Chapter 9
Chapter nine
Aflash of bluish-green, and I opened my eyes to darkness and screaming, which wasn't at all uncommon for me.
I sat up, realizing that I was laying upon a bed, an actual bed, and not the stone floor of my prison cell.
I looked around the room, hearing my melody so loud as it reached out for and ached to be with its soul-song.
I closed my eyes, reaching out with my soul toward Emma.
She was still dreaming.
If you are still standing, that means you haven’t lost yet, I whispered toward her.
Her worries and fears flowed into me in a pleasant way.
My connection to her was getting harder and harder to handle because of the physical distance between us.
It was a good thing that later that morning I would be at Oak High, myself.
I didn’t think I could handle another day of not seeing her; the pull was so strong.
I flung the covers back from my body and stood there for a moment in the still morning.
I walked to my closet, aware that most people on Earth did not dress as formally as Terrans.
I couldn't recall, exactly, what it was about a suit and tie that made me feel so in control. Maybe it was the fact that I had never worn finery before my time away from Terra. It was refreshing to say the least. I pulled on my clothes while looking out of the large window into the forest. The sun finally broke through the tops of the trees as I finished tying my tie. I watched, frozen, as the warm light spilled on top of the entire world like ancient magic. I didn't think I could ever become bored with such a display. I had never seen a sunrise, nor a sunfall, before arriving on earth, had never seen how a day grew from light to dark; it was truly magnificent. The prison cell where I had spent most of my life was beneath the palace; there were no windows, no fresh air, and no real signs of life, other than my own breathing, for company. When I entered Earth, I was amazed at the beauty I had missed for the entirety of my life. I walked to my dresser and pulled out my camera. The ability to freeze a moment in time, almost as if I could literally hold that moment in my grasp? Yes, it was only printed on paper, and no melody was there to share the emotions with me, or to tell me the story. However, there was so much that a picture, a photograph, could share without any use of melodies or words. It was so incredibly powerful to me. I snapped a few shots; I had hundreds of pictures of days’ beginnings and days’ endings and plenty in between.
I clicked the camera off and walked down the stairs to see the status of the soulless still in my care.
“One more down,” Aiden said as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of milk. I downed it and looked over at him.
“One more to bury?”
He nodded.
“Well, I dug a few extra graves, so let's take care of it before school.”
Aiden nodded, bowed, and went down the stairs. I sat on the couch, looking at my hands. They shook as my melody swirled around me.
Sometimes, talking about this stuff out loud makes it sound way too impossible. Emma’s melody called to my own. I smiled and responded back to her.
It’s not impossible.
She chuckled before being surprised and worried about my responses to her. I frowned as she wondered if I was Shad speaking to her.
Maybe, I need to tell someone. She couldn’t tell anyone; that would have ruined my plan.
Please don’t, I said softly into her soul, waiting for her response.
She thought about how she was possibly going crazy; then she answered her aunt, who had been speaking with her.
You are not losing your mind, I said with a laugh, trying to pull her back to talk with me. She was adorable, and I needed to be closer to her, and soon.
This is Shad, right? she asked, clearly afraid of my answer.
I didn’t reply, unsure how to respond.
I still wasn't certain that I would ever get used to that feeling of having so many emotions alive inside of myself.
I had had emotions when I was very young, or at least, I believed I did, but then–as I thought that thought, I realized that I actually had no idea about what being a human really meant.
I started to regret everything, and I found myself double and triple checking things.
I shed a few tears on the grave as I buried the dead soulless, thinking about how horrible death was.
I realized that I needed to gain control of my melody, control of myself.
Showing such weakness wasn't okay. How had Shad been able to go through life without bursting into tears or convulsing within all the emotions?
It had to have been easier for him, having had a melody for the entirety of his life.
He must be able to handle it better, I thought.
Gradually growing into those emotions seemed a better way to grasp the sensitivities of a new soul, but I didn't have the luxury of waiting, of going slow, so emotions and feelings and desires continued to fire at me without warning.
Aiden walked up the steps, nodding to me.
I turned and walked back down them without a word.
The basement was still dark; I assumed that Kara, the only other soulless there, other than Aiden, was fast asleep.
I saw the body wrapped in a blanket and tied as always, and I motioned for Aiden to take the feet as I took the shoulders and head.
We walked out the back door and down a trail until it ended.
There, spread out for what seemed to be a mile, were graves.
All unmarked. All were my people—dead. One part of me knew that it was best, it was best that they would never hand over their souls over to the corruptor, and that it was their fault for being on the wrong side of the war in the first place.
But another part of me, the part that I thanked the melody for, clenched its teeth and tried to hold back the tears because of so many lives lost.
Could it all have been prevented? Could there be a better way? I wasn't sure. My melody was blurring all of the lines of morality that I had set for myself and all of the plans I had carefully constructed.
“This is Peters; he was from Sorra,” Aiden said as we swung the body into the grave and started piling on the dirt. It took about fifty shovels full of dirt from both me and Aiden before the job would be complete. I counted, trying to numb myself from the emotions swirling inside me.
“The Sorra? That is rare. I have rarely stumbled upon a Sorran in my life, only you, actually.” And that useless Ten, who I hoped had already died.
“That is what he said. Although near the end, he wasn't making much sense.”
I looked at Aiden and wondered how much longer he, and his friend, Kara, had.
I wondered what he had done to corrupt his own soul.
I could not remember taking his soul, which only meant that he must have been from one of the larger groups of corrupt.
When the graves were covered, our dead Terran buried in the earth, we set our shovels down outside the door.
“Do you want a ride to school today?” I asked as we walked up the steps to the main living area.
“Sure,” Aiden shrugged as he pulled on his backpack.
I walked to the bathroom and washed my hands.
I looked up at myself in the mirror. My nose had indeed healed rather nicely.
As I looked at myself, I thought, I could very well pass for my brother.
What a good thing that would be to get Emma close to me, although, hopefully, not so close that it would upset her too much.
It would be a shame if she punched me in my nose and caused the crookedness to again own my face.
I smiled, for even though it would hurt, Emma had a fire in her that I so longed to see unleashed, and even if my nose was a casualty of her wrath, I was in.