Chapter 18
Later that night, Junji’s phone rang just as she and Fluke were finishing the last of their work inside the nearly empty office.
Rain tapped softly against the glass windows overlooking Bangkok while fluorescent lights flickered above them from exhaustion just as much as the people beneath them.
Junji almost ignored the call the moment she saw the unfamiliar number flashing across her screen.
Almost.
Because lately, every unknown call somehow carried bad news.
She answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Good evening, ma’am,” a man said politely from the other line, though loud music and muffled shouting nearly drowned his voice out. “I’m calling from Eclipse Lounge.”
Junji frowned immediately, exhaustion already making her impatient.
“And?”
“There’s a customer here who’s heavily intoxicated. We checked her emergency contact because she can barely stand anymore.”
Something cold immediately crawled down Junji’s spine.
Her grip around the phone tightened.
“…Who?”
A brief pause.
Then—
“Miss Lingling Kwong.”
Junji stood up so fast her chair screeched violently against the floor.
Fluke startled beside her.
“What happened?”
But Junji was already grabbing her coat and keys with trembling hands.
“It’s Ling.”
And suddenly—
both of them were running.
—
The drive across Bangkok felt suffocating.
Neon lights blurred past the windows while rainwater streaked across the glass in distorted lines.
Fluke kept glancing at Junji from the passenger seat, watching how tightly she gripped the steering wheel.
Too tight.
Junji barely spoke the entire drive.
Because deep down—
she already knew.
Lingling never drank like this unless something inside her finally broke beyond repair.
By the time they arrived at Eclipse Lounge, Bangkok had already drowned itself in midnight.
Neon signs bled across rain-soaked streets while traffic lights reflected endlessly on wet pavement like fractured stars.
But inside the club—
everything felt suffocating.
The bass from the music pounded violently through Junji’s chest the second they stepped inside.
The air smelled like expensive alcohol, cigarettes, sweat, and perfume layered over desperation.
People laughed too loudly.
Bodies moved carelessly beneath flashing lights.
Everyone looked alive.
And somehow that made Junji feel worse.
Because she already knew—
Lingling probably wasn’t.
The waiter immediately recognized them and rushed over nervously.
“This way, ma’am.”
Junji and Fluke followed him quickly through the crowded dance floor toward the private VIP section hidden deeper inside the lounge.
And the moment the doors opened—
both of them stopped breathing.
Lingling sat sprawled carelessly across the enormous velvet couch like someone who had completely given up holding herself together.
Her white longsleeves hung half-open now, exposing the sharp line of her collarbone while the sleeves were rolled messily toward her elbows.
Her hair was damp from sweat.
Her cheeks burned red from alcohol.
But her eyes—
God.
Her eyes looked devastatingly empty.
Not angry.
Not drunk.
Just… gone.
The table in front of her overflowed with expensive liquor bottles, half-empty glasses, melted ice, and cigarette ashes.
And surrounding her were three beautiful women trying desperately to keep her attention.
One sat directly on her lap, fingers lazily tracing circles against Lingling’s chest.
Another clung to her side possessively, arms wrapped around her waist.
The third leaned behind her, slowly massaging her shoulders while whispering something near her ear that normally would have earned a smirk, a teasing comment, maybe even laughter.
But tonight—
Lingling barely reacted.
Her body was there.
But her soul looked like it had already left hours ago.
Junji physically felt her chest ache at the sight.
Because this wasn’t the Lingling they grew up with.
This wasn’t the woman who laughed the loudest during sleepovers, who carried everyone’s burdens silently, who loved so deeply it almost ruined her.
This was someone trying to destroy herself slowly enough that nobody would stop her.
Fluke looked equally shattered beside her.
“…Jesus Christ.”
Lingling lazily lifted her head when she noticed movement near the entrance.
Her unfocused eyes landed on them.
And for a split second—
something vulnerable flickered there.
Relief.
Then it disappeared just as quickly beneath another drunken smile.
“There you are,” she slurred softly. “My beloved friends.”
Her voice sounded wrecked.
Like she’d been screaming earlier.
Or crying.
Or both.
Junji walked toward her immediately.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Lingling stared at her for a moment before reaching for another glass.
“Drinking,” she answered simply.
One of the women pouted dramatically while tightening her arms around Lingling’s waist.
“Your friend is fun,” she giggled drunkenly. “She’s been buying us everything all night.”
