39. GONEGONE FOREVER
Chapter thirty-nine
GONE OR GONE FOREVER
"It is not enough the girl is going scot-free after deceiving the entire council; now she gets to be released from captivity?" Zaiper slammed the goblet down after gulping the ale. The burn down his throat soothed him, if only slightly.
Four of them were seated at a round table in the dimly lit tavern, three high lords and Zaiper himself. His flagon was nearly empty again. His third one of the night, yet, to his annoyance, it didn’t seem like he would be getting intoxicated any time soon.
Belzebob sighed, his hand lazily swirling the drink in his own goblet before taking a long sip. "Well, I understand the grand king. All of this must not have been easy for him."
"Losing his family, losing his mind, then waking up to realize there’s a human Soulbond waiting to replace everything you lost." Gaff poured more ale into his goblet. "He’s a good male. I will kill her myself and be done with it."
"You can’t do it, she’s a Soulbond ,” Jakal chimed in. “It’s like killing the one person in the entire universe who was created for you and you alone," he sighed wistfully. "I wonder what that feels like."
"No thanks. I already have my Monah," Gaff said, shaking his head. "I cannot imagine her dead, let alone being replaced by someone else. I would kill the person myself, human or Urekai."
"Well, let’s not forget who saved your beloved Monah’s life on the eclipse moon night," Belzebob grunted, casting Gaff a pointed look.
Gaff deflated like a festival balloon. "Every morning, I pray to Urai to bless King Daemonikai. I'm sure millions of us offer the same prayers.” He downed his drink. “I just wish he could be happy again."
"Their bond must have a very strong pull for him to spend her heat with her," Jakal added thoughtfully, his brow furrowed. "Left to me, I’d say the girl should stay. Maybe she’s exactly what he needs to heal. If I found a compatible soul, I don’t care if she were human or witch, I wouldn’t let her go."
Belzebob chuckled, casting a sidelong glance at Jakal. "Hard to believe you have grown tired of bachelorhood, Jakal. A hundred years ago, you were as determined to stay unattached as our esteemed second ruler here." He cast a fleeting glance at Zaiper. "Who would have thought you would talk about bonding with such wishfulness?"
Jakal smiled, raising his goblet in acknowledgment.
Belzebob turned his attention back to Zaiper. "And what about you, Your Highness? Should we expect you to bond anytime soon?"
Zaiper glanced up, suppressing his anger as he looked at their expectant faces. It sickened him how much they adored Daemonikai. Absolutely disgusting. To them, the male could do no wrong.
With the topic of discussion in court, he had expected allies when he invited them for a drink, Instead, he was surrounded by sycophants.
Plastering on a smile, Zaiper shook his head. "Not from me, no worries. Variety is the spice of life."
"Oh, Your Highness, you don’t know what you’re missing," Gaff drawled, swirling his nearly empty goblet. "Having a bondmate is everything. Your life feels... complete. I used to say the same as you, but after I got my Monah? It’s been, what... three hundred years? And not a single female has ever made my eyes stray. None of them compare to her."
"Same with my Haigel. Eight hundred years together, and she’s still my world." Belzebob beamed, his drunken eyes brightening. "I would die if I lost her. Just damn the world and kill myself."
"Sounds like brainwashing and bondage to me," Zaiper deadpanned, raising his goblet to his lips. "I love my freedom, gentlemen. I enjoy it."
Jakal sighed, a long and wistful sound. "I wish I had what you two have. Do you know what my greatest fear is?"
"Get me another flagon!" Gaff shouted, glaring at his empty goblet before glancing at Jakal. "Dying before you get a chance to meet your woman?"
"No, that’s not it." Jakal hiccupped. "Becoming like Grand Lord Vladya." He grimaced. "No offense, Highness Zaiper."
For the first time that night, Zaiper’s face broke into real amusement. "None taken. No one wants to be Vladya. That’s the greatest curse a witch could ever put on anyone."
