Chapter 11
Chapter 11
On Monday morning, Gabby Nolan was late to work for the first time in her life.
Only twenty minutes, but still...
A million questions had whirled through her head for hours. When she finally fell into a deep sleep sometime around four, her alarm was set to wake her a bare two hours later. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to take care of this no-sleep hangover.
Her assistant, Jamie, was visibly worried when Gabby arrived.
“Are you okay, Ms. Nolan?” she asked. “There’s a lot of flu going around. You’re a little pale.”
Gabby dredged up a smile. “I’m fine, I promise. Just a sleepless night. I had a lot on my mind.”
Jamie, who was working as a paid intern during her senior year in college, followed Gabby into the larger office at the back. “I can grab you a coffee from that shop you like. Or I have a Starbucks coupon. It’s closer, and the Christmas cups are super cute.”
“Thanks, Jamie. But I’m fine. Have you typed up the notes from Friday’s meeting? I need to look over them first thing.”
“Yes, ma’am. They’re done. I’ll grab them in half a sec.” She paused and lowered her voice, her tone conspiratorial. “My mother always gets stressed at the holidays. She says men don’t appreciate how much work goes into wrapping and buying gifts. Plus, you have to decide what to get everybody to start with. I’m not surprised you had trouble sleeping. It’s a busy time of year. And this place has a little too much testosterone, don’t you think?” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Yikes. That’s one of those things I can’t say out loud, right?”
Gabby didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Compared to this fresh-faced twenty-year-old, she felt ancient. “It’s fine between you and me, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it. The best thing you can learn here at Grimes & Hancock is the art of discretion.”
Jamie nodded vigorously. “Message received.”
When the younger woman walked away, presumably to get the requested notes document, Gabby sank into her desk chair. This office had become a haven over the last few years. Numbers were comforting to her. They never changed. Any hiccups could always be tracked down with patience and determination.
She was good at her job.
Even on the days when work was demanding and hectic, she knew she could handle things. That calm certainty was askew today, not because of any crisis at G&H, but because her full attention was not going to be on her work.
Jamie popped back in. “Here’s the report,” she said. “And this envelope was on my desk when I came in at eight forty-five. Your office was still locked.”
“Thank you. Will you close my door on your way out? I need a quiet hour before my eleven o’clock meeting with Mrs. Grant.”
Jamie shuddered dramatically. “That old lady scares me.”
“I’ll admit she’s intimidating, but her bark is worse than her bite. I need to be completely prepared when she arrives.”
“Got it.”
“Thanks, Jamie.”
When she was finally alone, Gabby rested her elbows on her desk and put her head in her hands. She felt muzzy and achy and irritable. All because of a gorgeous man with Aegean blue eyes and a wicked smile.
She picked up the small white envelope and opened it. Her name was scrawled in black ink on the front. The single sheet of paper inside was folded once.
Good morning, Gabby. I didn’t think you would appreciate flowers at work, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you. In lieu of a floral bouquet, this note is good for one free Christmas tree expedition. I’ll help select, transport, erect, and decorate the lucky evergreen of your choice—filling your apartment with holiday cheer. Just say the word. Talk to you soon...
Jason
Her heart pounded as if he was standing in the room with her. Gah , this was impossible. She was so far out of her comfort zone, she couldn’t even see level ground. The only way to survive was to focus on work and pretend that everything in her life was normal.
Pretending was exhausting. Or maybe it was her sleepless night. Either way, she was running on fumes by the time she finally left work and headed for home.
She didn’t want to cook, but she had skipped lunch. Without going to the store, her only choices were spaghetti or frozen leftovers from Thanksgiving. She chose the unappealing turkey dinner. After a quick nuke in the microwave, it wasn’t half bad.
Despite her no-sleep hangover, it was maybe a good thing she had an obligation this evening. That way she wouldn’t sit around thinking about Jason like some lovesick middle school girl. She had promised Tanya, who lived in the building next door, to put the twins to bed. Tanya was headed out to do her Christmas shopping.
