CHAPTER 30
Cornwall
Three weeks later
The sun was shining as Annabel and her brother William greeted guests at the door of All Saints’ Church in Wincastle.
It was early summer and the weather was obligingly warm and pleasant for the morning of their grandmother’s funeral.
Annabel looked around the churchyard and smiled at the magnolia tree in full bloom and the magnificent carpet of bluebells under the trees.
‘Dotty would have loved this!’ she said, her eyes shining with unshed emotion.
William put an arm around his sister. ‘I know. But she’s here, sis, I’m sure of that.’ He squeezed her shoulder. ‘You know she was never one to miss a good party!’ He gave her a cheerful wink.
Inside the church, their father Noel was handing out the orders of service, perched on a stool to rest his hip, as per his wife’s instructions.
His recovery had been slow and steady, but a minor setback had delayed their trip to Cornwall – and, consequently the funeral – by a couple of weeks.
Jeanette, looking chic and elegant in a navy-blue coat dress, was chatting to the vicar, Reverend Pascoe.
The beautiful strains of ‘Ave Maria’ came from the organ and the scent of lilies filled the air.
The church was packed. In a bittersweet echo of her one hundredth birthday party, Dotty’s nearest and dearest had turned out in their masses for her. But this time it was to bid farewell.
It had been three weeks since Annabel’s return from Singapore and, once she had recovered from the jet lag, she had kept herself busy.
Her first task had been to meet Luke for a coffee and spell out, in no uncertain terms, that it was over between them.
She ignored his pleas for forgiveness and reminded him that apart from wanting different things out of life, ultimately, he had lost her trust and respect.
‘There’s someone else, isn’t there?’ he had asked, bitterness and accusation in his voice.
Annabel’s stomach had twisted as her mind had drifted back to James.
Was there someone else? She wasn’t sure.
She had fought hard to push him out of her mind, but hadn’t yet managed to make it through a day without him interrupting her thoughts.
They had exchanged occasional messages since her return to England, but at such distance and in different time zones, their former intimacy had turned into polite chit-chat.
Annabel decided that it was for the best to draw a line and move on.
He lived on the other side of the world, for goodness’ sake, never mind the fact that he was also reeling from an unfaithful wife and trying to cope with what sounded like an acrimonious divorce.
He was trying to be a good dad to his daughter and carve out some sort of new life for himself.
As for her, she needed time to figure things out for herself after her break-up, too.
It was all just too complicated. It had been a holiday romance, fun while it lasted.
‘No, of course not,’ she had replied, somewhat defensively. She could feel the colour rise in her cheeks. ‘But even if there was, Luke, I don’t think you’re exactly in a position to accuse me of infidelity!’
She had ripped off the proverbial Band Aid and left Luke in the café, looking dejected and miserable.
His time alone while she’d been away had not done him any good.
She could tell that he’d been drinking more than usual and having too many late nights.
His face, usually so handsome, looked pale and puffy.
He was unshaven and she could smell that he’d started smoking again.
His whole aura was unkempt and unhealthy and did nothing to change Annabel’s mind.
Her next visits were to her Head of Faculty at Bristol University and her estate agent in Bath.
For a while, she had been mulling over the idea of taking some time off work to focus on the book she was writing and now seemed like the right moment.
Her request for a one-year sabbatical was approved and arrangements were made for her house in Oldfield Park to be rented out.
Since Dotty’s death she had been feeling such a strong pull to Cornwall and, for a while at least, she planned to make Penrose Farm her home. She had given Luke two weeks’ notice to move out of her house, then had packed up her things and headed off down the M5 without a backward glance.
She couldn’t wait to get back to the farm.
After everything she had found out in Singapore, it was almost like she needed to get to know her grandmother again, through this new lens.
She had volunteered to sort Dotty’s belongings during her stay, for which her father was grateful, and the sea air, endless beaches and wide, open countryside would be the perfect tonic to get herself back on track after Luke.
‘It’s Annabel, isn’t it?’ Her thoughts were interrupted by a lilting Cornish voice.
Annabel took in the smiling face and blonde curly hair of the lady approaching the church door and smiled. ‘Hello, Sue!’ she said, recognising the nurse who had taken care of Dotty in her final days. The older woman beamed and wrapped her in a warm hug.
