Chapter 8
8
R AIN
Colorado
“What about these?” I say, picking up two more cocktail dresses.
Eve glances at them, touching the fabric.
Pursing her lips, she runs a critical eye on them.
“I like both of them.”
“How is it, girls? Did you find something that you like?” Maggie, the boutique owner, asks, walking to us.
“Yes, we did,” Eve says, pointing at her selection.
“Oh, I love those dresses. And the fabric feels so nice,” Maggie says.
Smoothly, she picks them up and takes them to the fitting room.
“How’s Rene?” she tosses over her shoulder as Eve, and I enter the room as well.
“She’s good. Thank you for asking. She’s happy that I’m home,” Eve says.
“I’m happy to see you back as well. Both of you. Rain, you too. I haven’t seen you in a while. Any news from your mother?”
“She’s enjoying her new life at the beach.”
Maggie breathes out a chuckle.
“Mmm… I’d love to do that. Who knows? Maybe I’ll sell the store someday and move closer to the ocean. The harsh weather can be too much after a while.”
We all agree.
“Anyway, let me know if you need anything else,” Maggie says before leaving the fitting room.
I close the door, and for the next few minutes, Eve tries on several outfits while I help her, giving her suggestions.
She settles for a red satin dress and a blue chiffon frock that highlights her wavy dark hair and sea-like eyes.
“Which one do you think he’d like?” she asks.
“Why do you care?”
Tipping her head to the side, she gives me a small smile.
I grin, amused.
“You’re such a man-pleaser, Eve Malone. It doesn’t matter what he likes. You have to love it, or you’ll feel like crap. That’s something he won’t like for sure.”
“Please?”
“Okay... The red dress will get him hard,” I say bluntly, examining her options.
Her eyes widen in surprise.
I flip my palms up, grinning.
“What?? You wanted to know.”
She shushes me before we both chuckle.
“What is wrong with you?” she says under her breath, shaking her head in disbelief.
A soft knock on the door makes us whip our heads in that direction.
“Are you girls okay?”
“Yes. Maggie?”
The door opens, and the woman sticks her head inside.
“Which one would you pick?” Eve asks, pointing to her two choices.
“I’d go with the red one,” she says before her phone starts ringing, making her pull away.
I look at Eve, grinning.
“I told you.”
“How come I never know this stuff?”
“Because you’re so whipped.”
“I’m not whipped,” she says, smiling. “Although I like Sam.”
“You ‘like’ him, or you ‘love’ him?”
“I think ‘liking him‘ lasts a little longer.”
“You’re probably right,” I say, nodding in agreement.
Minutes later, we slip the shopping bags into the trunk of my rented car and take a stroll downtown.
Bright sunlight beams over the sidewalks, the wind puffing the colorful striped awnings.
More shops and boutiques have popped up on both sides of the street since I walked downtown last time, and beautiful flowers adorn the windows.
I glance around, relishing the calmness of the summer afternoon and the warm light, soothing sounds, and smell of grilled food.
Speaking of which.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
Eve smiles at me as if I just read her mind.
We pick one of the newest restaurants, sit at a table on the terrace, and receive the appetizers while waiting for the main course.
“Everything looks nice,” Eve says as I check the street again.
“Yes, it does,” I murmur.
Memories come back to me, and some of them are bittersweet, but even so, the magic of this place has remained untouched for the most part.
“I see myself moving back someday,” I say.
“Seriously?”
“Uh-huh,” I mumble, chewing on a piece of bread. “New York is nice. There’s always something to do, the energy is fantastic, and the possibilities are plenty, but at the end of the day, I feel lonely.”
“Maybe because you are lonely.”
A smile tilts her lips.
“Yeah. It could be. Anyway, I always thought I’d end up somewhere close to a beach, a quiet place where I’d write for a living, but now that I think about it, I could do the same thing here.”
“You could probably do it right now.”
Smiling, I shift my eyes to my plate.
“I don’t know... It’s too early to think about it. As beautiful as it is, this place reminds me of so many things I wish I could forget. But,” I say more optimistically, “now that I’m here, I might check the real estate and see what’s on the market.”
“Your parents‘ home was up for sale a few months back.”