When Gabby entered her friend’s loud, cluttered, cheerful apartment, she had to smile. The boys, Bo and Benji, were three and a half. They ran to her, shrieking, and almost knocked her down.
Tanya winced. “Sorry about that. I’ve bathed and fed them. There’s a movie in the Blu-ray player and a stack of books on the counter over there. Call me if anything is burning down, and I’ll be back in a flash.”
Gabby grinned. “We’ll be fine. Enjoy the evening. Don’t rush. I always have a blast with your babies.”
“You’re an angel,” Tanya said fervently. “I’ll be back by ten.”
“No worries.” Gabby waved her out the door.
The next two hours were intense, hilarious, and demanding. The twins went ninety miles an hour until they literally collapsed in their room at nine o’clock. The two single beds were shaped like NASCAR vehicles. When she tucked them in, their cherubic faces and relaxed bodies belied the whirlwind they had dragged her through.
She sat on the carpet between the two low beds and watched them sleep.
Nothing could be sweeter or more appealing than a small child at rest.
Her heart ached with love for them. She and Tanya had met each other when Bo and Benji were only six months old. Tanya’s husband had decided fatherhood wasn’t for him and had walked away, never to return.
Gabby couldn’t understand leaving your own flesh and blood. Her own mother could have given Gabby up for adoption, but despite Dahlia’s grief and turmoil and mental state, she had carried out her role as mother.
Would Gabby ever have a chance to create a family? It seemed like a far-fetched dream at best. Unless she went the sperm donor route, she would need a man in her life. A husband, to be exact. Other people were entitled to their choices, but Gabby didn’t want a child without a spouse.
Unfortunately, Jason wasn’t a candidate.
She needed to find a man who understood how hard it was to come from nothing and always feel the specter of failure at your back. She needed a partner who knew what it was like to struggle financially. To live paycheck to paycheck.
Thankfully, she was long past that now, but her childhood years had marked her. She was frugal, financially conservative, and always planning for future disasters. There wasn’t an ounce of go-with-the-flow in her entire body.
When she was sure the boys weren’t going to stir, she got up and wiggled her leg, which had fallen asleep. Before she left the room, she kissed their rosy cheeks. Tanya’s life was hard, but she had something far more important than money.
In the living room, Gabby curled up on the sofa and turned on the TV. After muting the sound, she surfed channels until she found an old movie. Then she picked up her phone to glance at emails.
But it was the text icon that caught her eye. Jason had sent her three texts in the last hour. It was no wonder she hadn’t seen them. Wrangling two toddlers was a full-time task.
Smiling, she opened the texts...
Hope you’ve had a good day. Are you “thinking” about things?
When she hadn’t answered, Jason continued...
Hello? Anybody home? I miss you.
And finally...
You must be tied up. Maybe we can talk tomorrow. Good night, Gabby...
She glanced at the time. Still early. Calling Jason wouldn’t be out of line. But what would she say? Part of her wanted to wallow in great sex until things cooled down or burned out. If she did that, though, Jason would expect her to be his date next Saturday night.
Almost subconsciously, her brain had been picking at a painful problem. If she went to the gala with Jason, she would undoubtedly see Cate. Her stomach tensed. For the last year and a half, she had made excuses not to see her friend. Because she was a coward. It was as simple as that.
She owed Cate an explanation. If Gabby was going to attend the gala with Jason—and she did want to attend, no matter what she’d told him—she had to see Cate this week. It was far past time. Not only did she have to come clean about her guilty secret, but it was wrong to keep her distance from the woman who had done so very much for Gabby.
But first, how to answer these texts?
After a few moments of mental wrangling, she tapped out a response...
Thanks for your note this morning. Sorry—crazy busy day. And I’m babysitting tonight. Maybe we can talk tomorrow. Sleep well...
