Chapter 31
The drive back to the hotel felt endless.
Phuket's streets were still alive outside.
Tourists laughed.
Motorcycles passed by.
Restaurants overflowed with music and conversation.
Life continued as though nothing in the world had changed.
But inside the taxi...
Lingling couldn't hear any of it.
Sean's voice continued to echo inside her head.
"She never stopped loving you."
"She carried everyone's pain... except her own."
"It's always been you."
Every word replayed like an old recording she couldn't switch off.
Every sentence became another blade twisting deeper into her heart.
...
When she finally entered her hotel suite, she quietly locked the door behind her.
Silence.
An unbearable silence.
She slowly walked toward the minibar with trembling legs.
Without thinking...
She grabbed the first bottle she saw.
Whiskey.
She twisted the cap open with shaking hands.
No glass.
No ice.
She drank straight from the bottle.
The burning liquid slid down her throat.
It hurt.
But not nearly enough.
Another mouthful.
Another.
Another.
As if alcohol could somehow drown four years of regret.
Her knees finally gave out.
She slowly slid down the side of the bed until she was sitting on the cold marble floor.
The bottle remained clutched in one hand.
Her other hand pressed tightly against her chest.
As though she could physically stop her heart from breaking apart.
A sob escaped.
Then another.
Soon she could no longer stop them.
Tears poured freely down her face.
She buried her face against her knees.
Trying to muffle the sound.
Trying to stop herself from falling completely apart.
But grief...
had waited four long years.
It had no intention of leaving quietly.
Sean's confessions echoed endlessly.
"Orm was there through every chemotherapy."
"She never left."
"She disappeared little by little."
"She was dying too."
Lingling squeezed the fabric of her shirt until her fingers hurt.
"Why..."
she whispered to no one.
"Why did this happen to us?"
Another drink.
Her voice broke.
"I was in Paris..."
"I thought I was the only one trying to survive."
She laughed bitterly.
"...while she was fighting battles I never even knew existed."
More tears.
"I hated her..."
Her breathing became uneven.
"I spent four years convincing myself she chose someone else..."
"...when she was sacrificing everything..."
"...for everyone."
She looked toward the ceiling.
Her vision blurred by tears.
"Why?"
Her voice rose.
"Why were we always one step too late?"
She clenched the whiskey bottle tighter.
"I was trying to forget her..."
"...while she was carrying cancer..."
"...a pregnancy..."
"...a marriage she never wanted..."
"...and loving me all at the same time."
Her shoulders shook violently.
"How cruel can fate possibly be?"
She cried until she could barely breathe.
Until the whiskey bottle was nearly half empty.
Until exhaustion settled into her bones.
Then—
The electronic lock beeped.
The hotel room door slowly opened.
"Ling?"
A familiar voice echoed inside the suite.
Fluke rolled his suitcase inside, still wearing the suit he'd worn for the merger meeting in Bangkok.
"I just got ba—"
He stopped.
The suitcase slipped from his hand.
His eyes widened.
"Lingling..."
She was sitting on the floor.
Hair disheveled.
Eyes swollen.
The whiskey bottle hanging loosely from her fingers.
Crying so hard she couldn't even wipe her own tears anymore.
Fluke rushed toward her.
Without saying a word...
he knelt down and wrapped both arms around her.
Lingling completely fell apart.
She buried her face against his shoulder.
The sob she had been trying to suppress exploded from her chest.
She cried like someone mourning the loss of an entire lifetime.
Fluke simply held her.
One hand gently rubbing her back.
"It's okay..."
he whispered.
"I'm here."
For several long minutes...
Neither of them spoke.
Only the sound of Lingling crying filled the room.
...
A little while later...
The two of them sat in the living room.
The whiskey bottle now rested on the coffee table between them.
Neither cared about glasses anymore.
Fluke poured two drinks anyway.
He quietly handed one to Lingling.
She accepted it with trembling fingers.
Neither of them drank immediately.
