CHAPTER 29
Singapore
Annabel was feeling a swirling mix of nerves and excitement by the time they reached James’s apartment.
He had been the perfect gentleman in the taxi, calm and composed as always.
But the way he had looked at her earlier and held her hand throughout the journey had left her in no doubt of his intentions.
She couldn’t help her mind drifting back to her last visit, and the thought of his kisses sent her pulse racing again.
It had been a fun evening and, after drinking more than she usually did, she was enjoying the relaxed, carefree sensation that was flowing through her.
It was her last night in Singapore; tomorrow she was going back to the real world.
So for now, she intended to banish all thoughts of exes and complications and live for the moment.
They got back to James’s apartment and Annabel settled herself on the sofa while he switched on the lamps and put on some soft music. Then he went through to the kitchen and reappeared moments later with two glasses. He handed one to her then sat next to her on the sofa.
‘Cheers!’ she said, raising her glass to clink against his. She swirled the smooth, coffee-coloured liquid around the glass, then breathed in its sweet, creamy aroma. ‘Mmm, Baileys, my favourite.’ She took a sip.
James nodded. ‘Yes, I had a vague memory from years ago that you liked it.’
‘It’s been a lovely evening,’ she began. ‘And a lovely week. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done to help me, James, I really am. You’ve been so kind and generous with your time, not to mention incredibly helpful.’
He shook his head, deflecting the compliment. ‘It’s been my pleasure, Annie, you don’t need to thank me.’
‘Well it’s been a pleasure for me, too, James. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. I’ve enjoyed getting to know the real James. It’s made me realise how much I missed out on all those years ago at uni.’
She reached out and put her hand on his knee but he didn’t respond. Instantly, she withdrew it, sensing that something was wrong.
‘Is everything alright?’
‘I’m sorry.’ He sighed. ‘I’ve spent the last week longing for this, but now that we’re here it all feels a little . . . ’
Annabel tensed as she waited for him to finish.
‘Overwhelming, I suppose,’ he eventually said.
‘Oh,’ she said softly. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
James put his glass on the coffee table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
‘I’ve been married for the last ten years.
But it’s over. Emily told me today that she wants a divorce.
And I don’t know how to feel about that.
I always believed that marriage was forever, that we would stick at it and make it work.
Till death do us part, in sickness and in health, for better or worse.
Apparently Emily’s new man has moved to England to be with her and she wants to marry him. ’
Annabel let out a long sigh. ‘That’s a lot to process. I’m so sorry, James.’ She reached across and rubbed his arm.
‘And I can’t help but feel like a failure,’ he continued. ‘Because I couldn’t make my marriage work. Apparently, the affair has been going on for years and I was the last to know. What kind of idiot doesn’t even notice?’
She moved closer to him and put her arm around his shoulders.
‘It takes two to make a relationship work, James, you can’t make it happen on your own. Trust me, I know all about that. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m right here and I don’t see anything idiotic about you whatsoever. I think you’re amazing.’
‘I don’t know about that . . . ’ he began.
‘What I do know is that I hate how she’s made me feel, so stupid and worthless.
’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘Here we are, you and me, on the brink of something that could be truly wonderful, something I longed for for years, but I’m suddenly feeling completely useless, like I’m damaged goods. ’
Annabel wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her.
‘We’re not eighteen anymore, James, we all have baggage.
We’ve all been through the mill, made mistakes, had our hearts broken.
We’ve just got to make the best of it and try to find happiness where we can.
It’s a cliché, but time will help things start to feel less painful.
You’ve had a hell of a knock, but you’ll pick yourself up again and things will get better.
I promise. And please never forget, you do deserve to be happy. ’
‘Thanks.’ He rubbed his hands over his face. ‘Ugh, I’m sorry.’ He sighed and turned to look at her. ‘I think all the alcohol has made me a little maudlin.’
‘There’s no need to apologise, I’m here.’ she smiled and reached out to stroke his hand.
He stared intently at her, as if committing every feature to memory. ‘God, you’re beautiful, Annie.’ Then he took her face in his hands and gently kissed her.
Annabel felt her insides melt at his touch, a deep heat flowing through her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. His kiss was passionate and full of longing.
After a minute, he pulled back, doubt clouding his face. ‘Annie, are you sure—’
But she stopped him. ‘Shh, James, please stop worrying. This is where I want to be, right here, right now, with you. OK?’
His face eased into a smile and she leaned forward to kiss him again. His lips were soft and tender, and his kisses tasted of whisky and cream. She breathed in the scent of him, an intoxicating combination of male musk, alcohol and cologne.
Annabel stood up from the sofa and, with a flirty smile, reached down for his hand. ‘Come on,’ she whispered.
Without a moment’s hesitation, James took her hand and went with her. Then he led the way to his bedroom. He flicked on the bedside lamp, set his phone to play through the speakers and quickly tidied away the clothes that were on the bed.
Annabel sat on the end of the bed and looked around.
The room continued the bachelor pad theme of the apartment, with minimalist furniture and simple decor in muted tones.
On the chest of drawers was a collection of photographs; James holding a baby Jessica, James with an older couple who she took to be his parents and a more recent photo of James with his daughter.