She shoved her phone in her purse to escape temptation. If she called Jason and asked him to come over, she was ninety-nine percent sure he would show up at her door in a heartbeat. He would be fun and entertaining and great in bed, but they would be breaking the agreement to think about their relationship. Five days. Time apart. Deciding what they really wanted from each other.
Minutes later, the movie palled. She grabbed her phone again. Before she could chicken out, she sent a text to Cate...
Any chance you’re free for lunch tomorrow? Work and life in general have been super busy, but I would love to spend some time with you.
She hit Send and felt lightheaded with a combination of relief and dread.
Cate’s response was almost instant...
Of course!!! Just tell me where and when!!
By the time they settled on a place and time, Gabby heard Tanya’s key in the door. The mother of two was loaded down with packages as she came in. Gabby hurried to help her. “Looks like Santa was successful.”
Tanya yawned and nodded, collapsing into an armchair. “I did ninety percent of my shopping in two hours. Blitzkrieg. Effective, but exhausting. How were the boys?”
“Angels, as always.”
Tanya chuckled. “Right.” She smiled at Gabby. “You’re a lifesaver. You know that, don’t you?”
Gabby shook her head. “It’s a treat for me, I promise. Can I help you with anything before I go?”
“Thanks, but no. I’m going to stuff all this in the guest room closet and worry about it later. Go home and get some sleep. You look as tired as I am.”
“Yeah. My bed is calling. Good night.” They hugged, and Gabby was out the door.
All around the complex, Christmas lights gleamed. She felt a little Scrooge-ish about her dark apartment. But when she came home every night—often late—there was little inclination to decorate. It was enough to enjoy her neighbors’ efforts.
By the time she had showered and put on her pajamas, her eyes were heavy. At least last night’s bout of insomnia meant she was going to crash hard.
As she snuggled under the covers, it was impossible not to remember Jason’s presence in her bed Sunday evening. She shivered, telling herself his masculine scent hadn’t lingered on the pillowcases.
When she closed her eyes, the next four days felt far too long.
Tuesday was not much better than Monday at the office. At this rate, she would lose her job if she didn’t get her personal life under control.
Though she hadn’t told Cate, Gabby was taking the afternoon off. Lunch would only last an hour and a half at the most. But today’s conversation wouldn’t be easy. Gabby wasn’t sure she could handle going back to the office if she was an emotional wreck.
The restaurant she had chosen was off the beaten path. It was more homey than elegant. One selling point was the high-backed booths that offered a modicum of privacy. She could have invited Cate to her apartment, but that might have raised questions.
So the Downtown Diner it was.
Gabby deliberately arrived ten minutes early. Cate was always prompt.
When her blonde, blue-eyed friend walked through the door, she was as gorgeous as ever. Cate was that rare woman who didn’t see her own exceptional beauty. She was compassionate, kind, and during college had literally changed Leah’s and Gabby’s lives.
Leah’s debilitating shyness and Gabby’s extremely impoverished upbringing had put them at a disadvantage. Cate drew them into her social circle, made sure they were part of her sorority, and generally kept them under her wing until they found the confidence to tackle college life on their own.
The fact that Cate was an actual beauty queen was only more icing on the cake. As a teenager, she had been voted Miss Georgia Peach Blossom four years in a row. No other candidate had matched that record before or since.
Now here she was, her smile broad and her arms outstretched. “Gabby. Thank goodness you called. I thought you were mad at me, but I didn’t know why.”
Cate’s hug was almost uncomfortably tight. Gabby returned the embrace with her eyes stinging. This mini-estrangement was all on her. Poor Cate was oblivious.
“Let’s sit down,” Gabby said. “They’ve saved that back booth for us.”
The two of them ordered right away. The menu was familiar, and they both were hungry.
Then Cate leaned forward. “I’m so, so glad you’re free today. I know we’ve had three or four lunch dates scheduled, but you’ve been so busy at work you had to cancel every time. I’ve missed you, Gabby.”
The guilt stabbed deeper.
Before she could respond, the server brought drinks and a breadbasket. Finally they were alone. “I’m sorry,” Gabby said. “I haven’t been a very good friend.”