The silence lingered.
Heavy.
Finally...
Lingling spoke.
Her voice sounded exhausted.
"I saw Orm."
Fluke looked up.
"At the beach."
She swallowed.
"She was with Sean..."
"...and their son."
Fluke nodded quietly.
"Liam."
Lingling smiled weakly through tears.
"He's beautiful."
"He has Sean's eyes..."
"...but he smiles exactly like Orm."
Fluke smiled sadly.
"He does."
Lingling stared into her drink.
"Last night..."
"I got drunk."
"Orm took me back to her hotel room."
Her cheeks flushed faintly.
"Something happened between us."
Fluke raised an eyebrow.
"We..."
She looked away.
"...kissed and made love."
Another silence.
"And we were finally going to talk."
"Really talk."
"I thought after four years..."
"...we were finally going to hear each other."
Her fingers tightened around the glass.
"But Sean called."
"Liam had a severe allergic reaction to peanuts."
"They rushed him to the hospital."
She smiled bitterly.
"And once again..."
"Life interrupted us."
Fluke slowly nodded.
As if he wasn't surprised anymore.
Life had always interrupted Lingling and Orm.
Always.
Lingling took a shaky breath.
"Fluke..."
He looked at her.
"Sean and I talked at the cafe near the hospital this morning. He told me things and some truths about four years ago."
"What do you know?"
She wiped away another tear.
"What happened after I left?"
"What really happened to Orm?"
Fluke remained silent.
His eyes drifted toward the city lights beyond the window.
As if he had been expecting this question...
for years.
He finally took a sip of whiskey.
Then sighed deeply.
"I suppose..."
"It's finally time."
His voice became quiet.
"You deserve to know."
...
Fluke leaned back against the sofa.
His eyes slowly closed.
As memories from four years ago resurfaced.
"It was one week after Orm and Sean got married."
His jaw tightened.
"She came looking for Junji and me."
Another pause.
"She wanted to know where you were."
Lingling looked at him.
"She was crying."
"Not just crying..."
Fluke corrected himself.
"Begging."
"She told us exactly what she'd promised you."
"'Please tell me where Lingling is.'"
"'I can fix this.'"
"'I can explain everything.'"
"'Please...'"
His fingers tightened around his glass.
"But we were furious."
"Junji especially."
Fluke laughed bitterly.
"We had spent every day watching you break apart."
"We watched you stop eating."
"We watched you stop smiling."
"We watched you wake up crying in the middle of the night."
"We watched you pretend you were okay..."
"...when you weren't."
His eyes became wet.
"So when Orm stood in front of us asking for help..."
"I couldn't forgive her."
"I told her she had no right."
"I told her she'd already made her choice."
Lingling lowered her head.
Fluke continued quietly.
"Junji..."
"...lost control."
He swallowed.
"She slapped Orm."
The room became silent.
Fluke stared at his glass.
"It wasn't because she hated Orm."
"It was because she loved you."
"She couldn't accept seeing the person who broke you standing there asking for another chance."
He inhaled slowly.
"Orm never defended herself."
"Not once."
"She simply stood there..."
"...crying."
"She apologized over and over."
"But eventually..."
"She left."
Lingling covered her mouth.
Fresh tears streamed down her face.
Fluke nodded slowly.
"We thought that was the end."
He looked toward the ceiling.
"But a few months later..."
"I saw her again."
His expression changed.
The anger disappeared.
Replaced by sorrow.
"Junji and I were visiting a friend at the hospital."
"And then..."
"I saw someone pushing a wheelchair."
He paused.
"It was Orm."
Lingling's breathing stopped.
"She was heavily pregnant."
"Maybe eight months."
"She looked exhausted."
"So thin."
"So pale."
"So unbelievably tired."
His voice cracked.
"And sitting in that wheelchair..."
"...was Sean."
He closed his eyes.
"I almost didn't recognize him."
"He looked..."
"...like death itself."