Another brushed Lingling’s hair back affectionately.
“She’s also ridiculously handsome.”
Normally, Lingling would have flirted back effortlessly.
Would’ve smiled.
Would’ve charmed the entire room without trying.
But tonight—
nothing.
No reaction.
No interest.
No life.
Junji forced out a strained smile toward the women.
“Okay. Party’s over now, girls. Thank you.”
They groaned immediately.
“Aww, come on—”
“She said she’s single.”
“She’s sad-hot.”
Junji’s expression faltered painfully.
“She’s heartbroken.”
That shut them up instantly.
The girls exchanged awkward glances before slowly standing.
The one sitting on Lingling’s lap lightly pinched her cheek before leaving.
“Call me when you stop looking like your soul got crushed, handsome.”
Lingling didn’t even look at her.
Just stared blankly at the alcohol in her hand as if the glass somehow held answers.
And somehow—
that hurt Junji even more.
Because Lingling used to love attention.
Used to light up entire rooms effortlessly.
But now she looked like someone bleeding to death emotionally while pretending not to notice the wound.
Fluke carefully sat beside her.
“Ling…”
Lingling suddenly pushed two untouched glasses toward them.
“Sit,” she mumbled. “Drink with me.”
Junji sighed shakily.
“You’ve had enough.”
Lingling laughed softly beneath her breath.
“No,” she whispered.
Then she looked down at the glass trembling slightly in her hand.
“Not even close.”
Silence immediately swallowed the three of them.
Because that didn’t sound like someone drinking for fun anymore.
That sounded like someone begging not to feel anything.
Lingling leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes briefly.
She looked exhausted beyond words.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
Like her heart had been fighting a war for too long already.
Then suddenly—
she spoke again.
“She went to my condo earlier.”
Junji and Fluke exchanged glances instantly.
Lingling let out another hollow laugh.
“She still remembered the password.”
Her lips trembled slightly.
“1127.”
Junji immediately felt tears sting her eyes.
Their birthdays combined.
Even after everything.
Even after the betrayal, the pain, the timing, the impossible situation—
Orm still remembered.
Lingling stared quietly at the alcohol swirling inside her glass.
“She walked in while I was finishing boxing.”
Fluke swallowed hard.
“And?”
For a moment, Lingling smiled.
A real smile.
Small.
Fragile.
The kind that only existed because it hurt too much.
“She said she wanted to fix things.”
Then the smile disappeared.
Just like that.
Tears suddenly gathered in her eyes again.
“But how do you fix this now?”
Her voice cracked so painfully Junji had to look away.
“There’s a baby coming.”
The words sounded heavier this time.
Permanent.
Final.
“The wedding’s next week.”
Lingling laughed again.
But halfway through—
the sound shattered into a sob.
“And the stupid thing is…” she whispered shakily, “I still wanted her to stay.”
Fluke immediately shut his eyes.
Because there it was.
The ugliest truth of heartbreak.
Sometimes the person destroying you is still the only person you want beside you.
Lingling wiped her face roughly before taking another burning shot.
Then suddenly—
she started laughing harder.
Too hard.
The kind of laugh people make right before completely breaking down.
Junji immediately grabbed her wrist.
“Lingling.”
But Lingling only stared somewhere far away.
“I told her about the dream.”
Fluke frowned softly.
“What dream?”
Lingling’s smile trembled violently.
“The wedding.”
The words came out barely audible beneath the music.
For several seconds, she simply stared ahead blankly.
Then tears began rolling down her cheeks silently.
“I dreamed she married me.”
Junji physically felt something inside her break hearing that.
Lingling laughed weakly through tears.
“She looked so beautiful walking toward me.”
Her breathing became uneven.
“She was smiling at me like I was still her home.”
Another tear slid down her face.
“And for a while…” she whispered, voice trembling, “I really believed it.”
Nobody spoke.
Even the music around them suddenly felt distant now.
Muted.
Like the world itself was mourning with her.
“I woke up,” Lingling whispered.
Her lips quivered violently.
“And realized none of it was real.”
Junji covered her mouth immediately.
Because no amount of comforting could fix that kind of pain.
No words could survive heartbreak that deep.
“Do you know how cruel that feels?” Lingling asked softly.
Her voice sounded so small now.
So tired.
Like she had nothing left inside her anymore.
Junji grabbed her hand tightly.
But Lingling kept talking anyway.