“Was it?”
“Mm-hmm. My mom told me. The last owner defaulted on his loan, and the house was repossessed. The selling price was good too.”
“Hmm... I’ll look into it, although I’m not so sure I want to live in that house again,” I say just as the waitress brings more food to the table.
* * *
RAIN
I make the trip back to my place after giving Eve a ride to her parents’ home.
This time, I rented a vacation home to avoid the hotel.
I wanted to make sure I wasn’t booking something in one of Sexton’s properties again.
I spend most of the afternoon preparing for the party.
After careful consideration, I ditch the black dress and opt for a stylish white and pink little number.
It’s sleeveless, with a small cutout at the back neckline, adding a bit of sass. It’s nothing too obvious to scream for attention.
I slip into a matching pair of heels, grab the beaded clutch, and slither out the door.
A car picks me up twenty minutes later and drops me off in front of a round-shaped building half an hour later.
It’s the perfect place for weddings and anniversaries.
I’m not surprised Eve’s parents picked this very spot to celebrate their thirtieth year of marriage.
The venue is surrounded by beautifully manicured lawns, big trees, and plenty of space for the guests, a small lake stretching across one side of the property.
Linen-dressed tables are set on the terrace, while fountains, gazebos, and wooden benches litter the grass.
As the day slowly fades into the night, hundreds of candles come to life, making the place look like a fairy tale.
Rene and Donnie set the tone of the evening, and the laid-back atmosphere helps everybody to relax.
Their voices drift through the air, accompanied by the cheers and laughter coming from their guests.
People clink their glasses, indulge in the gourmet food, or spin slowly on the dance floor.
The women in attendance wear summer dresses, while the men sport dress pants and button-down shirts. A few have opted for suits, but none of them are dressed formally.
Eve looks heavenly in her red dress.
Sam, a twenty-three old man with brown hair and blue eyes, appears to be smitten with her. There’s chemistry between them, more than she likes to admit.
I spend some time chatting with a few guests before finding a quiet spot and retreating to the side.
Standing, I enjoy the perfect view.
After a few more minutes, I grab a glass of champagne and stroll to the nearby gazebos.
Leaning against a tree, I root my eyes to the dance floor. The place is flooded with light, the glow flowing into the sky.
Moving my gaze, I scan the crowd, suddenly wrestling with a strange feeling. The edge of a stare burns holes into my face, prompting me to flick my head to the side.
I glance around, yet I see nothing.
Unsettled, I bring my glass to my lips. The champagne is not strong enough to quench my nerves, so I focus back on the people, trying to keep myself distracted.
A few more moments pass before I sense that stare again.
Grappling with apprehension, I check the closest two pavilions again and notice something strange.
The lit tip of a cigarette glows against the backdrop of the night in one of the gazebos, the little light setting off a chemical reaction in my body.
My heart races, and my knees begin to quiver.
I keep my eyes glued to that patch of darkness, waiting for the cigarette to gleam again.
Sure enough, the light glows brightly for the second time, revealing a man’s face.
A man I know so well.
My blood freezes in my veins, and my heart starts pounding.
Trembling legs take me away from the tree, erasing the space between the pavilion and me.
The kiosk goes completely dark, making me doubt myself.
It can’t be him.
Slowing down, I walk past the kiosk when the little light comes to life again, flashing an orange-red glow.
I hesitate for a second before making up my mind and veering away, heading to the building.
A voice echoes in the dark behind me, and it flows through me, holding the same power over me as it always had, rendering me breathless even after all this time.
“Rain?”
I could recognize his voice anywhere with ease. Although this time, he sounds different.
His tone is deep and mellow, no longer bearing an edge.
Slowly, I turn around.
He stands there, his backside propped against the railing, his eyes rooted on me.
“James…?” I murmur, taking a few steps toward him.
The tip of his cigarette casts a light over his face again, his eyes looking like burning embers in the dimness.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, barely breathing.
He looks away, blowing the smoke to the side before swinging his gaze back to me and locking my eyes.
“I’m a guest.”
“Guest? Eve’s guest?”
“Yes.”
Something doesn’t feel right.
I glance around.
“Are you alone?”