"There was no color in his face."
"He had lost so much weight."
"He looked as though the wind could carry him away."
"And beside him..."
He swallowed hard.
"...was Orm."
"Trying to smile."
"Trying to stay strong."
"But I could see it."
"So could Junji."
"They were both surviving."
"They weren't living."
Lingling quietly cried.
Fluke looked down at his hands.
"That day..."
"We followed them."
"We confronted Orm."
"We cornered her in one of the hospital gardens."
"We demanded the truth."
He laughed weakly.
"And for the first time..."
"She finally told us everything."
Every single thing.
Sean's cancer.
The inheritance.
The marriage.
The sacrifice.
The guilt.
The promise she made to Sean.
The promise she made to herself.
And the promise she still intended to keep...
to you.
"When she finished..."
Fluke whispered,
"None of us were standing anymore."
"We were all crying."
"I realized..."
"...that while we spent months blaming Orm..."
"...she had been carrying the weight of an entire world by herself."
He wiped his own eyes.
"So Junji and I made a promise."
"If she wouldn't let us carry her pain..."
"...then we'd carry everything around it."
"We drove her to hospital appointments."
"We brought Sean meals."
"We stayed with Liam after he was born."
"We forced Orm to sleep."
"We helped however we could."
"But even then..."
He smiled sadly.
"...she always looked incomplete."
A long silence followed.
"When Liam was finally born..."
"And Sean was recovering after his bone marrow transplant..."
"Junji finally told Orm where you were."
Lingling immediately looked up.
"Paris."
Fluke nodded.
"The happiest I'd seen Orm in months..."
"She wanted to book the earliest flight she could to see you. But we had to stop her cause she just gave birth and Sean and Liam needed her."
"A year passed."
"Sean recovered."
"They divorced peacefully right after Liam's first birthday. Just like what they agreed after their marriage."
"There was no anger."
"No resentment."
"They simply ended a marriage that had never truly belonged to love."
"Don't be confused if Sean's still caring for Orm. We all promise to look after her after everything she went through."
Fluke slowly lifted his eyes and looked at Lingling.
His expression carried the weight of memories he wished he never had to relive.
"Then..."
He swallowed hard.
"Junji... Orm... and I flew to Paris."
Lingling's heartbeat stumbled.
Her lips parted, but no sound came out.
She stared at him as though she had forgotten how to breathe.
"You... went to my house?"
she whispered, almost afraid of hearing the answer.
Fluke slowly nodded.
"We did."
"The moment we arrived, we went straight there."
"Your mother welcomed us."
A faint, bittersweet smile appeared on his face.
"She was incredibly kind."
"As always."
"But..."
The smile disappeared just as quickly.
"She looked exhausted."
"It wasn't the kind of exhaustion sleep could fix."
"It was the exhaustion of a mother watching her child disappear little by little... while being completely powerless to stop it."
Lingling's chest tightened painfully.
Fluke lowered his eyes.
"She told us everything."
"She told us you were barely hanging on."
His voice trembled.
"You had shut everyone out."
"You stopped doing what you love."
"You rarely left your room."
"You refused to talk about what happened."
"You refused to say Orm's name."
"You barely smiled anymore."
"You barely ate."
"You barely slept."
"...You barely lived."
Silence filled the room.
Even the sound of breathing seemed too loud.
Fluke looked away, unable to meet Lingling's eyes.
"The only victory your mother managed..."
"...was convincing you to attend therapy."
Lingling slowly closed her eyes.
A single tear escaped before she could stop it.
She remembered those sessions.
She remembered sitting across from strangers, pretending she was okay while silently wishing every day would simply end.
Fluke's voice cracked.
"Orm asked your mother if she could see you."
"Just once."
"She promised she wouldn't disturb you."
"She only wanted to know..."
"...if you were alive."
"Even if she had to watch from far away."
"Your mother hesitated."
"But eventually..."
"...she agreed."
Another painful silence.