Because once someone finally starts unraveling—
sometimes they can’t stop.
“She told me she couldn’t let go of me either.”
Another broken laugh escaped her lips.
“Can you imagine how horrible that is?”
Fluke felt tears burn behind his eyes.
Because Lingling wasn’t angry.
That was the worst part.
She wasn’t angry at Orm.
She still loved her too much for anger.
“She loves me,” Lingling whispered.
Then she looked down at her shaking hands.
“But not enough to choose me.”
And that—
that completely destroyed whatever composure Junji still had left.
Tears immediately fell down her cheeks.
Because seeing Lingling cry was already painful enough.
But seeing Lingling hopeless?
Seeing her completely emptied out by love?
That felt terrifying.
Like watching someone slowly disappear right in front of you.
Lingling suddenly covered her face with both trembling hands.
Her shoulders shook violently.
And finally—
she broke.
A shattered sob escaped her chest so painfully that Junji immediately wrapped her arms around her.
“I’m so tired…” Lingling cried weakly.
Fluke moved closer too, rubbing her back gently while wiping his own tears away.
“I’m so tired of loving her…”
Junji held her tighter.
And tighter.
As if holding her hard enough could somehow keep her from falling apart completely.
But Lingling kept crying anyway.
Years of love.
Years of waiting.
Years of hoping.
All collapsing inside her at once.
And in the middle of that luxurious crowded bar filled with strangers laughing, dancing, kissing, celebrating—
Lingling Kwong completely fell apart in the arms of the only people left trying to hold her together.
—
Almost an hour later, they finally managed to bring her home.
By then, Lingling could barely walk on her own anymore.
Her knees kept threatening to give out beneath her weight, like even her body had finally surrendered after trying so hard to stay strong the entire night.
Junji stayed on her left side, one arm securely wrapped around her waist while Fluke supported her carefully from the other side.
Neither of them complained.
Neither of them said anything.
Because there was nothing left to say.
The elevator ride felt painfully long.
Silent.
Heavy.
The only sounds filling the small space were Lingling’s uneven breathing and the occasional quiet sniffle she tried—and failed—to suppress.
Her eyes stayed lowered the entire time.
Red.
Swollen.
Empty.
Junji glanced at her reflection on the elevator wall and almost looked away.
Lingling looked shattered.
Not in the dramatic way people described heartbreak in movies.
No.
This looked worse.
This looked real.
Like someone whose heart had been broken so many times in the exact same place that it no longer knew how to heal anymore.
When the elevator doors finally opened, they slowly guided her toward the condominium unit.
Lingling took a few weak steps before suddenly stopping in front of the door.
Her eyes drifted silently toward the keypad lock.
And just like that—
her entire expression crumbled again.
Junji immediately noticed it.
The way Lingling stared at the keypad like it had personally wounded her.
Because the password was still the same.
Still hers and Orm’s birthday.
Even after everything.
Even after all the nights Lingling spent crying because of her.
Even after loving her longer than she should have.
Fluke quietly looked away first, pretending not to notice.
Junji’s chest tightened painfully.
Because heartbreak was cruel like that.
Sometimes it wasn’t the big things that destroyed you.
Sometimes it was passwords.
Coffee mugs.
Favorite songs.
The side of the bed someone used to sleep on.
Tiny things that suddenly became unbearable because they still carried the ghost of someone you loved too much.
Lingling shakily reached for the keypad herself.
But halfway through typing, her fingers began trembling too badly.
She couldn’t finish.
A soft, broken sound escaped her throat before she quickly covered her mouth, embarrassed by her own weakness.
Junji gently took over and entered the code for her without saying a word.
The door unlocked with a soft click.
And somehow, even that sound felt heartbreaking.
Fluke pushed the door open carefully while Junji guided Lingling inside.
The condominium was still a mess from earlier.
Boxing gloves abandoned near the couch.
Half-empty water bottles scattered across the floor.
A damp towel carelessly hanging over a chair.
The punching bag in the corner still slightly tilted from how violently Lingling had hit it earlier.
Everything inside the room screamed exhaustion.
Grief.
Desperation.
It looked less like a home now and more like a place someone had been trying to survive inside.
Junji carefully helped Lingling sit down on the edge of the bed.
The mattress dipped beneath her weight.
Lingling didn’t even react.
She just sat there quietly, shoulders slumped, eyes unfocused.