"You mean his string of failed bondings, right?" Belzebob shook his head, sympathy seeping into his tone. "I not only reject that fate for you, Jakal, but it’s impossible to surpass his record. The average failed bonding is what, five? The third ruler has tripled that."
"Or quadrupled it," Zaiper added, chuckling. "It’s hard to keep track with Vladya."
The others glanced at him, shifting uncomfortably. Clearly, they didn’t find it as amusing as he did. Stuck-up fools.
Belzebob sighed. "It’s hard to think the Skyvakto bloodline will die with him. They are the strongest, right after the grand king’s, ugh—"
He flinched as Gaff kicked him under the table. Belzebob’s eyes widened in alarm. "And... an-and His Highness Zaiper’s, of course!" he added quickly, followed by an awkward laugh.
Zaiper’s smile had disappeared. He straightened in his seat. "Are you suggesting the Skyvakto bloodline is stronger than Dragaxlov ?"
"Ignore him. He’s drunk," Gaff chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, ignore me," Belzebob said, clearly flustered. "I’m drunk."
"Everyone knows how strong your bloodline is, Your Highness,” Jakal stated. “That’s why you are the most feared ruler."
"And the most loved," Gaff added smoothly. "Our people whisper your name with reverence, Your Highness. Unlike Vladya, whom everyone pities. You are undoubtedly the best ruler we could ever ask for."
Zaiper’s sharp gaze lingered on each of them, searching for any hint of deceit. But they seemed genuine.
Maybe they were right. Maybe he was the most loved. After all, what’s not to love?
His anger faded, replaced by a smug grin. "Come on, let’s not spoil the mood with such topics.”
The tension around the table dissolved, and the others exhaled in relief, bursting into laughter. Jakal raised his glass high. "A toast—to the peace and continuous prosperity of our land. To Urai!"
"To Urai!" they chorused, clinking their glasses together.
The high lords continued conversing and laughing uproariously, but Zaiper remained quieter, nursing his drink. The joviality did little to ease him.
To think I’ve lost more of my men this year than in decades... all because of a tiny little human.
It was a good thing the others were too caught up in the drama to investigate who had tried to burn Emeriel. Zaiper might not have given the order himself, but Razarr did. If fingers pointed at Razarr, they pointed at him.
Daemonikai had made sure there would be no investigation by tearing them apart limb by limb and crushing their skulls, making them unidentifiable.
Why is it so hard to kill Emeriel? This was the fourth failed attempt.
Zaiper tipped his goblet back and drained what was left of his drink. Maybe it’s for the best that she’s leaving Urai.
"Lord Vladya is avoiding me."
Emeriel swiveled her head to look at Aekeira, who was working on her chest-bind. "Are you sure? I think he might be quite busy with everything that’s going on."
Aekeira’s shoulders slumped. "Perhaps.”
Emeriel had never imagined witnessing such a transformation in Aekeira. She had gone from openly despising Lord Vladya to expressing genuine concern for him, checking in on him, willingly bloodfeeding him, and constantly worrying about his well-being. It was as unbelievable as it was surreal.
But if Aekeira saw something worth loving in Lord Vladya, Emeriel would support her every step of the way.
"Hey, it's going to be alright, Keira."
Aekeira gave a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I think it’s okay if you want to dress in female garments now, Em. Your secret is out in the open.”
“And everyone wants to kill me for it,” Emeriel replied wryly. “I don’t think it’s wise to flaunt it when they still haven’t adjusted. Plus, it just makes me uncomfortable.”
"I understand." Aekeira finished securing the chest-bind and stepped back. "There. All done."
"Thanks." Emeriel dressed in her usual breeches and tunic.
“You have a visitor,” a soldier's voice announced, making them both glance at the door. Emeriel wondered who it could be. “Are you dressed to receive?”
“Yes, please.”
The door opened and—
“Lord Herod!” Emeriel was already moving toward him. He smiled, opening his arms, and she barreled into them.
