Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Jason knew his ploy wasn’t subtle. But he wanted a chance to be alone with Leah, even briefly. When they were behind closed doors, he spoke in a low voice. “I’m sorry about the wedding, Leah. More than you know. I needed to say that.”
She leaned against the sink and cocked her head. “You don’t owe me anything, Jason. Cate is fine. I’m fine. But I do have a few questions about Gabby.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t think you should toy with her emotions. She’s incredibly smart when it comes to numbers, but a guy like you could get inside her head. And her bed. She’s my friend , Jason. She had a very hard life growing up.”
He hunched his shoulders. “I understand that now. I didn’t when we were in college. All I knew then was that she was very shy.”
Leah shook her head. “I was the shy one. Gabby was something else again. If it hadn’t been for Cate, Gabby would have lived in a hermit bubble at UGA. Cate made her get out and meet people. Cate pushed her, and because Cate was incredibly popular and well-loved, other students let Gabby slide into the flow of sometimes cruel college social life.”
“But she’s so confident now.”
“Yes,” Leah said. “On the outside. She’s had to be at Grimes & Hancock. In a mostly male enclave, she’s developed this cool, poised, don’t-mess-with-me persona. It’s effective at work. She’s well-respected.”
“Isn’t that because she’s so good at what she does?”
“Of course. But you know as well as I do that women in the business world have to battle sexism, pay inequality, and sometimes outright harassment. Gabby learned how to stand up to her colleagues. Considering where she came from, it’s astonishing.”
“Then why do you think she has anything to fear from me?” Jason truly wanted to know. He had hurt Cate terribly. The experience dented his confidence. Not for anything in the world would he risk a repeat.
Leah pulled a key lime pie out of the fridge and began cutting it. “Hand me those plates, please.”
“Got it.” When he stood beside her, she scooped slices one at a time and set them on the four china saucers.
After she grabbed the whipped cream from the fridge along with forks and napkins, Leah gave him a pointed look. “Here’s the thing, Jason. You’re probably lonely and still recovering from what happened to you. So, getting intimate with Gabby might bring you healing and peace... I don’t know. But I do know that behind Gabby’s poised, I-can-handle-anything image, there are remnants of that little Blossom Branch girl who sometimes went to bed hungry.”
His heart dropped to his knees, though after the whole peanut butter story, he shouldn’t have been surprised. “Seriously?” he asked, wincing.
Leah nodded. “Over the years she’s told me little bits and pieces of what it was like for her. If I let myself think about it, it breaks my heart. You and I and Cate and a hundred other kids went to Blossom Branch Elementary, but her world was so very different from yours and mine. We all enjoyed summer vacations and scout trips and Christmas morning with grandparents. Gabby had none of that.”
“So what are you saying?” he asked, his fists clenched at his hips. “How am I supposed to know what to do in this situation?”
Leah picked up a duo of dessert plates. “Grab those two,” she said. “You take your cues from Gabby. The first moment you know you can’t see a future with her, be kind enough to cut her loose. Otherwise, you’ll have the pain of two wonderful women on your conscience.”
When Jason reclaimed his seat at the dining table, he felt Gabby’s eyes on him. But he couldn’t look at her. Not yet. Leah’s words sobered him.
Was he ready to be serious with a woman again? How did anybody know this soon in a new relationship? He liked Gabby. Clearly he had been attracted to her when they were in college. And recently in an Atlanta coffee shop that smelled of holidays and second chances, it was as if something had slammed into his chest.
He could chalk simple lust up to the fact that he’d been celibate for a very long time, since Peru in fact. But if that were the reason, wouldn’t he have been pursuing other women? Until Gabby, sex had been a physical need, but nothing more. Now, he couldn’t think of anything but having her. Binding her to him. Creating an intimacy she couldn’t deny.
She touched his knee under the table. When he glanced at her, startled, she lowered her voice. “You okay?” she asked. Lucas and Leah were squabbling over whether the pie was too tart or just right.
He swallowed. “I’m great.”
They had lingered over lunch an entire two hours. For Jason, the meal had been both absolution and pleasure. He liked Leah’s fiancé. Plus, having a chance to offer his apologies to Leah had loosened the knot in his chest.
Despite Leah’s protests, the other three adults helped clear the table and clean up the lunch debris. Jason was impressed with the updates Leah had done to her great aunt’s house. The kitchen was perfect. None of the classic lines had been erased. Leah had found appliances that functioned happily in the current footprint.
When everything was in good shape, Gabby hugged her friend. “This was so much fun. Thanks for inviting us.” She went up on her tiptoes and kissed Lucas’s cheek. “I know you’re taking good care of her. She smiles all the time.”
Lucas laughed. “I do what I can. Leah is the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t forget that.”
