Chapter 13
Later that afternoon, Lingling finally gathered enough courage to text Orm.
The entire day had passed in a blur she could barely remember.
She had spent hours pretending she was okay.
Pretending the tightness in her chest wasn’t getting worse with every passing minute.
Pretending she could still hear Junji and Fluke talking around her when, in reality, every sound felt distant and muffled—like she was underwater.
Pretending she wasn’t checking her phone every few seconds hoping for a message that never came.
At some point, Junji and Fluke stopped trying to distract her.
They stopped suggesting food.
Stopped turning on random shows.
Stopped forcing conversations.
Because they could already see it.
Lingling wasn’t truly there anymore.
Not mentally.
Not emotionally.
A part of her was still trapped inside that apartment bedroom from this morning—
waking up to cold sheets…
an empty space beside her…
and two devastating words that kept replaying in her head like punishment.
I’m sorry.
That was all Orm left behind.
Two words.
Two words that shattered Lingling’s heart into pieces.
Now Lingling sat quietly near the café window downstairs, the gray afternoon rain sliding softly against the glass.
The weather somehow made everything feel lonelier.
Her untouched coffee had already gone cold beside her.
Her fingers trembled slightly around her phone as she opened Orm’s contact again.
She stared at the screen for a long time.
Thumb hovering.
Heart pounding.
Then she closed it.
Opened it again.
Closed it again.
Over and over.
Because suddenly texting Orm felt terrifying.
What if Orm ignored her?
What if she replied coldly?
What if this was truly the end?
Lingling swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as tears threatened her vision again.
Then finally—
with shaking fingers—
she typed.
(Message)
Ling: Where are you?
Ling: Did you get home safe?
After sending the messages, Lingling froze.
Her chest tightened painfully as she stared at the screen.
Waiting.
Hoping.
Praying.
The tiny “Seen” notification never appeared.
No typing bubble.
No reply.
Nothing.
The silence felt cruel.
Every second stretched unbearably long until even breathing started feeling difficult.
Five minutes passed.
Then fifteen.
Then thirty.
Still nothing.
Lingling kept checking anyway.
Unlock.
Refresh.
Lock again.
Then repeat.
Like maybe somehow the outcome would change if she looked enough times.
An hour later, there was still no response.
No missed call.
No explanation.
Nothing from Orm.
And somehow that hurt more than the goodbye itself.
Because despite everything—
despite being abandoned again—
Lingling still couldn’t stop worrying about her.
What if Orm cried while driving?
What if she was too distracted?
What if something happened on the road?
What if she wasn’t okay right now?
Lingling hated herself a little for caring this much.
Because even after having her heart shattered—
her first instinct was still Orm.
Still her safety.
Still her wellbeing.
Always Orm.
It had always been Orm.
Eventually, unable to endure the silence any longer, Lingling pressed call.
The phone rang once.
Then immediately disconnected.
Voicemail.
Lingling frowned instantly.
A strange coldness crawled down her spine.
She called again.
Voicemail.
Again.
Voicemail.
By the third call, her hands were shaking so badly she nearly dropped the phone.
Across the café, Junji immediately looked up.
“Lingling?”
Something in her expression must have alarmed her because she sat up straighter almost instantly.
Fluke glanced over too, concern appearing on his face.
Lingling slowly lowered the phone from her ear.
“She’s not answering…”
Her voice sounded small.
Fragile.
Like it might break apart completely any second.
Junji’s brows furrowed. “Maybe she’s driving?”
“But she always answers me.”
The moment the words left Lingling’s mouth, her throat tightened painfully.
Because it was true.
No matter how busy Orm was…
No matter how angry they were at each other…
Orm always answered.
Always.
Especially if it was Lingling calling.
Fluke exchanged a worried glance with Junji.
“You think something happened?”
Lingling immediately shook her head.
But the movement felt weak.
Uncertain.
“I don’t know.”
And that terrified her the most.
Not knowing.
Because her mind immediately started imagining the worst things possible.
A car accident.
Orm crying alone somewhere.
