Chapter 8 Lexi
EIGHT
LEXI
Being around Colten has always been easy, even with the crush I’ve been harboring for over a decade.
He’s safe, predictable, and one of the only people I’ve ever truly trusted.
Maybe it’s the scars we share from having shitty fathers, or the fact he’s always right there when I need him, or how he helped me get over my first heartbreak by doing all my favorite things with me for a whole day.
A seventeen-year-old Colten in the lingerie section of Macy’s will never not be my favorite memory.
He may look every bit like a Mafia underboss, but on the inside, he’s gentle, and I’ve always admired how he held on to himself as he transitioned into a role that forced him to be ruthless.
There’s no one else I’d want to see at Cruz’s side, though, because I know without hesitation that he has my brother’s back the way no one else ever would.
“Those squirrels thrive on teasing him,” I say, drinking the last of my wine.
I don’t drink often, partly because I did more than enough of that in college, but mostly because my dad was a mean drunk. Or more accurately, he was a mean everything, but liquor took away his inhibitions, and he didn’t bother pulling punches.
It was those times that he didn’t care if anyone knew what happened behind closed doors, and they account for some of the worst times of my life.
“It’s his karma for how much he fucks with Cruz.”
I giggle and reach into my purse for my phone.
As someone who has an online identity, it’s rare that I don’t check my phone for extended periods of time.
Sure, an hour here or there, and when I sleep, but aside from that, my phone is basically glued to my hand, and although I try my best to have as much screen-free time as possible, I’m not always successful.
A little part of me is disappointed when I don’t find a message from him, but then he was the last one to reply, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
“We should head out so you can get back to your life,” I say, pushing myself to my feet. I’m glad I went with the romper tonight, because it meant there was a lot less room for wardrobe malfunctions.
God, wouldn’t that have made for quite the addition to the night?
“There’s nowhere I need to be, Wildcat. Have another drink if you want.”
I shake my head. “I’m tired, and I’m ready to put tonight behind me.” It’s the truth. I am tired, the wine bringing a soft warmth to my body that tells me I’m going to have the sleep of my life tonight.
Plus, I’m feeling just inebriated enough to send another racy photo before I crash.
Colten gets to his feet, throws a few extra bills on the table despite the fact Nico already left a sizable tip on his way out, and then meets me at the edge of the table.
His hand falls to the small of my back before he guides me forward, immediately falling into the role of my bodyguard.
He’s always been like this, though. Even when we were kids, Colten always took protecting me so seriously, just the same way Cruz did.
I used to think that maybe it was because he felt an obligation to me as my brother’s best friend, but the day he stepped between my father and me one afternoon when I was home late from school, I realized it was just the kind of person he was.
His eyes dart around the street as we step onto the sidewalk. I wrap my arms around myself when a cold gust of wind blows past us.
You’d think after living in the rainy city my whole life that I would know better than to not bring a jacket, but it definitely would have ruined my outfit.
Without missing a beat, Colten slips his jacket off and holds it out to me.
“You don’t have to do that,” I say quickly. “I’m the idiot that didn’t bring one for myself.”
He growls. “Put the jacket on, Wildcat. And never say shit like that about yourself.”
“Or what?” I challenge with a raised brow.
He stares at me for long seconds, a flash of heat that I know I must be imagining staring back at me before his usually cool composure returns. “Do as you’re told, Lexi.”
I sigh and slip my arms into the warm fabric, immediately breathing in his sandalwood scent. He’s worn the same cologne since high school, and there’s something inherently safe about it.
But then that’s just Colten.
One of the only people I’m ever safe to be my true self with.
I shake off the thought as we reach the car, and I watch as he walks around the SUV, checking beneath each of the tires to ensure it hasn’t been tampered with.
Not even Ken goes through this rigmarole, but it makes Colten feel better to know he’s checked all his bases, and therefore I stopped arguing with him about it years ago.
Once he’s cleared it, I slip into the passenger seat, earning me a pointed look.
“It’s safer in the back.”
I roll my eyes. “So you keep reminding me. But I’d rather sit with you, so deal with it.”
He stares at me for long seconds, and I wonder if he’s about to drag me into the back seat, but then he huffs out a defeated sigh and secures his own seat belt.
“You’re a brat, you know that?”
“Only for you.” I smirk.
He shakes his head but doesn’t bother responding as he starts the drive to Cruz’s house.
At this time of night it doesn’t take long to navigate our way out of the city, and before long, and before I’m ready, we’re pulling into the long driveway.
Colten waves to the guards stationed at the guardhouse before pulling up to the house, and for some stupid reason, my chest aches at the idea of leaving him.
I had a nice time with Nico tonight, but if I’m honest, the time since Colten sat down across from me has been the best part of the whole night. Hell, it’s probably the best part of my month, no matter how sad that is.
Neither of us speaks, much like the rest of the drive, but I can’t sit here forever.
I have to go inside and get ready for bed.
Alone.
Always alone.
“Thanks for rescuing Ken tonight, it was nice to spend some time with you. It’s been…too long.” I actually can’t remember the last time Colten and I spent time together alone, and that upsets me more than it should.
Or maybe my hurt is justified. He is my friend as well. He’s only a year older than me and a year younger than Cruz, putting him in the middle of the two of us. But more and more it’s felt like he’s distancing himself from me.
“It has,” he says softly, turning to look across the car at me. “You going to be okay alone tonight?”
I shrug. “Just the same way I am every night.” I try to hide the bitterness in the words, but I do a shitty job, causing his brows to dip in concern. “I’m fine, Colt. I’ll see you around.”
Without a backward glance, I push myself from the car and make quick work of the front door code.
It’s only when I’m inside that I realize I’m still wearing his jacket.
Knowing him the way I do, I know he’s still sitting there, probably watching the electronic lock system in the house to make sure I lock the door behind myself before he pulls away, but for some reason, I don’t want to let go of this little part of him.
Because maybe just for tonight, I can pretend Colten isn’t my brother’s best friend, and I’m not the useless Mafia princess he’s always had to protect.
Just for tonight, I’ll let myself think about what it would be like to belong to Colten Pierce.