Leah pulled Gabby aside for a moment as the men went into the living room to see the new TV Lucas had installed.
Leah lowered her voice. “Why are you being so weird with Cate? She says you’ve hardly seen each other in ages. Every time the two of you set up a lunch date, you cancel at the last minute. What’s going on, Gabby? Is it because of Jason?”
“Of course not. He and I ran into each other only recently. No, it’s my fault, I guess. Work stuff crops up at the worst possible time. But I did see Cate when her store opened. Remember?”
Leah nodded, though her expression was skeptical. “I remember. But that was all of five minutes a year ago...and the opening day chaos meant she barely had time to talk to us. I don’t really think that counts. She’s worried she did something to upset you. Is that true, Gabby? Has Cate offended or angered you somehow?”
Guilt knotted in Gabby’s stomach. “Of course not. Don’t be silly.”
“Promise me you’ll talk to her,” Leah insisted. “Soon. Before she worries herself to death.”
“I’ll try,” Gabby said weakly, feeling the little white lie stick in her throat. How could she call Cate when she had no idea what to say?
Fortunately, the men returned to the foyer, saving Gabby from more uncomfortable conversation.
Jason offered his thanks as Gabby had, and soon they were out the door and on the road. He waited until Gabby fastened her seat belt. “Back to your mom’s now?”
She shook her head slowly. “Not yet. I want to show you something.”
There was an odd note in her voice he couldn’t decipher. “Sure,” he said. “Just tell me where to go.” She and Leah must have had a serious, though brief, conversation while Lucas showed him the massive new TV. Something about Gabby’s mood had changed.
She sent him on a winding journey—outside of town, like the route to her mother’s place, but in yet another direction. Finally they stopped at a small gravel parking lot. There were no buildings around.
“We’ll get out on foot from here,” she said.
Jason grabbed a coat and wool scarf. The sun had disappeared, making the brisk breeze icier and less friendly.
Gabby bundled up, too. “This way,” she said.
They were walking down a two-lane road that hadn’t been repaired in years by the look of it. Maybe it was no longer a maintained highway. On either side, barbed wire fencing bordered what looked to be empty fields.
Eventually they rounded a bend, and Gabby stopped. “This is it,” she said. “That trailer is where I lived as a little kid.”
If she was trying to shock him, it worked. The single-wide mobile home was overgrown with weeds and bushes. The front door stood open drunkenly. Much of the metal frame was rusted out.
He cleared his throat. “How long?” he asked. “How long before your mother moved to where she is now?”
Gabby shoved her hands in her pockets, her expression pensive. “I think I was in second or third grade. I know so little about the past when I was very young. She’s never been willing to talk about it. My guess is that her parents threw her out when she got pregnant. She and my dad must have lived here until his motorcycle accident. I’m sure the trailer was in better shape two decades ago. It’s been almost three now.”
“And how did she have the resources to move to her current home?”
“From what I’ve pieced together, a lawyer helped her pro bono. There were psychiatric exams. The state almost took me away from her. But the attorney found a social worker who agreed that my mother was competent enough to care for me. Between the two of them, they got her qualified for a government benefit. Those small monthly checks were enough to buy food and slowly purchase the house she’s in now. I suspect someone sold it to her below market value. The floors are uneven, and the Formica countertops in the kitchen are chipped. You’ve seen all that, I’m sure. It’s her safe space.”
“But you’d like her to be in Atlanta with you.”
Gabby nodded. “It’s selfish on my part. It would make my life much easier. I worry about her.”
“It’s possible you’re too close to the situation,” he said quietly. “You’ve been her guardian angel for so long. Maybe she has improved. Slowly. Slowly enough that it’s hard to see.”
His companion glared at him. “You spend one night at her house, and suddenly you’re an authority?”
It was a fair point, but his perspective had value. “Easy, Gabby. I’m not the enemy. I think it’s admirable that you want to move her to Atlanta. But from what I’ve seen in this brief time, she’s managing well. She’s in her forties, not her eighties. Sometimes people get better.”
Gabby rubbed her nose with a woolly glove. “It’s freezing out here,” she said. “Let’s go home.”
In the car, they stripped off their outerwear. Again, he saw the soft pale yellow sweater she wore. With her dark hair, it was a great color. She glowed.
“Tell me why you took me there,” he said.
She chewed the edge of her thumb. Her legs were curled beneath her. “I need you to know how different you and I are.”
“Why?”
She was quiet for so long, he thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then she exhaled. “We both feel a pull between us. You’ve apparently been punishing yourself with celibacy for the last year and a half. I’ve never been good with men, so celibacy is my default, too. It’s possible we may end up in bed together. Because we’re horny. Or lonely. Or some combination of both.”
