Chapter 9
9
R AIN
“When are you flying back?” he asks as I shift my position and look at the guests as well.
“Next Saturday.”
“Do you have a place to stay?”
“I rented a house...”
My voice trails off, and I suddenly feel downcast.
What’s the point of hearing all this now? We’re still hurting. Still missing parts of our souls.
Whether we want it or not, we live in the aftermath of a bloody war.
Our eyes stay trained on the people celebrating their time-tested love while we grieve the demise of our love story.
It’s so sad that I taste tears on my lips.
“Do you think there are fireflies in the woods near the lake this time of year?” I ask quietly.
He shifts his gaze to me.
“Yes, there are,” he says.
“Can we go see them?”
He smiles softly.
“Sure.”
He blows out the candles, gently takes my hand, and walks me out of the gazebo.
“Were you watching me tonight?” I ask, realizing he must’ve sat there in the darkness the entire evening.
“Yes, I was.”
“And what did you see?” I ask as he paces himself so I can walk in step with him.
His beautiful smile gleams in the dimness.
“An alluring, wounded woman,” he murmurs before we both go quiet.
Soon, we follow the gravel path snaking around the building, and reach the parking lot in the back.
He motions me to his black Lamborghini. We head that way.
I slide into my seat while he starts the ignition and rolls the windows down. The breeze flows in.
The engine rumbles as he propels his sports car onto the open road, and before long, we slow down, the quiet evening enveloping us as we drive through open fields and dark forests, leaving the magnificent estates behind.
The air is warm and smells like flowers and freshly cut grass while the wind blows in my hair.
As the car eats miles, I relax and let my mind unwind.
Propping his elbow against the door, he threads his fingers through his hair, his fist latched onto the steering wheel.
His muscular arms catch my eye before my gaze slides over his chest.
His eyes stay on the road as I let my gaze float over his body and study him as if I see him for the first time.
Handsome as ever, he breathes calmness and peace.
He still affects me badly, and that will probably never change.
Sunk in thought, I tear my gaze away from him and look out the window.
“You lost your trust in me, too,” I say after a moment.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice him flicking his gaze in my direction. “And I miss that too,” I add, glancing at him.
The wind blows a few strands of hair over his eyes.
He combs it all back with his fingers, shifting his focus to the road.
“I miss your emotions,” I murmur. “The awe I saw in your eyes. The way you touched me as if I were the most fragile thing in the world, and you knew I couldn’t survive without your heart. I remember those moments when you breathed me in as if I were the only person that mattered to you. Yes, I do… That’s why I responded to you the way I did. That’s why you were so special to me too.”
He glances at me, his eyes glinting.
“And then… Like you, I didn’t feel needed anymore,” I continue. “You made it clear to me you didn’t need me. And there was no doubt in my mind that you had had an endless supply of women, and replacing me was a matter of days, if not hours. You made it no secret, either. You told me you were never going to be mine. You worked so hard not to need anyone.”
“Things have changed,” he says.
“What has changed?”
“It took me a while, but I got tired of living that way. I was angry, lonely, and sick of reliving that moment when my heart was crushed as a little boy. After I lost you, I no longer cared if it happened to me again, and I was willing to take that risk and have real feelings for someone again.”
We share a stare before he shifts his gaze away from me, and I look out the window again.
The car slows down as we enter a dirt road that cuts through a few clusters of trees. He pulls the car to a smooth halt not far from the lake and turns off the ignition.
Pale moonlight glows over us.
As soon as my eyes adjust, I see them in the dimness––swarms of fireflies floating in the air, looking like tiny, pulsing stars.
We climb out and lean against the hood of his car next to each other, our eyes trained on the tapestry of lights in front of us.
“You know they talk to each other with their lights,” he says. “That’s how they find mates. The females pick the males they want.”
His eyes meet mine for a moment.
“You wouldn’t strike me as a firefly expert,” I comment.
He laughs softly.
“That may be a fair assessment, but I sure know a lot about mating,” he says, flashing a faint grin. “Too bad it doesn’t help me much.”
We swing our eyes back to the lights.
“So, how’s life at the top?” I ask.
“Not bad.”
“I watched that documentary on TV.”
He gives me a questioning look.
“Living the Billionaire Life,” I say, smiling, amused.
He chuckles.
“The name is cheesy, but what can you expect?” he murmurs.
