Chapter 9 Colten
NINE
COLTEN
Imake it as far as the road outside Cruz’s house before I park, unable to force myself another yard away from Lexi.
You’d think after denying myself for all these years that it would get easier to walk away, but if anything, it gets harder.
So much fucking harder.
For a long time, I was able to convince myself that this is what was best for her. Keeping my distance. Allowing her to live her life without my darkness dragging her into the shadows.
I have no fucking clue how I’m going to keep my obsession under control when Lexi eventually meets whoever she’s going to marry.
It’s inevitable.
One of these matches is going to realize they have the best woman they’ve ever met sitting in front of them, and they’re not going to let her go.
I sigh and drop my head back against the seat.
I should go home and sleep. Ever since Cruz left, I’ve been averaging four hours a night at best, and the exhaustion is starting to weigh on me.
And yet I can’t drag myself away from her.
Fuck.
My phone vibrates on the seat beside me, and I reach for it out of instinct. I can’t wait to go back to not being the one in charge.
Wildcat: Date was a bust. Thank you again for helping me pick an outfit. Good night *heart emoji*
Wildcat: *sent a photo*
I groan at the image that fills my screen. Her silky skin is flushed from a piping hot shower, and her nipples have hardened beneath the cool air in the bathroom.
She’s perfection.
CJP: You’re beautiful, baby. He’s clearly blind if he didn’t snap you up the second you arrived.
Wildcat: Not everyone can be my biggest fan like you are.
I choke on a laugh, because she doesn’t realize how true those words are.
She has no idea that no one will ever feel the way I do about her. The level of obsession, devotion, and pure love I feel for her is unlike anything anyone else could.
CJP: Sleep well, Wildcat *heart emoji*
Wildcat: Good night xx
I drop the phone back to the passenger seat and allow my eyes to fall closed for a moment. Sleeping in my car isn’t ideal, but apparently tonight it’s necessary.
The lingering unease from the motion detector being set off mixed with how desperately I want to be close to Lexi makes it impossible to even consider driving the twenty minutes to my apartment.
God, I’m so fucked.