Fluke's gaze drifted toward the window as though he could still see that day.
"We found you sitting alone in a park."
"You were wearing headphones."
"You were simply staring into nothing."
"You weren't looking at the trees."
"You weren't looking at the people."
"You weren't looking at the sky."
"It was like..."
He struggled to find the right words.
"...your soul wasn't there anymore."
"You looked so..."
"So empty."
"So lost."
"So broken."
"So unbelievably lonely."
"You weren't living."
"You were only surviving because your heart hadn't stopped beating yet."
Lingling's trembling hands slowly covered her mouth.
Fluke inhaled shakily.
"I looked at Orm."
"She immediately covered her mouth."
"She was trying so hard not to cry."
"She kept telling herself to stay quiet."
"She didn't want you to notice."
"But the moment she truly looked at you..."
"...she completely fell apart."
His voice broke.
"She collapsed onto a nearby bench."
"She cried so hard she couldn't breathe."
"I had never seen anyone cry like that."
"It wasn't loud."
"It wasn't dramatic."
"It was the kind of crying that came from someone whose heart had shattered into thousands of pieces."
"She kept repeating the same words over and over."
Fluke closed his eyes.
"'This is my fault.'"
"'I did this to her.'"
"'I destroyed the person I love the most.'"
"'She used to smile because of me.'"
"'Now she doesn't smile at all.'"
"'God..."
"'What have I done?'"
Lingling buried her face into both hands.
Her shoulders trembled violently.
She couldn't stop crying.
Fluke waited until she caught her breath before continuing.
"That night..."
His voice became even softer.
"...Orm completely broke."
"We returned to the hotel."
"She cried the entire evening."
"For hours."
"There were no words that could comfort her."
"Junji and I stayed beside her."
"We kept telling her it wasn't entirely her fault."
"We reminded her that people make mistakes."
"That someday..."
"...maybe..."
"...everything would be okay."
"But nothing reached her."
"Nothing."
"Eventually..."
"She finally stopped crying."
"She wiped her tears. She forced herself to smile at us."
"And she quietly said..."
"'I'll go take a shower.'"
Fluke paused.
His hands slowly began trembling.
"At first..."
"Everything seemed normal."
"We waited."
"Five minutes."
"Ten."
"Then almost an hour passed. Junji frowned."
"She said..."
"'Why is she taking so long?'"
"We knocked."
"No answer."
"We called her name."
"'Orm?'"
"'Orm!'"
"Still nothing."
"Junji started panicking."
"I felt something was wrong."
"So..."
"I kicked the bathroom door open."
Fluke's voice cracked completely.
"The image..."
"...still haunts me."
Lingling slowly looked up.
Her entire body shook.
Fluke stared at the floor.
"She was lying on the bathroom floor."
"There were tears still running down her face."
"Her skin had already turned pale."
"And..."
He couldn't continue.
He pressed his lips together before forcing the words out.
"There was blood."
"So much blood."
"Her wrist..."
"...was covered in it."
"She had cut herself."
Lingling gasped.
Her breathing became uneven.
"No..."
she whispered.
"No..."
Fluke nodded through tears.
"We immediately wrapped her wrist with towels."
"I carried her."
"Junji was crying so hard she could barely dial the emergency number."
"We rushed her to the nearest hospital."
"I still remember Junji screaming inside the ambulance."
"'Please don't leave us!'"
"'Please stay!'"
"'Please don't die!'"
"I had never seen Junji that hysterical."
"We truly thought..."
"...we were going to lose her."
He closed his eyes.
"When Orm finally regained consciousness..."
"...the first thing she said wasn't asking where she was."
"It wasn't asking if she was okay."
"It wasn't asking about her injury."
"It was..."
"'Why did you save me?'"
Lingling completely stopped breathing.
Fluke's tears rolled freely.
"She begged us..."
"'Please let me die.'"
"'I can't carry this anymore.'"
"'I can't live knowing I destroyed her.'"