Orm breaking down.
Orm hurt.
Orm needing her.
Lingling stood up abruptly from her seat, pacing near the rain-covered window while dialing again.
Voicemail.
Again.
Voicemail.
Again.
Nothing.
Each unanswered call made the panic inside her chest grow heavier.
Her breathing slowly turned uneven.
Shallow.
Painful.
Junji approached carefully. “Ling, calm down—”
“What if something happened to her?” Lingling whispered suddenly.
Her voice cracked halfway through.
And that was when Junji realized this wasn’t just heartbreak anymore.
This was fear.
Real fear.
Lingling pressed the phone against her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as tears finally slipped down her cheeks.
Because beneath all the pain…
beneath the abandonment…
beneath the devastating ache Orm left behind—
there was still love.
Too much of it.
Enough to destroy her.
Enough to make panic overpower pride every single time.
Enough that even after being left behind—
Lingling’s heart still chose Orm first.
—
Two weeks had passed.
And somehow—
Lingling felt even more exhausted than before.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
The kind of exhaustion that sleep couldn’t fix.
The kind that settled deep inside the bones and stayed there no matter how much you tried distracting yourself from it.
Because no matter how many times she called—
Orm still couldn’t be reached.
Sometimes the calls rang once before dying.
Sometimes they went straight to voicemail immediately.
Messages remained unread.
No explanation.
No closure.
Nothing.
And the silence slowly started destroying Lingling from the inside out.
At first, she tried understanding it.
Tried convincing herself Orm simply needed time.
Needed space.
Needed to process what happened between them.
But days became a week.
Then two.
And suddenly Lingling found herself checking her phone before even opening her eyes every morning—
only to find nothing waiting for her.
No missed calls.
No messages.
No Orm.
And somehow that hurt more every single day.
Because silence left too much room for overthinking.
Too much room for fear.
Too much room for questions Lingling couldn’t escape anymore.
Did Orm regret everything?
Did she hate her now?
Was she back with Sean pretending none of this ever happened?
Or worse—
was Lingling the only one still destroyed by it?
—
Work at the Khon Kaen site became overwhelming too.
The project had officially entered its busiest phase, leaving everyone drowning in inspections, revisions, deadlines, and nonstop meetings.
Construction noises echoed endlessly across the site from sunrise until evening.
Workers constantly approached Lingling for approvals.
Engineers kept asking for signatures.
Clients demanded sudden changes.
Blueprint revisions piled endlessly across her desk until there was barely space left for her coffee.
But despite all that—
Lingling still checked her phone every few minutes unconsciously.
Still hoping.
Still waiting.
Even during meetings.
Even while reviewing plans.
Even while speaking to contractors.
Her attention always drifted back toward the screen eventually.
Nothing.
Still nothing.
Junji noticed first.
Of course she did.
Lingling was standing near the unfinished lobby one afternoon reviewing structural drawings with one of the engineers when her phone lit up briefly from a random notification.
Lingling reached for it immediately.
Too quickly.
Hope flashing across her face before disappearing just as fast.
Junji saw it happen.
Saw the disappointment settle quietly into Lingling’s eyes before she locked the phone again and continued discussing measurements like nothing happened.
But Junji knew better.
Later that evening, Lingling sat alone inside the temporary site office, shoulders slumped while staring blankly at a revised blueprint spread across the desk.
The fluorescent lights above made her look paler than usual.
Tired.
Worn down.
Junji quietly entered carrying iced coffee before placing it beside her.
“You’ve been staring at page six for twenty minutes.”
Lingling blinked slowly before looking down.
She hadn’t even realized.
“…Sorry.”
Junji sighed softly before sitting across from her.
“You need sleep.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve said that every day for two weeks.”
Lingling forced a small smile.
“I’m working.”
“No,” Junji replied gently. “You’re surviving.”
That almost broke her immediately.
Because surviving was exactly what this felt like.
Not living.
Not moving on.
Just enduring each day until exhaustion finally dragged nighttime over her again.