“Is that who you are?”
“I guess I am for most people, but you know who I am… Probably better than anyone else.”
“Your friends know you too.”
“They do, but only you know a particular side of me.”
“Were you jealous because of them?” I ask.
“Mm-hmm,” he murmurs sincerely.
“You didn’t show it.”
“That’s because I’m fucked up.”
“You didn’t care about me… That night on the island.”
“Yes, I did. But I knew you wanted it. It was curiosity, perhaps. I don’t know.”
“I could’ve hooked up with either of them after that night.”
“Yes, you could’ve, but then I would’ve gotten a quick answer and a swift way out of the story.”
“Were you testing me?”
He swivels his head to me, grinning.
“I’m not that calculated.”
I smile.
“Oh, yes... I think you are.”
He chuckles.
“Were all the ‘ Nights of the Kings’ the same? Lex said mine was different,” I say.
“It was... Yours was more about you than it was about us.”
“It was hot…” I murmur, my mind drifting away, my eyes going back to the floating lights. “So, how do they choose a male?” I ask, pointing to the cloud of lights.
“They flicker their lights at them. Not much different than how women do it.”
I smile.
“I bet that wasn’t your experience. I’m sure women were attracted to you like moths to a light.”
He laughs again.
“Yeah... probably,” he says before his face turns serious as if he muses over something different.
“Would you...?” he starts in a softer voice.
I shift my gaze to him.
“Would you consider spending some time with me this week?” he asks.
My smile drops from my face.
“It’s not what you think,” he says, noticing my reaction. “I just want to spend some time with you.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I say quietly.
He pushes off the car and pivots to face me.
“I’m not in that place yet...” I murmur, holding his mournful eyes. “I can’t just spend time with you and leave as if nothing happened.”
His fingers slide to my face, making my body tremble like a flickering torch.
“I’m not there either,” he says.
Our eyes stay locked for a few more seconds before my gaze dips to his lips.
“It’s one week. If I’m the only man you’ve ever loved, give me one week, and I’ll try to make you stay. If you stay, there’s no turning back to your old life. No other men. If, despite my efforts, you choose to leave, we part ways for good and never look back.”
My eyes dart back and forth as I ponder. I question his intentions, but in the end, it sounds like a decent proposal.
“Okay,” I say.
“You can stay at the Dark House.”
I open my mouth to protest.
His thumb seals my lips, demanding silence.
“Please... You’ll be on your own,” he says, his finger softly stroking the corner of my lips.
I find myself quivering again.
“I will come to you when you invite me. You’ll have a maid and a driver, and no one will bother you.
“I’ve already paid for my place.”
“I’ll pick up the tab.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I want to. We’re not debating this. I said one week. We’re not talking money. I respect your space and desires, but not when it comes to how I spend my money. Okay?”
“All right.”
He peels his fingers off my face, leaving me bereft.
* * *
RAIN
The Dark House is no longer shrouded in darkness.
The space surrounding the estate has been transformed into a meticulously designed landscape with convoluted footpaths, freshly painted benches, trimmed old trees, and even more wild rose shrubs.
The front of the house sparkles with light, the tall windows filtering the view of the elegant foyer.
“What happened to the house?” I ask as we pull up in the round driveway.
“It had a makeover,” he says, smiling.
“What about the...?”
“Orgies?”
I smile.
“Yeah... The orgies.”
“There aren’t any,” he says, pulling the key out of the ignition.
“When did they stop?”
“After you trespassed the place,” he jokes.
I look at him incredulously.
“You mean, no more orgies here,” I comment as he already climbs out of the car.
He walks around and helps me out, holding my hand as I push out of my seat, straighten my back, and take a step toward him.
I lose my balance for a moment, his arm draping around me promptly as his chest stops inches away from mine.
A cloud of electricity sparks between us.
My back meets the metallic frame of his car, and we both freeze for a moment, my hand tucked in his palm. My body enveloped in his warmth.
Heat collars my neck, spreading over my chest while a voice screams inside me, reminding me how badly I want him.
“Not elsewhere either,” he says.
“Hmm…” I murmur, lost in his eyes, no longer focused on our conversation.
“Orgies... There weren’t elsewhere either. Not after we spent that night with you,” he offers again.
I study his face.
“And you expect me to believe you?”
Slowly, he shakes his head and slides his fingers through my hair, his eyes following his tender motion.