“Oh, pooh,” Cate said. “That’s not what I meant. I couldn’t love you any more if you were my own sister. I know you came to my shop opening in Blossom Branch, but that was forever ago. Are you doing okay, honey? How’s your mom?”
“My mother is great. I’m good, too.”
“But?”
Before Gabby could answer, their food arrived. Honestly, looking at the plate made her stomach cramp. She wouldn’t be able to eat a bite until she said what she had to say. She set her fork down and took a sip of iced tea.
She stared at her friend. “I’m just going to say it. Get it off my chest.”
Cate’s expression reflected her confusion. “Okay.”
Gabby sucked in a lungful of air, feeling dizzy and faint. “I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid at your wedding.”
Cate paled. “I see.” She bit her lip. “I wondered if you resented how expensive the bridesmaid dresses were, and then it was all for nothing. I even mentioned it to Leah when you started acting strangely. I’m sorry. I should have been more sensitive.”
Gabby shook her head. “It didn’t have anything to do with money.”
“Then what? Was it having to stand up in front of twelve hundred guests? I know that was kind of terrifying.”
“It was daunting, but no.”
Cate reached across the table and tried to take Gabby’s hand, but Gabby moved back in her seat. Here was a woman who had literally changed Gabby’s life, but Gabby had done the unthinkable.
Now Cate was paler still. Her eyes were dark. “You’re scaring me, Gabby. What did I do to make you so upset?”
“You didn’t do anything ,” Gabby cried. “It was me.”
“I’ll need more than that.” Cate straightened her spine and glared. “I can’t imagine you doing anything so terrible. Talk to me, Gabby. What’s going on?”
Gabby was literally shaking. She’d spent a year and a half wrestling with this truth. The time had come to cleanse her soul. To make amends, if that was even possible.
She shredded her paper napkin and took another sip of tea. “When we were at UGA, I had a crush on Jason. You can understand that, obviously. He was gorgeous and friendly and good at everything. An incredible athlete. It was my little secret. But when you and he started dating, the crush died. Or I killed it. Whatever. The point is, you were engaged to Jason, and I was happy for you.”
“I didn’t know about your crush,” Cate said, her face troubled. “You should have told me. There were plenty of guys I could have gone out with. I didn’t have to hurt you.”
“Stop,” Gabby begged. “You were wonderful—you did everything—you changed my life. You deserved Jason. I knew that. Honestly, I did.”
Cate simply stared. “You’ve lost me,” she said, the words flat.
Gabby swallowed hard and braced for the final, worst confession. “When Jason called a halt to the wedding—at the altar—and then you ran out of the church, I was relieved . Maybe even happy. I’m so sorry, Cate. What kind of friend reacts like that? Later, I wondered if the way everything imploded was somehow my fault. If I’d created bad mojo...”
“Gabby—”
Gabby interrupted her. “Oh, God, Cate. I am so desperately sorry. I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope someday you can forgive me.”
For several long moments, their booth was an island of silence in the bustle of the restaurant. Gabby looked down at her plate.
She was startled when Cate stood and came to sit with her. Even as Gabby stiffened, Cate put her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “There’s nothing to forgive, sweet girl. Clearly, Jason and I were not meant to be. Deep down, I knew it, too, but the wedding had strangled me into submission. I was too much of a coward to call it off. I desperately wish Jason had done it sooner, but at least he had the balls to prevent a disaster.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, nothing.” Cate took Gabby’s face in her hands. “I need you to hear me. You didn’t do anything wrong. We can’t help our feelings. You didn’t betray me or our friendship. I love you, Gabby. You’re one of my dearest friends. That’s never going to change.”
Gabby stared at her. “You aren’t mad?”
“Of course not.”
Cate’s simple forgiveness was like icy-cold water on a hot Georgia summer day. It made everything better. “Thank you,” Gabby muttered, leaning her head on Cate’s shoulder. “This has been a terrible year and a half.”