The smiles in the pictures spoke of simpler times, when he had been happy.
James came and stood in front of her, the soft lamplight making his eyes shine.
He cupped her face in one hand, then gently traced a finger down her cheek and neck.
His touch was electric and Annabel could feel her heart pounding in anticipation.
He continued to trace a path down to her collarbone then followed around the neckline of her dress.
He smiled down at her, his gaze soft and warm.
The music changed to a romantic love song. ‘This is one of my favourites,’ she whispered.
‘Well in that case, we’d better make the most of it.’ He grinned, adopting a more formal stance. ‘May I have the pleasure?’ He held out a hand, inviting her to dance and she laughed.
‘You’re full of surprises!’ She stood up from the end of the bed and let herself be swept up in his arms. He held her close and they swayed to the music.
Annabel relaxed into him, resting her head against his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his waist. He was humming along with the song and she enjoyed this more carefree side of him.
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, taking in the freshly laundered scent of his shirt.
It was a wonder to her how she could feel simultaneously so relaxed and so electrified in this man’s presence.
The song came to an end. He bent down and kissed her softly on the lips, then led her over to the bed. They sat side by side, their fingers intertwined, hearts racing. The air was filled with a heady mix of anticipation and excitement.
Annabel looked at James in the lamplight.
A five o’clock shadow was starting to spread across his jaw.
She reached out and ran a finger across the stubble.
She noticed a small scar on his chin and a mole on his neck that she’d never seen before.
She was taking it all in. His handsome face, normally so composed and confident, gave a flicker of hesitation.
To reassure him, she leaned over and kissed him full on the lips, then lay back on the duvet, pulling him down beside her.
Leaning on an elbow, James looked down at her and smiled.
Then he bent down and kissed her neck, slowly running his hand all the way down from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers.
She shivered at his touch. Then, checking that she was happy for him to do so, he stroked her stomach and ran his hand down to her inner thigh.
His touch was electrifying and Annabel was overtaken by desire. She reached to undo his buttons and soon he was taking off his shirt. The sight of his bare chest made her grin with delight. He was tanned and muscular, with broad shoulders and well-defined abs.
‘Well someone clearly takes care of himself!’ she teased, before reaching up to finger the patch of dark hair at his breastbone. ‘You are so gorgeous,’ she added, enjoying the feel of strong muscle under her fingertips.
James smiled bashfully then leaned down to kiss her again. Annabel wrapped her arms around him, enjoying the feel of his warm skin against her.
‘I think you’ve got a bit of catching up to do, Dr Penrose,’ he said in between kisses. ‘Much as I love this dress . . . ’ He reached around and unzipped it. Seconds later, the dress was on the floor.
‘Is that better?’ Annabel asked coyly, feeling a little shy as she sat there in nothing but her black satin underwear.
James gave a low growl of appreciation and wrapped her in his strong arms, rolling over on top of her and kissing her, more passionately now.
She could feel his arousal and the heat of desire coursed through her.
She tugged at his belt and, his eyes never leaving hers, he obliged her by standing up and taking off his remaining clothes.
She gasped at the sight of him fully naked, muscular and firm, and felt a growing ache inside her.
She pulled him down beside her and he unclipped her bra.
He moaned at the sight of her soft breasts, then bent down to brush his lips against them.
Then he made a trail of kisses all the way down her stomach and stopped to slip off her underwear.
He kissed her inner thigh and slowly, teasingly, worked his way up to explore the place that made her moan in delight.
Eventually, she could bear it no longer and pulled him up close to her.
‘I want you,’ she whispered in between kisses.
She reached down to stroke him and his deep, guttural groan made it clear that he felt the same way.
Fears and inhibitions were forgotten and their bodies melted together in a blissful union.
After, they lay entwined in each other’s arms, both happy and deeply satisfied.
‘It’s been a wonderful evening, thank you, Annie, the perfect way to say goodbye.’ He kissed her cheek then pulled her onto him as he settled into his pillow. With her head on his chest, she didn’t see the sad look in his eyes as he spoke the words.
Within moments his breathing had deepened and he was asleep.
But Annabel lay there, wide awake, for some time, reflecting on what he had said.
Goodbye. Had part of her hoped that there was some way that this could have continued?
Yes, perhaps it had. She was not naive enough to think that straight out of the ashes of two recently failed relationships a long-distance romance could have kindled, but the finality of goodbye made a part of her ache.
Annabel woke early. Her mouth was dry and her head was thumping.
She checked her watch: 5.27 a.m. She looked down at James, sleeping peacefully beside her.
His brow smooth, he looked younger and so carefree.
Memories of the previous night flooded back and her stomach flipped as she remembered his touch and his kisses.
How she wished things could have been different, that they could have met under more straightforward circumstances.
She slipped out of bed and quietly got dressed. Her flight was at eleven and she needed to get back to Emma’s to finish packing and say goodbye to the family. Without disturbing James, she gathered up her things and scribbled a note to leave on the kitchen table.
She hated goodbyes. It had been lovely while it lasted, but now it was time to go home.