“It’s so good to see you, little one.” He patted her hair and pulled back to get a better look at her. “Are you alright?”
"I will be back, Em." Aekeira grabbed her things, moving toward the door. "I have some errands to run."
Emeriel’s lower lip wobbled. “You are worried about me? I have been dying to know how you are faring. I’m so sorry for dragging you into my mess. All week I've been worried sick.”
“Please, do not let your beloved hear that,” he said, amused.
“How can you still jest in a situation like this?” Emeriel studied his amused expression, noting the underlying sadness that hadn’t been there before. Her heart sank. “What happened? Please don’t brush it off. I want to know.”
Lord Herod released a weary sigh. “I was stripped of my title as the lord of agriculture.”
“What?” Emeriel stumbled back. “Because… because of me?”
"Do not beat yourself up over it. It was my doing. I knew what I was getting into when I looked the grand king in the eyes, lied, and played such a grand game of deceit. I know the laws of our land." He gave a small, tired smile. "Frankly, I expected to spend a month or two in the Hole, or maybe years in the dungeon. If there had been a public trial, the punishment would have been severe. But as it stands, I only answered to the grand rulers, and instead of facing the humiliation of public punishment, I was allowed to resign. It’s a fair punishment."
“How can you say something like that?” Shaking her head miserably, Emeriel slumped onto the bed. “There is nothing fair about losing your title.”
He waved a dismissive hand, sitting beside her. "I lost the title, not my wealth. It's fine, I need the rest anyway."
He was downplaying it. Emeriel knew it hurt him more than he let on. He'd once told her that his work had kept him from going off the deep end after Vera's death. Lord Herod loved his work, his passion for it evident in every conversation they'd shared. Now, he had lost it because of her.
"I will plead with the grand king. I will—"
"You will do no such thing. Please, stop worrying about this. Look at me, Emeriel." The high lord turned serious. "I'm a full-grown male, not a youngling. I knew what I was getting into. I knew there was a possibility that something like this might happen, but I still did it anyway. And I don't regret protecting you the best way I knew how. If it happened again tomorrow, I would do it all over again without a second thought. And you will not make an appeal to your beloved on my behalf. Do you understand?”
Emeriel looked away in guilt.
“I'm being honest with you. Are you listening?"
She nodded.
"We are all beasts. Without order and a strict hand, there would be chaos. If our people ever perceive weakness in the enforcement of our laws, there would be a revolution. Some of these rules, set in stone, are essential. And when one breaks them, one must be punished," he said. "The rulers do not jest with rules and punishment. Being the Soulbond of the grand king is what stood between you and punishment, Emeriel. The bond might be difficult for Daemonikai to accept, but it does not change the fact that he's standing before you like a protective cloak. And for that, no punishment will cross your path."
Emeriel took in his words. She had never thought of it that way. The events in the arena that day suddenly made more sense. King Daemonikai had stood before her like a protective shield, he'd sheltered her from the wrath of the crowd.
"It must drive Lord Zaiper crazy," she blurted out.
The seriousness dissolved from Lord Herod's face, and he snorted. "Of course. The second ruler is still fuming, even back in court. But Ottai and Vladya are standing firm with the grand king, and so are most of the high lords. So, do not bring this up with him, not for my sake."
Emeriel’s face fell. "I feel really bad, My Lord. I really wish I could do something to help."
His smiled. "You might still be of help. Just wait until your male is wrapped around your fingers, then you can put in a request for me, alright?"
She tried to picture the grand king, Daemonikai, being wrapped around her fingers . Too far-fetched. "It’s not possible."
"Oh, it’s very possible, dear Em," Herod said with a chuckle. "Every bondmate eventually has their male wrapped around their fingers. It might take time, yes, but it will happen. He will be yours. Live for you, protect you, and heal for you. All he needs is time."
"Do you really think time is enough? His scars… they run so deep." Emeriel swallowed hard, her gaze drifting away. "I have seen the threads of it, shards of glass embedded in his shattered heart. It’s like an endless abyss, and even I can’t see the bottom.”
