Chapter Four
Jamal
I whistled an upbeat tune as I walked along the sidewalk towards the office building. Noticing a woman approaching from the opposite side, I jogged ahead to grab the door. I opened it for her and gave a slight bow, offering, “After you,” and she thanked me with a smile.
My good mood couldn’t be contained; Geo had filled me with happiness and light that I wanted to share with the world. The last few weeks, he and I had spent almost every evening together. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, snuggling, kissing, and making love. A lot.
But it wasn’t just the mind-melting sex that had me on cloud nine. Just being in Geo’s presence or thinking about him when we were apart made me light on my feet. He was kind, thoughtful, and sweet. He was the type of partner people waited a lifetime to meet, with some never knowing the pleasure.
Geo made everything pleasurable. When he could tell I was having a tough day at work, he would text me silly jokes to make me smile, and gave me incredible shoulder massages to ease my tension when tough shifts came to an end.
He cooked delicious meals to share with me, and cheered along with me as we watched basketball together. He made my life better.
Which was saying something, because my life was pretty damn great.
I had the job I’d worked so hard for, and enjoyed every minute of it, even on the hard days.
My coworkers respected me, and my superiors were taking notice of my work ethic.
Last week, my boss hand-picked me for a big project because he wanted my insight on a client’s portfolio.
He personally congratulated me on a job well done when it was finished, stating he was impressed by my stock suggestions. Nothing could bring me down.
Nothing except for the sight of Geo sitting at his desk appearing completely distraught. His eyes were red and puffy, and his hands combed through his disheveled hair. He was still beautiful, as he could be nothing but, though it was a far cry from his typical smiling self and it broke my heart.
My mind went into overdrive trying to figure out what could be wrong. My first worry was about our relationship, but I quickly pushed it away; I’d just seen him the night before. We watched a movie together and made love, and everything was amazing, per usual.
My second thought was darker; what if something happened to his parents? What if he got bad news that something went wrong during their travels? But that didn’t seem quite right either; surely he wouldn’t be at work if tragedy had struck.
And surely he would have reached out to tell me. The only thing that made sense was that something happened once he arrived at work. And I wasn’t waiting a moment longer to learn what it was.
I hustled towards his desk just as he stood from his chair. I would have thought he was heading for me as well, but he wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t looking at anything. He had a thousand yard stare fixed on nothing.
We nearly collided, but when I stepped out of the way, Geo only mumbled a “Sorry,” and kept walking without even realizing it was me.
“Geo?” I asked, turning around to face him, but he kept walking as if he didn’t hear me. He nearly jumped out of his skin when I reached out and tapped his shoulder. He spun around and the look of sadness on his face nearly undid me. “Geo, what’s wrong?”
His eyes welled up with moisture and his lip quivered. His gaze bounced around the room, looking to see if any of our coworkers were near. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and said quietly, “Come with me,” before leading him out of the main office area.
Ordinarily, we were very careful about hiding our relationship at work. We never touched each other or flirted around our coworkers. But right now, that was the last thing on my mind. Geo needed me, and no antiquated policy was going to stop me from helping him.
I led Geo into a bathroom in the hall and locked the door behind us. I wasn’t trying to hide him; I simply wanted to give him space to let things out without nosy neighbors butting in, and I wanted to comfort him without an audience.
The moment we were alone, Geo wrapped his arms around my shoulders and buried his face into the lapel of my suit, sobbing as I helplessly rubbed my hands up and down his back.
“Geo, what’s wrong? What happened, sweetheart?”
His voice was muffled as he hiccupped against my chest, “It’s…Richard Swimmins! He’s…he’s…gone!”
I considered myself a smart man. I was well educated and had a good head on my shoulders, so why the hell was my first thought, where did he go? As if he was lost because he swam away to the ocean.
It must have been the stress of the moment that caused the delay in grasping that he meant his pet had died. For a moment, I was relieved, but then I felt like an asshole. Even if in my mind things could be worse, sweet Geo was falling apart in my arms.
I’d never had a pet. But just because I’d never experienced that type of bond, I’d witnessed it first hand with Geo and that little fish. Just because I couldn’t relate didn’t mean that I didn’t care. Anything that affected him was important to me.
“I’m so sorry,” I offered, hugging him tighter. “Why didn’t you call me?” There may not have been anything I could have done, but I would have gladly empathized and supported him.
“I…tried,” he answered before sniffing loudly.
I wriggled my phone from my pocket to find that Geo had attempted to call me four times that morning, and I had six unread texts.