A smile glints across his lips.
“You mean without my friends?”
“No. I mean without your girlfriends.”
“Hmm... Girlfriends. Are we still on that topic?” he jokes, his humor lost on me.
Anger soars through me at once, prompting me to spin away.
“Rain?”
Footsteps rush behind me as he pushes off the railing and bolts after me.
He grips my elbow before I get the chance to pull away.
His other hand goes to my shoulder, nudging me to turn around and face him.
His body heat envelopes me, his unmistakable scent––a dash of cologne and smoke–– reaching my nostrils.
“Don’t leave,” he says seriously.
“I don’t want to fight you.”
“We won’t fight. I need a few moments with you. It’s the only reason I am here.”
He studies me before taking his hands off and breaking away from me.
Silently, he lights a couple of candle lanterns, and a soft glow grows around the pavilion. The place is wrapped in wild roses and lined with wooden floors. It’s pretty.
I steal a glance at him.
There’s something different about him.
His magnetism is no longer fueled by his wild streak. He seems more profound, deeper.
His fitted white shirt is undone at the neckline, and the sleeves are rolled up. Black pants fall perfectly over his legs, setting off his muscular body.
He oozes the same sexual energy, despite doing nothing.
A ring graces his finger, prompting me to do a double-take and lose my breath briefly.
His lips curve into a soft grin.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“I’m not married.”
“I’m not interested anyway.”
He fights back a smile.
“Okay. About my girlfriends––”
“I don’t care about that, either,” I toss at him harshly.
“I’m single,” he says calmly, ignoring my fit.
I stay quiet.
He leans against the balustrade, his arms folded across his chest, his gaze pinned on me.
Slowly, he brings his cigarette to his lips, narrowing his eyes as he inhales the smoke.
His hair and eyes catch the lights of the party.
“What about you? Are you with someone?” he asks, his tone reserved.
“Nothing has changed,” I deadpan, pulling my gaze away from him.
“How’s the business going?” he asks.
I pivot to leave.
“Hey.”
His hand comes to my arm, his fingers touching me softly.
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he says as I face him again.
“Business is good.”
I keep my voice even despite the emotions swirling inside me.
“You should’ve kept the money,” he says and pauses, observing me in silence.
It doesn’t take long before he notices my saddened eyes and slowly shakes his head.
“What you did was childish and didn’t prove a damn thing. Not to me anyway,” he comments in a serious voice.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, trying to sound unaffected.
He puts his cigarette out, closes the small space between us, and stops in front of me.
His hands come to my neck, his fingers sliding into my hair, spurring tingles all over my skin.
My conviction starts to melt.
“You will listen to me one last time,” he says, his voice soft, calm, and undeterred. “The only reason I asked Eve to invite me here tonight was that I wanted to apologize to you face to face.”
He looks into my eyes, and all I feel is the pain I’ve harbored in me and the growing longing I’ve struggled with all this time.
“It won’t do anything for me,” I say.
I don’t feel anger as much as immense sadness.
“I’m aware of that… But I need you to know the truth. The whole truth. The things that I’ve kept away from you and had a hard time admitting even to myself.”
“Why now?”
He brings his fingers to my face and runs his thumbs under my eyes, brushing away warm tears.
“Because I’m the only one responsible for what happened to you. And I need to make it right for you and me.”
His words make me ache inside.
“Nothing happened to me, James,” I say, trying to deny the truth yet failing miserably.
Smiling bitterly, he slowly shakes his head.
“Everything happened to you. And it did because of my recklessness,” he says, remorseful.
He glances away, his lips curved into a nostalgic smile.
“Do you remember that night when you and Eve came to the Dark House?”
His gaze shifts back to me, his fingers gently trailing my jawline, his touch warming my skin.
“They brought you in… And one of my guys questioned you, and at that moment, I realized how beautiful you were. How pure and rare you were. And when I took you to my bedroom and had you only for myself, blindfolded… Do you remember that particular moment?” he asks, softly caressing my cheek.
“Yes, I do,” I murmur.
“Do you recollect why I didn’t want you to remove your blindfold?”
“It had made you uncomfortable,” I say, lost in his eyes.
He nods.