Cate smirked. “Not so bad for me, at least not after the first few months. Harry changed everything. I’m a lucky woman.” She stroked Gabby’s hair. “Now, let’s put this behind us and quit being silly.”
When Cate returned to her own side of the table, Gabby picked up her fork. “Even though I felt what I felt, I was furious with Jason for hurting you so badly.”
“He and I and Harry have made peace about what happened.”
“Really?” Gabby hadn’t gotten that impression from Jason at all.
Cate scrunched up her nose. “Well, Harry and I have tried. I know it’s weird. The two of them have been best friends for years.”
“Maybe Jason wants to mend fences but doesn’t know how.” Gabby wasn’t about to tell Cate about everything that had happened in December. The weekend with Jason in Blossom Branch was on a need-to-know basis.
“I was hoping the passage of time would ease the awkwardness between the three of us,” Cate said, “but that hasn’t happened.”
“Well, to be fair, you’ve slept with both men, so that was always going to be a little strange.”
Cate flushed. “You think I don’t know that? I screwed up big-time. Jason did, too. We almost ruined our lives. Both of us would have tried to hold the marriage together. That’s the kind of people we are. But it would have been misery eventually. When it’s not right, it’s not right.”
“That’s why I’m probably going to be single forever. My job. My mom. Friends like you and Leah. Who needs a man anyway?”
Cate leaned back in her chair and smiled. “Clearly you haven’t found the perfect guy yet. Harry makes me happier than I ever knew I could be.”
“Well, you do have a lot in common.”
Cate looked puzzled. “Do we? He’s ten years older than I am. He’s a recluse. He bottles up his feelings. I think he and I are a case of opposites attract .”
“But you both come from wealthy backgrounds. Similar worlds.”
“I suppose.” Cate shook her head slowly. “By that measure, Jason and I should have been a perfect match. We weren’t, though. We equated friendship and affection with love and marriage. The consequences were almost disastrous.” She paused and stared at Gabby intently. “Don’t let what happened to me prejudice you against falling in love. It’s not always as complicated as Jason and I made it. And besides...”
“Besides what?”
“Aren’t we ignoring the critical part of your so-called confession?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You told me that you once had a crush on Jason, but it died . Yet when he called off the wedding, you were relieved. Shouldn’t we talk about that?”
“Oh, no,” Gabby said firmly. “I’ve run into Jason a time or two. And yes, he’s so gorgeous he makes my knees weak. Kind of like seeing a movie star. But that’s the stuff of fantasy. I’m a grown woman now. I don’t have a crush on him.”
Cate cocked her head. “Then why were you relieved?”
Gabby waved a hand at the waiter to get their check. “Who knows? The point is, I’ve confessed, you’ve forgiven me, and maybe now I’ll be able to get in the Christmas spirit. Keeping that awful secret has been eating away at me.”
“So you won’t avoid me anymore?”
“No, I promise.”
Cate cocked her head again and stared at Gabby. “What would you think about a double date? Harry and I could go out with you and Jason. I’ll set it up. Maybe we could get tickets to one of the Christmas concert series events at the Fox Theatre. Have dinner before. That would be fun.”
Gabby’s mouth dried. How had she forgotten that one of Cate’s superpowers was making things happen? But Gabby couldn’t overreact. If she did, Cate would dig in her heels. Or else know something was up.
“That’s really sweet of you,” Gabby said. “But I’m slammed at work right now with end-of-the-year stuff. I’m toast when I get home in the evenings. Maybe January when things slow down.”
What Cate didn’t know was that she and Gabby would see each other at the gala if Gabby agreed to go as Jason’s date. Suddenly, she realized she was keeping a secret from Cate again . She badly wanted to talk about her feelings for Jason, but to admit those feelings would make her current situation seem all too serious...and real.
Her friend nodded slowly. “Okay. I don’t want to stress you out. But let’s at least do a holiday brunch with you and me and Leah sometime soon.”
“That would be lovely,” Gabby said. “I can’t wait.”