"'Every time I close my eyes..."
"'I see Lingling crying.'"
"'Every single day feels like punishment.'"
"'Please..."
"'Just let me go.'"
The room fell silent.
Only Lingling's sobs could be heard.
Fluke wiped his face.
"Then..."
"Your mother arrived."
Lingling slowly looked up.
Fluke nodded.
"Junji called her."
"So she came."
"There..."
"In that hospital room..."
"Your mother and Orm had the conversation that changed everything."
"Orm told her the entire truth."
"Every single detail."
"Nothing was hidden."
"And when she finished..."
"She apologized."
"Again."
"And again."
"And again."
"I honestly lost count."
"A hundred apologies still wouldn't have been enough in her mind."
"She couldn't forgive herself."
"Not even for a second."
Fluke smiled sadly.
"But do you know what your mother did?"
Lingling slowly shook her head.
"She cried."
"She cried with Orm."
"She held Orm's trembling hands."
"She didn't yell."
"She didn't blame her."
"She simply held her..."
"...while both of them cried for the same person."
Fluke's voice softened.
"Then your mother whispered..."
"'Please...'"
"'Give my daughter time.'"
"'She needs to learn how to breathe again.'"
"'She needs to remember how to smile without forcing herself.'"
"'She needs to find herself before she can find anyone else.'"
"'If you truly love her...'"
"'Please..."
"'Let her heal first. And you should focus on healing yourself too. So you could love her fully, without doubt, and without fear.'"
Fluke smiled through his tears.
"And Orm listened."
"She accepted every word."
"Without arguing."
"Without complaining."
"Without asking when she could see you again."
"Because if loving you meant disappearing from your life..."
"...then she was willing to disappear."
"If giving you space was another way of protecting you..."
"...then she would spend every day loving you from a distance."
He looked directly into Lingling's tear-filled eyes.
"And that's exactly what she did."
"For years."
Lingling's tears refused to stop.
They poured endlessly down her cheeks.
Her voice barely existed anymore.
"Why..."
she whispered.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Why did you let me believe she simply walked away? That she chose Sean over us?"
Fluke looked absolutely heartbroken.
"We wanted to."
"So many times."
"There were countless moments when we almost told you everything."
"But every single time Orm's name came up..."
"We saw your eyes."
"The pain."
"The emptiness."
"The way you immediately shut down."
"You never spoke about her."
"But you didn't have to."
"We knew."
"You weren't healed."
"You were only surviving."
"You had simply become good at pretending."
Fluke reached across the table.
He gently held her trembling hand.
"We thought..."
"Maybe time would finally be kind to both of you."
His smile slowly broke apart.
"We were wrong."
Silence returned.
Heavy.
Unbearable.
Then Fluke quietly asked,
"Do you know what Orm did every single year on your birthday?"
Lingling slowly shook her head.
Fluke smiled through his tears.
"Every year..."
"Without missing even one..."
"...she flew to Paris."
Lingling froze.
Her entire body went still.
"Every single year."
"No matter how busy she was."
"No matter how exhausted she became."
"No matter how much it hurt."
"She always came."
"She baked you a chocolate banana cake."
"The exact same cake she baked for your birthday in Khon Kaen four years ago."
"The recipe never changed."
"She said changing it would feel like changing that memory."
"So she never did."
"She brought the cake to your mother."
"They would talk."
"They would cry."
"They would celebrate your birthday together."
"And then..."
Fluke let out a small, broken laugh.
"...she disappeared."
Lingling frowned through her tears.
"What do you mean?"
Fluke's smile carried nothing but sadness.
"She followed you."
"Secretly."
"You never knew."
"If you visited a museum..."
"...she was there."
"If you wandered through the parks..."
"...she was there."
"If you sat quietly by the beach..."
"...she had already found a place where she could watch you without being seen."
"If you smiled at children playing..."
"...she smiled because you smiled."
"If you laughed..."
"...she silently thanked God."
