Chapter 25 Liam #2
But he couldn’t talk to me about Sabrina. Couldn’t tell me that I made a mistake letting her go. I regretted walking out of that hotel room every second since I left. I wanted nothing more than to board the plane, fly to Harmony, and beg on my knees for that woman to take me back.
But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let her back into my life. I couldn’t let her believe that we could be anything. When I was around her, she wasn’t safe. She deserved a man who would love her and protect her. I couldn’t do that.
“Where are you going with this?” I asked. I didn’t hide the you better watch yourself tone to my voice.
Sawyer lifted his hands in surrender. “Listen, I’m just trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, here. You obviously love the woman. Why did you let her go?”
I glared at him. He was an idiot if he thought that I was in this situation because I’d wanted any of this.
“Case in point,” he said as he stuck out his hand and waved it in front of my body.
I flopped back against the couch. I rubbed my eyes before I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“What do you want from me?” I dropped my hand and returned my gaze to him.
“Just leave me alone,” I begged. I didn’t want to talk about Sabrina because talking about her got me thinking.
And thinking begged for action. And action went against everything I’d sworn I wouldn’t do.
“See, you’re saying that, but I don’t think that’s what you want.” He shook his head. “You’ve tried to push everyone away from you ever since your mom died. Ever since things ended with you and Katie. You claim you want to be alone, but I think you’re lying.”
I swallowed. A lump of emotions had cemented itself in my throat. I glared at him for a moment before I dropped my focus to the floor. I hated that he could see right through me. Well, it wasn’t like I was trying hard to hide my feelings. Everyone in this arena knew something was up with me.
I contemplated fighting him. I thought about throwing him out of my dressing room.
I wanted to tell him to leave me alone and never come back.
But all of that felt more exhausting than just telling him the truth.
To own up to what was going on in my life.
To speak my feelings into the ether. Maybe then I’d finally feel better.
So I told him about Katie. I told him about Frankie and the threats he’d made to Ana, Sabrina, and Samuel.
I told him about the money I needed to come up with and how I couldn’t because of Katie’s spending and my frozen assets.
I watched as his expression steeled. His jaw clenched as he sat back against his seat.
By the time I was finished, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t necessarily feel better, I just felt…free. Sure, there was nothing he could or should do to help me, but letting me tell him helped a lot.
I closed my lips and studied him, waiting for his response. Honestly, he could get up and walk out without saying a single word, and I would have been okay with that. I’d probably told him too much, but it didn’t matter. The story had been told. The words were finally out there.
He sighed and rubbed his thighs with his hands before he set his elbows on the armrests and threaded his fingers together, steepling his index fingers. He tapped his lips a few times before narrowing his gaze.
“Your mom left you some money.”
My entire body froze as I stared at him. Of all the things I thought he would say after that story, those words were not what I’d expected. I frowned and cocked my head to the side, wondering if I heard him right.
Sawyer sighed and shifted until he was sitting up straighter. “You were in the throes of Katie-pocolypse and your mom was worried that if she left you the money directly, Katie would get her hands on it.” He nodded toward me. “Sounds like her fears weren’t completely unfounded.”
I blinked a few times, trying to clear the confusion. “Um…what?”
“She made me promise not to tell you. She gave me the money and asked me to give it to you when Katie was far, far away.” He shrugged.
“Sounds like now is as good of a time as ever to tell you about it. I know if she were around, she would want to help you out.” His voice held a certain reverence to it.
It matched my own when it came to my mom’s memory.
“How…how much is it?”
I couldn’t take it, and there was no way in hell I was going to spend her hard-earned money on paying off Frankie.
I was just trying to figure out how she could have saved anything.
That woman had lived paycheck to paycheck.
It frustrated me that she hadn’t spent that money on herself. Instead, she’d saved it for me.
That was not how our relationship was supposed to go. I took care of her. I gave her money. I helped her out of sticky situations. I had been her protector, and yet, sitting here, I felt like I’d failed.
“Twenty thousand.”
I almost swallowed my tongue. “Where did she get that kind of money?” I breathed out.
Sawyer chuckled. “I asked her the same thing. She just told me to hush and not to ask questions.” He shrugged. “Your mom was a stubborn woman.”
I smiled as her memory rushed back to me.
There was nothing else in this world that I wanted more than to make her happy.
I wanted her to smile down from heaven, proud of the son she raised.
In my current state, I’d failed her. There was nothing about my life or my career that would make any mother happy.
“Keep the money,” I said as I leaned my head against the wall behind the couch. “Even if it was enough, I could never take it. I’m in this mess because of Katie. I won’t let her sour the sacrifice my mom made for me.”
Sawyer was quiet for a moment. “Can I help?”
I tipped my head up and met his gaze. “You want to?”
He shrugged. “We were friends once. I’ve got money. My assets aren’t frozen.”
I gave him a weak smile and shook my head. “Naw, man. It’ll make our relationship strained.”
There was a lull before we both started laughing.
“You mean, more than it already is?” he asked.
I shrugged as my laugh died down to a chuckle. “Something like that.”
Sawyer smiled. A sense of nostalgia rose up inside of me. I missed my friend. I felt guilty for the way I’d treated him ever since Katie came into the picture. I should have been better. I should have been stronger.
“It’s in the past,” he said, as if reading my mind. “I’m moving forward and you should too.” Then he sighed and looked around. “Well, if you won’t take my money, how about we go about this a different way?”
My ears perked up. I squinted as I studied him. “What do you have in mind?”