“Oh honey,” I sighed, feeling like an even bigger asshole when I saw the emblem at the top of my screen, “I am so, so sorry; I still have my ringer turned off from when we were watching the movie last night.”
“It’s okay.”
“No it’s not. You needed me and I wasn’t there for you.”
“You are now.” Geo was the one hurting, yet he was still trying to comfort me.
“I’ll always be here for you.” They were big words, but I meant them with every fiber of my being. I wanted to be by his side through all of life’s ups and downs. I wasn’t going anywhere unless he asked me to, and I needed him to know it. “I promise, Geo. Always.”
“I know,” he answered quietly but confidently, and my heart swelled. “So will I.” He was in this just as deeply as I was. I knew it, and I could feel it.
“What do you need? Have you eaten? Would you like a coffee? What can I do for you?” He could ask for anything and I’d find a way to make it happen.
“Just hold me a little while longer?”
It was a simple request that meant so much.
Of all the things he could have asked for, my touch was all he craved.
My presence gave him comfort. So, I held onto his body like the precious treasure it was, stroking his back and dropping kisses on the top of his head.
In that moment, nothing else mattered. Work could wait.
My priority stood before me, wrapped in my arms.
It was the first time I’d ever felt this way.
My whole life, I had been focused on my education and working towards achieving my goals; proving my doubters wrong and carving out my place in the world.
Those things were still important to me, but so was having someone to share it with.
And there was no one else I wanted beside me.
I knew the word for this feeling, and it was fighting like hell to get out of my throat. I’d never spoken it to anyone except for my mother. I’d never felt it before. But now it couldn’t be denied. It filled my lungs until they burned. It weighed on my tongue, demanding to be let out.
“I love you.” My words were quiet but true. Saying them out loud made me feel lighter. I could breathe easier. Nothing had ever felt more right. Granted, maybe I hadn’t planned on telling Geo I loved him for the first time while hiding in the bathroom at work, but it was still somehow perfect.
Geo raised his head from my chest and looked at me with wide eyes. They were swollen and watery, but still the most beautiful I’d ever seen. “I love you too.”
I took his lips in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t rushed or wanting; just a simple act to seal our words. I only pulled away when his tears slid over my lips and down my chin.
“I’m sorry,” he said through quivering lips, “I’m so happy but so sad at the same time.”
I hugged him closely again, rocking him side to side in my hold until his sobs calmed once more. “Why don’t you take today off from this place?”
“I don’t want to get in trouble,” he sniffled.
“Sweetheart, you are allowed to take time off when you need it. That’s what sick days are for.
” I couldn’t help my curiosity. “Have you ever taken a sick day?” He shook his head no against me and I smiled into his hair.
I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. “Then you more than deserve a break. Why don’t you go home, get into some comfy clothes, and relax? ”
After a few moments, Geo nodded. “I don’t think I can concentrate today anyway.” He propped his chin on my sternum to look up at me. “I wish you could come with me.” Per company policy, employees weren’t allowed to take a day off until they had been on the job for ninety days.
“So do I. But how about this; after work, I’ll go home and change, then I’ll come over. I’ll bring dinner, I’ll rub your feet, and I’ll cuddle you all night.”
Geo’s eyes grew misty again. “That sounds perfect.”
I dried his cheeks and kissed the tip of his nose. “Do you want me to come with you to talk to the boss man?”
“No, it’s okay; you need to get to work before you get into trouble.”
I was touched by his thoughtfulness, but, “Geo, if you need me, everything else can wait.”
A small smile finally crossed his lips, drawing one of my own as well. “Thank you, but I’ll be okay.”
“If you’re sure.” He nodded and I kissed his lips. “Okay. Let’s get out of here so you can get home and rest.”
I slid my hand down to the small of his back and guided him to the door. Before he unlocked it, Geo looked over his shoulder and requested, “Tell me again.”
I smiled, not having to ask what he meant. I told him clearly and proudly, “I love you,” and Geo took a deep breath and nodded before opening the door. My words gave him the strength to move forward.
After he promised again that he would be okay, Geo made his way to the boss’s office while I took my seat at my desk, where a pile of work was already waiting for me.
I didn’t know how I was going to concentrate on my tasks when I knew Geo was hurting, but in order to care for him, I had to get everything done at work, and take care of a couple of things at home.
Then I could give him my full attention, right where I wanted it to go.
I kept peeking at the boss’s office until I saw Geo emerge. His eyes quickly found mine, and he gave me a sad smile and wave before taking his leave. I began counting down the minutes until I would see him again.