His heart jumped. Other body parts twitched. “I see.”
“I’m not sure you do, Jason. What I’m trying to tell you is that sex is one thing, but there’s absolutely zero possibility I’ll confuse physical intimacy with a long-term relationship. You don’t have to worry about getting involved in a situation that you’ll have to walk away from. If anything happens, it will be mutual and temporary.”
“And that rusted-out trailer?”
“I wanted you to see the real me. If I get naked with you, I want to know you know me and choose me.”
He pulled over in the center of town and slid into a parking spot near the gazebo. “That’s ridiculous. You’re not a rusted-out trailer. You’re a sexy, talented, beautiful woman.”
“You know what I mean.”
He turned off the engine and turned sideways in his seat. “I don’t think I do. I’ll agree that we had very different childhoods. What does that have to do with now?”
She huffed. “You’re not even trying to understand.”
“Maybe we should communicate another way.” He slid his hands underneath the silky swing of her hair and cupped her slender neck in his hands. “I do want to know you, Gabriella. Starting right now.”
When he took her mouth, he was aware at some level that he hadn’t asked permission. Her lips carried the faint, sweet tang of limes and whipped cream when he kissed her and slid his tongue against hers. His sex pounded as Gabby’s lips clung to his. Her arms went around his neck. Beneath his fingertips, her skin was soft, so soft.
“I want you,” he said gruffly. “So much. But I need to know you want this, too.”
She pulled back and stared at him as if he were not making sense. “Can’t you tell?”
“Yes. But the words would be nice.”
Gabby rubbed her thumb along his stubbly jaw. “I would like to have sex with you, Jason Brightman. Soon and often. Just thinking about it puts me in a festive mood. How would you feel about a red bow on your—”
He put his hand over her mouth briefly. “Brat.” Resting his forehead against hers, he sighed. “I thought this was going to be another lonely, awful Christmas. Last year on the twenty-fifth, I was in a tiny mountain village in Switzerland. I swear everyone I met there was part of a couple, even the old people.”
“Poor baby.” She kissed him softly.
“You smell good,” he muttered. His brain raced to calculate logistics. They couldn’t make love in Dahlia’s house. And it was too cold for outdoor frolicking.
Gabby read his mind. “We can wait,” she said. “Anticipation is part of the fun, don’t you think?”
“I do not think.” He groaned. His body was one big ache. In fact, he couldn’t remember feeling so desperate.
She scooted away from him. As much as the confines of the front seat would allow. “Turn on the engine, please,” she said, giving him a wistful smile. “Let’s go to Mom’s. That’s why we came this weekend. The other stuff can wait until later.”
Gabby knew Jason was on edge. She was, too. Their conversation in the car might have clarified a few points, but it had also exposed and intensified the stinging need between them. Honestly, those feelings terrified her as much as they beckoned.
Fortunately, the mundane afternoon kept things on an even keel. She found herself frustrated, though, when her mother let Jason do chores that Gabby had been offering to take care of for months.
First he put new bulbs in the burned-out floodlights on the four corners of the house. Then he ran to the home improvement store, bought two pieces of lumber, and came back to replace rotten wood around one of the soffits.
Gabby stood inside with her mother and watched him work.
“Mama,” Gabby said, trying not to reveal her impatience. “I’ve told you for months I can do jobs around the house. In fact, I could have already done any of this stuff Jason is doing for you today.”
Dahlia smiled and patted her arm. “I didn’t want you to, sweetheart. You’re so little. I’d hate for you to get hurt.”
“I’m five-foot-ten. Not little at all.”
“I mean your body. Men are much more suited to this kind of work. Look how fast Jason gets things done. He’s a lovely boy. So polite and helpful.”
Gabby fell silent, knowing she had lost the battle. Her mother ascribed to a worldview where gender roles were clearly spelled out. Despite understanding that, it hurt Gabby to know her mother didn’t trust her to tackle certain tasks. And to be honest, she was surprised her mother had warmed so quickly to Jason.
As a rule, Dahlia was guarded around new people. She didn’t trust easily. With Jason, she acted as if he had been part of their lives forever.
By five thirty, it was too dark for Jason to do anything else outside. When he came in to warm up, Gabby whispered an apology. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I only meant for you to help with the Christmas tree. I can’t believe she asked you to do all that other stuff.”
He rubbed his hands together as he stood in front of the fire. “I offered, Gabby. It’s fine. In fact, I like the physical labor. That’s part of the reason my fixer-upper house is so much fun. Hard work can be its own reward.”
She rested her head briefly on his shoulder. He smelled of cold air and fresh lumber and a masculine scent that was uniquely his. “Thank you for helping her,” she said.