‘I’m so sorry, again, for your loss, my love. You must miss her very much. Your grandmother was a wonderful lady, I felt I had to come and pay my respects.’
Annabel thanked her for coming, then introduced her to William. When the next guests arrived and William started chatting to them, Annabel saw an opportunity and took Sue to one side.
‘Sue, you said something in the hospital that has been playing on my mind. After she died, you said that Dotty was a very brave lady. Do you remember?’
Sue nodded, her smiling face becoming serious.
‘At the time, I just thought you meant she’d been brave after her fall, coping with being in hospital and so on. But that wasn’t what you meant, was it?’
Slowly, Sue shook her head.
‘She told you about Singapore, didn’t she? And about my father?’
‘Yes, my love.’ Sue sighed and gave a sad smile.
‘And that’s why I’m here.’ Her tone became hushed and confidential.
‘While she was in hospital, your granny told me that she had something to get off her chest, something that she’d never told anyone.
She said she was going to tell you when you came in the next day, but . . . ’ She trailed off and gave a sigh.
‘She never got the opportunity,’ Annabel finished for her.
The older lady’s brow furrowed in thought.
‘I don’t know if she knew her time was nearly up, but I could tell it was important to her to share whatever it was.
She asked me if I would listen and I said I would.
’ Sue gave a little shrug. ‘Dotty was such a sweet old thing that I was happy to. So I stayed on after my shift that afternoon, made us both a nice cup of tea and she told me her story. But to be honest, it all sounded so fantastical that I wasn’t sure if she was making it up, losing her marbles, maybe? ’
Annabel chuckled. ‘I think Dotty kept every one of her marbles right up until the very end!’
‘But it wasn’t all true, was it? All that about living in Singapore with that good-for-nothing husband, the war, the baby, the prison camp?’
Annabel gave a wry smile and nodded.
‘Well, blow me!’ Nurse Sue said, her face a picture of surprise.
‘She said she hadn’t told any of the family,’ she continued.
‘Made me swear to keep it secret until she’d passed, but then to let you know.
She was quite insistent about that. “Tell Annabel,” she kept saying.
“She’ll understand”. She loved you so much, my dear.
’ The nurse reached out and squeezed Annabel’s hand.
‘So that’s why I came today, to see you again.
Dotty wanted me to tell you everything.’ She gestured to the church and the guests, ‘Not now, obviously, but maybe we could have a cup of tea one day and I could tell you what she said. But it sounds like you already know a lot of it?’
Annabel smiled fondly and nodded. ‘Thank you, Sue, I’d like that.
And thank you for being there for Dotty.
She hadn’t told us anything. But I found some old letters and photographs in her desk and curiosity got the better of me.
I went out to Singapore a few weeks ago and managed to piece together her story. ’
Sue’s mouth dropped open. ‘Oh lovey, you went all that way, halfway around the world? You needn’t have gone on a plane, you could have just come over to Bodmin and I would have told you everything!’
Annabel burst out laughing at the irony and gave her a spontaneous hug. They swapped phone numbers and agreed to meet soon.
‘Before I go in, I just want to tell you two things that Dotty kept saying, over and over,’ Sue said. ‘First, she told me that taking your father as a baby was the best thing that ever happened to her.’
Annabel felt a lump in her throat and fresh tears pricked at her eyes.
‘Second, she asked for forgiveness for what she did. I think you probably know what I mean. It’s sad to think that she carried that guilt and shame with her until the very end.’
Annabel’s face fell as she thought of the suffering her grandmother had gone through.
‘Oh, poor Dotty,’ she sighed. ‘The guilt wasn’t hers, Sue. It wasn’t her fault, I found that out while I was in Singapore.’
‘Oh, really? Well that’s marvellous!’ Sue chuckled, her face breaking into a wide smile.
‘What a relief! Well, you’d better tell her that, my love, then your grandmother can rest in peace!
’ Sue looked up at the blue sky and smiled.
‘Look, a skylark!’ she said, pointing to a small bird high above them.
‘Don’t often see them around these parts.
Now, that’s a good sign!’ She squeezed Annabel’s hand encouragingly one last time, then made her way into the church.