“Yes. I couldn’t let you see my eyes. If I let you see me, you would’ve known how fascinated I was with you. How easy it was for you to taunt me and seduce me…” he says, smiling warmly as if revisiting a memory dear to his heart. “You didn’t even have to do any of that. I was already smitten with you. It was surprising in a way because I’ve never felt like that for anyone before you. The thought that you hadn’t been with a man frightened me, and that was unusual for me. There were very few things I couldn’t control before we met, and with one smile, you took all that power away from me, disarming me completely. You came to me, innocent and trustful, showing me how much you wanted me and needed me. And you had me right there and then. I was captivated by the idea, but I was also fearful of what might happen. You were right. I didn’t know what to do with you. I didn’t know how to love you or how to be good to you. I’d never been good to anyone before. On the other hand, I couldn’t just let go of you, so I dwelled… The morning I abandoned you in the Dark House, I felt like a coward. I didn’t answer your texts because I knew you’d pull me back if I did.”
He pauses, his eyes glinting with emotion.
“And then fate wanted us to meet again––I knew it was bound to happen––and you seemed more determined than ever to make me your first man. And I went for it, changing you, tarnishing you, and making you more like me.”
He rests his hand on my waist, looking away for a second, and I touch his chest.
He locks my eyes.
“And yes… I hated you,” he says softly, his eyes glistening faintly as he recollects those times. “And it wasn’t because of how you were. It’s just that I couldn’t get a grip on how you made me feel, so I smashed your heart and crushed your dreams, dismissing your idealistic view of life. It wasn’t because I didn’t love the way you were. I did. I was mesmerized with you, but you also made me feel vulnerable. So instead of just loving that beautiful girl who wanted to be mine, I ruined her and dragged her down. And the more I did it, the more I missed her innocence and the angrier I became. And then, things spun out of control, and it all went downhill from there on. I started to lie to you, and I let Lex and Ed have access to you. You were right. They would’ve never touched you had I not allowed it.”
Tears stain my face.
“You despise me, then…? Because I slept with them?”
He shakes his head in response.
“No. No, I don’t. I still think it was one of the hottest nights of my life. They do, too.”
“Why did you act differently after that night, then?”
“To protect myself. As our time together was drawing to an end, I wanted to turn things around, but I quickly realized they were no longer in my control. I needed something from you, and you weren’t ready to give it to me. I knew it was my fault, so I stepped back and acted cold toward you.”
“You’ve never even asked me. How did you know I couldn’t give you what you wanted?”
“I didn’t need to.”
A sad smile tugs at his lips.
“You could no longer trust me, and that was understandable, but something worse than that had happened,” he says. “You no longer needed me. The days we’d spent in New York showed me your passion, boldness, and wisdom. You’d given me the best time of my life. You’d really had me. Owned me. Your body had. And your mind had, too. But your heart was no longer mine. It had been locked away, so you let me touch it once in a while before quickly pulling it away. At that point, I realized I had nothing to offer you. You could’ve easily scored someone just like me and gotten settled. That guy, David Moore. He would’ve done it in a second even if it had cost him half his wealth to get a divorce.”
He sucks in a long breath.
“Why are you telling me all this now?”
A soft smile parts his lips.
“I wanted you to know the truth. And after all this time, I also had to admit it to myself. You truly were that special woman to me, and I loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you. And I loved you despite all the people that came between us. I was angry as hell because you chose to do what you did, but I knew I wasn’t any better, so my moral outrage was hardly justified.”
“How could this change anything?” I murmur, disheartened by his confession.
“Maybe it won’t. But if you’re angry with me, it should at least be for the right reasons, not something you imagined. I couldn’t stomach the hate in your eyes when we met last time. Those women you saw us with on New Year’s Eve... We hire women for events. Sometimes we take them home. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we end up in a club with other women. I’m not proud of myself. I’m just stating the truth. They weren’t special, or better, or something you weren’t. Also, I didn’t book that week in New York to humiliate you. I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted to give you a taste of how your life could’ve been with me. I was hoping you’d give me a second chance. I threw money away. Yeah, I did. But I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
We go silent for a moment, his gaze moving to the party unfolding not far from us.