She looked at her hands. “He attacked me twice during heat."
Lord Herod's smile faded, replaced by concern.
"I used to think his beast really liked me, even if the male… well, didn’t. But now, I’m not so sure. His eyes glowed yellow both times. Even the night he confronted me.”
The high lord looked sad. “As much as it seems like our beast is a separate entity that lives within us, we are still one with our beasts, Emeriel.” The high lord looked sad. “You and the beast got along so well because he was mindless. Back then, it followed instincts alone, loving and protecting you as its mate. But now, awareness has returned, and some instincts overshadow others. Like the ingrained need to kill humans."
Emeriel looked up from her hands, to stare at him.
"The grand king is one with his beast. Whatever he feels, his beast feels too. They both lost their family, young one. That pain... it runs deep. It’s not just him lashing out, it’s both of them."
That made sense. “I guess I understand better now.”
"It will get better." Lord Herod spoke with conviction, covering her hands with one of his. "Have faith in yourself. Have faith in your bond. Now, let us put all that aside. Tell me how you are faring."
Mistress Sinai stood in the courtyard, staring out into the distance as the slaves toiled around her. They hurried past, murmuring greetings as they fell over themselves to get out of her way. She paid them no mind, still turning over in her head what she’d overheard earlier.
Emeriel is going to be set free. Emeriel is leaving Urai.
Sinai didn’t know how to feel about that. After Emeriel’s deceit had come to light, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she had fallen ill.
Bedridden. Sick as a dog.
Discovering Emeriel’s true identity had not been a shock. No, it was much more. It had uprooted Sinai's world.
To think that the boy she had watched with suspicion wasn’t just a boy, but Daemonikai’s Soulbond … it had struck her like a poisoned arrow straight to her chest.
For three agonizing days, she had lain in bed, beating herself up for it. Blaming herself for not acting sooner, for not trusting her instincts.
She had been too scared of the Hole to kill the boy when she’d had the chance. Emeriel would have been dead long before the revelation came out.
Soulbond.
The word, as always, slashed through her gut like a burning, spiked whip. Sinai's body might have recovered from the sickness, but her mind was yet to recover from that revelation. What a joke.
And Daemonikai?
He had not even thought to check on her. He must have heard she was ill, but he was too wrapped up in his own problems to care. That hurt. So, she had paid him a visit, only to overhear his conversation with Vladya.
Should she be happy that Emeriel was leaving? Probably.
But was she?
No.
"Don’t think I don’t know Emeriel calms you down, soothes your soul, takes the pain and grief away. I watched you two for months when you were still feral. Don’t think I do not know that girl is like a healing balm for you."
Sinai clenched her jaw so hard it was a wonder she did not crack a tooth. Her fists ached from clenching them too hard.
It was not fair. It simply was not fair.
How had that rotten human come out of nowhere and stolen her male?
Sinai didn’t want Emeriel to leave Urai, she wanted her dead . Erased from existence. Her chapter closed forever.
She had asked Nora to keep an eye on Emeriel after the events in the arena, to summon Emeriel as soon as Nora caught sight of her. However, Nora had reported that the grand king had posted soldiers outside Emeriel’s door, and they wouldn’t let anyone get close. Since then, access to the girl had been nearly impossible.
But that was fine. Once Sinai had pushed past the blinding rage and the violent urge to beat Emeriel into a pulp, she had begun to carefully plot her next move.
She had purchased what she needed. Poison. One that killed quickly and left no trace.
People like Emeriel, who steal what doesn’t belong to them, did not deserve a quick and painless death, and it infuriated her that the girl would receive such mercy, but Sinai did not want the poison traced back to her. She would make do with what she had.
Whirling around, she began to walk back to her chambers. "Leaving Urai, Emeriel?" Sinai's lips curled. "The only satisfying way you leave this kingdom, is lifeless. And I will make sure of that.