He kissed her cheek, a quick, circumspect caress. “You’re welcome.”
This was not what either of them wanted. A chaperoned evening with no intimacy in sight. Even so, she offered him the truth. “I’m glad you’re here this weekend.”
“Me, too,” he said.
Dahlia fixed spaghetti and meatballs for dinner along with store-bought rolls. Gabby threw a salad together in a nod to healthy eating.
Jason was visibly enthusiastic as he plowed through two enormous helpings. “This is fabulous, Dahlia,” he said. “Really, really good.”
She beamed. “I’m glad you like it. I rarely cook just for me. It’s too much trouble. But feeding a man with a healthy appetite is fun.”
He chuckled. “You can feed me anytime.”
Gabby couldn’t help rolling her eyes, though she doubted either of her tablemates noticed. They were too involved in their mutual admiration society.
Jason grinned at Gabby’s mother. “You know, Dahlia, someone else who I’m sure would enjoy a home-cooked meal is the guy I met at the Christmas tree lot. Dave Langford? You seemed unsure about going out with him. But why not invite him here? He can see his tree all decorated, and you can feed him.”
Dahlia’s face went pink, and her gaze brightened. “Oh, I don’t think so,” she said, her fingers fluttering as she moved the salt and pepper shakers first one way and then the other. “He’s very sophisticated. Plus, I’m no good on the phone. My tongue gets tangled up, and I never know what to say.”
Jason chuckled. “He was wearing overalls and a cotton shirt last night. Doesn’t seem so sophisticated. Besides, from what I observed at his tree lot, everyone in town likes and respects him.”
Gabby scowled. “Butt out, Jason. This isn’t a subject that concerns you.”
Her mother patted Jason’s hand. “Don’t mind my sweet daughter. She’s always been a little prissy.”
“Mama!” Gabby was torn between embarrassment and hurt. Prissy? Was that how other people saw her?
Jason shot her an apologetic smile but didn’t put a stop to the conversation. “You’re young and beautiful, Dahlia. It’s natural for some man to notice and want to snap you up. Have you ever thought about dating again?”
Gabby stared at her mother as a stranger would and realized that Jason’s words were true. Her mother was beautiful. A hard life had added extra years to her face, but Dahlia Nolan was attractive. Her air of vulnerability would appeal to many men. Dave was obviously one of those.
Still, Dahlia might not have the ability to interact confidently with a man.
Apparently her mother had the same thoughts.
Dahlia smiled wistfully at Jason. “I’m sure my daughter has told you about the past. To be honest, I’ve never dated. Gabby’s father and I were children playing at being grown-ups. When he was ki—” She paused, took a deep breath, and continued. “When he died, that was it for me. My only focus was little Gabriella.”
“But she’s turned into a successful woman. You cared for her and nurtured her. Isn’t it time for you to have a fulfilling life?”
“I don’t know if I have the courage to call Dave.”
Gabby inserted herself. “Do you want to, Mama?”
The small kitchen fell silent. It was startling when the ice maker made a loud clunking noise.
Her mother stared at her, then at Jason. “I think I do.” She clapped both hands over her mouth. “I can’t believe I said that.”
Jason squeezed her hand, smiling. “Gabby and I could drive you out to the tree lot tomorrow. That way you can sleep on it—be sure it’s what you want to do—and you’d be able extend your invitation in person, not on the phone.”
Gabby was as nervous as her mother. This idea was nice in theory, but the ramifications could be huge. And possibly negative.
“Jason,” she said.
Dahlia interrupted, her gaze on Jason’s face. “You’re a man.” She wrinkled her nose and wrung her hands. “Be absolutely honest. This is the twenty-first century. Will he be expecting intercourse on a first date?”
Jason was obviously flustered and rattled. But to his credit, he answered gently. “Sex is a part of most adult relationships. But usually not on the first date, and not if you don’t want that kind of intimacy so soon. I imagine Dave expects to enjoy your company. That’s it. If the relationship continues after one date, you can decide if you want to talk about anything more personal. Communication is the key.” He stopped, chagrinned. “Although I sure as hell didn’t take my own advice with Cate.” He included Gabby in his gaze. “If I had communicated more honestly, we could have avoided the disaster that was our wedding.”
“I know you’re right,” Dahlia said. “Dave is a nice man, and I’ve known him one way or another for at least a decade.”
Gabby frowned. “He looks older than you. Has he ever been married?”
“I think so. A long time ago. Somebody told me his wife died. So maybe we have that in common.”
It was a dark connection. Gabby sighed. “You don’t have to rush into anything, Mama. But I’ll support you in whatever you want to do.”
Dahlia beamed. Her face was still flushed with excitement. “I’ll think about it overnight. We’ll see how it looks in the morning.”