"If you cried..."
"...she cried somewhere you couldn't hear her."
"She never approached you."
"Not once."
"She never interrupted your peace."
"She never asked for forgiveness."
"She never tried to explain herself."
"She wanted only one thing."
"To know..."
"...that the woman she loved more than her own life..."
"...was still alive and doing okay."
That was all.
Nothing more.
Lingling finally broke.
Not just emotionally.
Completely.
Every wall she had painstakingly built over the last four years—every ounce of restraint, every forced smile, every carefully rehearsed excuse that told herself she had already moved on—crumbled all at once.
There was nothing left to hold her together.
She folded in on herself, her trembling hands covering her face as a raw, broken sob tore from her chest.
Then another.
And another.
The room, once silent, became filled with the sound of a heart finally surrendering to years of buried grief.
She cried until she could no longer catch her breath.
Until her lungs burned from gasping.
Until every inhale felt like dragging shards of glass into her chest.
The pain was unbearable.
Not because she had just learned the truth.
But because she realized she had spent four long years grieving a version of the woman she loved that had never truly existed.
Four years...
Four years of convincing herself that Orm had stopped loving her.
Four years of believing she had simply been abandoned.
Four years of forcing herself to hate the only woman her heart had never stopped choosing.
And now...
Everything she thought she knew had been ripped away.
The weight of that realization crushed her.
She cried harder.
So hard that her shoulders shook uncontrollably.
So hard that it looked as though her heart was breaking all over again.
Fluke immediately crossed the room.
Without saying a word, he sat beside her and gently wrapped an arm around her trembling shoulders.
Not to silence her tears.
Not to stop her from crying.
But simply to let her know...
...she didn't have to carry this pain alone anymore.
He held her the way an older brother would.
Steady.
Patient.
Protective.
He let her cry.
He let her mourn the four years that had been stolen from both of them.
Only after several long moments, when Lingling's sobs had softened into quiet, trembling breaths, did Fluke finally speak.
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Lingling..."
He swallowed hard.
"Orm made a mistake."
"A terrible mistake."
"A mistake that changed both of your lives forever."
His eyes slowly lowered to the floor.
"And I know she'll carry that guilt for the rest of her life."
A painful silence settled between them.
"But..."
His hand gently squeezed Lingling's shoulder.
"Never mistake that for a lack of love."
His own voice began to tremble.
"Because if these past four years have taught me anything..."
A tear slipped down his cheek.
"...it's that I have never..."
"...not once in my entire life..."
"...seen someone love another person the way Orm has loved you."
He looked into Lingling's tear-filled eyes.
There was no pity in his gaze.
Only honesty.
Only certainty.
"So when the day finally comes..."
"When your heart is ready..."
"When you're no longer hearing her through the echoes of your pain..."
"I hope you'll give her one chance."
"Just one."
"I hope you'll let her tell you everything."
"Listen without anger."
"Listen without fear."
"Listen without letting the wounds of the past decide what the truth is."
His voice cracked beneath the weight of his own emotions.
"Because I truly believe..."
"...the love you both spent four years mourning..."
"...is the very same love that has survived four years of silence."
"And if a love can survive that..."
He smiled sadly through his tears.
"...then maybe..."
"...just maybe..."
"...it deserves the chance to be heard before it's finally laid to rest. This love might finally save both of you."
The room fell silent once again.
Only Lingling's quiet sobs remained.
Outside, the rain continued to fall, each drop gently tapping against the windows as though the heavens themselves were grieving with them.
Lingling lowered her head.
Her fingers curled tightly against her knees.
For the first time in four years...
She no longer knew which hurt more—
the pain of believing Orm had stopped loving her...
or the unbearable realization that Orm never had.
And somewhere, deep beneath the ruins of a heart that had spent years convincing itself there was nothing left to save...
the smallest crack appeared.
Not enough to let forgiveness in.
Not yet.
But just enough...
...for the truth to finally find its way inside.