Completely drained.
Like she had cried far beyond what a human heart was supposed to endure.
Junji slowly crouched in front of her and gently removed her shoes.
Lingling didn’t stop her.
Didn’t speak.
Didn’t move.
Fluke quietly went to the kitchen to grab water, giving her whatever little dignity heartbreak still allowed.
For several moments, silence filled the room again.
The suffocating kind.
The kind where everyone could hear the sound of someone falling apart without them making a single noise.
Then suddenly—
Lingling spoke.
Her voice barely rose above a whisper.
So soft it almost sounded like she was talking to herself.
“I really thought she’d choose me and the timing would favor us this time.”
Junji froze instantly.
Fluke stopped moving in the kitchen.
Lingling stared blankly at her trembling hands resting on her lap.
“I thought…” she continued weakly, her voice cracking halfway through, “maybe if I loved her enough…”
She swallowed hard.
“…she’d finally see me.”
Junji felt her own eyes sting immediately.
Because there was nothing more painful than watching someone realize love alone was not enough to make another person choose them.
Lingling let out a small laugh then.
But it sounded horrible.
Broken.
Empty.
The kind of laugh people make right before they completely collapse.
“But she never does. Or she does but it's too late now.”
Silence.
Then another shaky breath escaped her lips.
“She always comes back when I'm trying to take a step away,” Lingling whispered. “And every single time… I let her.”
Her tears started falling again silently.
“I let her ruin me over and over because I kept hoping one day she’d look at me and realize…” her voice broke completely, “realize I was already giving her everything. That I'm the one she keeps looking all along.”
Junji looked away for a second because it hurt too much to watch.
Lingling wiped at her tears angrily, frustrated that they would not stop.
“I waited for her,” she whispered. “God, I waited for her so long.”
Her shoulders began shaking now.
“And she knew that.”
The room grew impossibly quiet.
Because that was the cruelest part.
Not that Orm didn’t know.
But that she did.
Lingling lowered her head, finally breaking completely.
“I’m so tired,” she cried softly. “I’m so tired of being the person who waits, who loves and endures more. Even just for once, I wanna be someone's home. You know the kind of place where they're willing to stay. ”
Junji immediately moved beside her on the bed and pulled her into her arms.
And the second Lingling felt someone hold her—
she shattered.
A painful sob ripped out of her chest so violently it made Fluke close his eyes.
Lingling clutched Junji tightly like she was drowning.
“I love her,” Lingling cried helplessly against Junji’s shoulder. “I love her so much that it hurts…”
Junji held her tighter, one hand trembling as she rubbed Lingling’s back gently.
But even she didn’t know how to comfort someone whose heart had been broken by the same person too many times.
Because some pain could not be fixed by reassurance.
Some heartbreak stayed no matter how tightly people held you afterward.
And that night, inside the dim quiet condominium filled with the remains of another ruined hope—
Lingling cried like someone mourning a future she already knew she would never have.
—
Orm and Sean's wedding day came faster than anyone expected.
And cruelly—
like fate truly enjoyed hurting Lingling repeatedly—
it was scheduled on the exact same day as her flight to Paris.
The universe really had a sick sense of humor.
Because how cruel was it that on the same day Lingling was leaving the country to forget Orm—
Orm was promising forever to someone else?
Maybe some love stories were simply written to wound people beautifully until the very end.
The venue looked breathtaking.
A garden wedding hidden beneath soft white canopies and glowing chandeliers hanging from trees wrapped in tiny lights.
White flowers bloomed everywhere.
Roses.
Hydrangeas.
Baby’s breath.
The scent of fresh flowers mixed softly with the cool afternoon breeze while instrumental music echoed gently beneath the high ceilings of the open pavilion.
It looked like the kind of wedding people dreamed about their entire lives.
And maybe that made it hurt even more.
Guests filled nearly every seat.
Elegant dresses.
Soft laughter.
Warm congratulations.
Everyone looked happy.
Everyone except the woman sitting quietly in the farthest corner of the garden.
Lingling wore a white longsleeves beneath a black coat draped over her shoulders.
Her Dior shades hid most of her eyes.
But not enough to hide the tears slipping silently beneath them.
Junji sat beside her holding her hand tightly the entire ceremony.
Fluke remained unusually quiet on her other side.
All three of them understood one thing clearly—
Lingling should not be here.
But somehow—
she still came anyway.