Lingling leaned back quietly in her chair before rubbing her eyes tiredly.
The office suddenly felt too small.
Too suffocating.
Junji hesitated for a moment before speaking carefully.
“Still nothing?”
Lingling’s chest tightened instantly.
But she nodded anyway.
Junji looked heartbroken for her.
“Ling…”
“I don’t understand,” Lingling admitted quietly.
Her voice sounded fragile now.
“I know she feels something too.”
Junji stayed silent.
Because she knew that part was true.
Everyone knew.
“She looked at me like…” Lingling swallowed hard before lowering her eyes. “Like she loved me.”
The last word came out almost painfully soft.
“And maybe that’s why this hurts so much.”
Junji’s expression slowly fell.
Because that was the cruelest kind of heartbreak—
when love existed but still wasn’t enough to make someone stay.
Lingling laughed weakly afterward, though her eyes already looked glassy.
“Do you know what’s pathetic?”
Junji frowned slightly.
“I still get scared every night thinking something happened to her.”
Her voice cracked quietly.
“Even after she disappeared on me.”
Junji immediately reached across the desk and held her hand tightly.
Because there was nothing else she could do.
Lingling looked away quickly toward the office window.
Outside, workers continued moving beneath the orange sunset while machinery echoed faintly across the site.
Life continued normally around her.
But inside—
everything still felt stuck in that apartment two weeks ago.
Still trapped inside warm sheets and tearful kisses and two devastating words left behind on a bedside table.
I’m sorry.
Lingling closed her eyes briefly.
God.
She hated how much those words still haunted her.
Then suddenly—
her phone vibrated.
Lingling’s heart stopped.
She grabbed it immediately so fast the chair nearly scraped backward.
Hope exploded violently inside her chest.
Orm.
Please.
But the moment the screen lit up—
her expression fell completely.
Unknown Number.
Not Orm.
Just another work-related call.
Junji watched the way Lingling’s entire face crumbled for one split second before she quickly masked it again.
And that—
more than anything—
finally terrified her.
Because Lingling Kwong had always been strong.
Always composed.
Always capable of carrying heartbreak quietly.
But now?
Now she looked like someone slowly losing herself waiting for a person who might never come back.
Lingling answered the call professionally despite the trembling in her voice.
But while discussing project materials and delivery schedules—
her other hand still clutched her phone tightly beneath the desk.
As if she was still hoping it would light up again.
As if somewhere out there—
Orm might finally decide to return to her.
But the screen remained dark the entire night.
—
One morning during break time, the three of them sat quietly outside the office site beneath a faded gray canopy.
The air already felt heavy despite it still being early.
Construction noises echoed nonstop nearby—metal clanging, machinery humming, workers shouting measurements back and forth.
Life kept moving around them.
Too fast.
Too normally.
Meanwhile Lingling sat silently with an untouched iced coffee beside her, staring blankly at the unfinished documents spread across the plastic table.
But she wasn’t reading anything.
Her eyes stayed fixed on the same page for several minutes now.
Completely unfocused.
Completely elsewhere.
Junji watched her quietly for a while before finally sighing heavily.
“It’s always Orm.”
Lingling let out a tired laugh.
Soft.
Humorless.
Neither denying nor confirming it.
Because honestly—
what was even left to deny anymore?
Everything already lived openly inside her face these days.
The exhaustion.
The waiting.
The heartbreak she kept trying and failing to hide.
Fluke leaned back against his chair while rubbing sleep from his eyes.
“You need to talk to her.”
Lingling stayed quiet.
The words settled heavily in her chest.
Because she wanted to.
God, she wanted to.
But how many times could someone reach for another person before finally accepting they were no longer being reached back?
Junji nodded immediately.
“You deserve clarity after everything, Ling.”
The sincerity in her voice made something inside Lingling ache instantly.
Because for years—
Lingling never really asked anything for herself when it came to Orm.
Not labels.
Not promises.
Not commitment.
Not certainty.
She simply stayed.
Loved quietly.
Waited quietly.
Accepted every small piece Orm gave her like it was enough to survive on.
