides.
I stared at the white china plate in front of me and commanded my head to get straight.
I was not going to help myself by romanticizing every interaction that took place between Liam and me.
He was probably just being nice. And since I was so used to flirty Liam, when he was just Liam, I stupidly assumed that meant he was falling-for-Sabrina Liam.
I was officially losing my mind.
Luckily, Liam could not read minds. And once he was situated across the table from me, he leaned back against his seat and relaxed.
I was grateful that he seemed so at ease.
I was a wreck inside, but I seemed to be succeeding at hiding it.
As long as I was doing that, I might actually survive long enough to convince myself that Liam and I could never be more than what we were.
Acceptance was my goal.
After the waiter dropped off some ice water, Samuel began to fuss.
Grateful for the distraction, I moved to unbuckle him from his car seat, but Liam beat me to it.
He was already up and had his fingers on the chest buckle.
I started to protest, but I knew it would be in vain, so I settled back into my seat.
It was frustrating to watch this man with my son.
He looked so at ease, releasing the buckles and picking Samuel up.
Samuel in turn cooed and babbled as Liam lifted him over his head and grinned up at him.
It was hard not to fall for Liam was he was this kind to Samuel.
It was hard not to want Liam to be part of our little, broken family.
It was hard not to wish that circumstances were different and Liam was just a guy who’d walked into Honey Bee Library on a random Monday.
Liam successfully distracted Samuel for exactly two minutes.
Then the reason for Samuel’s original unrest became clear as his squawks became louder and his face got redder.
I reached over to the diaper bag and whipped him up a bottle.
Once I handed it over to Liam, the couple seated a few tables away caught my attention.
The woman had her phone out, and the man wasn’t hiding the fact that he was staring at us.
My cheeks heated as I glanced over at Liam, who was watching Samuel guzzle down his bottle. I frowned as I glanced back at the couple. They knew I was staring at them, but they didn’t seem to care.
“Liam,” I whispered as I leaned forward. He didn’t hear me, so I tried again, louder this time. “Liam.”
That did the trick. He glanced up at me. I shifted my eyes in the direction of the couple. He frowned. “What?” he asked as he leaned forward. His voice was hushed to match mine.
I gave him an earnest look as I tipped my head toward the couple once more. He held my gaze, and I saw in real time as recognition passed through his eyes. He glanced toward the table and sighed before he shrugged.
“Yep,” he said as he returned to grinning at Samuel.
I frowned. I knew that he was used to this, but he was so apathetic that it confused me. “It’s rude,” I said as I glanced back at the couple and glared at them. They had to know that.
He shrugged. “It’s normal. I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t really notice anymore.” He looked over at me. “You’ll get there, too.”
My heart skipped a beat. You’ll get there, too. I loved that he saw me in his future. That I would be around long enough to get used to being seen with him. I knew my soul shouldn’t soar at that statement—it didn’t mean what I wanted it to mean—but I couldn’t help it.
I wanted to be in Liam’s future.
The waiter brought out our appetizers, which I couldn’t even pronounce. And my worry about the couple filming us quickly became overshadowed by how delicious the food was.
After our entrées were delivered, I caught Liam smiling at me while he burped a sleepy Samuel. I glanced down and realized that I’d been shoveling the food in my mouth in a half-dazed state. I was hungry, and the food felt like I was eating a dream. I could only imagine what I had looked like.
“Sorry,” I murmured as I set my fork down and grabbed a nearby napkin. I then nodded to Samuel. “Do you need me to take him?”
Liam tightened his grip on Samuel and turned him away from me. “Nope.” He nodded toward my plate. “Eat.”
I studied him for a moment before I picked up my fork and knife. There was so much that the world thought they knew about this man, but I was beginning to realize it wasn’t true.
The number of headlines that talked about Liam Carmichael, the playboy, made my head spin because it contrasted sharply against the Liam Carmichael sitting in front of me. The one who was holding my baby like he was his own. The one that seemed determined to put Samuel’s needs before his own.
Liam Carmichael, the family man.
I wanted to know more about that person.
“Tell me about your daughter,” I said as I scooped up some of the fluffiest mashed potatoes I’d ever had and slipped them into my mouth.
For the first time, Liam’s smile faded. It was startling because I was so used to his flirty, c’est la vie attitude, and this was the first time I saw his vulnerable side.
I instantly regretted bringing up his daughter.
I didn’t want to hurt him. It was apparent from his reaction that talking about her hurt.
“I mean, we don’t have to talk about her,” I hurried to add as I turned my attention back to my plate. My stomach squeezed as regret filled my body.
“It’s been over two years since I’ve seen her.” His voice was soft.
I lifted my gaze up to meet his.
“Not by choice. I want to see her.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. The desperation in his gaze told me that he wanted me to believe him. That he needed me to believe him.
“But Katie…” He blew out his breath. “I don’t want to talk bad about my daughter’s mom, but she…
” He paused like he was choosing his words carefully.
“Katie has allowed other forces to dictate her feelings about me seeing our daughter. She’s come to the conclusion that it does more damage than good. ”
I frowned. From what little I’d seen of Liam with Samuel, I couldn’t imagine a mother coming to the conclusion that Liam would be bad for their child. Maybe there was something that he wasn’t sharing with me. I mean, I’d just met the man. Maybe he was really good at hiding who he truly was.
“You’re staring.”
I blinked, forcing my mind to the present. Liam was watching me with his eyebrows raised.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I reached for my glass of ice water and took a sip.
Embarrassment coursed through me as I studied Liam from over the rim. He hadn’t pulled his gaze from me. It was as if he were trying to figure out if he’d said the wrong thing. I dropped my gaze to Samuel, who was fast asleep, tucked into the crook of Liam’s arm.
“Listen, I’m not going to lie and tell you that I didn’t have issues.” He sighed and shifted his body. “I was young. I was dumb. I didn’t think, I just acted.” He’d dropped his gaze to the table and slowly brought it back up to study me. “I’m not that guy anymore.”
All I could do was stare at him. There was something in the tone of his voice, the depth of his gaze, that told me he was telling the truth. We all made mistakes. We were all young once. One of the great things about getting older was benefitting from hindsight.
His ex was struggling to see what was so plainly written on Liam’s face—he was different. He was better. And I was one lucky girl to get to see that firsthand.
“I know,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.