Maybe because some part of her needed to see the ending with her own eyes before finally letting go.
From the altar—
Orm looked beautiful.
Painfully beautiful.
Wearing white beneath the golden afternoon light.
Her hair softly styled away from her face.
Makeup light and elegant.
And there—
resting against her finger—
was the same ring that destroyed Lingling weeks ago.
Beside her stood Sean.
Looking at Orm with nothing but love.
Pure love.
The kind without hesitation.
Without confusion.
Without fear.
And Lingling’s chest hurt so badly she genuinely thought she might collapse right there in her seat.
Because this was real.
Not a nightmare.
Not something temporary.
Orm was truly marrying someone else.
The woman Lingling loved most in the world was becoming another person’s forever.
And still—
Lingling couldn’t even hate her.
Because despite everything—
all Lingling ever truly wanted was for Orm to be happy.
Even if happiness no longer included her.
The ceremony began softly.
And Lingling cried almost immediately.
Quietly.
Constantly.
The kind of crying that no longer made sound because the grief had already settled too deeply inside the body.
She cried during the vows.
Cried when Sean held Orm’s hands gently while promising to love her forever.
Cried when the priest spoke about soulmates and destiny.
Junji squeezed Lingling’s hand tighter every time her shoulders trembled.
Fluke silently kept handing her tissues without saying a word.
Then came the rings.
Lingling physically looked away for a second when Sean slid the wedding band onto Orm’s finger carefully.
Because somehow—
that small gesture shattered her more than anything else.
It made everything final.
Permanent.
Then finally—
Orm whispered:
“I do.”
Lingling broke completely behind her sunglasses.
Tears rolled endlessly down her cheeks while her lips trembled silently.
Because for years—
those were the words she secretly dreamed Orm would one day say to her instead.
And now she was hearing them anyway.
Just not for her.
Junji quietly started crying beside her too.
Fluke lowered his head while rubbing his eyes tiredly.
Because watching someone grieve this deeply felt unbearable.
And suddenly—
while staring at Orm standing beneath white flowers and golden light—
Lingling realized something devastating.
Maybe this was truly their ending.
Not dramatic.
Not explosive.
Not filled with hatred.
Just…
late.
A love that arrived too late to survive.
When the priest finally smiled warmly and announced:
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Lingling closed her eyes briefly.
Because she couldn’t watch it.
She genuinely couldn’t survive seeing Orm kiss someone else in front of everyone.
Not today.
Not after loving her this long.
So instead—
Lingling lowered her head quietly and whispered one final goodbye inside her heart.
Be happy, Orm.
Please.
Even if it’s without me.
Applause erupted loudly around the garden afterward.
Guests stood smiling.
Some people cried happily.
Music swelled softly beneath the cheers while Sean kissed Orm lovingly beneath falling flower petals.
And somewhere in the farthest corner of the venue—
Lingling silently mourned the greatest love of her life.
—
After the ceremony ended, guests slowly flooded outside the garden laughing and celebrating together.
Cameras flashed everywhere.
Champagne glasses clinked softly.
People gathered around the newly married couple excitedly.
But Lingling never approached them.
Never walked toward Orm.
Never said goodbye.
Because she knew—
if Orm saw her standing there now—
they would both break apart again.
And Lingling no longer had the strength to survive another goodbye.
So quietly—
before the reception even started—
she stood up.
Junji immediately grabbed her hand gently.
“You okay?”
Lingling nodded weakly.
Lie.
Fluke quietly picked up her hand carry bag beside the table without saying anything.
And together—
the three of them left the wedding venue silently while laughter and celebration continued behind them.
The car ride to the airport remained mostly quiet afterward.
Only soft music played faintly in the background while city lights blurred outside rain-covered windows.
Lingling sat near the glass staring outside the entire drive.
Expression empty.
Heart numb.
Bangkok slowly passed by outside like memories she could no longer carry with her.
The coffee shop near the office.
The bridge Orm loved driving across at night.
The convenience store where they once bought instant noodles after overtime.
Every corner of the city felt haunted now.
Junji quietly cried beside her at one point.
Fluke kept both hands tightly around the steering wheel the entire drive.
No one knew what to say anymore.
Because some heartbreaks became too big for language.
And somewhere far behind them—
inside a beautifully decorated wedding hall glowing beneath thousands of lights—
Orm probably smiled for pictures while beginning a new life.
Without her.