Even when it wasn’t.
Especially when it wasn’t.
And maybe—
maybe that had always been her biggest mistake.
Loving Orm so completely that she forgot she deserved to be chosen too.
Fluke looked at her carefully before speaking again.
“I think Orm has feelings for you.”
Lingling’s eyes lowered immediately toward her untouched coffee.
Because hearing that no longer comforted her anymore.
Not after everything.
Not after that night.
Not after two weeks of silence.
Now those words only hurt.
Because love without courage was still abandonment.
“Maybe,” Fluke continued gently. “But feelings aren’t enough if she still chooses Sean.”
The sentence landed quietly between them.
But it felt devastatingly heavy.
Painfully true.
Lingling swallowed hard.
Because that was exactly the part destroying her.
She knew Orm loved her.
She knew it now in ways she could no longer deny.
It lived inside every memory from that night.
The way Orm kissed her like she was finally coming home.
The way she cried in Lingling’s arms afterward.
The way she whispered “I’m here” like it meant something irreversible.
But in the end—
Orm still left.
Still disappeared.
Still chose silence over staying.
Junji reached over slowly and squeezed Lingling’s hand gently across the table.
“You need answers.”
Lingling’s chest tightened.
Then Junji spoke again, softer this time.
“And if she decides to stay with him…”
Lingling shut her eyes briefly.
Because she already knew the rest.
You need to let her go.
Completely this time.
No more waiting.
No more almost.
No more loving someone who only reached for her when everything was already falling apart.
The thought alone felt unbearable.
Because Lingling had built entire years of her life around loving Orm quietly.
How were you supposed to stop loving someone who existed in almost every important memory you had?
Someone who still occupied space inside your heart even in silence?
Lingling inhaled shakily before leaning back in her chair.
The morning sunlight felt warm against her skin, but somehow she still felt cold.
Junji watched her carefully.
“You can’t keep destroying yourself waiting for someone who won’t even talk to you.”
Lingling looked down at her hands quietly.
And the terrifying part was—
Junji was right.
Every day these past two weeks felt like slowly bleeding out emotionally while pretending she was functioning normally.
She barely slept.
Barely ate properly.
Every notification still made her heart jump painfully.
Every unknown number still made hope bloom instinctively inside her chest before disappointment crushed it seconds later.
And still—
a part of her kept waiting.
Like her heart simply refused to understand what abandonment actually meant.
Fluke sighed quietly.
“I know you love her.”
Lingling laughed softly again.
This time her eyes turned glassy.
“Yeah,” she whispered.
No denial.
No hesitation.
Just truth.
Raw and exhausted.
“I think I’ve loved her for so long that I don’t even know how to stop anymore.”
The confession broke something inside Junji immediately.
Because Lingling rarely admitted things out loud.
Especially not things this vulnerable.
Junji squeezed her hand tighter.
“But loving someone shouldn’t hurt like this all the time.”
Lingling looked away quickly toward the construction site before tears could fully gather in her eyes.
Workers continued walking past carrying steel bars and equipment while supervisors shouted instructions nearby.
Everything around her kept moving forward.
But Lingling still felt emotionally stranded in that apartment in Khon Kaen.
Still trapped inside one beautiful, devastating night that changed everything between them.
And maybe that was the cruelest part.
Because before that night—
Lingling could still survive pretending.
Pretending they were only friends.
Pretending her feelings were manageable.
Pretending she could live with loving Orm quietly forever.
But after finally being loved back—
even briefly—
everything became impossible to ignore.
Lingling lowered her gaze again before finally nodding once.
Small.
Shaky.
But certain.
For the first time in years—
she wanted to fight for herself too.
Not just for Orm.
Because maybe she deserved more than being someone’s almost.
Maybe she deserved someone who stayed.
Even if the thought of letting Orm go completely still felt like tearing her own heart apart.
And somewhere deep inside herself—
Lingling realized she was terrified of what the answer would be once she finally found Orm again.
Because if Orm chose Sean—
then this time—
Lingling truly had to walk away.