8. Sawyer #2
“Don’t move,” he says. “Sawyer, don’t move. The structure isn’t stable.”
“Owen!” I cry out. “Owen? Are you—”
I can’t finish the question because somewhere behind us there’s another sound. It’s different from the groaning metal. Sharper and louder. It’s a crack followed by this horrible grinding that makes my whole body seize with terror.
“What was that?” It’s the couple behind us. The woman is awake now, screaming the question. “What’s happening? Oh God, what’s—”
The grinding gets louder.
Knox’s eyes go wide, and his gaze snaps behind us as much as he can. I watch the color drain completely from his face…watch his mouth form a word that doesn’t come, and in that split second, I know hell is coming.
I know what’s about to happen.
“OWEN!” It tears out of me, loud enough to shred my throat raw, and I’m fighting against the restraint and Knox’s grip and gravity trying to hold me in place because I need to see him. I need to know he’s okay.
That terrible sound…it’s louder. So loud that I use my free hand to cover an ear. But that means…
Something is happening behind us. I don’t know what and I can’t see so I desperately call out to them.
“Knox? Can you see him? Owen, I’m here! It’s okay!” I can barely get the words out through sobs.
Metal groans again and I hear the exact moment the support gives way behind us, but mostly I hear the screams…his screams.
They’re cutting through everything else, high-pitched and so completely unlike any sound I’ve ever heard him make that my brain almost doesn’t recognize it as him. He’s screaming my name. “SAWYER! SAWYER!”
He’s so scared. Oh fuck, he’s terrified.
Knox is calling to him beside me. He’s repeating something again and again but I’m trying to hear Owen. I need to hear Owen.
“OWEN!” I scream back, still fighting to turn around while Knox is trying to hold me still. I’m thrashing now. I’m desperate, I need to see him.
“OWEN, HOLD ON! JUST—”
We lurch again, upward or maybe backward, I don’t know. I can’t tell anymore with the world at this angle, but my head cracks against the headrest hard enough to make stars explode across my vision. There’s a pop and pain…so much blinding pain, I can’t think.
We rock and I know it’s over. We’re about to fall.
And then something hits the ground below.
My vision clears as the rocking slows, and that’s when I notice the absence of sound. Owen’s screaming just... stops like someone flipped a switch. The silence that rushes in to fill that space is too much, too wrong.
“No.” The word scrapes out of me, more like a whisper. Then louder and desperate. Oh God, this isn’t happening. “No. No, no, no—OWEN!”
Knox makes a noise that completely breaks anything whole left inside me. When I turn to face him, his eyes are squeezed shut so tight, his entire face is contorted in raw agony.
“Was that—” I wail, no longer able to hold my body in place. My head slumps forward. “Knox…please. That wasn’t—”
“That was him.” Each word cleaves its way out of his throat. “That was—” His voice cracks completely, barely audible between sobbing breaths. “Fuck…Oh fuck…That was Owen.”
“No,” I say. “No. That wasn’t…No. Maybe he’s—”
I turn my head as much as I can, catching a glimpse of his swollen eyes. “Sawyer.”
“No.”
I can’t accept it. I won’t.
“Sawyer, I felt it. I saw—” He chokes on a sob. “He’s—”
He can’t say the word, but he shakes his head again and again as if he can will it to be untrue.
Time passes. I’m not sure how long, only that each moment is misery. There’s sirens blaring from below, loud enough to compete with the wails coming from my chest.
I deserve this. It should have been me.
“Don’t you fucking say that.” Knox grips my hand. I had no idea I was saying those thoughts out loud. He might as well know it, though.
“It’s—It’s not wrong. He—He didn’t deserve this.”
Knox sniffs hard and clears his throat. “No…he didn’t. But neither do you. Fuck. Don’t let me hear that shit come out of your mouth again, Thorne. You hear me?”
I don’t respond. I can’t. How do I agree with something I don’t believe in?
Knox is quiet too, but I can feel him trying to keep it together. It’s in his breathing, in his unspoken words. He’s trying to find something to say that will pull us both back from the edge. His thumb rubs circles against my palm. It’s such a small repetitive motion, but it’s everything I need.
The tracks groan again, making us both freeze in fear. But louder than that…louder than anything else, is the sirens from below.
“Knox?”
He squeezes my hand. “Stay with me, Sawyer.”
“I don’t want to die.” The words come out so small, I barely hear myself speak them. “I know I deserve to, but—”
“Hey…hey,” he says, taking my chin in his hand again. “You’re not going to die…I promise you.”
All the blood rushing to my head is getting to me, I can’t focus. The white spots are back.
“Thorne, stay with me.”
His voice is the only thing keeping me awake. “Talk to me…please. Tell me a story.”
I think I hear a helicopter in the distance. Maybe not…maybe it’s just in my head. Maybe this is all just in my head.
“Okay.” His jaw clenches as he moves to cup my arm. “Okay. I’ve got you. Just listen to my voice.”
And as my head grows heavy, and the sirens grow louder and the helicopter gets closer and we hang suspended between earth and sky, between life and death, Knox starts to talk. His words are the only real thing left in a world that’s shattered into pieces I’ll never be able to put back together.