Spellbound, I stare at him.
He knows I’m trapped, captivated by his charm, so he flashes a knowing smile.
“We got a taste of something different, and we couldn’t just go back,” he says.
Blood warms my face.
“You can’t possibly say that to me to flatter me.”
He shifts his focus to my eyes, a grin beaming in his gaze.
“I’m honest with you. Some things you may like, and some you may not, but I can’t afford to lie to you. Especially now since this might be my only chance to turn things around.”
His thumb goes down my face, spurring a storm across my skin.
“I’m not saying it to flatter you. We weren’t only fucking you, and that made that experience so unique and hard to replicate.”
I suddenly feel hot.
My gaze dips before I look at him again.
A few moments of silence pass.
“How has your life been all this time?” I ask.
He flicks his eyes away, a dark shadow sliding over his face.
I bring my hand to his cheek, demanding his attention.
“Truth is on the table for both of us,” I say. “If you want me to trust you, you need to answer my questions. Truthfully. And all of them. I’ll do the same for you.”
“How has your life been?” he throws at me, his voice strained, a hard edge flashing through it.
I search his eyes.
“I can’t change my past, James. We both have to live with it.”
“I know,” he says, the sorrow in his voice making my chest tighten with regret.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You really want to know?”
“Uh-huh.”
He runs his fingers through his hair and cuts his eyes away again. I let him. And then he brings his gaze back to me.
“I’ve had a couple of women on retainer for convenience and exclusivity. Dancers.”
The warmth I felt a moment ago vanishes in a split second, icicles forming on my skin.
“A couple?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“You trusted them?”
“No, not really. But I made sure they honored their end of the deal. Considering the chunk of money they had made, it made no sense to cross me.”
“Are they still on your payroll?” I say, lifting an eyebrow.
Irritation flashes through my voice.
He stifles a grin.
“No.”
“Are you fucking with me?”
He shakes his head, a smile spilling over his lips.
“They’re out of work now,” he says seriously.
“Since when?”
“A couple of hours ago,” he murmurs, poker-faced, not very good at hiding his amusement.
I look down at my shoes to hide my smile.
“You haven’t changed, have you? And other than that?” I ask, regaining my composure and looking up at him again.
“They haven’t been the same couple of dancers all this time,” he says, barely suppressing a grin.
“Fuck you, James. You’re not serious,” I say, but for some reason, I can’t be angry with him.
“Okay... Okay,” he says.
His smile vanishes as he cups my face.
“Seriously, now. If you want to know the truth about the time we lost being away from one another, you should know more about what I didn’t do. I didn’t date. I didn’t fall in love. There were no girlfriends, socialites, lawyers, or other people who had worked for me. There wasn’t anyone who remotely thought about a relationship with me. I stayed away from those women. And not because I hoped I’d meet you again one day, but because I didn’t want anyone. I couldn’t let anyone close to me the way I let you.”
He pauses as I still search his eyes.
“I didn’t make babies. I’m clean. Okay?” he says in a softer voice.
“Okay.”
Both hands glide over my face, their touch soft and tender, bringing warmth to my skin.
“About my life...” I begin, and his finger goes to my lips.
“I don’t want to know about your men. Tell me about anything else. What you write and what you read. But no men. Okay?”
I nod.
“I finished writing my first real book,” I say.
“What kind of book?”
“It’s autobiographical,” I say, stroking his chest through his shirt. “And it’s loosely based on my life,” I say, glancing up at him, smiling naughtily.
“Oh, shit.”
A playful grin tugs at his lips.
“Am I in it?”
“What do you think?” I ask, amused.
“Hmm... What’s it called?”
“Owned,” I say, gauging his reaction.
His eyes narrow with a smile as he softly bobs his head.
“Good title,” he says. “Suggestive, although it goes both ways.”
I crush a grin before smoothly tearing away from him.
“Okay then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say in a different voice.
His expression shifts, and suddenly, he’s all business again.
“Sounds good. The staff is already here. Your things will be brought to the house within the hour,” he says and pauses for a second. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he adds, yet he doesn’t move.
I ponder and then close the distance between us. Pushing up on my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck.
He tilts his head down to me, and I softly kiss his cheek and then... his lips.
We still for a moment, our lips connected, my heart bursting in my chest, his hand gripping my waist.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say before pulling away from him.