Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
LEXI
I’m starving.
We’re closing in on the eighteen-hour mark since I last ate, and if there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that hangry Lexi is my worst alter ego.
But I’m not stepping out of this room until Colten leaves, something he should have done hours ago and hasn’t.
Now, I’m not so stupid as to think that he doesn’t have a key that could get him into the room if he really wanted to get in here, but I need to know that he respects my boundaries if we have any chance of making this work.
Which at this point is anyone’s guess.
I can’t even say that I’m surprised that Colten is CJP, because it makes a weird amount of sense.
No other man has ever interested me in the same way they have. No one outside of my immediate family has ever shown the same level of care, which, now that I’m thinking about it, is really freaking sad. And I’ve never felt the same kind of comfort and safety as I have with them.
In different ways, I suppose.
When I’m with Colten, I know no one will hurt me because he won’t let them. There isn’t a single part of me that believes he wouldn’t throw himself in front of any danger if it meant I would come out of it unscathed.
And with CJP, I was able to explore parts of my sexuality I likely wouldn’t have had the nerve to in real life. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know half of my own kinks. He gave me a safe place to explore my own desires, the same way Colten has always given me physical safety.
So yeah, it makes sense, but I’m still pissed about it and probably will be until further notice.
I have so many questions still, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to face him and believe a word that comes out of his mouth when all he’s done recently is lie to me.
I reach for my phone and check the time in Italy before dialing Riley’s number. I know she’s on her honeymoon, but I need bestie advice, and I need it from someone who will give it to me straight.
Riley spent the first month of her marriage to my brother actively trying to convince him to divorce her, so I’m hoping she’s going to have some useful advice for me.
It rings a couple of times before Riley’s voice comes down the line. “Lexi! I was just about to call and check in on you!”
I smile, my eyes filling with tears. Finding your best friend in your sister-in-law is honestly such a blessing, and I’m eternally grateful to the matchmaker for giving not only Cruz his perfect match but also me my best friend.
We’ve been texting back and forth since I left the house yesterday, but it’s nice to hear her voice after missing her the last couple of weeks.
And Cruz…I guess.
“Are you with my brother?”
“No, he’s off planning some surprise for me that he doesn’t think I know about. You’d think he’d realize by now I’m always one step ahead of him.” She laughs. “What’s up?”
“I need to tell you something, and I need you to never breathe a word of any of it to Cruz.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
I choke out a giggle. “No, definitely not pregnant.”
“Okay, shoot. Your secrets are always safe with me unless they put you in danger.”
Spoken like a true best friend. She’d cover for me if I murdered a guy and help me bury the body, but the second I’m in any kind of trouble that could get me hurt, that’s where she draws the line.
I take a deep breath and tell her everything.
About Fan Faves, CJP, Colten, and the connection between the break-in and the platform.
Everything.
And when I’m done, I feel like I’ve shed a hundred pounds’ worth of secrets I’ve been keeping for years.
Riley’s silent for a beat, probably trying to process what I’ve just told her, which is fair. It was a lot.
“So Colten has been a subscriber since you first started your account?”
“That’s what he says.”
“And he never told you that he knew about it?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, let me play devil’s advocate here for a second.
Let’s say that five years ago when you created your account and posted your first piece of content, that your brother’s best friend, who you had been crushing on since you were a kid, came to you and told you that he’d seen it, what would you have done? ”
I open my mouth to respond but quickly snap it shut again.
“And if he waited a couple of years and then told you, how would you have reacted?”
Again, I have no answer, because I’m picking up what she’s putting down loud and clear.
“I’m not saying what Colten has done and how he’s gone about it is right, because it’s definitely in the gray area, but something that I can tell you with absolute certainty is that I knew that man was in love with you the second I saw you in the same room at the wedding.
The way he watched you, making sure you were safe even while keeping his distance, it was like his entire purpose was to keep you safe.
And the more time I’ve spent with the two of you together, the more I realize that that is absolutely the case.
Colten is loyal to a fault, but if it came down to betraying Cruz or you getting hurt, he wouldn’t blink.
” She pauses, allowing me to process the implications of her words.
“You think he loves me?” The words sound stupid even to my own ears, but I can’t help myself. I need to know.
“No, Lexi, I know he loves you.”
I drop back against the pillows, immediately regretting the decision when his scent envelops me. “I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.
“Take the time you need to process everything, but don’t push him away just because you’re scared.
It should be very telling that your brother hasn’t flown home to go all protective on you after yesterday’s break-in.
He trusts Colten with your life, and knowing what you do about Cruz, that should be your biggest clue of how much you mean to Colten. ”
I swallow heavily and wipe away a tear from my cheek. I know she’s right. Cruz is beyond overprotective, and in any other situation, he would have been chartering a private jet the second he heard about what happened.
But he didn’t.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
“I’m always here for you, Lex. Keep me updated, and don’t make it too easy for him. It’s fun to keep these men on their toes.”
I laugh before saying my goodbyes and dropping the phone to the bed beside me.
The elevator dings, and I listen closely as footsteps get quieter before the apartment falls silent.
He’s gone.
An idea forms in my head, and before I can think too hard about it, I’m tugging on a pair of workout leggings and a sweater, followed by my favorite white sneakers.
Once I’m dressed, I stick my head out of the bedroom and survey the space, double-checking he’s gone before moving toward the elevator.
I press the button and hold my breath. There’s a chance he’s locked it to keep me here while he’s away, but when the doors slide open, I can’t help but smile.
Looks like I’ll be getting the space I need.